Author: Doug Slagle

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(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

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Many of us know the story of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.  It may be the most famous story ever written about the power of love.  I won’t describe it in lot of detail, but it tells of a teenage guy and a teenage girl who are each from families that hate one another.

Romeo is persuaded by friends to attend a dance party so that he can meet a girl he really likes.  This party is held by the family that hates Romeo’s family – but he decides to go anyway hoping the girl he likes is there.

At the dance, he doesn’t meet that girl, but sees instead Juliet – who is a member of the hated family.  Romeo and Juliet, who meet for the first time, are immediately smitten.  They talk, laugh and flirt.  A cousin of Juliet sees Romeo, however, and realizes he’s from the hated family.  He attacks Romeo and throws him out of the party.

But Romeo is so taken with Juliet that he sneaks back into her yard hoping to see her again.  He sees her on an upstairs balcony and she’s very happy.  She’s smiling, talking to herself, and saying how much she loves Romeo.  She doesn’t care that he’s from the hated family.  She will love him anyway and she pledges to be with him no matter what.  Hearing her say these things, Romeo tells Juliet he loves her and asks her to marry him.  She says yes and the two get married the next day by a sympathetic Minister.

Juliet’s cousin meanwhile challenges Romeo to a fight.  Even though he didn’t want to fight this guy, Romeo ends up killing him.  When Juliet’s father hears this, he tells the police to make Romeo leave the city forever.  The father also orders Juliet to marry another guy.  Juliet runs away and asks the Minister what to do.

The Minister gives Juliet a sleeping pill to take just before she is marry the other guy.  She’ll then appear as if she’s dead – so her dad can’t force her to get married.  She takes the pill and falls into a deep sleep.

Romeo, like everyone else, doesn’t know she’d only taken a sleeping pill.  He thinks that she’s dead.  Romeo is so upset the girl of his dreams has died that he decides to kill himself too.  He drinks poison and dies.

When Juliet wakes up, she sees that Romeo is dead.  She is so upset she kills herself with a sword!

The story ends when the two families find Romeo and Juliet dead and learn that they had secretly gotten married.  The families decide to stop fighting and forgive each other – in honor of the two lovers.

My telling of the story leaves out most of the romantic parts.  Even though it’s a great story that people have enjoyed for four hundred years,  

it’s not very realistic.  Do people really fall so passionately in love and get married in only one day?  I don’t think so.  What Romeo and Juliet felt was powerful, but it wasn’t reasonable, and it wasn’t yet real love.  I think they were instead infatuated with each other.  Like many of us have experienced, they first saw each and really liked what they saw.  They were physically attracted to one another.  They flirted and laughed, but it wasn’t true love they felt.  They felt infatuation – which is mostly a feeling of attraction to a person’s looks, status or wealth.

Real love doesn’t happen overnight.  Real love wants to spend lots of time getting to know the other person.  Real love comes from calmly thinking about her or him – their personality and their character.  Real love understands the flaws in the other one, but loves them anyway.  Real love makes you feel peaceful.

Infatuation, on the other hand, makes you feel like you’re drunk.  Infatuation is not rational.  It wrongly thinks the other person is totally perfect without giving much thought to that.  Infatuation happens very quickly and ends pretty fast too.

Most of us think about somebody we first like with a combination of being cool and being an idiot at the same time.  We use our intelligence but our attractions distract us.  In many ways, our brain is divided when it comes to falling in love with someone – one brain side thinks, the other side doesn’t think – it only feels.

Watch with me now what I think is a very funny video about love and our divided brains:

That’s a great video to help us think about the power of fake love – or  what I call infatuation – versus the power of real love that thinks.  The guy’s brain is torn between wanting to do all the nice things that build real love.  But his hormones, his attraction, and his infatuation with the girl take over.  

The video also gets at what John Legend wrote in his song “All of Me”.  Legend has a divided brain for the person he wrote the song about.  His head is spinning, he’s on a magical mystery ride, he’s dizzy, his head’s under water, and he does not know what hit him.  He’s very attracted to someone.

But he’s also trying his best to think clearly.  He’s attracted to her curves – or her looks.  But he also loves her edges – the things about her that aren’t perfect even though, as he sings, he loves her imperfections.  When we really love someone, we love all of them – the good and the not so good.

What I hope we each do – especially you young people – is that we think about the difference between infatuation and real love.  We would not be human if we do not feel a wonderful high when we are first attracted to someone.  But that’s not love.  It might eventually become real love – but only with time and patience spent listening to and getting to know the other person.

I’ve talked in my messages this February about love.  Two weeks ago I talked about unconditional love.  Don’t judge someone you love.  Forgive them when they do something that hurts you.  Love them just the way they are.

Last week I talked about loving yourself.  And I quoted Ru Paul, the famous drag queen, who tells people, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?”  We shouldn’t judge ourselves too harshly and should do, instead, what Buddhists say: be gentle with ourselves.

For today, I hope you will think about what real romantic love is.  Infatuation is all about right now.  I’m attracted to you and I want to make out with you now!  That is not love.

Real love is all about staying power.  It wants to be together for many, many years.  It is patient, gentle and plans for a future together.

And so, three ideas I have for us this February month of love:  1) Love and serve other people no matter what they do or don’t do.  2) Love and accept yourself.  And, 3) when you feel like you’re attracted to someone, enjoy that feeling, but know it isn’t love.  Instead, stop, think, and appreciate them for their character, their personality, and the possibility of spending time getting to know her or him…..and only then falling into real love.

Peace to each of you!

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills

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Many of you may have heard of Ru Paul Charles.  After many years in the entertainment industry, he is now enjoying his greatest success and fame.  Ru Paul is an internationally well-known African-American drag performer who produces and hosts the three time Emmy award winning TV show “Ru Paul’s Drag Race”.  He’s written and performed several bestselling albums and songs, he’s acted in multiple movies and TV shows, and he was recently selected as one of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people.

He was named Ru (R…U) by his Louisiana mother, after the creole word r…o..u..x which means a gumbo mixture or, for him, a blend of many cultures.  He started in show business as a drag performer – a man who assumes the look, glamor, and identity of a woman to sing, lip-sync, act, or dance.   Most drag queens, as they are known, are not men who want to be transgender.  Instead, they are men who wish to remain male while finding fulfillment in expressing a feminine side of themselves – one that is strong and confident.  A few women have also emerged who call themselves drag kings.  They dress in male attire with short hair and fake beards and mustaches – as a way for them to express their masculine side.

Ru Paul says that drag performing is about putting on layers in order to figuratively take off layers – ones that have hidden a person’s true self.  Doing drag is a way for some men and women to express themselves openly and with a form of in your face self-confidence.

On one of Ru Paul’s shows, a drag queen contestant emotionally described the vulnerability that lay just beneath his exterior.  He vividly remembers being abandoned by his mother at a bus station when he was a child.  Growing up knowing he’d been unwanted, and then realizing he was gay, this man saw himself as unworthy and unloved.  When he turned to drag performing in his twenties, it was a way to both say, “I love me”, and to forthrightly demand respect.

As Ru Paul says, gays and lesbians often grow up, as do other marginalized people, knowing they are different and thinking the world despises them as freaks, perverts, or less than ideal people.  Performing drag is one way some gay men and women embrace who they are without shame.  For Ru Paul, we all have unique abilities that can improve the world, but the only way we can share them is if we have the self-love to do so.  As a conclusion to each of his TV shows, Ru Paul tells the performers, and his audience, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?  Do I have an Amen?!?”      

I spoke last Sunday about perfect love by examining seven famous verses in the Bible.  Those verses beautifully define what genuine love for others is: it’s unconditional because it does not judge, it always forgives, and most of all it accepts another just as she or he is.

Today, I follow-up on that message by looking at a love poem by Khalil Gibran, a famous Muslim poet from Lebanon.  In it, he encourages couples to love one another – but to do so in ways that do not forsake one’s own identity.  The ultimate message of his poem entitled “Love One Another” is to love yourself – too. 

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.  Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

I often say in my messages what I believe is our mission in life.  We exist not to just please ourselves, but to serve others.  Extreme selfishness, arrogance, and narcissism are not ways to live as truly compassionate and loving people.

Importantly, however, as some of you have pointed out during past  “talkback” times, and as Gibran implies in the poem I just read, self-less-ness must be balanced by a measure of selfishness.  The magazine Psychology Today says that everybody experiences the push-pull of connection and separation – whether to selflessly be in community with another or to pull away and serve just oneself.  As infants, we connect deeply with our mothers and fathers.  But after only a few years we begin the process of separating from mom and dad by asserting small levels of independence.  We begin to form our own identities comprising personality, hopes, wants and opinions.  Full separation comes when we assume the identity and responsibility of an adult – to fully care for ourselves.

But separation from our parents is usually replaced with connection to a partner, spouse and children.  As humans, we yearn to love and be loved – and thus be connected.  We do not function well as islands unto ourselves.  We depend on other people for support, community, and, of course, love.

But, it is from our connected loving relationships that we encounter an ironic reality.  In order to love others, as Ru Paul notes and as Kahlil Gibran implies in his poem, we must also love just ourselves.  This is not the narcissistic love that the President seems to have for himself, but rather a realistic acknowledgement of our basic needs in life – as well as as awareness of our individual capabilities and deficiencies.  Without an appreciation of our personal needs and our true selves, we can believe we are either so worthless as to have nothing to offer the world, or else we believe we are so great that everything should revolve around us.  Both of these attitudes result from deep insecurity.

Mr. Trump apparently loves himself to an extreme.  While it seems that he has a strong self-confidence, the likelihood is that he is so insecure that he uses arrogance as a cover for his fears and doubts.  His bravado is, in truth, a sign of weakness.  He has limited ability to show love, empathy or compassion since he showers it all on himself.  

Other people, however, can be so insecure that they have no love, understanding, or forgiveness for themselves.  They are at the opposite extreme of people like Mr. Trump.  They often show little empathy, compassion or love to others not because they are selfish or arrogant, but because they are tooisolated and too timid. 

As most psychologists point out, we must have both a healthy humility, and a healthy love for ourselves.  We can and should appreciate our unique talents and personalities – all so we can use them for good.  But we should also be aware of areas in which we need to grow – as well as areas where we should rely on the proficiency that other people have.   This includes understanding where the needs of others take precedence over our needs so that we listen, ask for other opinions, cooperate, and give.  Self-love becomes a way to ironically be others focused.  

The magazine Psychology Today points out that being lovingly connected to others does not mean we should be totally merged with them.  Their identity should not be ours.  This is what Gibran emphasizes when he writes, “Fill each other’s cup – but drink not from one cup.”  Love for another person cannot be so all consuming that it diminishes appreciation of our own beauty, power and uniqueness.  If we do, we will have nothing inside us to give away.   

We also cannot be so detached from a loved one so that the only affection we have is for ourselves.  The challenge is to find a balance.  We must love ourselves too – but just enough to enable our primary purpose in life to love and serve other people.

Finding the right balance between total selflessness and total selfishness is complicated and not easy.  Indeed, connecting to and loving others is a way to ironically find love for oneself.  When someone loves us, we find in them a mirror to recognize all of the good they see in us.  Those who love us affirm our own healthy appreciation of ourselves.  But other people’s love for us should not be a stimulant to our egos so that it destroys many of the reasons why we are loved.   We are usually loved for our kindness, generosity, empathy and…….our self-confidence, which can only come from love of self.  That is the challenging balance we must each find – to love ourselves too, but not too much.

As Gibran says in his poem, “Love one another, but make not a bond of love.  Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”  When we find the right balance between love for others, and love for self, we are not tied to either extreme.  Our love will ebb and flow like the tide between two shores – some for me to sustain myself, a lot of love to give away.

The love balance I’ve mentioned is a third way, or middle way,  between love for others and love for self.  It is what some psychologists call inter-dependent love.  We are neither all giving or all taking.  We rely on a mutuality of love.  If we each truly live out our purpose in life to serve and love others, we will each end up also being loved.  This is a simple law of mutuality.  When we all give, we all gain.

Inter-dependence therefore comes when everyone loves others to the same extent they love themselves.  This is perfectly expressed in the Golden Rule – an ideal that all world religions teach.  We are to love others as much as we love ourselves.  And that is the challenging model for our culture and for us.  Our task is to serve the common good while also advancing individual rights.  The welfare of all depends on the welfare of each person alone.  In other words, for a healthy society and healthy people, there should be no extremes of selfishness, and no extremes selflessness.

For Gibran and his poetic encouragement to married, partnered and dating couples, each should practice this balanced art of loving inter-dependence.   They are neither a united couple, nor are they two separate individuals.  They are both.

Since we are to serve and love others with at least the same intensity that we love ourselves, then the task before us is simple.  If we can’t love ourselves, how the hell are we going to love somebody else?  Do I have an Amen?!?”

I wish you all much peace and joy.

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills

Please click here to listen to the message or see below to read it.

I believe the Bible is a compilation of writings by many different authors mostly dating from 500 years before Jesus to 150 years after.  It is mostly theological, and not literal history.  Written entirely by men, the books of the Bible each have a religious agenda and were intended to support, encourage, criticize or inspire targeted groups of people.  I also  believe the majority of the Bible is allegorical.   Its stories were intended as lessons and not as descriptions of actual events – although small portions of the Bible do include historical fact.  Anyone familiar with Greek mythology, Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, or Aesop’s fables can understand how and why Biblical literature was composed.  No Biblical author intended to deceive.  Rather, they used myth-like stories to instruct and persuade people about religion, life and doing good.

Should the Bible, because it’s mostly not factual, be relegated to the fiction book section and read only in that light?  I don’t think so.  There are useful insights in it that are relevant to us today – no matter our spiritual beliefs or no beliefs.  The Jewish and Christian Bible is thus a piece of useful wisdom literature as are other Scriptures like the Koran or the Hindu Upanishads.

I say all of this to preface my message today which will look at perhaps the most well-known of Bible verses – ones recited at countless weddings, ones that have inspired many poems and songs including the Unitarian Universalist hymn, “Though I May Speak with Bravest Fire,” and ones I hope will prompt our reflections on February’s Valentines Day and the topic of love.  The love verses in Paul’s first letter to the early Christian church, in the ancient Greek city of Corinth, are ones I consider today because I believe, as do many people, they are perhaps the most poetic and timeless definitions of love as have ever been composed.

If I speak many languages, even that of angels, but do not have love, I am only a loud gong or clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and, for pride’s sake, sacrifice myself for others, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.   It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Just like all other books in the Bible, Paul wrote his first Corinthians letter to instruct.  In doing so, he wrote verses that will forever be considered the ultimate description of love’s truth .  For any of us who seek to better love partners, spouses, parents, children, friends, or strangers – we might meditate on them.

Paul’s letter rebukes and teaches the Corinth congregation.  This early church had become toxic – one that was deeply divided, arrogant, competitive, abusive, and insensitive.  Many people in that church, like many residents of the city, were highly educated and very wealthy.  That created in them arrogance and haughtiness.  They believed themselves to be intellectually, spiritually, and culturally superior to members who were not urbane, “with it” or rich.  Terrible divisions resulted with the elites shunning others by asserting only they should be leaders.  They arrogantly held lavish meals and social events to which the less wealthy could not afford to participate – and that did not trouble the church’s leaders.   Worst of all, the elites felt only they had knowledge of what is true and they adopted a “my way or the highway” attitude – think as we do or get out.  Sadly, Paul’s letter shows that church communities, from their very beginning, can become cliquish, unloving and exclusive.  The hypocrisy of a community that claimed to believe in the ethics of Jesus was too much for Paul.  His letter holds no punches in its criticism of them.  But his love verses were a way to gently show them the light.  Don’t puff yourselves up so much that you forget the greatest of all sentiments, he wrote.  Be kind, be humble, don’t judge, forgive, be empathetic and compassionate to all – and most importantly practice these to people you dislike, disagree with, or who live on the margins.

For Paul, love is not merely a warm feeling.  It is the bedrock ideal on which all other ideals are founded.  As he wrote, one can seemingly be the smartest, most capable, most justice seeking person ever, but if he or she does not speak, act and think with love, they are nothing.  It’s in this way that Paul understood what it means to be a Christian or, for that matter, any intuitive and aware person.  All of life and all of human accomplishment rises or falls on whether or not we love.  And so Paul, with his words, described for the Corinthian church just exactly what genuine love looks like.  It is unconditional and selfless affection toward another – no matter what.

Since all of us are a child of someone, the parent of someone, or the owner of a pet, we each have most likely felt or shown unconditional love.  For me, and I am not in any way an expert on love, I can mostly understand it’s “no strings attached” expression by what I feel for my daughters.  Love for them is somehow hardwired into me.  No matter what good or bad things Amy and Sara could ever do or not do, I will love them.  I knew from the instant they came into this world, so tiny, fragile and dependent on their mom and me, that I deeply loved them.  I’ve felt it every time they were hurt – with a scraped knee, with a cold or flu, with a boyfriend who forsook them, or with the disappointments of school and work.  Their hurt was and is my hurt.  Their vulnerability is my vulnerability.  Their fears and doubts are mine too – and all I can feel is a desire to protect them and make them feel better.

I’ve equally felt that love when they’ve disappointed me:  when they, as children, openly defied me, or when, as teenagers, they cursed me for setting curfews, or now when they get busy with their lives and forget to call.  I’ve felt the ache of love at those times not because I’m wounded, but because I perceive more clearly how deep my affection is for them.  Only a parent can fathom such unconditional love when a belligerent child or rebellious teenager proclaims their disdain for those who brought them into the world.  It’s childhood angst and not real dislike, most parents know.  My girls are now two of my best friends who conclude every call and every visit with me by saying, “I love you.”   In my eyes, they are still the innocent little girls who used to call me daddy, held my hand wherever we walked, and wanted my approval more than anything in the world.

As a son, I’ve also felt unconditional love for, and from, my mom.  She was my constant cheerleader when I grew up – always finding ways to boost the self-esteem of her introspective and quiet son.  When I came out as a gay man thirteen years ago, my mom was initially confused – but she quickly rallied to my defense.  She would look at my dad with dagger eyes whenever he made homophobic statements – sensing how they hurt me.  Most of all, she assured me of her acceptance at a time when I felt very alone.

And I feel the same toward her.  Suffering from dementia, she is now the child and I’m the parent.  She repeats questions over and over.  She delights in eating desserts and sweet things.  She loves stuffed animals.  She cries at any physical pain, but cherishes hugs and having her hand held.  I can’t help feeling upset when I see her now – alone, afraid, and delusional – in a place surrounded by strangers.  It’s terrible of me to think this, but I regularly pray she finds her final peace by quietly slipping into eternity sometime soon.  I love her no matter what – but I ache at her suffering.

For anyone who has owned and loved a pet, this kind of love is much the same.  An innocent creature depends on its owner for everything – food, shelter, acceptance, kindness and affection.  Pets, in turn, love their owners far beyond what they receive.  Pets see the reality of our true selves – the little frustrations, flashes of anger, or occasional indifference we can show.  And yet, in their eyes, we are like the sun.  We’re the center, the sustenance, the security of their existence.  Their love and devotion is so total it’s usually unmatched by any human lover.  If we want to experience pure, unconditional love, we should have a dog or cat.

The love of child, parent or pet, as I’ve said, is as close to true love as many of us experience.  We love our partners, spouses and friends, but so often that love is conditional.  We love based on the love we get in return.  And yet Paul clearly implies in his love verses that true love is not dependent on how another treats us.  This is the love force that I believe IS god.  Pure, true and holy love does not judge another because he or she is different.  It lets go of, and forgives, another for the hurts they’ve inflicted.   It does not keep score of good deeds offered and good deeds received.   It sees no bad, hears no bad, and speaks no bad.   Instead, as Paul says, true love notices, celebrates, and remembers only the positive in another.  This is the love Jesus taught when he implored his followers to selflessly serve the poor, sick and sinful.  It’s the perfect love that prompted him to teach about love for one’s enemies, to turn the other cheek, and to honestly forgive past wrongs.  Love does not return anger for anger, hate for hate, violence for violence.  Its seeming weakness is, indeed, its very strength.

        When my dad was in his last hour of life, his three children and his grandchildren circled around him.  His breathing was heavy and labored.  He had been a man’s man – someone who rarely showed emotion, almost never said, “I love you,” and blustered his way through life with a macho bravado.   I was and am very different, and I rarely felt close to him.  But on his deathbed, I forgot all of that and loved him intensely.  It was not emotion for a dying parent.  Instead, I felt a love born of finally understanding him for who he was – a man who lived on his own terms, who served and gave to others, and who was as messed up as me or anyone else.  He came to his end not with memories and celebrations of career achievement, money and things acquired, good deeds performed, or fun times had.  Instead, it was just love that surrounded him, held him, and cried over him.  And in some odd way, he returned that love to those of us near him.  The sum of his life, his children and grandchildren and all that they give to the world because he first gave to them, was boiled down to its essence.  We loved him and he loved us.

That is the kind of unconditional love of Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr., prophets who taught their followers that the only path to equality and reconciliation is paved with love.  As King once said, “We must discover the power of love, the redemptive power of love.  And when we discover that, we will be able to make of this old world a new world.  We will be able to make men better.  Love is the only way.”  

        For me, on a Sunday when this congregation, for the first time ever,  publicly declares, “Black Lives Matter,” King’s words speak as true and eternal as ever.  Also, we add our commitment and love to member Leslie Edwards in remembrance of 15 years ago when this congregation, along with our sister Cincinnati UU congregations, apologized to him and his family for Unitarian racism against his grandfather, the Rev. WHG Carter over a century ago.  That apology represents both the eventual triumph of love over hate, but also our determination to continually act with love by working against hate wherever it appears.

Love is the most difficult of emotions to define or understand.  And yet we know it when we receive it and when we give it.  Ultimately, as Paul so eloquently wrote two thousand years ago, pure, true and perfect love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

I wish you all much peace and joy.

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(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

 

Please click here to listen to the message.  See below to read it.

 

My partner, Keith Murrell, was born two months premature.  His mother, who was a work at home mom already caring for four children,  suffered several complications that threatened her health during the pregnancy with Keith.  Doctors encouraged her to think about her large family – and consider her’s and their well-being instead of continuing with the pregnancy.  She refused that encouragement to forsake her baby, out of love for the child, and she continued with the pregnancy until it become necessary to induce early labor.

Keith was then delivered premature and he was very sick and underweight.  He immediately went into an incubator in a neonatal intensive care unit.  Over the next month, his condition slowly improved.  At that point, instead of still being in despair over their premie infant, Keith’s parents were filled with optimism.  The child that his mom had loved so much that she risked her own life to deliver, was improving – even though he still had a ways to go until he would be fully healthy.

I recite this story as a way to illustrate the title of my message today – the paradox of Humanism.  Social scientist and author Steven Pinker has written two recent bestselling books, Enlightenment Now and The Better Angels of Our Nature, that have revolutionized 21st century thinking.  The books discuss the paradox of Humanism and its often negative views of the human condition.

With climate change and its dire consequences, with terrorist attacks a constant threat, with viruses regularly emerging that could potentially kill millions, with human rights around the world attacked, with the possibility that artificially intelligent machines may one day dominate people, with fundamentalist religions seemingly gaining influence, and with the rise of anti-democratic politics around the world – including in the U.S. – it seems that humanity is very sick and even faces potential extinction.

Many progressives, liberals and Humanists have responded to these problems with alarm.  They rightly confront right-wing, reactionary forces that want to undue human progress.

The paradox, author Steven Pinker argues, is that the world is much like a premature infant.  Despite the very real truth that we humanity is a long way from perfection, it’s condition has dramatically improved over history and people now enjoy the best conditions ever. 

A part of that paradox, Pinker believes, results from the failure to see that humanity has continuously improved.  Many people hold the mistaken belief that the human condition is getting worse.  That belief, held by many Humanists – including me until I read Pinker’s book – ironically helps strengthen the many reactionary forces that threaten the well-being of humanity.  If the world is so bad, most right-wing politicians and organizations say, then it is all due to progressivism, science, Humanism, and liberal democracy.  America and the world needs, these right wing extremists say, to return to the supposedly good old days with less liberalism, less democracy, less social welfare, and more religious influence.

In other words, Pinker says Humanists are paradoxically helping to create the political, social and religious forces that seek to undermine all that the world has achieved.  Humanity, according to Pinker, is not anywhere close to being as bad off as many believe.  Humanists must continue their work to improve the world, but they should adopt the optimistic and hopeful attitudes of Keith’s parents when he was improving – but still sick.  Yes, conditions for all of the world’s people are imperfect, but humanity is much, much better off than ever before.   Humanists should therefore be upbeat and positive – all as a way to champion the amazing benefits that historic liberal forces have created – and will continue to create.

The problem with many people – Humanists included – is that they cognitively see the world in a mistaken way.  People are prone to think according to what psychologists call an “availability bias.”  People react to things and events that are most available to their memories – those that have very recently happened.  Almost all people fail to remember the truth about the past – or at least study it to see how worse conditions used to be.  Availability bias leads people to essentially be prejudiced in how they think – to only recall and react to recent events – and thereby believe they define reality.

I confess to having availability bias myself – which often causes me to worry and fret.  I can hear ten nice things about me but then hear one criticism, and I focus exclusively on that.  I can also see one seemingly bad event when, if I actually studied the data, I’d see it’s not so bad at all.  I was concerned this past fall when fewer children were attending our services.  When I expressed my concern to RE teachers, one of them – Jennifer Schmahl, told me things are just fine – some kids have aged out of the RE program and others are often engaging in Sunday sports games.  But youth involvement and commitment to GNH, Jennifer said, as witnessed by our youth Holiday program, is still very good.    

One funny illustration presented by Pinker in his book describes a sketch by the original Saturday Night Live comedians.  Gilda Radner and Chevy Chase are lying in bed after making love.  Chase is worried that Radner was not, I use a euphemism here, “fulfilled”.  Radner ponders for a moment and then says to reassure him, “Maybe I was.  I often reach “fulfillment”……….but I don’t know it!”

       That, for Pinker, summarizes how people – and specifically Humanists – often think.  People don’t even know how fulfilled and happy they are.

The situation with many of today’s liberals and humanists is that they highlight only the bad stuff they remember from recent past – the 2016 election, recent police shootings of unarmed black men, the homeless people they’ve just seen at a shelter, perhaps the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, or recently terrible weather storms.  Their false conclusion according to Pinker:……..the current world is a terrible place.  Many liberals and Humanists become pessimists.  They accept a false reality that history and data do not support.  In every aspect of human life, from civil rights, to death rates, to levels of poverty, things have dramatically improved such that we live in the best of times – regardless of the fact that bad stuff still happens.

In his book The Better Nature of Our Angels, Pinker carefully uses charts and statistics to show that rates of violence, war, murder, and deaths from natural disasters have continually and regularly declined since the dawn of Homo sapiens.  The development of tribes, cities, nations, laws, Enlightenment ideals, advanced technology, and international cooperation have all led to far fewer violent deaths today than ever before.  As Humanists, we lament war, murder, and unnatural death.  But we fail to analyze historical data to see that warfare and violent deaths have steadily declined.

Availability bias is enhanced, according to Pinker, by the media.  Pinker does not attack journalists as enemies, like some politicians, but he still sees them as over-emphasizing bad things.  Indeed, Pinker says that news reporters are governed by the statement, “If it bleeds, it leads.”  Death, mayhem and suffering make for better headlines than do reports that life is getting better.  And the problem is, we as news consumers remember only those stories.

       Just by looking at wars we might remember, each succeeding war the US has fought has resulted in many less deaths.  World War Two caused over 400,000 US military deaths.  The Viet Nam War caused 58,000 US combat deaths.  Total military deaths in both the Afghan and Iraqi wars are 4,200.  That dramatic decline in US war deaths is true for all nations. Humanity is learning from past experience, negotiating more, and avoiding wide-scale wars like World Wars One and Two.  When nations do fight, modern technology and better medical care result in fewer casualties.

Of course, any death in any war is terrible and we must continue peace advocacy.  But as Pinker says, we should also celebrate the fact that the US and the world continue to become less violent.

But if Humanists overlook historical data and persist in a mostly negative attitude about violence, for instance, they cause an added paradox.  They ironically support the arguments of right-wing isolationists like the President, and Kentucky Republican Senator Rand Paul.  Such reactionary politicians want the US to retreat into itself, put up walls around its borders, shun alliances with other nations, and think of itself as an island separate from the rest of the world.  And the likely result, should that come to pass, would be that the U.S. will be made less great and less safe.  Humanists, Pinker argues, should not help these isolationists with a negative view of the human condition.  They should boastfully brag about less violence and unnatural death in the world – and rightfully claim that is due to progressivism of the past.

In this way, Pinker is an equal opportunity critic.  He blames both far-left and far-right extremists for ignoring data and the truth of continual human progress.  Far left extremists champion great ideals but it is often their negative outlook about the present condition of humanity that paradoxically works against what they seek.

And that is true in a number of areas.  Far-left, overly pessimistic extremists, Pinker argues, often unknowingly support far-right extremists who want to defeat forces that improve life.  For instance, Humanists like me see poverty and lament it’s reality.  Far-right extremists use that negativity about poverty and other issues to claim past social welfare programs have made things worse, when they have dramatically made things better.

        This highlights yet another paradox – one called the Easterlin paradox originated by economist Richard Easterlin in 1973.  As all groups of people in the US have steadily increased their incomes – even the poor due to rising minimum wages – the level of happiness for all Americans has historically remained stagnant.  This paradox notes that even as every American class is wealthier now then they were 50 or 100 years ago, the contentment level has not equally increased – even though it has in Western European countries.  Part of the reason is due to rising wealth inequality in America – which justifiably causes some unhappiness.  But the paradox remains.  Most Americans don’t seem to recognize ways they are better off than their ancestors – due primarily to the psychology of availability bias.

In this way, Pinker supports something I often talk about and believe.   Life does not happen at the extremes.  Proverbially, things are never all black or all white.  They are grey.  We live in a world where almost everything is nuanced.  We must therefore encourage balance, cooperation and compromise in how we live and think.  As I’ve said in several past messages, we cannot make perfect the enemy of good or, as the ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius said, “Better a diamond with a flaw, than a pebble without.” 

A balanced view of the human condition sees most areas of life as imperfect but also recognizes the reality that they have consistently improved.  And Pinker has the data and quantitative analysis to prove it.  Liberalism, science and Humanism have built human progress.  Conservatism and religious theism have not.  That is not just a matter of opinion – but proven fact.  Numbers do not lie.

Theistic spirituality, in this case, is reactionary.  It has an inherent availability bias built into it.  The world is full of sin, death and evil, religious theists believe.  They use anecdotal examples to support that bias.  The solution, any theist will tell you, is to turn to an all-powerful but unseen deity to save humanity.  We must worship him or her and follow his or her rules, all in order to escape eternal punishment.

The greatness of Humanism, however, is that it believes in the one and only verifiable means of improving the well-being of people.  Themselves.  My foundational spiritual belief is that it was not some god or goddess that has saved us from past calamity – or will save us from a future one.  The world’s gods and goddesses have instead been scientists working to improve the world, it’s been activists who push for laws to create better living conditions, and it’s been all of us who demand basic rights of life, liberty and happiness.  Humanity is still building a form of heaven on earth.  It’s not finished yet and may never be – but life today is still a glorious thing – especially if we compare it to a thousand years ago when the average life expectancy was thirty years, when two out of three children died before age two, when almost nobody ever travelled beyond a few miles of their birthplace, and when most people were uneducated and lived a life of constant hard work – just to be able to barely survive.  Today, even the poorest and most oppressed live many times better than the poor and oppressed of 1019.

And that’s a paradox everybody should understand – especially Humanists.  Life is still often unfair.  People still hate, discriminate and kill.  Diseases still kill many.  The premature infant that is our human society waits to become self-functioning and fully good.  But we have abundant reason to celebrate the progress the infant has made, and countless reasons to believe more amazing progress is yet to come.  We must still work hard to make things even better – but we, beginning with me, must banish negativity. 

       In that regard, let’s look to the new year with hope and optimism!

Please click here to listen to the message:

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

 

Please click here to listen to the message.  Please see below to read it.

 

Like most of the parents here probably believe, having and raising children are the most rewarding experiences of life – but also the most challenging!  My daughters and I now laugh about their teenage years when they were often furious with me for how I sometimes embarrassed them with uncool dad things I’d say or do in front of their friends.  Or when I set seemingly unreasonable curfews.  And there were times when I was mad at them – and told them, “I will always love you – but right now I don’t like you very much!”

But most of all, as a parent, I think of how rich my life is because of my girls.  I remember as if it was yesterday when they were born.  Childbirth is a miracle repeated thousands of times every day around the world – and yet each birth is simply astounding.  A little human emerges dazed and blinking at bright lights and loud sounds.  The infant is so small, so helpless – and so beautiful.

I sat down soon after each of my girls were born and wrote them letters that I shared with them when they were young adults.  I wanted them to know how honored I felt to be their dad – and what a gift they were to me and their mom.  That feeling I had so many years ago at their birth has not changed.  I look at them now and still see human miracles – beautiful women who are now married and doing great things in the world.

And so the song Michael just sang, “Mary Did You Know?” is one of my holiday favorites.  It expresses several Christian beliefs I don’t hold, but the melody and overall lyrics affect me.  Parents everywhere look at their newborn child and wonder what is ahead.  What ways will she or he love others?  What joys will this child experience?   How will the world be changed for the better because this infant, this miracle of life, was born?

For Mary, she could not know her son would grow to be as great as he was.  I don’t believe Jesus was literally God – but I do believe, from numerous historical pieces of evidence, that he did live – and he did teach wonderful values.  Indeed, his teachings have affected history perhaps more than any other person.  He remains today an exemplar of compassion, empathy,  forgiveness, and love.  When we think of those ideals, we think of him.

But as the song asks, did Mary know he would one day teach and practice such goodness?  We cannot know what she thought, but I imagine Mary had an implicit trust her son would be great – primarily because she must have been a deeply good woman.  Few children are born to be great.  Instead, they become great due to multiple influences – but the foremost of them is because the parents modeled goodness to their children.  Mary’s simple life of poverty created in Jesus empathy for people who live on the margins.  Her humility and gentleness taught him to be the same.  Her inward shame for conceiving out of wedlock influenced his understanding of human weakness – and the vital importance to forgive.

The influence that a parent, particularly a mother, has on a child is often profound.  My daughters are versions of their amazing mom, just I am fortunate to be the product of my mom, who significantly shaped who I am today.

I recently read about the real life story of a man named Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah.  A documentary narrated by Oprah Winfrey has been made about his life.  He was born in the African nation of Ghana to very poor parents.  He was also born with one severely deformed leg – one that could not be used.  In Ghanian culture, a deformed child is seen as a curse and punishment upon the mother who, it is believed, caused the deformity by past sin.  Because of that belief, Emmanuel’s father abandoned his family soon after his son’s birth.

But Emmanuel’s mother did not abandon her other-abled son.  She loved him all the more.  She encouraged him as a child to adapt and overcome his disability – by getting an education.  At first, she carried him two miles to school every day.  Later, she taught him how to hop on one leg – and so thereafter Emmanuel hopped two miles to, and two miles from his school.

At age 13, his mother became very ill and he was forced to quit school to support her.  Most other-abled persons in Ghana were beggars but Emmanuel was determined to work – and so be began shining shoes, earning $2 a day.  When his mother passed, he resolved to not be stuck as a shoe shiner but to learn to ride a bike and be a delivery person.  He strapped his good foot into a pedal and thereby rode a bike and delivered packages.

After a doctor told Emmanuel about the US charity Challenged Athletes Foundation, he filled out a grant application for money to buy a better bike.  He received $1000 from the organization.  And with a new bike, he set out to raise funds to help other-abled people of Ghana by riding his bike across the 400 mile width of that nation.  His ride and inspirational talks attracted world-wide attention.  Nobody had ever seen someone ride a bike with one leg.   The Challenged Athletes Foundation invited him to California to participate in a bike race.  He did so and finished the 56 mile course in 7 hours.

The foundation also arranged for Emmanuel to have surgery on his deformed leg so that it could be fitted with a prosthesis.  With it, he was then able to walk, run, swim and bike using two legs.  He began regularly competing in triathlons as a way to raise awareness, and money, for other-abled persons.  He received an award for the Most Inspirational Athlete of the Year in 2003 and later was given the prestigious Casey Martin award to an exceptional athlete who has overcome physical, mental or cultural challenges.  Today, he is a worldwide ambassador and fundraiser for the other-abled.

And all of that is due, Emmanuel says, to the influence of his mother who died when he was still young.  Her love, her sacrifice for him, and her persistent encouragement that he learn, grow, and overcome his disability instilled in him the values he now lives by – and shares with the world.  “She gave me the idea that I could go to school and become a great man,” he told Sports Illustrated.

To the kids and young people here this evening, I hope you know the love your parents have for you.  For all the ways they annoy you or force you to do things you think are just awful, please understand they do so because they see greatness in you.  You are someone who will grow up to do awesome things for the world. 

For each of us adults, whether we are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle – or not, I trust we sense the tremendous privilege we each have to help shape a child’s life – not just by what we teach or say, but by how we lead our lives.  In that way, this congregation of parents and non-parents are models to the community – and more importantly to our youth.  All of you adults model to our youth how to be compassionate, kind and generous.

Like Mary, we can never know exactly who a young person will grow up to be.  But we can know youth look to us and our actions.  If we are true to our ideals, if we walk our talk, if we endeavor to be encouragers and activists, we will know our children, and the children of this city, will one day give sight to the blind, enable the lame to leap, and help heal the nations.

I wish all of you a Christmas of peace and joy!

(Go change into Santa outfit!)

    

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

 

Please click here to listen to the message.  See below to read it.

 

One-hundred and four years ago, on Christmas Eve 1914, World War One was five months old.  After Germany invaded France as a way to quickly win the war, fighting instead bogged down into a stalemate.  French and British forces dug hundreds of miles of trenches to stop the Germans – who in turn dug their own extensive trenches.  Those battle lines remained the same for another three years.  No side was able to win.

But that did not stop the killing.  Attempts to breech the lines were periodically tried.  Bombing, artillery barrages and poison gas were also used.  Meanwhile, multitudes of young men were killed or seriously wounded for no reason.  9 million soldiers died during the war.  21 million were injured.  The war to end all wars was one of mankind’s bloodiest.

Christmas Eve 1914 was cold and clear at the battle front.  Frost covered the ground as both sides prepared for another night of uneasy watchfulness.  Accounts of what happened next are varied but all are true.  At some point, troops on both sides spontaneously stopped shooting and instead began singing Christmas carols.  British troops sang out in English while the Germans listened, and then those roles reversed.  O’ Come All Ye Faithful was sung by the British, followed by the Germans singing Adeste Fideles.  The same happened with Silent Night and its German version – Stille Nacht.

British soldiers peered over the lines and saw the German trenches suddenly lined with candlelit Christmas trees.  Troops on both sides ventured into the no mans land between lines to gather and bury the dead.  Several started friendly soccer games between the two sides.  Still others observed the day and night with prayer and impromptu Christmas services – attended by all soldiers.  One British soldier described what happened to his squad: “We were met in no man’s land by four Germans, who said they would not shoot on Christmas if we did not. They gave our fellows cigars and a bottle of wine, and we gave them a cake and cigarettes.  All through the night we drank and sang carols together.”

Another soldier observed in his diary, “Really, you would hardly have thought we were at war.  Here we were, enemy talking to enemy.  They like ourselves with mothers, with sweethearts, with wives waiting to welcome us home again.  And to think within a few hours we shall be firing at each other again.”

An unofficial Christmas truce had been started not by politicians or generals, but by those most affected by war – average soldiers.  For many of them, the truce lasted all day and night.  For a lucky few, the truce extended until after New Year’s.  This Christmas Truce of 1914 has been depicted in film, opera, poem and song.  One haunting choir piece about the event ends with a plaintive question, “Why can’t all days be like Christmas Day?”

And that plea echoes the sentiment in the song Michael just sang about a much different human tragedy.  The song “Do They Know It’s Christmas” was written in 1984 and performed by an international group of famous pop singers.  The song was a hit and raised nearly $10 million dollars for African famine relief.  Today, the song is played during the holidays to remind us that suffering and hunger still affect many.  Let them know it’s Christmastime.  Feed the world.

For me, the song points out an unfortunate irony.  Huge amounts of charitable financial giving and volunteering occur between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  For several years, members of the former Gathering assembled as a group to serve at the Freestore’s annual holiday food basket give away. 

Freestore coordinators soon asked us, however, to stop our December volunteering.  With so many people wanting to help during the holidays, individual volunteers often have little to do – and that discourages people who came to help.  Better, the Freestore told us, to serve the rest of the year when giving and volunteering are not as common.  Because of so many good hearted volunteers, thousands of hungry people in Cincinnati do not have trouble knowing its Christmastime.

But during the rest of the year, many of those who experience food insecurity or homelessness ask the plaintive question young soldiers asked at Christmas 1914, “Why can’t every day be Christmas Day?”  Charity and kindness, it seems, is wonderfully expressed during the holidays – but too often forgotten afterwards.

I can’t, however, begrudge the fact that compassion is common in December.  That is at it should be.  What better way to celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or Diwali than to serve and give?  But the values of December holidays are not intended to be honored just a few weeks each year.  Christmas and other holidays are instead annual reminders that ethics of peace, charity, good cheer, and kindness are to be practiced every day.  If that were to truly happen, what an amazing world it would be!

The Jesus child, as Bible stories tell us, was born to a teenage mother from a poor and insignificant village.  There was no reason to believe Mary and Joseph’s firstborn would be great – much less one of the most influential persons in history.  The mythical story of Jesus’ birth nevertheless resonates thousands of years later precisely because it tells of his humble origins.  The one who taught breathtaking ideals of forgiveness, love for one’s enemies, sacrifice, service, and generosity was himself born on the margins of society.  There can be no better way to teach compassion than to have suffered oneself.

It was Jesus’ teachings, and the resonance of his birth story, that inspired young soldiers to stop their fighting for a few hours and come together not as enemies – but as brothers.  It’s that same story that inspires us to sing out “Feed the World” and then actually work to make that happen.  The stories and lessons about Jesus need not all be true to nevertheless have had a profound impact.

A few years after Jesus’ death, Paul – who wrote much of the New Testament, decided to leave Jerusalem and venture into areas where the story of Jesus was unknown.  Before he departed, however, leaders of the Jesus movement reminded Paul that while his evangelical intentions were good, he must always remember the poor.  They understood that the foundation of Jesus’ teachings was compassion to the sick and impoverished.  If God’s love is to have any meaning, it must be shown to all – and not just believers and those who choose to convert.

Paul, to his credit, followed that advice.  When he visited Corinth, a wealthy city at the tip of Greece, he found its early Christian churches to be highly exclusive.  They were like clubs comprised of people who believed themselves to be favored by God because of their wealth and good fortune.  Those of modest means were excluded from Sunday celebrations because they were seen as dis-favored by God.  Paul was appropriately shocked and demanded the exclusion stop.  The Bible says he scolded the Corinthians: “When you meet together, you are not really interested in Communion.  Many of you hurry to eat without sharing with others.  As a result, some go hungry while you get drunk.  Do you really want to humiliate the poor?” he asked.  Paul then reminded them that the heart of Jesus’ teachings was to love one another – to live in peace, share, encourage, and help.

Also in the Bible, Jesus’ brother James is said to have taught a vital lesson to people of ALL beliefs:  having spiritual faith in something is good – but it must be proven.  As James supposedly wrote, “What good is it if you say you have faith, but don’t show it by your actions?  Can that kind of faith save anyone?  Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing.  What good does that do?  Faith by itself isn’t enough.  Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”

James, in his letter, concludes by writing, “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God.  Anyone who loves others is a child of God and knows God.  But anyone who does not love others does not know God, for God is love.”

For me, that last phrase represents the entirety of what I believe.  No matter a person’s religion or no religion, the ultimate force for good in the universe is love.  And that ethic is ultimately what Christmas and all other December holidays are about.  We celebrate at this time of year a fictional account of Jesus’ birth.  But even though it may be myth, its lesson is not.  The Jesus child was born to teach love to all humanity.  If we want to know the meaning of life, we must love.  If we want to understand beauty and honest morality, we must love.  If we want to have peace in the world, and peace in our hearts and minds, we must love.

And that love is not the syruppy kind that has little impact.  Genuine love as taught by Jesus is nearly impossible to show.  It’s a love that is given unconditionally – no strings attached.  It’s a love that rejects human impulses for retribution, anger or bitterness.  We must love our enemies, we must love the filthy homeless person, the prisoner serving time in jail, the sick and elderly in nursing homes and hospitals, the other-abled who hunger for acceptance, the poor, hungry and despised of the world, the family member, stranger or fellow church member who has hurt us – or with whom we disagree. 

At this time of year, showing love to all others is almost mandatory.   The message of the holidays is the lesson we get from the song “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”  It’s the answer to the question soldiers asked at Christmas 1914, “Why can’t every day be Christmas Day?”  And that lesson is a simple one:

We must unite in peace.  We must feed the world.  We must love one another.  May we each heed these truths all year long – as if every day is Christmas Day.

I wish you very happy holidays filled with peace and joy…

For a brief talkback time, I will appreciate you sharing how you celebrate the ideals of Christmas now and throughout the year?

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

 

Please click here to listen to the message.  Please see below to read it.

 

With all of the young people doing this service – including Klarysa – I guess it’s time for an old guy to speak!  Even so, I’m very proud, on all of our behalf, in our youth and in our Music Director Michael Tacy – for today’s holiday music event! 

As we all know, Michael and GNH’s kids are this congregation’s future.  They are our legacy – and it’s their dreams and their beliefs that will help change this congregation – and change the world. 

In our kids, it’s easy to see a future where differences between people won’t be important.  Whether someone is black, brown, white, other-abled, gay, straight, male or female – such differences are not only welcomed by today’s youth – but I also think most kids don’t even think about them.  People are people and friends are friends – what is the big deal – many of them think.  Old white dudes like myself are fading into the past – and that’s a good thing.  Our kids, and millions more like them, will usher in a profoundly new and much better era.

And so, thank you to Michael…..and thank you to all of our kids for what they bring to this congregation and to our future.  You’re all awesome and everybody here loves you a lot.

In keeping with my theme this month to consider well known holiday songs – and how they can inspire us – I want us to also remember that many kids around the world don’t have the opportunities and advantages we have.

In 1945, a five year old hispanic boy came to New York from Puerto Rico with his eleven siblings and two parents.  They were desperately poor but were able to move in with relatives.  The five year old was blind and did not know English.  In school, he learned to read Braille and speak English – but music was the language he truly loved. At a young age, like our talented kids here, he created beautiful music using almost anything – rubber bands, spoons, or just tapping his feet.

At age 17 he quit school and began singing in small New York nightclubs.  His fame rose and, even though he was blind, he became a 1950’s version of Ricky Martin with thousands of adoring teenage fans.

In December 1970, this musician returned to Puerto Rico and was immediately reminded of that island’s culture, food, music and joy at Christmas.  A friend encouraged him to write a holiday song that would sing to both Hispanics and Anglos.  This musician grabbed a Puerto Rican guitar – a cuatro – and begin strumming some chords.  A few Spanish words came into his head and he soon had the beginning of a soon-to-be famous holiday song.  “Play on, Jose!” his friends told him.  Later, in a recording studio, he added more latin flavor to the song.  It was soon released and became an instant holiday hit.

Today, “Feliz Navidad”, the song this blind musician composed, is ranked eighth on the best selling holiday singles list.  Worldwide, it is in the top 25 of most played holiday songs.  Its singer and composer, as you know, is Jose Feliciano.  As he said about his youth, “Where else could a guy like me come from absolute poverty and be successful?  You know, it only happens in America.”

Feliciano’s youth as a poor immigrant boy is similar to another young boy some 2000 years ago.  Born in present day Israel, the Bible tells us that boy’s birth was such a threat to the tyrant dictator of the time, Herod, that the infant boy, his mother and father had to flee to Egypt to escape being killed.  Herod had ordered all young boys in Israel be killed – all to insure that the child born to be King of the Jews would not survive.  Jesus, like Jose Feliciano, was a poor child of color born into a hate filled world.

Sadly, Jose and Jesus remind us of the plight of thousands of other refugee children who today are separated from their parents and imprisoned simply for not being American.   Last Thursday, a seven year old migrant girl in detention died.  And even though children supposed to no longer be detained, recent reports from immigration services are that there remain over 15,000 children held in detention in the US.

This past June, the New York Times told the story of another migrant boy named Jose who was recently separated from his father after crossing the border.  Jose was sent to Michigan to live in detention.  He arrived there one rainy night clutching a small plastic bag of clothing – unwashed since he’d left Honduras over a month before.  In his hands he also tightly held two pictures he’d drawn – one of his arrested father, and one of his entire family…….which is now displayed for you to see.

Jose was so traumatized by being separated from his father and being held in detention that he cried himself to sleep for over a week.  Later, he began having nightmares while uttering moans in his sleep.  He ate little and refused to shower or change his clothes.  He was afraid his few possessions would be taken from him.  The only thing that brought a smile to his face was when he talked about his drawings – “Mi familia!” Jose proudly exclaimed.  One day, fire trucks with their sirens blarring pulled up to where he was living in Michigan.  “La violencia, la violencia!” he cried out.  Jose could not be consoled for a long time.  The sirens reminded him of the many dangers in Honduras where murders and forced recruitment of children into criminal gangs is common.

Over a month after Jose’s detention, he was able to speak by phone with his mother, still in Honduras.  His father was still in jail in the US for crossing the border without documents.  After the call, Jose became even more withdrawn.  He realized from the call that he would not soon see his family.  He was, and for all I know still is, a child held in detention by the United States.  He’s a modern day a modern day innocent child –  oppressed by hate and cruel indifference.

Jose Feliciano’s song “Feliz Navidad” is a tribute to the vitality of Hispanic culture and all that it has added to America.  It’s also a reminder that there is no “Feliz Navidad or Prospero ano y felicidad” for thousands of migrant children.  Our nation, which has always been a beacon to immigrants, is now imprisoning young migrant children and slamming the door shut on desperate people who seek only to work hard and build a new life.

I have no answers to the immigration issue.  The US cannot throw open its borders, but neither can it close its heart to Hispanic migrants who suffer  – people who live in poverty and fear for their lives due to conditions the US has historically helped cause.

To all of the youth here this morning, to all of us adults, may we be thankful for the opportunity to enjoy a Feliz Navidad.  The joys of this season are real and we should celebrate them as true blessings.  But in the midst of our celebrations, let us also remember our duty as members of the one human family to care for and serve the refugee, the hungry, homeless, poor and helpless children of the world.  As the Bible tells us Jesus poignantly once said, when we serve and love hurting children, we exemplify the heart of all that is true, right and good in the universe.

Thank you to our kids, their parents, and to Michael Tacy for a wonderful morning service.   I wish you all much peace and joy.

       (Introduce youth choir) as they sing “Africa” – a song to also help remind us of the purpose of the season.