Author: Doug Slagle

(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

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After the death of Alexander the Great in 312 BCE, his vast empire was split up.  The largest portion, one which extended from Greece to India, was called the Seleucid Empire.   That Empire included modern Israel.

The Seleucid culture was primarily greek with a worship of greek gods and goddesses, a focus on the arts, nature, sensuality, and the idealization of the human body.  Its culture and its values clashed with the Jewish culture of Palestine which worshipped only one god, followed a strict code of religious behavior, and was moralistic.

In 175 BCE, Antiochus Epiphanes became Emperor of the Seleucid empire.  Antiochus as a leader was arrogant, drunk with power, and highly irrational.  People of the time secretly referred to him as Antiochus Epimanes – instead of Epiphanes – as a play on words.  Epimanes means in Greek, “the crazy one.”

Unlike previous rulers of the Empire, Antiochus took it as a personal insult that Jews did not worship him, and statues of him, as a god.  That, of course, was something Judaism forbids since there is ostensibly only one god – Yahweh.  Antiochus was also angry when Jews, following their religious codes of conduct, protested against Greek cultural practices to exalt sensuality and the human body. 

In response, Antiochus had huge statues of himself and Zeus placed inside the Jewish Temple – the most sacred place in Judaism where it’s  believed Yahweh’s spirit dwells.  To add further insult, Antiochus ordered that pigs be slaughtered inside the Temple making it unholy since Jews avoid any contact with swine.  He also convened a huge olympic style athletic competition in Jerusalem which followed the Greek practice of competition while naked.

All of this was intolerable for the Jewish people.  Their High Priest tried to retake control of Jerusalem and the Jewish Temple.  Antiochus, in response, brought his Army to the city and began a massive slaughter of its citizens – what Jewish people still call the Abomination of Desolation – a term they have also applied to the Holocaust.

Judas Maccabeus, a young Jewish man, organized a small army to fight Antiochus.  Amazingly, after only a year of conflict, Judas and his army defeated Antiochus’ army and killed the Emperor.  And it is at this point that the traditional Hanukkah story begins.  

Joyous Jews rushed to their Temple to immediately restore its holiness after years of being defiled.  When they tried to relight its large menorah candelabra, they discovered there was only enough holy oil to keep it lit for a day – not nearly long enough to make and consecrate more.  But they lit it anyway and were amazed when it stayed lit for eight days – almost by a miracle.  This allowed them time to make more holy oil to keep it perpetually lit.  Every year afterwards, on the 25th day of the Hebrew calendar month of kislev, which is set according to moon phases, Jews celebrate their holiday of lights – also called Hanukkah. 

I’ve tried this month to find inspiration from December holidays around the world.  We’ve learned about St. Lucia day in Sweden which emphasizes the importance of being light in a world of dark nastiness.  We’ve also examined the Dongzhi Festival of China which celebrates the Winter Solstice and ideals of a harmonious, peaceful, and balanced Yin and Yang way of thinking.

For today’s look at Hanukkah, which begins this evening at sunset, I want to examine how it is specifically celebrated in Israel and what might inspire us from that.  Here in the U.S., American Jews celebrate the holiday differently than do Israeli Jews.

Significantly, Israelis repeatedly emphasize that Hanukkah is not a Jewish answer to Christmas – much like it can often seem that way in America.  In Israel, Hanukkah is honored, but it is NOT a major holiday.  Indeed, it took centuries for most Rabbis to even acknowledge the holiday since its story, while historical, is not included in the Jewish Scriptures – but it is surprisingly included in the Christian Bible.

A debate about Hanukkah in Israel is whether or not it is a religious holiday honoring a miracle of light, or a secular holiday remembering a victory over oppression.  Even more, there has been a strong pushback in Israel against the Americanization and commercialization of the holiday. 

In the early 20th century, American rabbis were concerned that Christmas was becoming culturally overwhelming for Jews.  It caused them,  and particularly their children, to feel torn between joining in the Christmas sprit, or being completely left out of parties, decorations, and gift giving.  The Christmas season was the one time a year when American Jews felt like outsiders in their own country.  And so American rabbis began promoting Hanukkah as an alternative December holiday for Jews.  They encouraged elaborate celebrations of the holiday by giving gifts on each night of Hanukkah, and celebrating each of the 8 evenings with festive parties and meals. 

In Israel, however, Hanukkah celebrations are far more subdued.  It’s a holiday and people leave work early on each of the eight nights, but they do so not to party, but to go home and be with family.  Gift giving is a very  minor practice and usually only one gift per person, if that, is received for the entire eight days.  One practice by some parents is to give children gelt – a yiddish word for money.  The practice began in the Middle Ages and children are encouraged to give a portion of what they receive to charity.  More common is to give youth gold foil chocolate coins instead of money.  Getting chocolate coins or money on Hanukkah represent receiving God’s miraculous love.

The emphasis for Israelis Jews is on celebrating light and goodness with one’s family or in small neighborhood groups.  Many blocks of houses or apartment buildings have communal menorahs which a few households gather around and light each night together.

For Hanukkah meals, foods cooked in oil are eaten – to remember the miracle of oil.  Jelly or custard filled doughnuts are the most popular food.  Latkes, or fried potato pancakes, are also eaten. 

Almost 80% of Israeli Jews – whether they are secular or religious – celebrate all eight days of Hanukah – indicating that Israelis take seriously the symbolic candle lighting ritual as one for reinforcing their beliefs. 

Most significantly to me, Israeli Jews purposefully put their menorah candles in a front window or, more commonly, in a glass box placed outside next to their house or apartment building.  Such a glass Hanukkah candle box is shown on the cover of your programs.  The desire is to publicly proclaim to the world that the family within is proudly Jewish, and that they believe in ideals of right behavior, defiance in the face of oppression, and honoring the goodness of universal love.

For me, that’s an ethic I want to better practice in my life.  How do I witness to the world values and beliefs I hold dear?

In ancient Rome, when Christians were persecuted and often killed for their faith, a common question was asked by believers to one another: “If you are arrested, is there enough proof in your life, and how you live, to convict you for being Christian?”  The question was a challenge:  just how strong and how committed are you to your beliefs?

If someone answered “yes, there is enough evidence to convict me,” it was sign they were courageous and committed despite the terrible risk.  In Nazi Germany and areas they conquered, soldiers used synagogue records of membership, bar mitzvahs, and weddings, as well as testimony from neighbors, to determine who was Jewish.  In other words, Jews who had openly practiced their beliefs were the most likely to be arrested, sent to concentration camps, and killed.

It’s that kind of courage many of us have never had to summon – to risk one’s life for one’s beliefs. 

In Israel today, where terrorist or rocket attacks from enemies are a constant threat, Jewish identity is in many ways a bold expression of their courage.  It’s for that reason that Israeli Jews literally let their light shine at Hanukkah as a way to express their commitment, and their trust, in good defeating hate.

By lighting their menorah lights and displaying them so publicly, Israeli Jews proudly proclaim their heritage, history, identity, and dedication to timeless values.  Despite suffering countless episodes of oppression throughout history, and enduring continual threats today, Israeli Jews celebrate Hanukkah as a way to remember and publicly state their ideals – that decency, modesty, charity, and faith are the right things to practice…….and that doing good is far better than just speaking good.  By publicly lighting Hanukkah candles, Israeli Jews, and many others, “walk their talk.”

For me, for all of us, that’s something that is both inspiring and challenging.  What principles do we stand for not just in here where it seems safe, but in the wider world where it is less safe?  Do we, in some public or symbolic way, proclaim our beliefs from our homes?  Does the way we treat others bear witness to our Unitarian Universalist ideal of showing dignity and worth to everyone – not just to those we like, but to those we don’t know or even dislike?  In other words, how am I courageously walking my talk?  How do I put into action what I say I believe? 

I imagine in many respects all of us try to behave consistent with what we believe.  We’re not perfect, just like few people are – but we belong to this UU church, and we share our time and money with each other and with charity and advocacy organizations, all in order to actually do what our hearts and minds believe.  But our challenge is to nevertheless continually better ourselves such that with each succeeding year, we increasingly live up to ideals of being kind, committed, accepting, generous, and peaceful.

What I want to do is publicly display my symbolic lights of belief in how I act in daily life.  If I believe in justice, if I believe in diversity, if I believe in always speaking and acting with compassion and empathy, then what am I doing to tangibly prove they are real?  Do all of my life actions bear witness to my heart – or am I perhaps the worst of sinners – a hypocrite?  That’s a challenging question for me and, forgive me, for each of you too.

I had the privilege to spend two weeks in Israel when I was in Seminary.  One of our church members recently returned from a trip there.  And so we recently shared our impressions of Israel – as an amazing nation of beautiful contrasts, of vibrant and happy people, and most of all, for me, is the courage and faith of its citizens in the midst of daily threats.

We face challenges in this nation too, but we don’t face the kind of existential threats Israelis do.  Canada and Mexico do not daily threaten to kill us all.  Many of Israel’s neighbors, who are only a hundred miles or less from their major cities, do that regularly.  That’s a threat much like the ancient Jews faced with Antiochus Epiphanes, and one that six million Jews experienced during the Holocaust.  It’s those kinds of dire challenges that have always defined the Israeli spirit – to be brave, to fight against oppression, and importantly to live true to their values.

In my comfortable life, in my dealing with far more modest difficulties, how can I be a similar light to family, community, and the world?  Let me, let us, be true to our beliefs and let us shine our small lights to help make a difference for good.   (pause)

One of the most haunting and beautiful tunes I know is the theme piece from the movie Schindler’s List.  It evokes the tragedy that has often been Jewish life, but it also has a spirit of persistence to it.  I asked Michael if he would play the piece for us and, while he does so now, I hope we each ponder our own commitments to ideals we cherish.  What do I stand for?  What do I tangibly do to practice my beliefs?  And, more so, what do I do to build peace, goodness, and kindness in a world with so much hate and anger?  Let us meditate, reflect, and enjoy Michael and Spencer’s beautiful music.   

(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Click here to listen to the message. See below to read it.

Sometime around 1500 BCE, ancient people living in today’s Britain finished an immense ring structure we know as Stonehenge.  They built a stone Temple that operated as both a place of worship and celestial clock.

On the day we know as June 20th, these ancients gathered to watch the sun rise exactly over what is known as the Heel stone marker of Stonehenge – a rock that faces northeast.  The sun’s rays then illuminated the exact center of the Stonehenge Temple.  This particular day’s sunrise heralded the longest period of daylight for the year,  or what we call the summer solstice.

Six months later on the date we know as December 21st, and exactly 180 degrees opposite the heel stone in the Stonehenge ring, the sun set exactly between two standing stones called the Sarsen stones.  This occurrence at Stonehenge is depicted on the screen.   That sunset marked the end of the shortest period of daylight for the year – or what we call the winter solstice.

Stonehenge was far more than just a 300 foot diameter ring of massive stones.  Experts believe it was the spiritual center for these ancient people.  It was where they worshipped and where they also kept track of eclipses, moon phases and, most importantly, annual seasons.  In addition to the ring of stone Temple, wooden posts marked a much larger outer courtyard ring that was the entry area into the sacred inner Temple.  A six foot deep trench extended through and then outward from Stonehenge that marked the diameter line between the summer and winter solstice stones.  It was used as a massive sundial so that the people could mark the days all year long.  And beyond the wooden ring structure was a burial ground surrounding the sacred place – much like people today bury their dead near places of worship.  And outside the burial ground was a large village in which thousands lived.

As a Temple, Stonehenge physically marked celestial events that have taken place since the universe was born – when the big bang exploded our sun star into its present position.  Drawn into the sun’s gravitational pull was the earth which then began its timeless orbit around it.  Because of an elliptical orbit and pull of the sun’s gravity, the earth rotates on a slight tilt – 23.5 degrees off center.  And it is that tilt that causes the earth to experience two solstice days – ones when the upper and lower hemispheres of the earth are either tilted the most away from the sun, or tilted the most toward it.

This coming Saturday, at exactly 11:19 PM, the earth’s northern hemisphere will be tilted the most away from the sun that it will ever get.  Balanced against that, at the exact same moment, the southern hemisphere of the earth will be tilted the most toward the sun.

What astronomers know now is that the earth and the sun operate according to laws of physics.   Ancient people, however, had no scientific understanding how the sun and earth operate in relationship to each other.  In their pre-scientific minds, supernatural gods controlled the cosmos and therefore the solstice days happened because of those gods.  The people believed they had to worship and express gratitude to the gods on in order to insure the sun and its vital light would return according to the precise harmony and balance they’d always observed.  Without sunlight, the ancients knew that all life would perish and so they anxiously awaited solstice confirmation that increasing darkness would end, and increasing sunlight would begin.

Would the gods act as they were supposed to – or would they be angry with people and refuse to renew the balanced cycle of seasons?  Such thinking led to the powerful spiritual significance given to Solstice days – particularly the Winter Solstice since it marks the darkest, and thereby perhaps the most frightening, day of the year.

I mentioned last Sunday that I’m using my message series this month to look at seasonal holidays around the world.  Last Sunday we learned about and celebrated Saint Lucia Day in Sweden and its themes of light and dark.  Today, I want to look at the Dongzhi Festival of China which happens this Saturday and is a holiday that celebrates the Winter Solstice.  Next Sunday, we’ll consider Hanukkah as it is celebrated in Israel.  And, on Christmas Eve, we’ll look at inspiring lessons from Christmas and Kwanzaa in the US.

The Dongzhi Festival is considered the second most important holiday in China – after their New Year.  Translated literally, Dongzhi means “extreme of winter,” which is exactly what it honors – the shortest and often the coldest daytimes of the year.  Ancient Chinese, like their contemporaries at Stonehenge, believed the Winter Solstice was a day on which to worship and give thanks.  For them, the two solstice days perfectly represented their spirituality.  According to the ancient philosopher Confucius, everything operates in harmony and complimentary balance.  The two solstice days – each six months apart, symbolize this harmony that exists in all things.  All of the universe operates in a kind of gentle coexistence.  Dark and cold, for instance, blends into light and warmth in an unending harmonious cycle.

This philosophy is what the Chinese call Yin and Yang harmony.  Opposites, like summer and winter solstices, operate not in competition, but rather in a synchronized coexistence.  Life is a continual interplay between opposites – between up and down, in and out, male and female, joy and sadness, peace and war, life and death, Yin and Yang.  In that regard, the Dongzhi Festival is a celebration of Chinese beliefs – how harmony, balance, coexistence, and cooperation are the essential ethics by which people should live.

For the Chinese, Yin and Yang opposites define each other.   For example, dark defines light.  We cannot understand light unless we also understand its absence.  That is the same between love and hate, male and female, conflict and peace.  An old Chinese saying states: “When people see things as beautiful, ugliness is created.  When people see things as good, evil is created.  Being and non-being produce each other.  Difficult and easy complement each other.  Long and short define each other.  High and low oppose each other.  Fore and aft follow each other.”

What this means is that the Chinese believe nothing is absolute.  Nothing is totally good or bad, dark or light, up or down.  There is blending and a mix of both.  Everything is interdependent such that opposites need the other in order to be understood.  As one thing increases, the other decreases.  That continuous flowing does not end, but rather cycles back again.   This, the Chinese believe, is how the natural world functions and it is best exemplified by the June and December Solstices.  

And such harmony in the universe is an example for the Chinese – and us – for how to live.  Work diligently but take time to rest.  Eat hearty  but also fast and don’t eat in excess.  Accept challenges and difficulties as parts of life, but also try to learn and find good from them.  Be yourself if you are a man and express masculinity, but do not stifle the parts of you that are feminine.  In warmth, appreciate cold.  In death and dying, celebrate life.  In the totality of all experiences, be harmoniously balanced because that is how the universe operates.  We are to be centered, flexible and aware that life is lived in the so-called grey zone – nothing is perfectly good, right, or just. Like the universe, things exist in harmony or Yin and Yang.  They are about finding peace and contentment in a complex universe of opposites.

Such harmony is understood pictorially by the Yin and Yang circular symbol – which you can now see on the screen.  The white portion of the image circle flows and eventually blends into the black.  We also see a black dot in the middle of the white area – just as there is a white dot in the middle of the black.  For the Chinese, this exemplifies how life and the universe function.  Applied to the two solstices, the longest and shortest days of the year merge into the other.  They are not opposed to one another, but rather supportive and part of the other.  Yin and Yank call us to be the same – in blended coexistence with one another. 

Instead of advocating extremes of opinion that often oppose other extreme opinions, according to Confucian thought we are to yield to one another’s thoughts and assimilate them into our own.  In other words, don’t compete, but understand and cooperate.  Find ways to live in a way that allows you to be a part of other lives and all of nature – just as they are a part of you.

The Chinese Dongzhi Festival is therefore a festival founded on the Yin and Yang philosophy.  Nothing in nature better represents harmony than the balance of summer and winter, light and dark, warm and cold.  For the Dongzhi Festival, people celebrate its ideals by putting on new clothing, leaving work earlier than normal, giving gifts to family, and then festively eating and drinking into the long night.

In southern China, people celebrate Dongzhi by eating a symbolic food consisting of sweet white rice balls filled with salty sesame paste – representing the Yin of spice blended into the Yang of sweet.  In Beijing and northern China, people eat dumplings or flour shells filled with seasoned meat and boiled in broth.   Tradition has it that a doctor working during the Han Dynasty around 200 BCE prescribed dumplings to help fight the chill of winter that often hurts people’s exposed ears.  Chinese dumplings were therefore shaped like ears – and still are – to symbolize acceptance of cold and hardship.

The lesson from China’s Dongzhi celebration, for me, is to accept the Yins and Yangs of life with calm.  When we find ourselves in disharmony, we need to gently but purposefully restore balance.  Too much of even good things is ultimately harmful and so we must be thankful for bad times all so we can know and understand happiness.  

That’s a primary reason cultures all over the world have historically celebrated the Winter Solstice – a day when people could, if they were pessimistic, mourn the darkness.  In ancient times, huge feasts were held because farmers usually slaughtered and cooked most of their livestock knowing they could not grow enough animal feed in the coming winter.  That would seem a risky and scary thing to do but, at Stonehenge, experts believe the Winter Solstice was a day of worship and of celebration – both fearing and praying against the dark, while celebrating and thanking the gods for their blessings.  If we think about, we ought to do the same.

In China, the day is a time to be reminded of nature’s balanced intricacy.  The universe does not act chaotically, but instead offers assurance and regularity.  Winter, especially in ancient times, was difficult  but it also heralded the goodness of Spring and Summer.  Death in winter and in life is not an end, but a beginning.  It is this continual cycle of dying and birthing that should bring comfort to everyone – and a model for life.  Be centered.  Be at peace.  Cooperate.  Coexist.  Embrace opposites by not choosing either extreme.

This Chinese or eastern spirituality is very different from western spirituality.  For many in the west, there exists absolute good or evil and that has led many to often see other people or things in extremes.  Someone is either saint or sinner.  An idea is either just or it’s immoral.   What that can cause is a failure to empathize and understand the complexity of people and of viewpoints.  It seems that people the world over need to better reflect on life being a mix of good and bad, just and unjust, beautiful and homely, male and female, light and dark, conservative and liberal, theist and atheist.  Much like the Winter and Summer Solstices are not total opposites, but rather blend into the other, I encourage thought about Yin and Yang philosophy and how we are called to live in harmony, balance, peace, and cooperation with everything. 

I wish you each, this coming Saturday at 11:19 PM, a happy and harmonious Winter Solstice moment, and a joyful Dongzhi Festival day.             

(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

On June 5th, 1944, at 9:30 in the evening, at an airbase north of London, 200 paratroopers took off in unarmed C-47 planes.  The paratroopers had been told their mission only hours before.

The planes, with no navigation lights, headed east across the English Channel.   They flew at an altitude of 300 feet.  Soon, the planes came across a vast armada of thousands of ships – none of them with navigation  lights either.

The paratrooper planes later encountered small civilian boats that flashed green lights – letting the planes know they were on course.  Soon, the pilots saw below them the waves and beaches of Normandy, France.  They also began to run into heavy clouds which obscured their view of the ground.  And, enemy anti-aircraft fire soon erupted

Within minutes, red lights flashed in the cargo holds of the planes alerting the 200 paratroopers it was time to jump.  One by one they stepped out into the propeller blast and pitch black sky.  They were quickly  jolted upward as their parachutes engaged.  The paratroopers drifted 600 feet to the totally dark ground.  They were the first Allied troops in France in over four years and the very first combat soldiers of D-Day – one of the most important events of the Twentieth Century.

Once on the ground, they carried out their mission to set up small beacon lights that pinpointed landing zones for the thousands of paratroopers from the 101st Airborne Division who would soon follow.  These first 200 paratroopers were called “Pathfinders” – soldiers who brought light into darkness to guide the way for good things to happen.

My plan this December is to highlight seasonal holidays from around the world – from Sweden, Norway, Denmark, China, Israel and the United States.  I hope to learn more about the various cultures and also glean from the holidays inspiration for my life and perhaps for yours as well.

Today, I’ll consider Saint Lucia Day that’s celebrated in Sweden, Norway and parts of Denmark.  The holiday falls on December 13th which was the winter Solstice on the old Roman calendar.  St. Lucia day, this year, is this coming Friday.

Lucia is said to have lived in Rome during the late third century CE. During her life, Lucia practiced her Christian faith by helping the poor and oppressed.  Like all young women of the time, she’d been given a dowry of money which would go to the man who agreed to marry her.  Lucia, however, had figuratively married herself to Christ – and so she asked her mother if she could give away her dowry to the poor – which she then did.

Lucia became especially well known for bringing food, water,  blankets, and comfort to thousands of Christians who hid from religious persecution in the catacomb caves beneath Rome.  In order to use both her arms and hands to carry as much food as possible, she wore candles affixed to her head to light the way through dark passageways.  After helping and feeding oppressed people for many years, she was captured and then burned alive – becoming one of the earliest Christian martyrs.  She was later made a Saint by the Catholic Church.

While the story of Lucia has likely been embellished for religious purposes, word of her actions and her martyrdom eventually reached far from Italy and into Sweden and Norway.  It’s theorized the Vikings, who traveled extensively by ship, heard of her story and brought it home with them.

For people who lived in the northern latitudes and who annually face a long winter of near total darkness, Lucia’s story struck a chord.  On the shortest day of the year, when darkness seems to overwhelm everything, Scandinavian people nevertheless celebrate the expectation that the sun will shine again.  Saint Lucia is thus a symbolic harbinger of hope and light.

Even today, when the true winter solstice takes place on December 21st, Scandinavians still celebrate St. Lucia day on December 13th – the old winter solstice date.  The holiday is marked by festive meals with food and wine.  The highlight of each meal is when women and girls dressed all in white, to symbolize St. Lucia’s purity, enter a darkened room wearing wreaths with candles affixed to them.  In today’s times, women wearing white also symbolize female empowerment and the true goodness women have in a world with too much male generated darkness.  

The St. Lucia’s also distribute trays of sweets – intended to symbolize the good that will come.  They are the first in all of Scandinavia to usher in the December Holiday season.  They are pathfinders bringing light into a dark world. 

I earlier said that June 6, 1944, D-Day, was one of the most important events – if not THE most important event – of the 20th century.  That is not an overstatement.  It’s easy to understand the importance of what the pathfinder paratroopers and hundreds of thousands of fellow soldiers did that day.  Had their mission failed, had the Allied invasion of Nazi occupied Europe failed, human history and our own lives would be very different.

Even more, it’s easy to understand the proverbial darkness people living at the time must have felt.  Millions were being slaughtered in the name of Nazi racism.  The entire world was in the grip of a psychopathic demagogue bent on universal domination.  We see echoes of the same today and yet the situation was much, much worse in 1944.   Those who believed in decency and democracy could well have given up hope.  And yet they did not.  

Such resilience and hope is a message for me and perhaps all of us.  But more than just being a good message, it is also historical fact that darkness and evil has always existed in the world.  Humanity has always faced difficult times – many of which were far more terrible than what people face today.  Think of the Bubonic plague that killed 50 million people in the 14th century – with no treatment available and thus no knowledge of what caused it.  Think of what former slaves endured in their cruel existence on slave ships, or laboring in sweltering cotton fields.  Think of the hundred years war in Europe when that continent was continually riven by conflict, chaos and death.  In this nation, think of the Civil War when 750,000 soldiers were killed and half a million wounded or, think of the great depression when our parents or grandparents – and indeed the entire nation – faced complete ruin.  In each and every case, forces of light and courage did not give into to the dark.  Light, love and good have always eventually won.  And they will again.   

Most of the December holidays around the world are known by their celebration of light.  Indeed, that’s a hallmark of the winter solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa holidays.  They each celebrate light as symbolic of love, generosity, justice, and peace illuminating a dysfunctional world.  And St. Lucia day is no different except that it implicitly calls those who celebrate the holiday – and all of us who now learn about it – to be Saint Lucia’s ourselves.  We are to be pathfinders of hope and goodness in a world filled with hurt, oppression and looming threats.

The reminder for me, therefore, is that darkness and evil are ever present.  They existed two-thousand years ago and still do today.  Far more humbling for me, however, is the awareness that darkness is within me too.  The imperfections, pain and hurt in the world are a reality precisely because they usually come from humanity.  People are too often indifferent, angry, hateful, and cruel.  They can also be judgmental, hypocritical, and unjust.  How is it possible humans can celebrate holidays of goodness and light when there is so much darkness lurking in human hearts – including our own?  Indeed, I can easily point out concerns I have about darkness in the world, but I too easily overlook the darkness in myself.  

After learning about St. Lucia, my question is this: how can I be a pathfinder, a modern St. Lucia, in how I live?  How can I bring joy, peace, kindness and hope to everyone I encounter?  How can I be calm, courageous and filled with joy – all so that whatever dim l light I do project will offer warmth and comfort?

For me, being a pathfinder – someone who brings light into darkness – means I must first face my own darkness – areas in me where I hold grudges, nurse lingering anger, or form judgmental attitudes.  Such parts of me go against my desire to be more empathetic and kind.  The battle between light and dark is one fought in me – just as it is in the larger world.  And so I must daily resolve to be a light – to be a person of understanding and love despite my baser impulses.  I need to purposefully remember the small flicker of a pilot light deep in me – so that I may use it to summon my better angels.

Second, I believe the December holidays are annual reminders to step into the light.  And for me, that means not falling prey to the false December lights of indulgence, selfishness, and cynicism.  Evil seems to have a sinister way of making itself appear as light, when it is not.  Commercialization, greed, and over-emphasis on lavish parties and gifts during this season can too often become versions of false light.  They seduce us into thinking they are the reason for the season when the true lights of December holidays are far more eternal and beneficial.  

The winter solstice holiday is about the persistence of hope.  Hanukkah is about courage and optimism.  Christmas is about gentleness, forgiveness and humility – the seemingly weak things of this world being ironically very strong.  Kwanzaa is about justice, unity and equality.  All of these holidays are not celebrated for the sake of profit and overindulgence.  They instead emphatically tell us to literally become lights, to be pathfinders, to be Saint Lucias.  If there is to be light in this world, let it begin in me – with words and actions of empathy, forgiveness, love, and peace.

And if I am to be those things, then I must third, summon both the courage and the will to bring light into dark places.  I must learn to love those who hate, forgive those who attack, empathize with those who are angry, comfort those who are unwashed, and make peace with those whom I disagree.  It’s always good to be kind to family and friends.  It is far more challenging to venture into the figurative catacombs of today – prisons, homeless shelters, or the places where people I disagree with are.  I so often lament the lack of civility and kindness in our culture and yet I often don’t go out of my way to spread them or practice them in symbolically dark places. 

And darkness does indeed close around us.  Everywhere we look we perceive it.  And yet Saint Lucia Day and other December holidays tell us that it need not be so.  I believe the single greatest thing we can each do, the single most influential task we can accomplish this holiday season and in the new year beyond, is to illuminate our own small areas of influence.  To all whom we encounter, let us be a hope filled Saint Lucia.  Let us be courageous Hanukkah candle lighters.  Let us be forgiving and kind Christmas babes in a manger.  Let us be Kwanzaa lovers of justice and unity.  Let us, in all the ways we speak, act and think, be St. Lucia pathfinders of light and hope and love.

I wish you all much peace, joy, hope and light…

Michael begins piano background music.

St Lucias enter.

        In the darkness of this room, in a world filled with so much hate, violence, and heartache, now comes light.  Brought by young women dressed in white, the light comes in peace.  These young women come with hope for their lives, for us, and for the world. May we take a moment now to give thanks for forces of light in our midst and in our world.  And may we ponder how to symbolically take the light here now and make it our own.  Let us reflect, ponder or pray for universal light, hope and love. (Pause)

        And now, with real and figurative light in the room, let’s celebrate!  The St Lucias will now put down their candles and bring you treats that represent the good in each of you and in our world.  To celebrate this Swedish holiday, let’s turn to music from the Swedish band Abba – let’s celebrate to the tune of Dancing Queen!

(c) All Rights Reserved, Michael Tacy

Click here to listen to the message.

(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

A minister began her message by asking the congregation to raise their hands if any of them have enemies.  Many hands went up.  She then asked folks to raise their hands if they had just a handful of enemies.  Fewer hands went up.  She asked how many had only one or two enemies.  Very few raised their hands.  Finally, she asked if anyone had no enemies.  Only one hand went up – that of an older man seated in the back.

“Sir,” the minister said,“that is wonderful and it is testimony to your goodness.”

“Well,” said the man in a gruff voice.  “I’m 98 and I’ve outlived all my enemies.  The bastards are all dead!”

I love this story because it illustrates that it is virtually impossible to live, and not have at least a few people dislike you – or who you dislike.  Maybe you did something long ago that hurt someone and you’ve tried to reconcile.  Or maybe someone just doesn’t like your personality or disagrees with you politically.  Whatever it is, I would be surprised if anyone does not have at least one so-called enemy.

Having enemies has always been upsetting to me – even as I know I’ve done my share to hurt or disagree with others.  But what is most difficult is how I respond to people who are my so-called enemies.  I struggle with how to NOT return dislike with dislike – what Dr. Martin Luther King asked of his followers.

One of the teachings from Jesus is that we are to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and do good to those who hate us.  That’s an amazing request and one some folks would say even he did not always practice.  He called his opponents a brood of vipers, and he often angrily confronted the greedy, selfish, and mean-spirited.  Even so, he taught that when someone hurts you, you should turn the other cheek.  That doesn’t mean to offer your other cheek to also be figuratively slapped, but rather to turn away and not respond in kind to their hurtful actions.  In other words, when someone does something that causes hurt, don’t do the same to them and instead respond with understanding and even kindness.

That principle also includes forgiveness.  Indeed, responding to a hurtful action with kindness is a way to forgive.  And that’s why so many forms of spirituality ask us to forgive.  Jesus taught that we are to forgive someone a thousand times over if they continually hurt us.  That doesn’t mean to be a doormat.  One should have boundaries for what one will accept from another.  But boundaries are not hateful words or striking back.   Boundaries are simply ways to declare to another, “I forgive you, I won’t hold anger in my heart, but I will establish ways to prevent you from hurting me again.”

The overall ethic is to love everyone.  And how we love those who hurt us, or who do and say things that go against what we believe, that’s a very, very, very difficult thing to do.  It’s something we must constantly strive to achieve.

And that ideal of loving all – even enemies – comes from a theological concept called “imago dei” – latin for “in the image of god.”  The Jewish and Christian scripture entitled the Book of Genesis says that when god created humanity, she made people in her image.

This means that god imparted in people all of her attributes – the abilities to reason, love, be creative, self-aware, and exercise free-will.  In many ways, most religions believe we were, and are, created to be like the gods or goddesses of myths.

God making us in her image, as the Genesis myth says, indicates her desire to be connected to us through shared similarities.  She wants us be like her and exist like her in all of her glory and goodness.  In other words, everything that is great and moral about her is also great and moral about us.  And most importantly, imago dei demands that if any Jew or Christian does not love all other people, they implicitly do not love god since her image is in every person.

As Unitarian Universalists, we may not believe in a literal god.  But we do believe that whatever it is that created humanity, perhaps evolution, it made us special, unique, and good.  At least here on earth, humans are alone in the ability to do profound goodness.  We can be – and we many times are –  just as we imagine a god would be.  We can give sacrificially, we can love abundantly, we can be kind, gentle, peaceful and forgiving.  We have the truly unique ability to do and say breathtakingly good things.

Most importantly, we as Unitarian Universalists also believe that just by being, just by existing, every single person has inherent worth and dignity.  That is the very first thing UU’s hold as true – the first of our seven principles.  By itself, the first Principle and the concept of imago dei prove our inherent goodness because we hold as a belief the dignity and worth of everyone – including in our enemies.

And the key word in the First Principle is “every”.  We say to the world that we don’t just value those who agree with us, or those who are like us, or those who say nice things about us.  We believe in the worth and dignity of white supremacists, warmongers, criminals, and corrupt or sexist politicians.  In sum, we say we love our friends and we crucially love our enemies.  Our first Principle is an amazing statement and it rightfully is the foundation for everything we as Unitarian Universalists do and say.

When I served eighteen years ago as an Associate Minister in my first church, where I learned much of what it takes to be a Minister, I led many volunteer service trips in the US and abroad.  It was part of my portfolio of responsibilities because I not only had to organize and oversee the trips, I had to be a speaker in the small meetings we held each night on the trips.

At any rate, we traveled to New Orleans to help clean out flooded homes after Hurricane Katrina.  We traveled to and worked in Appalachia areas of Kentucky.  We worked in southern Mexico rebuilding a church, and we built multiple small homes in a town just south of the US-Mexico border.  We visited rural Belize three times building schools and houses – while also running medical clinics there with nurses and doctors from my church.

But the two most impactful trips for me were to Haiti where we helped build a medical clinic.  I’d seen poverty in the US and in Mexico, but nothing compared to the poverty I saw in Haiti.  It is listed as one of the three poorest nations in the world.  Many of its people live in unspeakable conditions – far worse than how farm animals live in the US.  There are vast areas of crude huts built side by side and teeming with hundreds of thousands of desperately poor people dressed in rags.  Raw sewage and garbage are everywhere.  The smell in these areas is horrible and overwhelming.  Schools and health clinics don’t exist.  Crime and disease are pervasive.  AIDS, for one, is a scourge in Haiti for men, women and children – and it still is since almost nobody can afford the drugs that have now made AIDS in the US a very manageable condition.

One day we visited a small care facility run by American nuns.  It was a home for infants who had contracted AIDS from their mothers in the womb, or during birth.  All of the children had been abandoned by their parents out of fear of the disease, and because they could not care for them.

During the visit I was handed an infant girl to hold.  The child was very thin and weak.  She had huge wide eyes – eyes that seemed even larger because of her emaciated face.  She didn’t cry or wimper but she just lay in my arms, mouth open, and she stared up at me.  I cradled her and brought her close in a feeble attempt to offer some comfort.  And I could not help but begin to cry.  Thinking of that moment still brings tears.

The girl was just one of many in the facility, but the way she stared at me was both haunting and deeply moving.  As much as I cried for her suffering, I realized later I cried because as I looked at her, she looked up at me – and I felt in some strange way the presence of god or of the divine.  I felt I was seeing the imago dei in her and she was somehow seeing it in me – as undeserving as I am for that.  

To see her suffering was for me to see god and understand the unconditional love the god force has for all people.  I say that even though I don’t believe in a literal god.  But I do believe that that girl represented all that is sacred in the universe – an innocent and hurting child representing innocent and suffering people everywhere.  And when women like the nuns who cared for those children, when we or anyone else serve similarly  hurting youth, we are honoring and loving all that is sacred.  Within pain, sadness and unfairness is holiness because it is impossible not to feel love when so confronted.  Love for these children, and love for what motivates people to sacrificially serve the weak, lame, dying, poor and marginalized is in so many, many ways love for the great force in the universe that created everything – be that god, capital “T” Truth, or the unifying force of everything.  All those can be defined with one phrase: god is love – and love is god.

Love is the imago dei implied in our First UU Principle that sees inherent worth both in wealthy founders of high tech companies – and in dying infants with AIDS.  It’s the power that respects both charity volunteers – and billionaire politicians who own golf courses, mansions, and solid gold toilets.  Love is the emotion we have both for family members and friends – and also for those who demean, hate or attack us.  Without love, we are nothing.  With love, we are everything. 

And so as cliche and trite as it might be, I suggest we cannot be Unitarian Universalists unless we endeavor to love everyone by seeing their inherent worth and dignity.  This gets at what I mentioned earlier and what all world religions believe.  None of us, none of us, can say we are good, caring, moral, and justice seeking people unless we do our very best to love ALL others.  How we put that into practice is a great question we each must ponder.  And pondering it is something I encourage for us all.  I humbly suggest love begins with seeing the UU version of the imago dei in everyone – their inherent worth and dignity.  Love is sacrificial service, it is kindness, it is admitting one’s own flaws, it is forgiving, it is gentleness, it is truth telling, it is generosity, it is the humility it takes to care for those we dislike, disagree with, or who hurt us.

And so dear friends, in just a moment I’ll ask you to reflect on what I’ve said and particularly on finding love, dignity and worth even in people who may be your enemy.  And then, I encourage you to write on the card found in your programs a note to someone who might be your enemy and tell them about the dignity you see in them, and the worth and the worth they have as a person.  Send it, email it, or give it to the person today or later.  Do this for more than one person if you wish.  And, please, don’t justify your past angry feelings for the person, defend yourself, or in any way rebuke or correct the person.  What I hope you will do is just express love and have that be the so-called lesson you impart.  I also hope each and every one of us will truly consider what it means to say kind things about even our enemies.  And perhaps this exercise will linger in our minds and in our hearts so that we will do our best to practice the UU First Principle and truly begin to see and feel the dignity and worth in everyone – and thereby show our love.

Please begin to reflect on my message and write on your cards if you wish.  Michael and Les will play some soft background music during this time.

I wish you each much peace and joy.   

(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills

Click here to listen to the message. See below to read it.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…”

As you may know, I just quoted from the opening lines of Charles Dickens’ novel A Tale of Two Cities in which he contrasts the hope of well-off Parisians with the hopelessness of Paris’ poor.

His contrast between two totally different cultures – ones that were worlds apart but nevertheless living side by side, is strikingly similar to today’s conditions in America and especially in our education system.  It is very easy to see the stark differences in how children from well-off communities are educated – and how those in poor rural or urban areas fare. 

A “Tale of Two Schools” in America would highlight such differences.  The disparity between some schools is shocking and, like Dickens’ novel, illustrates the divide not only between rich and poor, but between avenues to future success that our nation provides advantaged and disadvantaged children.

Massachusetts was the first colony and state to initiate free public education for all youth.  State officials believed that it is in the public interest to freely educate every child – all the better to build an informed and skilled citizenry.  Thomas Jefferson supported the idea of public education for all that is paid for with taxpayer dollars.  His support began the creation of schools for all children – ones near their homes and paid for with property taxes.

That practice of paying for schools with taxes on local real estate continues today.  But the outcome of that system often means that schools in neighborhoods with low property values do not have the same advantages as schools in high value areas.  

In 1997, the Ohio Supreme Court ruled that property tax funding of schools in Ohio is unconstitutional since Ohio’s constitution says that the state shall establish common schools for all youth.  And “common” is the key word.  The Ohio Supreme Court has ruled several times that the word “common” implies all schools shall offer roughly equal education opportunities and resources.

But, as we know, schools throughout the nation might be equal in their standards and in many cases their budgets, but they are far from equitable in the opportunities they provide.

Wealthy suburban schools often have amazing resources – computers for each student in every classroom, large and well-equipped science labs, abundant libraries, extensive multi-media and sports facilities, experienced teachers with masters degrees or more, and a full range of classes offered to students of every ability.  Even more, children living in well-off communities have educated parents who appreciate the importance of education.  They not only have spent countless hours reading to and teaching their children, they continue that support until their kids are grown. 

Poorer urban and rural schools are often entirely different places.  They struggle just to maintain a reasonably decent building – paint and plaster crumble, walls are covered with graffiti, libraries are non-existent, technology is limited, and teachers are overworked and often buy their own supplies.  There are few classes and resources available for gifted students,. or those in need of extra support.

Added to that situation is the culture in which less well-off students live.  Their parents are often poorly educated and often struggle just to provide food and shelter.  Many youth come from broken homes, are effectively homeless, or live with a grandmother who herself is overwhelmed.  Such kids have few of the family resources well-off kids enjoy.

Recently, governments have begun a push to increase budgets for poor schools in order to make them equal to the per pupil funding in wealthier schools.  But establishing equality in funding has not produced equal outcomes.  A huge majority of students in wealthy districts proceed on to college.  A very small minority do so from poor districts.  

The result is a perpetuation of class divisions in America.  Children  born to well-off parents are given the resources, at home and in school,  that allow them to get educations which then enrich them as adults – and the cycle of wealth continues.  In poor districts, children don’t have families that value education, they usually don’t graduate from High School, and they are thus relegated to unemployment, prison, or low income jobs.  And the cycle of poverty continues.

That results in a paradox that confounds politicians.  Roughly equal amounts of per pupil spending is becoming more common.  Locally, Cincinnati Public Schools ranks number three out of 25 area school districts in per pupil spending.  It recently spent millions to dramatically remodel or build new school buildings.  But it has been given a ‘D’ performance grade.  Indian Hill Schools per pupil spending is number one in the area but it is not far off that of Cincinnati Public.  But it has an ‘A’ grade in performance.  The two districts have similar spending per student, but the outcomes are very different.  

There are many reasons why that is so but I submit that EQUAL  spending per pupil is inherently unfair and INEQUITABLE to students in poor districts.  And that, I believe, is one reason why Unitarian Universalists support their Second Principle of “Justice, equity and compassion in human relations.”  And I trust you will note that the principle does not call for equality in human relations but rather equity.  

Here is a pictorial representation of what I suggest in my message this morning.  Equality does not mean the same thing as equity.  In the picture, giving the already tall boy a box to stand on gives him even greater advantages to see the game.  It’s much like the spending given to youth in Indian Hill.  They begin schooling having already been given tremendous life advantages.  Giving one box to the short or disadvantaged child does not help him much.  Much like children from poor school districts, he began life with few advantages.  

And so, to be equitable in human relations, that child should receive double or more the resources than already advantaged kids have.  Indeed, it’s likely that students in Indian Hill should receive much reduced per pupil spending – all in order to create a society that is based on equity and fairness of opportunity.

Here is another slide that illustrates my point – one which most of us can relate to since we have likely run in – or watched – a track race.  All running tracks are oval in shape and have several lanes within the oval.  Simple geometry means the outside lane in an oval track is the longest.  Inside lanes are shorter.  How do we hold a race with runners in each lane that is fair and equitable?  Those in outside lanes must start ahead of those on inside lanes.

To complete the analogy, disadvantaged kids should begin their race, or educations, way ahead in terms of resources given to them.  They will still need to meet the same standards – or run the same distance – as well-off kids.  But they will have been given sufficient resources so that they too have a fair chance to win at life.

A “Tale of Two Schools” comparison is effective because it can help us empathize with the struggles of disadvantaged kids.  And empathy is a direct result of compassion.  Having compassion for disadvantaged kids leads me, at least, to want equity for them.  I personally want a lot of my tax money to go to them – all so they can succeed and the cycle of their poverty be broken.  I empathize with such children and want fairness for them.  And I want very little of my tax money to go well-off kids – not because I want to punish them – indeed its not their fault they were born to well-off parents, but because I know they already have many advantages.

That’s a spiritual ethic taught in most world religions.  Jews, Christians, and Muslims believe in the ethic that to whom much is given, much is required.  That does not mean a well off person must give up all that they worked hard to have.  It does mean that with blessings come responsibilities.  That’s a law of life.  Our purpose is to use our advantages to help others.

If we feel empathy for the disadvantaged, and if we seek equity for them, then we will hopefully create justice in our land.  For me, justice means everyone has approximately similar opportunities – equity in our legal system, equity in access to good healthcare, equity in job applications, and equity in education opportunities.

As we know, that will not create equal outcomes for everyone since each person uses opportunities given them in different ways.  Some are born with different skill sets.  Others are born with different personalities and thus have different work ethics.  But if life is like a track race, then people born with few advantages must be allowed to begin the race way ahead – all in order to make the race fair.

I admit to some embarrassment at the many advantages I was given just because I won a lottery of birth to educated and well-off parents.  I try to use my advantages in ways that help others – and I hope some of my inner guilt gives me empathy for those with far less.  I’m in awe of people like my partner Keith who was born into a working class family with minimal finances.  He began life attending mostly poor, urban schools.  But with few advantages, without the finances to attend college, he educated himself and with hard work is now at the top of his computer science field.

Our Second Principle is, in my mind, brilliant.  It perfectly states the idea behind a fair society.  It does not support the idea of equal outcomes for all – what communism is.  That system believes everybody should be given similar incomes, housing, and benefits.  It removes any incentive to learn and work hard.  Instead, the UU Second Principle supports the notion that with equitable capitalism, hard work and skill can pay off for anyone.  Indeed, many studies show that equitable or fair capitalist economies succeed more than those, like the US, that are not equitable.

And equity applies in multiple areas.  It means girls should be given more advantages in school than boys because boys are often given advantages our culture does not even recognize.  Boys are taught to build things and to speak up.  They’re expected to succeed and that often becomes self-fulfilling.  Girls are taught to take care of things and mostly listen.  They’re often not expected to have life-long careers but to have children and build families.  The result has been teachers and schools that often encourage and reward boys more than girls.  And boys thus enter science, technology, engineering or math fields far more than girls.  And it’s those careers that are and will be the most prosperous.  

Equity also applies with race.  Because people of color have historically been oppressed, their children have far fewer cultural and parental advantages than do white children.  Affirmative action in job and college applications are proven ways to offer equity of opportunity.  It’s a way to be fair in the track race of life.

With compassion and equity, we can achieve justice.  We  can achieve a society in which it’s not the size of your mom’s bank account, her education level, your gender, or your race that determines how far you will go.   Instead, one’s character, talent, and hard work should be the only determiners of success.

In sum, compassion + equity =  justice.  It’s the ticket to a more fair  world.  And that is a Unitarian Universalist Principle we should prioritize with our support and practice.   Thank you all for listening!

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Saint Augustine was a fourth and fifty century theologian who had a big impact on Christian and western thinking.  He saw the world in strictly Manichean – or good versus evil – terms.  There is a constant battle between god and the devil, he taught.   As a part of that, people are born with original sin inherited from Adam and Eve.  We are born selfish and egocentric.  In later life, however, we can choose to follow god and be born again into goodness over sin.

John Locke, the 18th century philosopher, directly rejected Augustinian belief in original sin.  He said we are born as so-called blank slates on which our environment, parental nurturing, education, and choices we make all figuratively write onto us who we are and how we act.  His was an attempt to bring psychology into more modern times by rejecting the supposed influence of god.

Today, understanding of human motivations has in many ways combined Augustine and Locke’s ideas.  We are not born with original sin, but we are born instead with genetic imprints that help determine who we will be.  As we mature, other influences can modify and even change our disposition and ways of thinking and acting.  In other words, we can grow.

Much of the inquiry into how inherited genes play a role in our personalities and sense of right and wrong touches on the unconscious part of ourselves.  That is the part of us that we have no awareness even exists.   We often think, act and speak in ways that we do not cognitively decide.   We unconsciously do them, in our own unique ways.  These actions are often determined by what our genes have programmed into us: for instance, to be extroverts or introverts, calm or agitated, empathetic or indifferent.

But, as I said, such genetic influence of who we are is not absolute.  Just as someone may have inherited addictive tendencies to alcohol and drugs, that does not take away one’s ability and even need to purposefully change negative behavior.  In other words, we are born with a mindset and personality at least partly influenced by genetics, but we can also re-program ourselves in ways we choose.   Once again, we can grow.  And for the sake of my message today on the Third Unitarian Universalist Principle, I believe we choose if and how we will spiritually grow.

For me, spirituality is defined by inquiry and understanding of forces greater than us.  And such forces are not just those that seemingly defy scientific explanation, but also include the great forces of which I’ve just spoken – those of life purpose and inclination toward doing good.  In many ways, all forms of spirituality concern trying to understand one’s place in the cosmos.  Who am I?  Why do I exist?  How am I connected to the wider universe?  What does it mean to be ethical?

I believe definition of the word “spiritual” has been hijacked by religions who generally define it as having to do with matters of the spirit – things that are in the realm of the supernatural.  One cannot be spiritual, such thinking goes, unless one believes in spirits, gods, or goddesses.  Unfortunately, some Atheists, Humanists and Unitarian Universalists have accepted that religious definition of the word and thus, for them, spirituality is a dirty concept because it’s not based on reason and empirical proof.  But it shouldn’t have such a definition – at least in my opinion.

Spiritual growth is, as I earlier alluded, about gaining more and more awareness of the role we are created to play in life and the world.  That, indeed, is a subject I don’t believe science can ever answer but it IS reason based.  I do not believe, as some scientists suggest, that everything is randomly created with no underlying purpose.  If that were so, then we might as well live as if nothing mattered and we can thus do as we please with no ethics to follow.  Existence, in my mind, has meaning and it is the human effort to seek what our purpose is that defines what is called spiritual growth.

Reverend Rob Hardies of All Souls Unitarian Universalist church of Washington D.C. says spiritual growth is an expansion of the soul.  It is, he says, how we move from being mostly self-focused to being outwardly focused.  And that is finding our purpose in life – to serve not the self but all of creation.  

Our soul, what I believe is the unconscious self, gradually comes to understand the universe does not serve us, but rather we serve it.  We are each but one small cog in the totality of everything and our role is to fit within its machinery to serve, care, love, and collaborate with all of the other parts.

We begin life concerned with our individual needs primarily because infants are mostly helpless.  But as physically grow, and are no longer helpless, we can then re-program ourselves to instead spiritually expand – or grow – such that we perceive our individual needs as minor, compared to the needs of all things – and so we seek to serve others.  As Reverend Hardies put it in his elaboration on the Third Principle, “We need souls that can take in the world in all its complexity and diversity, yet still maintain our integrity.  We need souls that can love and be in relationship with all of this complexity.  Instead of fight or flight, we need a spiritual posture of embrace.”

Reading the Third Principle, we see not only a guide for individual thinking, but also congregational life as well.  It provides a clear purpose for the existence of this church and others like it.  I have heard a few people denigrate this place as kind of like a country club or social club  – and I hate to repeat that criticism because it is so wrong.  This place is expansive in its outlook.  It exists not just to embrace one another, but everyone else too.

But as the Third Principle implies, congregations importantly exist to encourage spiritual growth within themselves.  And that is a too often overlooked function of what we do – and where many of our priorities and planning should focus.  Are we mutually expanding each other in our spirituality and awareness of our role in the world?  Do we encourage, enlighten, support, and celebrate spiritual growth and change both in ourselves and in each other?  Do we come together to relate as collaborators and friends in the great purpose of living?  Importantly, do we measure or success not by numbers or money, but by changed lives?  Boiled down to one essential question, does this place help people spiritually grow for the better?  I believe we do – and not just by social justice work or serving those who suffer.  By living in community, by interacting with and figuratively embracing each other in gentle and kind ways, we are spiritually growing – and we grow each other too.

John Newton, who wrote the internationally well-known hymn “Amazing Grace”, exemplifies in many ways what I speak of in terms of being born with an immature predisposition toward, but later growing into someone who better understands the meaning of life.

Newton was notoriously rebellious and profane in his early years.  His father got him a job, at age eleven, working on a ship in the hopes the rigorous life would help mature him.  It did not.  He was so rebellious as a teenager and ship crew member that he was punished by being forced to join the British Royal Navy – again hoping that would teach him respect toward others.  It did not.  He deserted the Navy and then joined on as a crewman on a slave trading ship.  That ship encountered a severe storm that nearly sunk it.  And Newton, in a desperate, bargaining prayer, called out to God to save him and, if so, he would change his ways.  The ship was saved and Newton began his path to becoming a Christian. 

But his change was only gradual.  He evolved in his thinking about self, God, and slavery over the next several years until he eventually rejected slave trading.  Returning to England, he became involved in a church.  His change of ways, passion, and interest in religion were such that he was soon noticed by well-known clergy and politicians.  He was ordained as a Minister and joined forces with William Wilberforce, the English politician who led the effort to abolish slave trading and slavery itself.  Soon thereafter, he and an associate composed a hymnal in which was the song “Amazing Grace” – one which he admitted was largely autobiographical.  The hymn quickly became famous – especially in the U.S.

It’s opening line, “Amazing grace!  How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me” was and still is interpreted by many as Newton’s confession for his responsibility helping trade in human life.  In one of his sermons about the hymn, he said, “Sinners are blinded by the god of this world until mercy came to us not only undeserved but undesired.”  He religiously stated my premise for how people spiritually grow.  We’re born immature and self focused, but many of us can and do change for the better to become people who make a positive difference.

       Of course, Newton understood his epiphany in light of Christian theology.  But while he explains his growth being due to God, it is better understood from the perspective of learning and changing not in some sudden salvation experience, but gradually and with dawning awareness that genuine meaning and goodness is defined by how we learn to treat others.

During the campaign to end the slave trade, Newton was a contrite and vivid explainer of its horrors.  He wrote a widely distributed pamphlet that detailed how Africans were captured, forced into chains, and then barely kept alive during the ocean crossing to the Americas.  In one passage, he described what he did on his ship when a slave revolt broke out.  He commanded a canon filled with small pieces of sharp metal and fired it point blank at the crowd of slaves – many of whom were children and severely sick captives.  Such descriptions in the pamphlet were sincere confessions intended to inform people about the terrible cruelty of slavery and the slave trade.  It was a major factor in changeling public opinion and passing the law forbidding the slave trade.

While my own path of spiritual growth went away from God and Christianity, his story nevertheless echoes patterns of my life.  I did not reach a semblance of my current beliefs until I was in my forties and I am still on a path of learning and betterment.  Much of that comes from a dawning awareness that I am flawed and that Ministry for me has been a gift – not as a way to earn a living, but as a way to see all of my imperfections contrasted against the ideals I encourage.  I’m still learning how best to serve and love any person- especially those I disagree with.  And I choose my message topics to improve myself as much as anyone else.  For me, stating a belief is one way to be reminded to practice it.

A few weeks ago, one of the members here, seeing me help clean the kitchen, asked why such work is a part of being a minister.  I responded with something I’ve learned as a minister: never ask someone to do something you yourself are not willing and happy to also do.  That states a spiritual ethic I believe.  We are all ministers, none higher or better than another – and we are each called to grow and change for the better precisely so we can do our share to improve the world.  Beyond that, ministers – and thus all of us – are to be servants with a humility that recognizes serving is highly valued.  It’s not lowly or demeaning in any way.  Ultimately, spiritual growth is to ask yourself if you are regularly making an important and good difference in the world – or not?  Is there more peace, giving, service, and kindness in your home, workplace, church, and / or neighborhood because of you?  Even more, are such qualities increasing in you – because you perceive where you lack and thus seek to grow?

Every member of this congregation believes in making the world better.  But the key to doing so is not just in the doing.  It is also in the becoming.   And that, in a nutshell, is what we do and what the Third UU Principle is all about.  Individually and collectively, Unitarian Universalists pledge to continually, continually! expand their souls to become spiritually enlightened people.  That means, for me, to always be trying to be others  focused with kindness, service, and empathy to all.

I wish you each much peace and joy.

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Re

Key West is one of my favorite places to visit because of its generally relaxed and open minded culture – in of course a tropical setting.  And it’s history proves that point.  Artists like Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, Robert Frost, Wallace Stevens, and Judy Blume were all at least partly drawn to the island because it’s a place with a decidedly open mind about many things.  

As tourist driven as Key West is today, it’s popular because it’s a type of bohemia – a place figuratively at the end of the earth and as far as one can travel south by car in the US to perhaps escape, for a time, the stress of the mainland.  Key West, I think, has a gentle and accepting culture where people can be themselves without judgement.  For many artists, and the LGBTQ community, Key West has always been an oasis of acceptance.   One’s inner truth can be openly expressed here without fear.

And in many ways, this weekend’s Fantasy Fest in Key West, as one version of a Halloween street party, exemplifies that ethos.  During this holiday, someone can be who they want to be by dressing up – or down – in some fun or outlandish costume.  It’s a way to live out one’s fantasies in actual reality – which is the topic of my message this morning.

If we think about it, that’s what most people seek in life.  We want to live true and honestly by being on the outside what we are on the inside – if even for just a short while on Halloween.  How we think, feel, dream, and fantasize in our hearts and minds is also how most people want to outwardly act and speak.  I believe that in order to be genuinely happy, being outwardly true to one’s inner self is a goal to seek after – and hopefully attain.

And that is also what spiritually minded people want.  Instead of just accepting what most world religions say are absolute truths about life, death, and the universe, spirituality instead encourages exploration and an ongoing search for truth.  Religions generally say they have all the answers.  But spirituality says the opposite: instead of answers to life’s great mysteries, it has only questions.  Some answers might be found in one religion, some in another, and some in science, or even from nature itself.  The idea is that capital ’T’ Truth, what I believe is god, that’s elusive, it has yet to be found, and so it must be sought after.  Once again, if we think about it, that’s what we do when we dream, hope or fantasize.  We envision a possible truth about life or about ourselves – and then we determine if it aligns with reality.

For most of us as Unitarian Universalists, the search for Truth is what we have as one of our principles  – and it’s one we try to practice.  From my perspective, Unitarian Universalism perfectly symbolizes the Key West culture of acceptance and open minded exploration.  Instead of adhering to one standard of appearance and mindset, Unitarian Universalists, the people of Key West, and other like-minded people consider and practice multiple ways to think and appear.  

Jesus, of all people, taught that the truth will set a person free.  When we don a costume that expresses a hope, dream, or fantasy, we share a truth about ourselves.  We might dress up as a pirate, an angel, or heroes we admire – perhaps police or fire persons.  For just a short while, we wear what we hope for and think on the inside.  

And that is just the same as what is done here and in all Unitarian Universalist churches.  We ponder and dream of different ways to build a more just and equitable world.  We explore new ideas on what animates the universe.  We also seek ways to be better people who create legacies of kindness and service to others.  In other words, we fantasize about potential new realities – and we are set free from any shame, judgement, religious creeds, or social standards that try to tell people how to think and act.

And for me, that is exactly why I love both Key West and Unitarian Universalist churches.  They are literal and symbolic Edens – places in which we can be who we really are.

I’ve shared before with my congregation in Cincinnati, Ohio how admitting my truth set me free both personally and spiritually.   It’s a long and involved story and I’ll save you the details.  Suffice it to say that for over half my life I felt deep shame about my inward reality of having same-sex thoughts and attractions – even though I did not act on them.  It was not until I realized my dissonant self – thinking one way on the inside while acting a different way on the outside, that I then finally came out and found contentment and peace.

For many years when I was closeted, I desperately wanted not to have gay thoughts and attractions.  I was a Minister in a Christian church and I constantly prayed for god to take away those thoughts and fantasies.  At one point, after I had desperately tried and prayed almost non-stop for several weeks to be inwardly straight – and it hadn’t happened, I cried out to god, with great anguish, asking why he had not answered my prayers.  Had I not devoted my life to him?  Had I not done all I could to change my inner thoughts?  Christianity teaches that if one believes in god and genuinely seeks to be changed, god will make it happen.  But, for me and many other LGBTQ people, he didn’t change me because he couldn’t.  And I say he couldn’t because in my epiphany fifteen years ago, I realized another truth – that god could’t change me because he likely did not exist in the way I had thought he did.  

And that prompted a new theology for me: God is not some supernatural being that controls our lives.  Instead, god-like power is within all of creation and importantly within us.  It is we who have the power, ability and responsibility to build a more compassionate, kind and beautiful world.  In so many ways, we are little ‘g’ gods and goddesses of this world. 

And so my epiphany revealed to me two things.  First, my thoughts, dreams, fantasies, and hopes define me as a gay man.  I just had to make my outward reality conform to my inner truth.  Second, that same inner truth about myself reveled to me that there cannot be a god that condemns me or anyone else.  Instead, I am little ‘g’ god and so are you – and it’s we who must love and accept both love ourselves and other people – just for who we or they are (so long as we do no harm to others.)   

We all dream and fantasize of a perfect world – one in which everybody lives in peace and everyone’s needs are met.  There’s no greed, hatred, anger, or fear in our dreamed for world.  It’s just love, justice for all, and equality.  That kind of perfection has not, of course, come about yet.  But it only will if each person acts according to their inward fantasies for a perfect world – and does their best to make it happen. 

For me, that’s the great beauty of fantasies, dreams and hopes.  We may trivialize them as sexual – or like pie in the sky daydreams that are not grounded in truth.   And yet, that is not so.  Many experts tell us that our fantasies and dreams reveal truth to us – just as they did for me.

While many psychologists no longer believe all that Sigmund Freud proposed about the human mind, his theory that dreams reveal our knee truths is nevertheless still widely accepted.  People often venture into a world of fantasy in order to chart a new direction for themselves.  In order for us to change, we often need to imagine what that will look.  If we seek to lose weight, gain a new skill, come out of the closet, or become more empathetic and kind, we first have to imagine how we do that, what the outcome might be like, and what the benefits are.  By fantasizing of a new and different self, we can then begin a path toward its realization.   Ultimately, healthy fantasies and dreams are not escapes from reality, but rather explorations of its possibility.  Fantasies may or may not exist in a concrete sense, but they do exist as truth.  They can happen if we make them happen – if we act as little ‘g’ gods and goddesses.

Last evening in the various Fantasy Fest parades, I saw some of Key West’s famous drag queens.  They are in many ways the fantasy-reality I’ve spoken about.  Some men appear and act as women.  They bring their inner feminine side, something all men have some degree of, out into the open.  And as somewhat exaggerated women, they are joyous and playful precisely because they are freely expressing something good and real within themselves.

That’s why most experts in psychology say that fantasies and dreams that envision situations and actions which do no harm – actions that exemplify the Golden Rule to treat others like one wants to be treated  herself or himself – that such fantasies are healthy and beneficial.  Such healthy fantasies not only make us happier because we express an inward reality, they also make us happy because they envision something hopeful and positive.

Fantasies can also mentally help people escape trauma.  Those who are depressed or who have been deeply hurt and abused by others, often fantasize about taking back their power.  They envision themselves as strong enough to overcome their sadness, or to no longer allow an abuser to hurt them.  Such fantasizing is usually a path to healing and regaining a love of self.

Fantasies also, experts say, enliven our creative and imaginative minds – to see things of great possibility that, as I said earlier, are usually grounded in reality.  The famous author H.G. Wells described in his fictional nineteenth century books things like space travel, genetic engineering, email, lasers, and nuclear energy.  Back in the 1950’s, the famous Caltech scientist Richard Feynman gave a speech about a fantasy he had of writing the entire Encyclopedia Britannica on the head of pin.  He theorized how using a modified electron microscope as a writing tool could do this – and not only that, but also build things on extremely small scales.   He essentially envisioned the computer microchip which, as we know, continually gets smaller and more powerful.

Finally, I believe healthy fantasies foster empathy.  When we dream of better conditions in the world, when we fantasize about finding a cure for cancer, or eliminating childhood poverty and homelessness, or having a beautifully diverse society, we build empathy for those who hurt because we’ve fantasized about good attitudes becoming reality.  And I believe Fantasy Fest does much the same – building empathy for marginalized people by openly celebrating, with costumes and fun times, the goodness of diversity.  And afterwards many people might be inspired to go out and do something to help those who are affected by discrimination. 

What we need in these troubled times are, indeed, millions of people – like those of you who reside in key West –  who dream and fantasize about good and great attributes in themselves and in all humanity.  Such people don’t accept the status quo in their hearts and minds.  They  envision something better.  We need people who align their fantasies with what is true in the universe and world – people who see the good in themselves and in humanity – and then in turn strive to make it happen. 

That’s why, as I said at the outset, Key West for me a wonderful place. Fantasy Fest, Unitarian Universalists, and places and people around the world like them are equally wonderful.  Let us each endeavor to be fantasizers who are true to themselves, and who are true to the idea of one human family living in a world of compassion, generosity, and equal opportunity for all.

Thank you for listening and I wish you each a happy Fantasy Fest – along with much peace and joy.

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

How does one talk about sex in church?  If the past is any guide, you  don’t.  How do the major world religions address the same topic?  Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Hinduism generally define it as an activity  that is only redeemed because of its reproductive usefulness.  

The predominant message religions promote about sex is that it should be joyless, limited, controlled by men, and acceptable only between a husband and his wife.  Women, when religious scriptures were written thousands of years ago, were considered property and less than men.  They could only have one husband, while men could have many wives.  Women were to be virgins before marriage, and if they were not, no decent man should marry them.  Virginity was NOT required of men before they married.  A female’s destiny was determined by her father, and later by her husband – but never on her terms.  She could not own property.  She could not testify in an any legal case.  She had a status less than that of male servants.  If she was raped, she was forced to marry her rapist.  If she committed adultery, she alone would be punished – usually by stoning to death.  Her partner was usually not punished.  

Jews, Christians and Muslims believed – and many still do – that  women are like the fictional Eve – gullible, prone to sin, and good only for bearing children and tending a home.   Women, having inherited the sinfulness of Eve, supposedly deceive and incite men with sex – and so they must be hidden away not for their protection, but to prevent men from sinning. 

A book entitled Sex at Dawn was published a few years ago that focuses on the evolution of human sexuality.  During pre-historic times,  when humans assembled in small hunter-gatherer groups, the book says people were likely very open and free about sexuality.  Using observations from hunter-gatherer tribes that still exist and from bonobo primates, who are considered the closest human relatives, the book’s authors claim the pre-historic clans were very communal in all they did.  The focus was on group well-being – and not on families.  Men and women freely mated with all members of the group.  Since fatherhood of a child could not be definitively determined, children belonged to the group as a whole.  They were provided for and raised by all.  This attitude toward sex and procreation mostly eliminated competition for mates, it kept peace within the tribe, and importantly reduced stress amongst its members.

Once humans evolved to agrarian based societies, however, people became more concerned about property rights and knowing exactly who were their offspring.  It became essential that men knew exactly who their children were so they could insure the continuity of their property through inheritance.  Men could be as promiscuous as they wished, but women who bore children were severely controlled.  And that led religions and cultures to initiate their sexual rules.  

Sadly, such moralistic and misogynist attitudes about sexuality still survive today.  Human sexuality today is mostly not talked about in polite company, and it is still too often male dominant.  When it is talked about or depicted, it’s often done in ways that hide it, make it seem shameful, or worst of all, in ways that focus on it as arousing.  As puritanical as the culture can often still be, pornography is nevertheless a multi-billion dollar business, and illegal sex slavery is still a scourge.  Theses dysfunctions  point to a disconnect in society about sex – that it is dirty, shameful, and should be kept hidden. 

Widespread sexual harassment, violence, and abuse of women results, I believe, from those attitudes of control and shame.  Some men in our culture still think they can regulate female sexuality and reproductive rights.  It’s historically been OK for men to use and abuse women as they wish – some women for sexual enjoyment, other women for marriage and bearing children.  That approach boils down to patriarchy and the desire of some men to insure they know their offspring who will inherit their property.  Overall, many people today are either embarrassed by the subject of physical intimacy, or have they have dysfunctional thoughts about it.

What is troubling is that it is relatively rare in our culture for there to be open, honest, and unashamed discussions, or depictions, of consensual and equal human sexuality – in ways that describe it as spiritual, beautiful, tender, joyful, healthy, life enhancing, and fun.  Unitarian Universalism is one of the few organizations that promotes and teaches responsible and unashamed human sexuality through its Our Whole Lives – or OWL – programs.  GNH, along with First UU and St. John’s UU,  collaborate in teaching the program to our teenagers.  But OWL has age appropriate curriculum for everyone – from kindergarten aged children up to senior adults.  And the emphasis of each is on healthy sexuality that understands it is a fun and good part of life.

UU’s have also been at the vanguard of progressive views on sexuality by being one of the earliest denominations in the world to ordain both women AND lesbian and gay clergy.  The other was the Metropolitan Community Church denomination which is comprised of mostly LGBTQ members.  UU’s, along with MCC churches, were also the first to sanctify and bless same-sex marriages – in 1984 which was almost thirty years before that became legal.  The UUA also recognizes the Unitarian Universalist Polyamory Awareness organization.  Its mission is to educate and encourage awareness of the philosophy and practice of loving or relating intimately to more than one other person at a time – with honesty and integrity.

While any belief or practice supported by the national UUA does not mean each Unitarian Universalist must believe the same, it does emphasize the UU approach to spirituality.  We support all paths to finding Truth – as long each path does no harm and is consistent with how one wishes to be treated him or herself.  In that regard, open, joyful, responsible, guilt-free, and consensual sexuality that does no harm, no matter its form of expression, is good, moral and right.

And that is why I’ve included romance and physical intimacy in my three part message series this month on the theme, “Are We Having Fun Yet?”  Life is full of challenges and can be quite stressful.  Stress takes a profound toll on our bodies and our minds.  But the antidote to it, experts say, is laughter, play, joyful goofing off, and, as I will assert today, responsible and consensual physical intimacy that is open and joyful.

The irony behind the moralistic and paternalistic approach many world religions have adopted toward sex, is that three of them, Judaism, Christianity and Hinduism, teach an open and unashamed attitude toward it in their scriptures.  Found in both Jewish wisdom literature and in the Christian Bible is the poetry piece entitled “Song of Solomon.”  Found within the Upanishads, the Hindu scriptures, is a piece entitled Kama Sutra – which as many of us know is a frank but joyous teaching on sex.  Both Song of Solomon and the Kama Sutra were written over two-thousand years ago by spiritually minded people who well understood the life giving joy and wonder of sex.

The Song of Solomon is a poem describing the thoughts and words of a young man and young woman in love.  Overall, it is poetry about lovemaking and the yearning, seeking and finding of pleasure between two people.  It was literally thousands of years ahead of its time with regard to sex – and yet ancient rabbis and Christian theologians believed it worthy and valuable enough to include in their scriptures.

The piece was also ahead of its time in the equal way the young woman relates and speaks to both her lover and to the reader.  She was both the pursued AND the pursuer.  This was at a time when women were to be silent, passive and definitely not the initiator of romance.  Even more, the young lady was a woman of color – the poem says this – and she was in love and in lust with a lover who was white.  Finally, Song of Solomon was ahead of its time in championing the playful aspects of sex – apart from its reproductive function.  The lovers were unmarried and yet they engaged in joyous intimacy.  “Eat, friends, drink; and be drunk with love” is what the male lover tells the reader.  In other words, the poem says that physical intimacy is fun, beautiful, and is representative of the spiritual forces that created everything. 

Here are some verses in the Song of Solomon that the young woman says about the young man,

While my lover was on his couch, my nard gave forth its fragrance.  My beloved is to me a bag of myrrh that lies between my breasts.

As an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among young men.  With great delight I sit in his shadow, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.  I will climb the palm tree, I will take hold of its fruit.  My beloved thrust his hand into the opening, and my inmost being yearned for him.  

And here is what he said about her:

I rose up to my beloved and my hands dripped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of her lock.  O queenly maiden!  Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand.  Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks for wine.  May your breasts be for me like clusters of the vine, and your kisses like the best wine that goes down smoothly.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I need a cold shower after reading such verses!  And they are, ironically enough, found in the Bible.  What they indicate is that ancient religious people, despite some of their moralizing and misogyny about sex, were aware enough to understand the goodness and playfulness of it.  Even more, they recognized what my message today speaks to.  If we are to include more fun and laughter in our lives – in order to reduce stress and improve our physical and mental health – then a part of what we include should be more romance and intimacy.

Another ancient religious scripture agrees.  The Kama Sutra is one book among many books in the Hindu Upanishad scriptures.  Kama, in Hinduism, is one of four primary Hindu beliefs about humanity.  Kama focuses on pleasure, desire, and love.  Kama, for Hindus, exemplifies what love should be for humanity – an expression that incorporates the physical, emotional and spiritual sides of life.  Kama, however, must never violate moral responsibility to others.

Sutra simply means instruction and so the Kama Sutra book is an instruction manual for relationships and intimacy.  It is quite open with its descriptions of different ways to make love, its recognition that people might have multiple physical relationships, and its teachings on how to be giving and tender.  Sex ultimately is, the book says, about mutual giving and receiving.

If the Kama Sutra has one drawback, it is its male centric approach.  Men are the leaders in all things romantic and, while they are to be loving and good to their female partners, women are clearly not in control.

Even more than Song of Solomon, however, the Kama Sutra blesses human sexuality.  There is no guilt, shame or sinfulness attached to its responsible expression to a willing partner.  More importantly, the Kama Sutra recognizes that physical intimacy is a gift from the gods – something to be honored and not abused.

I have to admit to a reluctance to speak on this topic.  Like many Ministers, I sometimes think the subject of sex is not one for Sunday mornings – unless it is to repent for what one did the night before!   But my hangups are not healthy, nor are they so for anyone else.  I fundamentally believe that our culture needs to grow out of its immature approach to sex.  Many people want to know all there is about it, but they don’t want to admit it or talk about it.  And that mindset leads, as I said, to dysfunction and harm.  

Jesus told his followers, “Truth will set you free” – and that is so for a knowledge and understanding about physical intimacy.  People both young and old need to know the truth about sex:  that when practiced in healthy and affirming ways, it is good, moral, and for our benefit.  It is clearly a yearning knit into human DNA that makes its pleasure something difficult to resist.  Whatever it is that created us, it made us sexual beings and that is both to insure our species survives, and also to enhance our enjoyment of life.  Without its fun, playfulness, tenderness, equality, and pleasure, our lives would be much diminished.  If we are to enthusiastically answer “Yes!” to the question, “Are We Having Fun Yet,” we should resolve to honor, respect and enjoy all things romantic and intimate.

I wish you each much peace and joy!    

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Some of you may have read the Biblical stories about the life of King David.  Whether the stories are myth or true, that doesn’t matter.  What’s important are the remarkable lessons from his life.  He was a young man who fell in love with his best friend Jonathon – the son of King Saul.  It was a friendship that even the Bible describes as closer than that between a woman and man.  

As a young teen, David was also precocious and cocky.  He claimed to be able to take on the strongest soldier Israel’s enemy had – a warrior  named Goliath.  David was about 13 or 14, skinny and weighing probably 100 pounds.  Goliath was about 25, muscular, 7 feet or more tall, and weighing perhaps 250 pounds.  And David impetuously boasted he could fight him and win – which he did.  He used his cunning to beat Goliath without hand to hand combat.  After he beat Goliath, he became an instant hero who in his late teens was made King of Israel.

And with even greater cockiness, David then led an army to defeat all of Israel’s enemies – people who hated Jews.  After the victory, David returned to Jerusalem for a huge parade.  He was in his prime – lean, strong, handsome, successful, rich, and unmarried.  He knew young women (and perhaps some young men) swooned over him.  

And so instead of marching in the parade in his uniform, he stripped down to his tunic – a short linen garment that served as underwear – and he wore that.  He then proceeded not to march but to dance, whirl, and spin along the streets of the Jerusalem.  It goes without saying that people of the time were mesmerized by the heroic young king.  David knew that and relished in it.

And so his arrogance continued.  While his army went off to fight some more battles, David stayed behind.  And he soon caught sight of a beautiful woman, Bathsheeba, who every evening went to her rooftop patio to bathe.  One evening evening, David saw her bathing and he was immediately in lust.  He went to her and even after finding out she was married, he had his way with her and fell in love.  He then conspired to have her husband, a captain in his army, assigned to the front lines of battle where he was killed.  David essentially murdered him so he could have Bathsheeba.

And then his troubles began.  People soon caught on to his arrogance and treachery.  Jewish political enemies began to conspire against him and raised armies to fight him.  David was forced to flee with his army and he even ended up hiding in caves to avoid defeat.  He remained King, but he was deeply affected by the change in his fame and fortune.  He was now scorned instead idolized.  Seeking redemption, David realized and admitted his selfish, arrogant and murderous ways.  He began to search his soul and resolve to be a better man.  In many ways, David finally grew up.

And it was after his change of ways that he supposedly wrote many  of the Biblical Psalms which are about dealing with life challenges and changing one’s inner flaws and misdeeds.  In a modern translation of Psalm 131, after David had changed his arrogant ways, he allegedly wrote: 

I’m no longer trying to rule the roost,
I don’t want to be king of the mountain.
I haven’t meddled where I have no business
or fantasized grandiose plans. 

I’ve kept my feet on the ground,
I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mother’s arms,
my soul is a baby content.

This Psalm, more than any other, indicates David’s awareness of his failures as a young man and King.  He believed that many of the positive youthful qualities others admired in him – courage, playfulness, persistence, and imagination – allowed him to also be arrogant, impulsive, selfish and lacking in self-control.  Ultimately, what Psalm 131 indicates is that David finally understood the difference between the good attributes of being childlike, and the negative attributes of being childish.

And that, in a nutshell, is my lesson for today with the message title “It’s OK to not to act our age.”  For anyone aged 1 to 100, it’s good, healthy and fun to be  childlike in ways that David was – curious, playful, and willing to take risks.

But for any person of any age, it’s almost never good, healthy or right to act childish in ways that David also was – selfish, cocky, and impetuous.

In other words, for any of us – young, middle aged, or a senior, it’s OK not to act our age.  It’s healthy to live according to my theme this month to have fun.  In other words, it’s good to be childlike.  But it’s not good to be childish.

Last week, my message asked “Are We Having Fun Yet?”  And I said we should!  Being more fun loving is a necessary attitude for our survival.  Yes, we deal with serious challenges in life and must address them responsibly.  But the stress on our bodies and minds can be too much.  Just this past Friday the New York Times highlighted a study indicating stress is the cause of a number of chronic and often deadly diseases.  It’s essential we find ways to reduce stress.  One way is that our brains are wired to help us reduce stress by occasionally flooding our bodies with a hormone, dopamine, to counteract anxiety, worry, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, and elevated heart rates.  Dopamine, however, is only released when we experience pleasure and that often comes when we laugh, play, recreate, goof-off and have plain old fun.  We should not be so serious and instead be more playful.

And David lived a life that often exemplified that attitude.  He had fun.  He enjoyed dancing, romance, and good times with friends.  He was, in many ways childlike, perhaps so he could handle the many serious responsibilities he faced as King.

        The stories of David appear in the Old Testament, but the New Testament endorses the lessons of his life.  Jesus admonished adults who who tried to banish children from his presence.  The greatness of children, he taught, is that they are playful, full of wonder, and pure of heart – and adults should be much more like them.

But my message this week also points out the negative side of not acting in ways appropriate for any person, of any age.  David was childish in thinking he could do and have whatever he wanted.  He was an adult who had never grown out of being a spoiled brat.

That underlines my theme.  It’s important for to be playful and have fun and not act our age.  That’s both OK and good.

It may be surprising to hear, but as serious as I can often be, I enjoy occasionally letting my hair down and having what I think is childlike fun with Keith and friends.  I occasionally go to a dance club in Florida where I let loose, dance with abandon, and sadly prove – without caring at all – that I have no rhythm.

Every month here in Cincinnati I also enjoy going to what is called a Sunday Tea Dance.  Tea Dances originated in the 1970’s for the LGBTQ community to spend a few hours on Sunday afternoons dancing, having a drink or two, and feeling safe in a diverse assembly of straight, lesbian, gay, female, male, young, old, black, and white friends.  Two Proctor and Gamble executives renewed that tradition here in Cincinnati about a year ago.  The parties are now extremely popular, free of charge, open to everyone, and attracting between 400 and 1000 people each month.  There is one today at 4:00 PM at the Freedom Center.

The sad thing for me is that a few well-meaning but judgmental people tsk-tsk what I, Keith, and my similarly aged friends do.  “Act your age!” is what they tell me.  “Nobody over thirty should be in a dance club rocking and rolling and acting silly.”

And that kind of ageism happens to many seniors.  “You’re too old to do that job” or “You’re too old to go back to school” or “Slow down and act your age – and not your shoe size” or “You should retire and just fade away.”

Equally as concerning is what many young people are told in much the same – but opposite way.   “You’re too young to drive” or “You’re too young to have responsibility” or “You’re not mature and wise enough to be taken seriously.”

There is in our culture a judgmental attitude towards people of any age that they should act according to a stereotype of how people their age supposedly should act.  But the question is, just how should a 20, 40, 60 or 80 year old act?  

        Millennials are mocked for supposedly being immature and self-focused.  Those over 60 are marginalized for supposedly being technologically inept, set in their ways, weak, infirm, and worst of all – living reminders that death awaits us all.  Ageism – for people of any age – seems to be the one form of discrimination that is rarely rebuked.

What we need, as the title of my message suggests, is an attitude that it’s OK NOT to act our numerical age!

In that regard, I leave you with a few suggestions on how to be more childlike.

Be present and live in the moment – much like a child.  Children don’t have much of a past and they don’t care about the future.  They embrace the joy of right now.

Be creative and imaginative.  We should each find something creative to do – draw, paint, sculpt, bake, write, cook, plant.

Get outdoors.  I believe there is nothing so elemental, primal and youthful as exulting in a walk, a hike, a swim, or quietly observing and  listening to nature.

Be in awe and ask lots and lots of questions.  This should come easy for Unitarian Universalists.  We admit we don’t have answers to life’s great questions and so we are open minded and accepting of all.  Albert Einstein said it best, “Those who can no longer pause to wonder and stand in rapt awe are as good as dead…”

Take risks.  Be vulnerable.  Change yourself once in a while.  I think it’s healthy to be adventurous, try new foods, change your hairstyle, or the clothing style you regularly wear.

         Be romantic.  I’ll elaborate on this next week, but adult physical intimacy and consensual touch is fun, healthy, and spiritual – no matter our age.  

Most of all, we should heed the lesson of King David – the dangers of being childish, but the goodness of not acting our age and always being childlike.

          As a follow-up, take a look at this video about never acting our age…