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(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills

Click here to listen to the message. See below to read it.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…”

As you may know, I just quoted from the opening lines of Charles Dickens’ novel A Tale of Two Cities in which he contrasts the hope of well-off Parisians with the hopelessness of Paris’ poor.

His contrast between two totally different cultures – ones that were worlds apart but nevertheless living side by side, is strikingly similar to today’s conditions in America and especially in our education system.  It is very easy to see the stark differences in how children from well-off communities are educated – and how those in poor rural or urban areas fare. 

A “Tale of Two Schools” in America would highlight such differences.  The disparity between some schools is shocking and, like Dickens’ novel, illustrates the divide not only between rich and poor, but between avenues to future success that our nation provides advantaged and disadvantaged children.

Massachusetts was the first colony and state to initiate free public education for all youth.  State officials believed that it is in the public interest to freely educate every child – all the better to build an informed and skilled citizenry.  Thomas Jefferson supported the idea of public education for all that is paid for with taxpayer dollars.  His support began the creation of schools for all children – ones near their homes and paid for with property taxes.

That practice of paying for schools with taxes on local real estate continues today.  But the outcome of that system often means that schools in neighborhoods with low property values do not have the same advantages as schools in high value areas.  

In 1997, the Ohio Supreme Court ruled that property tax funding of schools in Ohio is unconstitutional since Ohio’s constitution says that the state shall establish common schools for all youth.  And “common” is the key word.  The Ohio Supreme Court has ruled several times that the word “common” implies all schools shall offer roughly equal education opportunities and resources.

But, as we know, schools throughout the nation might be equal in their standards and in many cases their budgets, but they are far from equitable in the opportunities they provide.

Wealthy suburban schools often have amazing resources – computers for each student in every classroom, large and well-equipped science labs, abundant libraries, extensive multi-media and sports facilities, experienced teachers with masters degrees or more, and a full range of classes offered to students of every ability.  Even more, children living in well-off communities have educated parents who appreciate the importance of education.  They not only have spent countless hours reading to and teaching their children, they continue that support until their kids are grown. 

Poorer urban and rural schools are often entirely different places.  They struggle just to maintain a reasonably decent building – paint and plaster crumble, walls are covered with graffiti, libraries are non-existent, technology is limited, and teachers are overworked and often buy their own supplies.  There are few classes and resources available for gifted students,. or those in need of extra support.

Added to that situation is the culture in which less well-off students live.  Their parents are often poorly educated and often struggle just to provide food and shelter.  Many youth come from broken homes, are effectively homeless, or live with a grandmother who herself is overwhelmed.  Such kids have few of the family resources well-off kids enjoy.

Recently, governments have begun a push to increase budgets for poor schools in order to make them equal to the per pupil funding in wealthier schools.  But establishing equality in funding has not produced equal outcomes.  A huge majority of students in wealthy districts proceed on to college.  A very small minority do so from poor districts.  

The result is a perpetuation of class divisions in America.  Children  born to well-off parents are given the resources, at home and in school,  that allow them to get educations which then enrich them as adults – and the cycle of wealth continues.  In poor districts, children don’t have families that value education, they usually don’t graduate from High School, and they are thus relegated to unemployment, prison, or low income jobs.  And the cycle of poverty continues.

That results in a paradox that confounds politicians.  Roughly equal amounts of per pupil spending is becoming more common.  Locally, Cincinnati Public Schools ranks number three out of 25 area school districts in per pupil spending.  It recently spent millions to dramatically remodel or build new school buildings.  But it has been given a ‘D’ performance grade.  Indian Hill Schools per pupil spending is number one in the area but it is not far off that of Cincinnati Public.  But it has an ‘A’ grade in performance.  The two districts have similar spending per student, but the outcomes are very different.  

There are many reasons why that is so but I submit that EQUAL  spending per pupil is inherently unfair and INEQUITABLE to students in poor districts.  And that, I believe, is one reason why Unitarian Universalists support their Second Principle of “Justice, equity and compassion in human relations.”  And I trust you will note that the principle does not call for equality in human relations but rather equity.  

Here is a pictorial representation of what I suggest in my message this morning.  Equality does not mean the same thing as equity.  In the picture, giving the already tall boy a box to stand on gives him even greater advantages to see the game.  It’s much like the spending given to youth in Indian Hill.  They begin schooling having already been given tremendous life advantages.  Giving one box to the short or disadvantaged child does not help him much.  Much like children from poor school districts, he began life with few advantages.  

And so, to be equitable in human relations, that child should receive double or more the resources than already advantaged kids have.  Indeed, it’s likely that students in Indian Hill should receive much reduced per pupil spending – all in order to create a society that is based on equity and fairness of opportunity.

Here is another slide that illustrates my point – one which most of us can relate to since we have likely run in – or watched – a track race.  All running tracks are oval in shape and have several lanes within the oval.  Simple geometry means the outside lane in an oval track is the longest.  Inside lanes are shorter.  How do we hold a race with runners in each lane that is fair and equitable?  Those in outside lanes must start ahead of those on inside lanes.

To complete the analogy, disadvantaged kids should begin their race, or educations, way ahead in terms of resources given to them.  They will still need to meet the same standards – or run the same distance – as well-off kids.  But they will have been given sufficient resources so that they too have a fair chance to win at life.

A “Tale of Two Schools” comparison is effective because it can help us empathize with the struggles of disadvantaged kids.  And empathy is a direct result of compassion.  Having compassion for disadvantaged kids leads me, at least, to want equity for them.  I personally want a lot of my tax money to go to them – all so they can succeed and the cycle of their poverty be broken.  I empathize with such children and want fairness for them.  And I want very little of my tax money to go well-off kids – not because I want to punish them – indeed its not their fault they were born to well-off parents, but because I know they already have many advantages.

That’s a spiritual ethic taught in most world religions.  Jews, Christians, and Muslims believe in the ethic that to whom much is given, much is required.  That does not mean a well off person must give up all that they worked hard to have.  It does mean that with blessings come responsibilities.  That’s a law of life.  Our purpose is to use our advantages to help others.

If we feel empathy for the disadvantaged, and if we seek equity for them, then we will hopefully create justice in our land.  For me, justice means everyone has approximately similar opportunities – equity in our legal system, equity in access to good healthcare, equity in job applications, and equity in education opportunities.

As we know, that will not create equal outcomes for everyone since each person uses opportunities given them in different ways.  Some are born with different skill sets.  Others are born with different personalities and thus have different work ethics.  But if life is like a track race, then people born with few advantages must be allowed to begin the race way ahead – all in order to make the race fair.

I admit to some embarrassment at the many advantages I was given just because I won a lottery of birth to educated and well-off parents.  I try to use my advantages in ways that help others – and I hope some of my inner guilt gives me empathy for those with far less.  I’m in awe of people like my partner Keith who was born into a working class family with minimal finances.  He began life attending mostly poor, urban schools.  But with few advantages, without the finances to attend college, he educated himself and with hard work is now at the top of his computer science field.

Our Second Principle is, in my mind, brilliant.  It perfectly states the idea behind a fair society.  It does not support the idea of equal outcomes for all – what communism is.  That system believes everybody should be given similar incomes, housing, and benefits.  It removes any incentive to learn and work hard.  Instead, the UU Second Principle supports the notion that with equitable capitalism, hard work and skill can pay off for anyone.  Indeed, many studies show that equitable or fair capitalist economies succeed more than those, like the US, that are not equitable.

And equity applies in multiple areas.  It means girls should be given more advantages in school than boys because boys are often given advantages our culture does not even recognize.  Boys are taught to build things and to speak up.  They’re expected to succeed and that often becomes self-fulfilling.  Girls are taught to take care of things and mostly listen.  They’re often not expected to have life-long careers but to have children and build families.  The result has been teachers and schools that often encourage and reward boys more than girls.  And boys thus enter science, technology, engineering or math fields far more than girls.  And it’s those careers that are and will be the most prosperous.  

Equity also applies with race.  Because people of color have historically been oppressed, their children have far fewer cultural and parental advantages than do white children.  Affirmative action in job and college applications are proven ways to offer equity of opportunity.  It’s a way to be fair in the track race of life.

With compassion and equity, we can achieve justice.  We  can achieve a society in which it’s not the size of your mom’s bank account, her education level, your gender, or your race that determines how far you will go.   Instead, one’s character, talent, and hard work should be the only determiners of success.

In sum, compassion + equity =  justice.  It’s the ticket to a more fair  world.  And that is a Unitarian Universalist Principle we should prioritize with our support and practice.   Thank you all for listening!

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Saint Augustine was a fourth and fifty century theologian who had a big impact on Christian and western thinking.  He saw the world in strictly Manichean – or good versus evil – terms.  There is a constant battle between god and the devil, he taught.   As a part of that, people are born with original sin inherited from Adam and Eve.  We are born selfish and egocentric.  In later life, however, we can choose to follow god and be born again into goodness over sin.

John Locke, the 18th century philosopher, directly rejected Augustinian belief in original sin.  He said we are born as so-called blank slates on which our environment, parental nurturing, education, and choices we make all figuratively write onto us who we are and how we act.  His was an attempt to bring psychology into more modern times by rejecting the supposed influence of god.

Today, understanding of human motivations has in many ways combined Augustine and Locke’s ideas.  We are not born with original sin, but we are born instead with genetic imprints that help determine who we will be.  As we mature, other influences can modify and even change our disposition and ways of thinking and acting.  In other words, we can grow.

Much of the inquiry into how inherited genes play a role in our personalities and sense of right and wrong touches on the unconscious part of ourselves.  That is the part of us that we have no awareness even exists.   We often think, act and speak in ways that we do not cognitively decide.   We unconsciously do them, in our own unique ways.  These actions are often determined by what our genes have programmed into us: for instance, to be extroverts or introverts, calm or agitated, empathetic or indifferent.

But, as I said, such genetic influence of who we are is not absolute.  Just as someone may have inherited addictive tendencies to alcohol and drugs, that does not take away one’s ability and even need to purposefully change negative behavior.  In other words, we are born with a mindset and personality at least partly influenced by genetics, but we can also re-program ourselves in ways we choose.   Once again, we can grow.  And for the sake of my message today on the Third Unitarian Universalist Principle, I believe we choose if and how we will spiritually grow.

For me, spirituality is defined by inquiry and understanding of forces greater than us.  And such forces are not just those that seemingly defy scientific explanation, but also include the great forces of which I’ve just spoken – those of life purpose and inclination toward doing good.  In many ways, all forms of spirituality concern trying to understand one’s place in the cosmos.  Who am I?  Why do I exist?  How am I connected to the wider universe?  What does it mean to be ethical?

I believe definition of the word “spiritual” has been hijacked by religions who generally define it as having to do with matters of the spirit – things that are in the realm of the supernatural.  One cannot be spiritual, such thinking goes, unless one believes in spirits, gods, or goddesses.  Unfortunately, some Atheists, Humanists and Unitarian Universalists have accepted that religious definition of the word and thus, for them, spirituality is a dirty concept because it’s not based on reason and empirical proof.  But it shouldn’t have such a definition – at least in my opinion.

Spiritual growth is, as I earlier alluded, about gaining more and more awareness of the role we are created to play in life and the world.  That, indeed, is a subject I don’t believe science can ever answer but it IS reason based.  I do not believe, as some scientists suggest, that everything is randomly created with no underlying purpose.  If that were so, then we might as well live as if nothing mattered and we can thus do as we please with no ethics to follow.  Existence, in my mind, has meaning and it is the human effort to seek what our purpose is that defines what is called spiritual growth.

Reverend Rob Hardies of All Souls Unitarian Universalist church of Washington D.C. says spiritual growth is an expansion of the soul.  It is, he says, how we move from being mostly self-focused to being outwardly focused.  And that is finding our purpose in life – to serve not the self but all of creation.  

Our soul, what I believe is the unconscious self, gradually comes to understand the universe does not serve us, but rather we serve it.  We are each but one small cog in the totality of everything and our role is to fit within its machinery to serve, care, love, and collaborate with all of the other parts.

We begin life concerned with our individual needs primarily because infants are mostly helpless.  But as physically grow, and are no longer helpless, we can then re-program ourselves to instead spiritually expand – or grow – such that we perceive our individual needs as minor, compared to the needs of all things – and so we seek to serve others.  As Reverend Hardies put it in his elaboration on the Third Principle, “We need souls that can take in the world in all its complexity and diversity, yet still maintain our integrity.  We need souls that can love and be in relationship with all of this complexity.  Instead of fight or flight, we need a spiritual posture of embrace.”

Reading the Third Principle, we see not only a guide for individual thinking, but also congregational life as well.  It provides a clear purpose for the existence of this church and others like it.  I have heard a few people denigrate this place as kind of like a country club or social club  – and I hate to repeat that criticism because it is so wrong.  This place is expansive in its outlook.  It exists not just to embrace one another, but everyone else too.

But as the Third Principle implies, congregations importantly exist to encourage spiritual growth within themselves.  And that is a too often overlooked function of what we do – and where many of our priorities and planning should focus.  Are we mutually expanding each other in our spirituality and awareness of our role in the world?  Do we encourage, enlighten, support, and celebrate spiritual growth and change both in ourselves and in each other?  Do we come together to relate as collaborators and friends in the great purpose of living?  Importantly, do we measure or success not by numbers or money, but by changed lives?  Boiled down to one essential question, does this place help people spiritually grow for the better?  I believe we do – and not just by social justice work or serving those who suffer.  By living in community, by interacting with and figuratively embracing each other in gentle and kind ways, we are spiritually growing – and we grow each other too.

John Newton, who wrote the internationally well-known hymn “Amazing Grace”, exemplifies in many ways what I speak of in terms of being born with an immature predisposition toward, but later growing into someone who better understands the meaning of life.

Newton was notoriously rebellious and profane in his early years.  His father got him a job, at age eleven, working on a ship in the hopes the rigorous life would help mature him.  It did not.  He was so rebellious as a teenager and ship crew member that he was punished by being forced to join the British Royal Navy – again hoping that would teach him respect toward others.  It did not.  He deserted the Navy and then joined on as a crewman on a slave trading ship.  That ship encountered a severe storm that nearly sunk it.  And Newton, in a desperate, bargaining prayer, called out to God to save him and, if so, he would change his ways.  The ship was saved and Newton began his path to becoming a Christian. 

But his change was only gradual.  He evolved in his thinking about self, God, and slavery over the next several years until he eventually rejected slave trading.  Returning to England, he became involved in a church.  His change of ways, passion, and interest in religion were such that he was soon noticed by well-known clergy and politicians.  He was ordained as a Minister and joined forces with William Wilberforce, the English politician who led the effort to abolish slave trading and slavery itself.  Soon thereafter, he and an associate composed a hymnal in which was the song “Amazing Grace” – one which he admitted was largely autobiographical.  The hymn quickly became famous – especially in the U.S.

It’s opening line, “Amazing grace!  How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me” was and still is interpreted by many as Newton’s confession for his responsibility helping trade in human life.  In one of his sermons about the hymn, he said, “Sinners are blinded by the god of this world until mercy came to us not only undeserved but undesired.”  He religiously stated my premise for how people spiritually grow.  We’re born immature and self focused, but many of us can and do change for the better to become people who make a positive difference.

       Of course, Newton understood his epiphany in light of Christian theology.  But while he explains his growth being due to God, it is better understood from the perspective of learning and changing not in some sudden salvation experience, but gradually and with dawning awareness that genuine meaning and goodness is defined by how we learn to treat others.

During the campaign to end the slave trade, Newton was a contrite and vivid explainer of its horrors.  He wrote a widely distributed pamphlet that detailed how Africans were captured, forced into chains, and then barely kept alive during the ocean crossing to the Americas.  In one passage, he described what he did on his ship when a slave revolt broke out.  He commanded a canon filled with small pieces of sharp metal and fired it point blank at the crowd of slaves – many of whom were children and severely sick captives.  Such descriptions in the pamphlet were sincere confessions intended to inform people about the terrible cruelty of slavery and the slave trade.  It was a major factor in changeling public opinion and passing the law forbidding the slave trade.

While my own path of spiritual growth went away from God and Christianity, his story nevertheless echoes patterns of my life.  I did not reach a semblance of my current beliefs until I was in my forties and I am still on a path of learning and betterment.  Much of that comes from a dawning awareness that I am flawed and that Ministry for me has been a gift – not as a way to earn a living, but as a way to see all of my imperfections contrasted against the ideals I encourage.  I’m still learning how best to serve and love any person- especially those I disagree with.  And I choose my message topics to improve myself as much as anyone else.  For me, stating a belief is one way to be reminded to practice it.

A few weeks ago, one of the members here, seeing me help clean the kitchen, asked why such work is a part of being a minister.  I responded with something I’ve learned as a minister: never ask someone to do something you yourself are not willing and happy to also do.  That states a spiritual ethic I believe.  We are all ministers, none higher or better than another – and we are each called to grow and change for the better precisely so we can do our share to improve the world.  Beyond that, ministers – and thus all of us – are to be servants with a humility that recognizes serving is highly valued.  It’s not lowly or demeaning in any way.  Ultimately, spiritual growth is to ask yourself if you are regularly making an important and good difference in the world – or not?  Is there more peace, giving, service, and kindness in your home, workplace, church, and / or neighborhood because of you?  Even more, are such qualities increasing in you – because you perceive where you lack and thus seek to grow?

Every member of this congregation believes in making the world better.  But the key to doing so is not just in the doing.  It is also in the becoming.   And that, in a nutshell, is what we do and what the Third UU Principle is all about.  Individually and collectively, Unitarian Universalists pledge to continually, continually! expand their souls to become spiritually enlightened people.  That means, for me, to always be trying to be others  focused with kindness, service, and empathy to all.

I wish you each much peace and joy.

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Re

Key West is one of my favorite places to visit because of its generally relaxed and open minded culture – in of course a tropical setting.  And it’s history proves that point.  Artists like Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, Robert Frost, Wallace Stevens, and Judy Blume were all at least partly drawn to the island because it’s a place with a decidedly open mind about many things.  

As tourist driven as Key West is today, it’s popular because it’s a type of bohemia – a place figuratively at the end of the earth and as far as one can travel south by car in the US to perhaps escape, for a time, the stress of the mainland.  Key West, I think, has a gentle and accepting culture where people can be themselves without judgement.  For many artists, and the LGBTQ community, Key West has always been an oasis of acceptance.   One’s inner truth can be openly expressed here without fear.

And in many ways, this weekend’s Fantasy Fest in Key West, as one version of a Halloween street party, exemplifies that ethos.  During this holiday, someone can be who they want to be by dressing up – or down – in some fun or outlandish costume.  It’s a way to live out one’s fantasies in actual reality – which is the topic of my message this morning.

If we think about it, that’s what most people seek in life.  We want to live true and honestly by being on the outside what we are on the inside – if even for just a short while on Halloween.  How we think, feel, dream, and fantasize in our hearts and minds is also how most people want to outwardly act and speak.  I believe that in order to be genuinely happy, being outwardly true to one’s inner self is a goal to seek after – and hopefully attain.

And that is also what spiritually minded people want.  Instead of just accepting what most world religions say are absolute truths about life, death, and the universe, spirituality instead encourages exploration and an ongoing search for truth.  Religions generally say they have all the answers.  But spirituality says the opposite: instead of answers to life’s great mysteries, it has only questions.  Some answers might be found in one religion, some in another, and some in science, or even from nature itself.  The idea is that capital ’T’ Truth, what I believe is god, that’s elusive, it has yet to be found, and so it must be sought after.  Once again, if we think about it, that’s what we do when we dream, hope or fantasize.  We envision a possible truth about life or about ourselves – and then we determine if it aligns with reality.

For most of us as Unitarian Universalists, the search for Truth is what we have as one of our principles  – and it’s one we try to practice.  From my perspective, Unitarian Universalism perfectly symbolizes the Key West culture of acceptance and open minded exploration.  Instead of adhering to one standard of appearance and mindset, Unitarian Universalists, the people of Key West, and other like-minded people consider and practice multiple ways to think and appear.  

Jesus, of all people, taught that the truth will set a person free.  When we don a costume that expresses a hope, dream, or fantasy, we share a truth about ourselves.  We might dress up as a pirate, an angel, or heroes we admire – perhaps police or fire persons.  For just a short while, we wear what we hope for and think on the inside.  

And that is just the same as what is done here and in all Unitarian Universalist churches.  We ponder and dream of different ways to build a more just and equitable world.  We explore new ideas on what animates the universe.  We also seek ways to be better people who create legacies of kindness and service to others.  In other words, we fantasize about potential new realities – and we are set free from any shame, judgement, religious creeds, or social standards that try to tell people how to think and act.

And for me, that is exactly why I love both Key West and Unitarian Universalist churches.  They are literal and symbolic Edens – places in which we can be who we really are.

I’ve shared before with my congregation in Cincinnati, Ohio how admitting my truth set me free both personally and spiritually.   It’s a long and involved story and I’ll save you the details.  Suffice it to say that for over half my life I felt deep shame about my inward reality of having same-sex thoughts and attractions – even though I did not act on them.  It was not until I realized my dissonant self – thinking one way on the inside while acting a different way on the outside, that I then finally came out and found contentment and peace.

For many years when I was closeted, I desperately wanted not to have gay thoughts and attractions.  I was a Minister in a Christian church and I constantly prayed for god to take away those thoughts and fantasies.  At one point, after I had desperately tried and prayed almost non-stop for several weeks to be inwardly straight – and it hadn’t happened, I cried out to god, with great anguish, asking why he had not answered my prayers.  Had I not devoted my life to him?  Had I not done all I could to change my inner thoughts?  Christianity teaches that if one believes in god and genuinely seeks to be changed, god will make it happen.  But, for me and many other LGBTQ people, he didn’t change me because he couldn’t.  And I say he couldn’t because in my epiphany fifteen years ago, I realized another truth – that god could’t change me because he likely did not exist in the way I had thought he did.  

And that prompted a new theology for me: God is not some supernatural being that controls our lives.  Instead, god-like power is within all of creation and importantly within us.  It is we who have the power, ability and responsibility to build a more compassionate, kind and beautiful world.  In so many ways, we are little ‘g’ gods and goddesses of this world. 

And so my epiphany revealed to me two things.  First, my thoughts, dreams, fantasies, and hopes define me as a gay man.  I just had to make my outward reality conform to my inner truth.  Second, that same inner truth about myself reveled to me that there cannot be a god that condemns me or anyone else.  Instead, I am little ‘g’ god and so are you – and it’s we who must love and accept both love ourselves and other people – just for who we or they are (so long as we do no harm to others.)   

We all dream and fantasize of a perfect world – one in which everybody lives in peace and everyone’s needs are met.  There’s no greed, hatred, anger, or fear in our dreamed for world.  It’s just love, justice for all, and equality.  That kind of perfection has not, of course, come about yet.  But it only will if each person acts according to their inward fantasies for a perfect world – and does their best to make it happen. 

For me, that’s the great beauty of fantasies, dreams and hopes.  We may trivialize them as sexual – or like pie in the sky daydreams that are not grounded in truth.   And yet, that is not so.  Many experts tell us that our fantasies and dreams reveal truth to us – just as they did for me.

While many psychologists no longer believe all that Sigmund Freud proposed about the human mind, his theory that dreams reveal our knee truths is nevertheless still widely accepted.  People often venture into a world of fantasy in order to chart a new direction for themselves.  In order for us to change, we often need to imagine what that will look.  If we seek to lose weight, gain a new skill, come out of the closet, or become more empathetic and kind, we first have to imagine how we do that, what the outcome might be like, and what the benefits are.  By fantasizing of a new and different self, we can then begin a path toward its realization.   Ultimately, healthy fantasies and dreams are not escapes from reality, but rather explorations of its possibility.  Fantasies may or may not exist in a concrete sense, but they do exist as truth.  They can happen if we make them happen – if we act as little ‘g’ gods and goddesses.

Last evening in the various Fantasy Fest parades, I saw some of Key West’s famous drag queens.  They are in many ways the fantasy-reality I’ve spoken about.  Some men appear and act as women.  They bring their inner feminine side, something all men have some degree of, out into the open.  And as somewhat exaggerated women, they are joyous and playful precisely because they are freely expressing something good and real within themselves.

That’s why most experts in psychology say that fantasies and dreams that envision situations and actions which do no harm – actions that exemplify the Golden Rule to treat others like one wants to be treated  herself or himself – that such fantasies are healthy and beneficial.  Such healthy fantasies not only make us happier because we express an inward reality, they also make us happy because they envision something hopeful and positive.

Fantasies can also mentally help people escape trauma.  Those who are depressed or who have been deeply hurt and abused by others, often fantasize about taking back their power.  They envision themselves as strong enough to overcome their sadness, or to no longer allow an abuser to hurt them.  Such fantasizing is usually a path to healing and regaining a love of self.

Fantasies also, experts say, enliven our creative and imaginative minds – to see things of great possibility that, as I said earlier, are usually grounded in reality.  The famous author H.G. Wells described in his fictional nineteenth century books things like space travel, genetic engineering, email, lasers, and nuclear energy.  Back in the 1950’s, the famous Caltech scientist Richard Feynman gave a speech about a fantasy he had of writing the entire Encyclopedia Britannica on the head of pin.  He theorized how using a modified electron microscope as a writing tool could do this – and not only that, but also build things on extremely small scales.   He essentially envisioned the computer microchip which, as we know, continually gets smaller and more powerful.

Finally, I believe healthy fantasies foster empathy.  When we dream of better conditions in the world, when we fantasize about finding a cure for cancer, or eliminating childhood poverty and homelessness, or having a beautifully diverse society, we build empathy for those who hurt because we’ve fantasized about good attitudes becoming reality.  And I believe Fantasy Fest does much the same – building empathy for marginalized people by openly celebrating, with costumes and fun times, the goodness of diversity.  And afterwards many people might be inspired to go out and do something to help those who are affected by discrimination. 

What we need in these troubled times are, indeed, millions of people – like those of you who reside in key West –  who dream and fantasize about good and great attributes in themselves and in all humanity.  Such people don’t accept the status quo in their hearts and minds.  They  envision something better.  We need people who align their fantasies with what is true in the universe and world – people who see the good in themselves and in humanity – and then in turn strive to make it happen. 

That’s why, as I said at the outset, Key West for me a wonderful place. Fantasy Fest, Unitarian Universalists, and places and people around the world like them are equally wonderful.  Let us each endeavor to be fantasizers who are true to themselves, and who are true to the idea of one human family living in a world of compassion, generosity, and equal opportunity for all.

Thank you for listening and I wish you each a happy Fantasy Fest – along with much peace and joy.

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

How does one talk about sex in church?  If the past is any guide, you  don’t.  How do the major world religions address the same topic?  Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Hinduism generally define it as an activity  that is only redeemed because of its reproductive usefulness.  

The predominant message religions promote about sex is that it should be joyless, limited, controlled by men, and acceptable only between a husband and his wife.  Women, when religious scriptures were written thousands of years ago, were considered property and less than men.  They could only have one husband, while men could have many wives.  Women were to be virgins before marriage, and if they were not, no decent man should marry them.  Virginity was NOT required of men before they married.  A female’s destiny was determined by her father, and later by her husband – but never on her terms.  She could not own property.  She could not testify in an any legal case.  She had a status less than that of male servants.  If she was raped, she was forced to marry her rapist.  If she committed adultery, she alone would be punished – usually by stoning to death.  Her partner was usually not punished.  

Jews, Christians and Muslims believed – and many still do – that  women are like the fictional Eve – gullible, prone to sin, and good only for bearing children and tending a home.   Women, having inherited the sinfulness of Eve, supposedly deceive and incite men with sex – and so they must be hidden away not for their protection, but to prevent men from sinning. 

A book entitled Sex at Dawn was published a few years ago that focuses on the evolution of human sexuality.  During pre-historic times,  when humans assembled in small hunter-gatherer groups, the book says people were likely very open and free about sexuality.  Using observations from hunter-gatherer tribes that still exist and from bonobo primates, who are considered the closest human relatives, the book’s authors claim the pre-historic clans were very communal in all they did.  The focus was on group well-being – and not on families.  Men and women freely mated with all members of the group.  Since fatherhood of a child could not be definitively determined, children belonged to the group as a whole.  They were provided for and raised by all.  This attitude toward sex and procreation mostly eliminated competition for mates, it kept peace within the tribe, and importantly reduced stress amongst its members.

Once humans evolved to agrarian based societies, however, people became more concerned about property rights and knowing exactly who were their offspring.  It became essential that men knew exactly who their children were so they could insure the continuity of their property through inheritance.  Men could be as promiscuous as they wished, but women who bore children were severely controlled.  And that led religions and cultures to initiate their sexual rules.  

Sadly, such moralistic and misogynist attitudes about sexuality still survive today.  Human sexuality today is mostly not talked about in polite company, and it is still too often male dominant.  When it is talked about or depicted, it’s often done in ways that hide it, make it seem shameful, or worst of all, in ways that focus on it as arousing.  As puritanical as the culture can often still be, pornography is nevertheless a multi-billion dollar business, and illegal sex slavery is still a scourge.  Theses dysfunctions  point to a disconnect in society about sex – that it is dirty, shameful, and should be kept hidden. 

Widespread sexual harassment, violence, and abuse of women results, I believe, from those attitudes of control and shame.  Some men in our culture still think they can regulate female sexuality and reproductive rights.  It’s historically been OK for men to use and abuse women as they wish – some women for sexual enjoyment, other women for marriage and bearing children.  That approach boils down to patriarchy and the desire of some men to insure they know their offspring who will inherit their property.  Overall, many people today are either embarrassed by the subject of physical intimacy, or have they have dysfunctional thoughts about it.

What is troubling is that it is relatively rare in our culture for there to be open, honest, and unashamed discussions, or depictions, of consensual and equal human sexuality – in ways that describe it as spiritual, beautiful, tender, joyful, healthy, life enhancing, and fun.  Unitarian Universalism is one of the few organizations that promotes and teaches responsible and unashamed human sexuality through its Our Whole Lives – or OWL – programs.  GNH, along with First UU and St. John’s UU,  collaborate in teaching the program to our teenagers.  But OWL has age appropriate curriculum for everyone – from kindergarten aged children up to senior adults.  And the emphasis of each is on healthy sexuality that understands it is a fun and good part of life.

UU’s have also been at the vanguard of progressive views on sexuality by being one of the earliest denominations in the world to ordain both women AND lesbian and gay clergy.  The other was the Metropolitan Community Church denomination which is comprised of mostly LGBTQ members.  UU’s, along with MCC churches, were also the first to sanctify and bless same-sex marriages – in 1984 which was almost thirty years before that became legal.  The UUA also recognizes the Unitarian Universalist Polyamory Awareness organization.  Its mission is to educate and encourage awareness of the philosophy and practice of loving or relating intimately to more than one other person at a time – with honesty and integrity.

While any belief or practice supported by the national UUA does not mean each Unitarian Universalist must believe the same, it does emphasize the UU approach to spirituality.  We support all paths to finding Truth – as long each path does no harm and is consistent with how one wishes to be treated him or herself.  In that regard, open, joyful, responsible, guilt-free, and consensual sexuality that does no harm, no matter its form of expression, is good, moral and right.

And that is why I’ve included romance and physical intimacy in my three part message series this month on the theme, “Are We Having Fun Yet?”  Life is full of challenges and can be quite stressful.  Stress takes a profound toll on our bodies and our minds.  But the antidote to it, experts say, is laughter, play, joyful goofing off, and, as I will assert today, responsible and consensual physical intimacy that is open and joyful.

The irony behind the moralistic and paternalistic approach many world religions have adopted toward sex, is that three of them, Judaism, Christianity and Hinduism, teach an open and unashamed attitude toward it in their scriptures.  Found in both Jewish wisdom literature and in the Christian Bible is the poetry piece entitled “Song of Solomon.”  Found within the Upanishads, the Hindu scriptures, is a piece entitled Kama Sutra – which as many of us know is a frank but joyous teaching on sex.  Both Song of Solomon and the Kama Sutra were written over two-thousand years ago by spiritually minded people who well understood the life giving joy and wonder of sex.

The Song of Solomon is a poem describing the thoughts and words of a young man and young woman in love.  Overall, it is poetry about lovemaking and the yearning, seeking and finding of pleasure between two people.  It was literally thousands of years ahead of its time with regard to sex – and yet ancient rabbis and Christian theologians believed it worthy and valuable enough to include in their scriptures.

The piece was also ahead of its time in the equal way the young woman relates and speaks to both her lover and to the reader.  She was both the pursued AND the pursuer.  This was at a time when women were to be silent, passive and definitely not the initiator of romance.  Even more, the young lady was a woman of color – the poem says this – and she was in love and in lust with a lover who was white.  Finally, Song of Solomon was ahead of its time in championing the playful aspects of sex – apart from its reproductive function.  The lovers were unmarried and yet they engaged in joyous intimacy.  “Eat, friends, drink; and be drunk with love” is what the male lover tells the reader.  In other words, the poem says that physical intimacy is fun, beautiful, and is representative of the spiritual forces that created everything. 

Here are some verses in the Song of Solomon that the young woman says about the young man,

While my lover was on his couch, my nard gave forth its fragrance.  My beloved is to me a bag of myrrh that lies between my breasts.

As an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among young men.  With great delight I sit in his shadow, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.  I will climb the palm tree, I will take hold of its fruit.  My beloved thrust his hand into the opening, and my inmost being yearned for him.  

And here is what he said about her:

I rose up to my beloved and my hands dripped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of her lock.  O queenly maiden!  Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand.  Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks for wine.  May your breasts be for me like clusters of the vine, and your kisses like the best wine that goes down smoothly.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I need a cold shower after reading such verses!  And they are, ironically enough, found in the Bible.  What they indicate is that ancient religious people, despite some of their moralizing and misogyny about sex, were aware enough to understand the goodness and playfulness of it.  Even more, they recognized what my message today speaks to.  If we are to include more fun and laughter in our lives – in order to reduce stress and improve our physical and mental health – then a part of what we include should be more romance and intimacy.

Another ancient religious scripture agrees.  The Kama Sutra is one book among many books in the Hindu Upanishad scriptures.  Kama, in Hinduism, is one of four primary Hindu beliefs about humanity.  Kama focuses on pleasure, desire, and love.  Kama, for Hindus, exemplifies what love should be for humanity – an expression that incorporates the physical, emotional and spiritual sides of life.  Kama, however, must never violate moral responsibility to others.

Sutra simply means instruction and so the Kama Sutra book is an instruction manual for relationships and intimacy.  It is quite open with its descriptions of different ways to make love, its recognition that people might have multiple physical relationships, and its teachings on how to be giving and tender.  Sex ultimately is, the book says, about mutual giving and receiving.

If the Kama Sutra has one drawback, it is its male centric approach.  Men are the leaders in all things romantic and, while they are to be loving and good to their female partners, women are clearly not in control.

Even more than Song of Solomon, however, the Kama Sutra blesses human sexuality.  There is no guilt, shame or sinfulness attached to its responsible expression to a willing partner.  More importantly, the Kama Sutra recognizes that physical intimacy is a gift from the gods – something to be honored and not abused.

I have to admit to a reluctance to speak on this topic.  Like many Ministers, I sometimes think the subject of sex is not one for Sunday mornings – unless it is to repent for what one did the night before!   But my hangups are not healthy, nor are they so for anyone else.  I fundamentally believe that our culture needs to grow out of its immature approach to sex.  Many people want to know all there is about it, but they don’t want to admit it or talk about it.  And that mindset leads, as I said, to dysfunction and harm.  

Jesus told his followers, “Truth will set you free” – and that is so for a knowledge and understanding about physical intimacy.  People both young and old need to know the truth about sex:  that when practiced in healthy and affirming ways, it is good, moral, and for our benefit.  It is clearly a yearning knit into human DNA that makes its pleasure something difficult to resist.  Whatever it is that created us, it made us sexual beings and that is both to insure our species survives, and also to enhance our enjoyment of life.  Without its fun, playfulness, tenderness, equality, and pleasure, our lives would be much diminished.  If we are to enthusiastically answer “Yes!” to the question, “Are We Having Fun Yet,” we should resolve to honor, respect and enjoy all things romantic and intimate.

I wish you each much peace and joy!    

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Some of you may have read the Biblical stories about the life of King David.  Whether the stories are myth or true, that doesn’t matter.  What’s important are the remarkable lessons from his life.  He was a young man who fell in love with his best friend Jonathon – the son of King Saul.  It was a friendship that even the Bible describes as closer than that between a woman and man.  

As a young teen, David was also precocious and cocky.  He claimed to be able to take on the strongest soldier Israel’s enemy had – a warrior  named Goliath.  David was about 13 or 14, skinny and weighing probably 100 pounds.  Goliath was about 25, muscular, 7 feet or more tall, and weighing perhaps 250 pounds.  And David impetuously boasted he could fight him and win – which he did.  He used his cunning to beat Goliath without hand to hand combat.  After he beat Goliath, he became an instant hero who in his late teens was made King of Israel.

And with even greater cockiness, David then led an army to defeat all of Israel’s enemies – people who hated Jews.  After the victory, David returned to Jerusalem for a huge parade.  He was in his prime – lean, strong, handsome, successful, rich, and unmarried.  He knew young women (and perhaps some young men) swooned over him.  

And so instead of marching in the parade in his uniform, he stripped down to his tunic – a short linen garment that served as underwear – and he wore that.  He then proceeded not to march but to dance, whirl, and spin along the streets of the Jerusalem.  It goes without saying that people of the time were mesmerized by the heroic young king.  David knew that and relished in it.

And so his arrogance continued.  While his army went off to fight some more battles, David stayed behind.  And he soon caught sight of a beautiful woman, Bathsheeba, who every evening went to her rooftop patio to bathe.  One evening evening, David saw her bathing and he was immediately in lust.  He went to her and even after finding out she was married, he had his way with her and fell in love.  He then conspired to have her husband, a captain in his army, assigned to the front lines of battle where he was killed.  David essentially murdered him so he could have Bathsheeba.

And then his troubles began.  People soon caught on to his arrogance and treachery.  Jewish political enemies began to conspire against him and raised armies to fight him.  David was forced to flee with his army and he even ended up hiding in caves to avoid defeat.  He remained King, but he was deeply affected by the change in his fame and fortune.  He was now scorned instead idolized.  Seeking redemption, David realized and admitted his selfish, arrogant and murderous ways.  He began to search his soul and resolve to be a better man.  In many ways, David finally grew up.

And it was after his change of ways that he supposedly wrote many  of the Biblical Psalms which are about dealing with life challenges and changing one’s inner flaws and misdeeds.  In a modern translation of Psalm 131, after David had changed his arrogant ways, he allegedly wrote: 

I’m no longer trying to rule the roost,
I don’t want to be king of the mountain.
I haven’t meddled where I have no business
or fantasized grandiose plans. 

I’ve kept my feet on the ground,
I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mother’s arms,
my soul is a baby content.

This Psalm, more than any other, indicates David’s awareness of his failures as a young man and King.  He believed that many of the positive youthful qualities others admired in him – courage, playfulness, persistence, and imagination – allowed him to also be arrogant, impulsive, selfish and lacking in self-control.  Ultimately, what Psalm 131 indicates is that David finally understood the difference between the good attributes of being childlike, and the negative attributes of being childish.

And that, in a nutshell, is my lesson for today with the message title “It’s OK to not to act our age.”  For anyone aged 1 to 100, it’s good, healthy and fun to be  childlike in ways that David was – curious, playful, and willing to take risks.

But for any person of any age, it’s almost never good, healthy or right to act childish in ways that David also was – selfish, cocky, and impetuous.

In other words, for any of us – young, middle aged, or a senior, it’s OK not to act our age.  It’s healthy to live according to my theme this month to have fun.  In other words, it’s good to be childlike.  But it’s not good to be childish.

Last week, my message asked “Are We Having Fun Yet?”  And I said we should!  Being more fun loving is a necessary attitude for our survival.  Yes, we deal with serious challenges in life and must address them responsibly.  But the stress on our bodies and minds can be too much.  Just this past Friday the New York Times highlighted a study indicating stress is the cause of a number of chronic and often deadly diseases.  It’s essential we find ways to reduce stress.  One way is that our brains are wired to help us reduce stress by occasionally flooding our bodies with a hormone, dopamine, to counteract anxiety, worry, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, and elevated heart rates.  Dopamine, however, is only released when we experience pleasure and that often comes when we laugh, play, recreate, goof-off and have plain old fun.  We should not be so serious and instead be more playful.

And David lived a life that often exemplified that attitude.  He had fun.  He enjoyed dancing, romance, and good times with friends.  He was, in many ways childlike, perhaps so he could handle the many serious responsibilities he faced as King.

        The stories of David appear in the Old Testament, but the New Testament endorses the lessons of his life.  Jesus admonished adults who who tried to banish children from his presence.  The greatness of children, he taught, is that they are playful, full of wonder, and pure of heart – and adults should be much more like them.

But my message this week also points out the negative side of not acting in ways appropriate for any person, of any age.  David was childish in thinking he could do and have whatever he wanted.  He was an adult who had never grown out of being a spoiled brat.

That underlines my theme.  It’s important for to be playful and have fun and not act our age.  That’s both OK and good.

It may be surprising to hear, but as serious as I can often be, I enjoy occasionally letting my hair down and having what I think is childlike fun with Keith and friends.  I occasionally go to a dance club in Florida where I let loose, dance with abandon, and sadly prove – without caring at all – that I have no rhythm.

Every month here in Cincinnati I also enjoy going to what is called a Sunday Tea Dance.  Tea Dances originated in the 1970’s for the LGBTQ community to spend a few hours on Sunday afternoons dancing, having a drink or two, and feeling safe in a diverse assembly of straight, lesbian, gay, female, male, young, old, black, and white friends.  Two Proctor and Gamble executives renewed that tradition here in Cincinnati about a year ago.  The parties are now extremely popular, free of charge, open to everyone, and attracting between 400 and 1000 people each month.  There is one today at 4:00 PM at the Freedom Center.

The sad thing for me is that a few well-meaning but judgmental people tsk-tsk what I, Keith, and my similarly aged friends do.  “Act your age!” is what they tell me.  “Nobody over thirty should be in a dance club rocking and rolling and acting silly.”

And that kind of ageism happens to many seniors.  “You’re too old to do that job” or “You’re too old to go back to school” or “Slow down and act your age – and not your shoe size” or “You should retire and just fade away.”

Equally as concerning is what many young people are told in much the same – but opposite way.   “You’re too young to drive” or “You’re too young to have responsibility” or “You’re not mature and wise enough to be taken seriously.”

There is in our culture a judgmental attitude towards people of any age that they should act according to a stereotype of how people their age supposedly should act.  But the question is, just how should a 20, 40, 60 or 80 year old act?  

        Millennials are mocked for supposedly being immature and self-focused.  Those over 60 are marginalized for supposedly being technologically inept, set in their ways, weak, infirm, and worst of all – living reminders that death awaits us all.  Ageism – for people of any age – seems to be the one form of discrimination that is rarely rebuked.

What we need, as the title of my message suggests, is an attitude that it’s OK NOT to act our numerical age!

In that regard, I leave you with a few suggestions on how to be more childlike.

Be present and live in the moment – much like a child.  Children don’t have much of a past and they don’t care about the future.  They embrace the joy of right now.

Be creative and imaginative.  We should each find something creative to do – draw, paint, sculpt, bake, write, cook, plant.

Get outdoors.  I believe there is nothing so elemental, primal and youthful as exulting in a walk, a hike, a swim, or quietly observing and  listening to nature.

Be in awe and ask lots and lots of questions.  This should come easy for Unitarian Universalists.  We admit we don’t have answers to life’s great questions and so we are open minded and accepting of all.  Albert Einstein said it best, “Those who can no longer pause to wonder and stand in rapt awe are as good as dead…”

Take risks.  Be vulnerable.  Change yourself once in a while.  I think it’s healthy to be adventurous, try new foods, change your hairstyle, or the clothing style you regularly wear.

         Be romantic.  I’ll elaborate on this next week, but adult physical intimacy and consensual touch is fun, healthy, and spiritual – no matter our age.  

Most of all, we should heed the lesson of King David – the dangers of being childish, but the goodness of not acting our age and always being childlike.

          As a follow-up, take a look at this video about never acting our age…

(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Please click here to listen to the message:

        Three atheists die – and together approach the Pearly Gates of Heaven.  St. Peter is surprised to have atheists seek entrance to the heavenly realm but, being in a good mood he decides to give them a chance.

“I’ll allow you entry into heaven if you can explain to me the meaning of Easter,” he tells them.

The first atheist hems and haws as the wheels figuratively spin in his mind.  “Oh, oh, I know,” the atheist finally says.  “It’s about an old man with a grey beard, dressed all in red.  He has eight reindeer and he spends his time giving presents to people who are good.”

“Wrong,” says Peter as he pushes a big red button that causes this atheist to fall into eternal damnation.

Seeing that, the second atheist is visibly shaken.  She timidly says, “I think Easter is about a bunny that hops from house to house giving away painted eggs.”

“Nope,” says Peter.  This atheist then screams as Peter pushes the red button and a hole in the cloud opens up and she falls away.

The third atheist smugly approaches Peter.  With a confident voice he says, “I know all about Easter.  I took a comparative religion class.  Jesus is arrested after being betrayed by Judas – one of his apostles.  He’s dragged before Pontius Pilate who condemns him to death.  Jesus is nailed to a cross and, after dying, he’s buried in a tomb that is sealed with a large rock.”

St. Peter smiles and is very pleased.  Finally, there is an atheist who knows what it means to be a Christian.  But just as Peter is about to push a green button to open up the pearly gates, the third atheist continues…

“And after three days in the tomb, Jesus pushes aside the rock and emerges to see if he can see his shadow.  If he does, there will be six more weeks of winterrrrrrrrrr….,” as he screams and falls into the fiery pit.

I love Unitarian Universalist and atheist jokes.  It may seem weird but I appreciate how UU’s and atheists are mostly unique in their ability to laugh at themselves.  For a denomination that can often seem earnest and very serious, UU jokes show our playful and fun side.

There’s the story about two churches and a synagogue that were built side by side.  One of them catches fire and soon all three are up in flames.  The Christian congregation rushes into their building to save the one thing that is important to them – the cross over the altar.  The Jewish members rush into their synagogue and save the cherished Torah scrolls.  The Unitarian Universalists  rush into their burning church to save what is most meaningful to them.  They emerge from the burning building carrying their meeting room conference table…

On an airplane that is about to crash, some passengers begin to cry, some assume a protective crash position, and many others pray.  But a Unitarian Universalist minister stands up and tries to form a committee to discuss air safety…

A young woman walks into a fabric stores and asks to buy fifteen yards of see-through lace material.  “What are you going to make?” the clerk asks. “I’m getting married and I want to make a negligee to wear for my new husband.”  “That’s nice,” says the clerk.  “But fifteen yards is way too much material for a negligee.”  The woman replies, “I know, but my fiancé is a Unitarian Universalist and they would rather seek than find.”

And finally, what is the Unitarian Universalist definition of sin?  A discussion group in which everyone agrees with each other.

I decided to begin my message with a few jokes to hopefully create a more lighthearted atmosphere.  I enjoy laughter and fun as much as anyone but my default is to be serious.  That is likely reflected in many of my messages where I focus on weighty subjects that might be food for thought – but are hardly food for fun.

And so my message series for this month will ask the question, “Are we having fun yet?”  That question is, itself, funny with its sarcastic and playful query.  If one is truly having fun, he or she doesn’t have to ask if they’re having it.  A person just feels it.

My former wife and I enjoyed asking “Are we having fun yet” to each other on a family trip to Disney World many years ago.  Standing in the hot sun, in the middle of a long lines to get on rides that last two minutes, we frequently turned to each other to ask that question.  As two serious adults, we finally agreed we were indeed having fun after seeing our daughters’ excitement and delight  – which was infectious precisely because they weren’t being serious.  They had abandoned themselves to the make believe and the fun.  That’s something I usually fail to do – but I shouldn’t.

In an ironic way, though, having fun is serious stuff.  Virtually all animals engage in what can only be called play.  Dogs, chimps, bears, penguins, whales and horses spend a lot of time engaging in playful activities that have nothing to do with survival activities – like seeking food, finding a mate, or raising offspring.  Scientists therefore believe that having fun is not wasted time and energy, but is instead a very serious way to diminish stress, recharge the brain, and build relationships.

Every animal and person experiences stress from the challenges of living.  We feel stressed and anxious because our brains, in the middle of a challenge, cause the release of the hormone cortisol which raises our blood pressure, heart rates and metabolism – all so one can deal with stressful challenges.  But the longterm effects of stress and cortisol cause permanent damage to the body.

Dopamine is the antidote to too much stress and cortisol.  It is the feel good hormone released with eating and sex – but also during any playful or fun activity.  Dopamine lowers blood pressure and heart rates and produces a feeling of happiness and even euphoria.  Our brains have thus been hardwired to help us deal with stress by causing pleasure from various activities – and many of those activities are to play, laugh and have fun.  In other words, having fun is an ironically serious activity necessary for long term survival – because doing so reduces feelings of stress and the toll it takes on our bodies.

Unfortunately, adulthood and our American culture often encourage us to do the opposite of having fun.  People are told they should always be busy doing something productive and work related.  America is the only industrialized country that does not legally require any paid vacation time for its workers.  Every country in the European Union, however, requires paid time off.  Even Germany, with its often serious work ethic, requires three weeks of paid time off for all workers.  

Beliefs against fun and play in our nation come from, I believe, our stern, Puritan heritage.  The American Judeo-Christian religious tradition has historically said that most forms play are immoral because they encourage indulgence and sensuality.  The religious adage that, “Idle hands are the devil’s playthings” reinforces this notion that fun is somehow evil.  Many American religions today – especially fundamentalist ones – believe dancing, upbeat music, drinking alcohol, eating a good meal, and of course sex should all be severely limited.  They believe in a theology of original sin and in the evil nature of our flesh.  Anything that makes our bodies and minds feel pleasure is bad.  Only our spiritual selves are good and so we must deny our flesh and encourage our spirits.    

Perhaps worst of all, modern culture often imposes this puritanical attitude on youth.  Many schools have shortened or eliminated recess time in order to prioritize academics.  Many of today’s children have after school schedules that emphasize structured activities and minimize free play.  While some adults believe structured activities are forms of play, experts disagree.  True play, they say, should be random, creative, and most of all unstructured.  Any form of recreation that is organized and regulated by adults is not the kind of free play experts believe children need.

I may be an old guy who talks about the so-called good old days, but I remember when I was growing up that hordes of kids in my neighborhood engaged in totally free play after school and on weekends.  We played tag, rode our bikes, built forts and treehouses, and organized our own games with our own rules.  We may not have learned a specific activity skill, but we gained what experts say is the kind of creativity, independence and free thought that children need.  Such play allows any person – particularly children – to learn how to interact with others on their own terms, and without the guidance of adult rules that can limit growth.    

Today, when I drive through many neighborhoods in the late afternoon and on weekends, I don’t see many kids out playing.  And that is not just due to indoor video games and smartphones.      

The National Institute of Play – a name that sounds way too serious – says that our culture defines too many activities as play when they are not.  They are, instead, forms of structured work that don’t allow for make believe or relaxation.  That results in what the institute believes is an American fun deficit that has created a health crisis in the form of increased rates of adult and childhood depression, anxiety and irritability.  What people need more of, they believe, is time to just goof off. 

Surprisingly, I think some Unitarian Universalists have bought into the mindset of busy-ness and the seeming evils of unstructured play.   UU’s can often be too serious with their services, committees, and religious education.   And Ministers like me can often encourage such seriousness.  Congregations exist for important reasons, but it’s too often forgotten that the most important reason UU churches exist is to foster the well-being of their members and the wider community.  And having fun has been proven, as I discussed earlier, to be in our self-interest.

Once again, however, irony enters the picture.  Unitarian Universalistism, perhaps more than any other spiritual endeavor, ought to recognize the importance and the morality of fun and play.  UU’s, unlike members of other religions, are not constrained by creeds that focus on supposed sin.  With principles that emphasize human well-being, Unitarian Universalists philosophically support the good in any activity that does no harm and that is freely engaged in by the participants.  

In that regard, the universal ethic of the Golden Rule applies – all pleasurable activities are permissible if they affect others in ways that a person wants for oneself.  As long as any activity is not forced or contrary to what we want for ourselves, then it is good and completely moral.  And Unitarian Universalists should therefore practice what they believe by being a bit less serious and more fun loving in all they do.

I can’t tell you, however, how to have fun.  Fun is a highly subjective feeling.  Most experts suggest that something is fun if doing it is pleasurable, amusing, lively or playful.  They point to activities like laughter, singing, dancing, time spent in nature, communal meals, kissing and intimacy, movies, theatrical plays, reading good books, travel, picnics, games played with others, and mild exercise as ones that are fun for most people.

And to have regular fun, experts say we should compile a list of 20 activities that give us pleasure – and then we should resolve to engage in at least one of them every day.  That may seem like another daily chore we are supposed to do – and experts say we may feel that way at first.  But the way our brains are wired, as I described earlier, means that the fun we have will make us feel good.  Our dopamine levels will increase and that in turn will make us feel less stress, more happy, and WANT to repeat playful activities.

Of course, balance is everything.  As the proverb says, “All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy……..But all play and no work, makes Jack a mere toy.”

Most importantly, having regular fun enhances our ability to achieve what I believe is the human purpose for living.  We exist to improve the world by how we act, speak, and serve.  But we are unable to do that unless we first meet our own needs – and as I hope I’ve indicated, one of our human needs is to reduce life stress through play.   

Are we having fun yet?  For our own well-being, and for our ability to make a positive difference in the world, let’s resolve to say an emphatic yes to that question as often as possible!  

Please click here to listen to the message.

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The famed mountaineer George Mallory might be the first man to have successfully climbed Mt. Everest – 30 years before we know for sure it happened.  Mallory and his climbing partner were last seen on June 8, 1924 only 800 feet below the summit.  They were never seen or heard from again.  For decades, their disappearance remained a mystery.

In 1999, an expedition to find Mallory’s body was successful.  George Mallory was remarkably well preserved.  His head was pointed up toward the summit.  He was face down with his fingers dug into the rocky soil.  His feet were likewise dug into the soil.  It’s surmised that he and his partner lost their footing in loose rocks on their way down from the mountain top.  He had begun the climb with a picture of his wife and daughter in his pocket – which he intended to leave on the summit.  There was no such picture found on his body which leads many to think he successfully climbed the mountain. 

Two years before, Mallory was asked why he wanted to climb Mt. Everest.  He answered with his famous line, “Because it’s there” and then he elaborated.   “Nothing will come of it,” he said.  “We shall not bring back a single bit of gold or silver…We shall not find a single foot of earth that can be planted with crops to raise food…So, if you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself – upward and forever upward – then you won’t see why we go.”

For George Mallory, his life meaning was to meet challenges head-on and then hopefully conquer them.  It’s symbolic that his body was found with his fingers and feet dug into the mountain side, he died not giving up hope and still looking forever upward toward the challenge, and meaning, of his life.

My intent this month has been to look at three of the seven Unitarian Universalist Principles to find additional inspiration from them.  I’ll look at another three in November.  Today, I’ll consider the fourth Principle, “A free and responsible search for truth and meaning.”

In Victor Frankl’s well known book Man’s Search for Meaning, which he wrote after surviving the Holocaust, he asked, “What is the one thing that gives life value?”  Frankl then answered his question.  It is not pleasure, power, fame or money that gives life value.  It is meaning.  

George Mallory clearly had meaning for his life – and he died in its pursuit.  But for Frankl, the meaning of life was bigger.  Life meaning for him was hope expressed through love.  He witnessed during four years in concentration camps that physically strong persons were not those who survived.  They often felt defeated by hardship – and then died.   Frankl said that those who survived did so because they found hope in living for a higher purpose – which was love for others.  For Frankl, he held on to the hope he had to see his beloved wife again – as well as his concern and service to fellow prisoners.

Both Mallory and Frankl believed that without having meaning, there is no point to go on living.  And while some find life meaning in the pursuit of pleasure, which Sigmund Freud said is the primary motivator for people, Frankl and Mallory emphatically said no.  A worthy life meaning is not in serving our desires, but in serving a higher purpose – to face life challenges with courage and to selflessly serve the needs of others.

I believe the UU Fourth Principle endorses what George Mallory and particularly Victor Frankl said about life meaning.  Reading the fourth principle we see that the free and responsible search for truth and meaning is exactly what they advocated.  And for me, the two key words in the Fourth Principle are “responsible search.”

For any person, a search for what is true and meaningful is a fundamental obligation.  Ultimately, I believe a search for truth is a search for what might be called god.  As I’ve said here before, capital ’T’ Truth, for me, is god.  It is what the ancient Romans called axis mundi.  Translated literally, axis mundi is the cosmic – but figurative – axis or pole around which all else is centered.   Everything in the universe functions and operates based on it.  For religious people, the axis mundi is God, Yahweh, Allah or Brahmin – the supernatural creative being that made and controls everything.       

Unfortunately, however, religions don’t allow for an ongoing search for Truth.  For them, it’s already been found – God is the axis mundi so there is no need to look further.  All existence can be explained by her.

World religions further believe there is no need to search for meaning either.  For them, meaning is found in obeying, honoring and worshipping God.  There is no greater purpose in life, for Christians, Jews, Hindus and Muslims, than to love and obey the one great, all-powerful, and all-knowing deity.

For most other people, and particularly for us as Unitarian Universalists, we are not satisfied with such an absolute answer to the question, “What is Truth?”  It could be God, or it could be some other unifying force that explains everything.  As UU’s, we admit we don’t know the answer and so, as stated in the Fourth Principle, we affirm and promote the responsible search for an answer to the question “What is Truth?” or “What is God?”

Beyond that search, we also undertake a search for meaning.  Since nobody knows for sure if there is a God or not, we do not find meaning in worshipping her.  So we search for a life meaning that is responsibly provable and good.  To seek knowledge of new things, to seek a better world through loving and serving others, to seek betterment of one’s attitudes, speech and actions – these are clearly beneficial and responsible searches.  I believe we undertake all of those searches in here. 

Indeed, one of the definitions of the word “responsible” from the Merriam Webster dictionary is that anything is “responsible” if it is trustworthy and the total opposite of evil or wrong.

Unitarian Universalists, therefore, do not affirm and promote poorly considered searches for Truth and meaning, or ones that do not promote well-being.  In our search for Truth and meaning, the the fourth principle asks to to be prudent, reasonable, and attuned to what is ethical and right.  In other words, responsible.   In that sense, Truth and meaning won’t be  found in a Freudian pursuit of selfish pleasure.  That isn’t beneficial for anyone other than one individual.  

Wherever ultimate Truth and meaning are found, and whatever they may prove to be, we intuitively know that they will be good, beautiful and beneficial to all creatures and to all existence.  As I have said, that’s my definition of God even though I have yet to discover capital ’T’ Truth.  And so I search and so do all of you.

Our search is one that began with the dawn of humanity.  While some found security by believing they’ve found Truth in a religion, others like the philosophers Plato, Aristotle, Rene Descartes and John Locke found greater security in searching – just as the fourth Principle affirms.  Truth, for these philosophers, is an objective reality found through reason and observation. It is not by faith that Truth is discovered, but by our responsible minds.

There are thus two competing answers to the question of, “What is Truth?”  People of religious belief say that, for them, ultimate Truth is known by faith.  Since we will never be able to see God on this side of death, they say, we can know her – or Truth – only by sincere faith.  But equally good and sincere people believe that such faith is unprovable and thus unsatisfying.

Fredrich Nietzsche, the philosopher who is famously known for declaring “God is dead”, proposed we look for Truth and meaning in whether anything is life enhancing or life diminishing.   Without knowing it, he was a Unitarian Universalist!  For something to be life enhancing is to be responsible and trustworthy.  His suggestion to serve for Truth by what is life enhancing is exactly what we affirm.  We study, we read, we ponder, we listen, and we keep open minds to everything that is loving and beneficial.  

I don’t know about you, but that’s why I try – not always successfully – to be more loving, humble, kind, non-judgmental, and equality minded.  Whatever any of us think about the usefulness of attending a community like ours, I believe it’s invaluable.  There are not many places in the world where people are encouraged and celebrated for responsibly seeking Truth and meaning, and also gently reminded when they fall short.

I was recently reminded, in this community, of how I had fallen short in a responsible search for Truth.  That was both embarrassing and good.  I not only realized my mistake, but also my need to work all the harder to be better.  And I don’t think I would have realized that without good people in this community telling me so.  They didn’t do so to attack me, but to help me – and thereby help others – because I hopefully won’t make the same mistake again.  

For all those who say spiritual communities like GNH are of little use, I strongly disagree.  Not only can we point to the many ways we help enhance lives in Cincinnati, we can point to the often unknown but nevertheless vital ways we enhance life for our members and staff.  We mutually encourage in one another goodness, kindness, and a search for all that is true.  That’s a very big deal.  Whenever any of us doubt this place, the work we do, or whether GNH has value, please remember: This congregation makes the world a better place.   That is precisely because we seek life-enhancing Truth about ourselves and the universe.

The search for Truth, dear friends, is not a destination but a journey.  It is a life long journey to listen, learn and understand.  It is a journey to love and be kind.  It is a journey to heal the self and heal the world.  Let us explore, let us question, let us believe, and let us doubt but, I pray, may we never take for granted or cease a responsible search for Truth and meaning.

I wish you all peace and joy. 

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

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It is an amazing fact that the biological similarity between animals and humans is very high.  Almost all animals, including us – since we too are animals – have the same organs and organ systems.  In every animal, these systems perform identical functions.  

In veterinary science, over 90% of all drugs used to treat animals are the same as those used to treat humans.  Humans and many animals also  share a lot of the same DNA.  A mouse, for instance, shares 99% of its genes and DNA with us.

My father, who was a plastic surgeon, regularly used pig cadavers to practice surgeries he would later perform on people – especially for burn and traumatic injury repairs.  Pig skin and tissue are virtually the same in us. 

Beyond biological sameness, anthropologists say many animals share the basic emotions we have – those of anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise.  In animals like dogs, cats, horses and primates, they even exhibit complex human emotions of jealousy, sympathy, guilt and shame.  And, as all pet owners will agree, those animals share with us the complex emotion of love – between themselves… and between they and us.

More fundamentally, animals have implicit worth because they are animate andconscious beings.  The 2012 Cambridge Declaration of Consciousness, which emerged from a conference of scientists including physicist Steven Hawking, said that most animals have conscious experience – meaning they are aware of themselves as separate beings and of their individual place within nature.  Consciousness has been proven even in animals that lack a frontal brain cortex that allows for high level reasoning.  Octopuses, as an example, are highly intelligent and have conscious awareness – even though they lack a frontal cortex.

This was and is important because it places animals on the same level of sacredness as humans.  They have value and spiritual essence the same as we do – and they deserve rights of ethical treatment and decency as well.  It echoes what virtually all world religions believe.  There is oneness and interdependence between all of life – and all life therefore has specialness and value.

This month I’m examining in my three messages some of the seven Unitarian Universalist Principles.  Today, one on which we celebrate and bless our pets, it’s a perfect opportunity to look at the Seventh UU Principle which says that, “We affirm and promote respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.”

For me, interdependence means connection with other things based on mutual reliance.  As humans, we rely on every part of the universe in order to survive.  And other things that exist rely on us to protect them, live in balance with them, and allow them to thrive.  When we damage mutual connections with other forms of life, or other parts of the universe, we threaten not only their well-being, but our own survival too.

We thus share an implicit oneness with everything.   I compare our  oneness with everything in nature to the cells in our bodies.  Each cell has a unique function – but no single cell can survive and thrive without all of the other cells working in harmony and collaboration.  And when some cells begin to function independently from other cells, as in cancer cells for instance, the entire body is put in jeopardy.  And it is an ironic truth that by harming the whole, those independent cells eventually harm themselves.  When a person dies from cancer, the cancer cells die too.

Using that analogy, we as humans cannot act as cancer cells within the one human family, or within nature and the universe.  It’s our duty, for the well-being of all things – and of ourselves – to act inter-dependently.  Following up on my message last Sunday, spiritually minded people should collaborate and work together.  We should feel the oneness between our sister humans, between us and animals, between us and the air, water, and dirt, and then outward between us and the cosmos.

Interestingly, psychologists say studies show that people who deeply believe in a oneness between all things are far more compassionate, empathetic and generous people.  The humility of mind that it takes to be unselfish within nature, to see ourselves as very minor parts of the cosmos, is the same attitude that it takes to act and speak with kindness and humility to one another.

Most of us are that way – or we sincerely try to be.  People who love animals are that way.  My partner Keith is one such person.  I’m always amazed when he and I walk down a street and encounter someone walking a dog.  The pet is immediately drawn to Keith as a friend.  Keith deeply loves animals – and they intuitively know that.  But that same kindness and gentleness of spirit is one he shows people too.  And, as I said, I know that is true in many other people.  To be someone who serves and loves animals is usually to be someone who serves and loves people.

For me, it’s a spiritual battle to act true to the oneness I believe I have with all people, creatures and things.  Albert Einstein commented on the selfishness he often saw in humans by saying, “We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest.”  In other words, Einstein said we can sometimes wrongly act not as one with the other people, animals or things, but as superior or dominant to them. 

I too often forget that the food I eat and the air and water I consume should all be treated ethically and compassionately.   If they are like the cells in my body, how is it that I can look the other way at cruel treatment of fellow animals, or disregard polluting the air, water and land by me, my car, my home?  Even more, I often fail to love my fellow humans with the collaboration I desire for myself.  I can too often not act interdependently – and instead act like a cancer cell.

But sometimes failure in me is why I’m here – not just to be a minister, but for all of us to be ministers to each other and to the outside world.  Perhaps that’s why the Principle imploring us to respect the interdependence of all things is the seventh and last one – it’s the highest and most important spiritual ethic we should practice.  How we love and treat our sister creatures is a window into how we treat one another.  Today, we have not just asked for a blessing on animals and pets.   We  have humbly acknowledged how animals bless us far more than the reverse.

There are literally thousands of stories of how animals have loved and blessed humans.

One such story you can find on YouTube is of Linda Koebner who courageously rescued two chimpanzees from an abusive laboratory.  She then formed a bond of affection with the chimpanzees Doll and Swing as she healed them from their traumas.  Afterwards, she placed the chimps in a Florida refuge for abused primates.

Eighteen years later, Linda returned to the refuge to reunite with them.  But would they remember her?  Her reunion was documented on video.  As she approached them, the chimps immediately recognized Linda.  They embraced her, smiled broadly, and smothered her with hugs and kisses.  They were overjoyed.  This was not a human and chimp encounter.  It was a reunion of friends who loved one another.

In just a moment, you’ll watch today’s mindful media video about another rescue – this one between a dog and a man.  As you’ll see, who rescues who?  It’s a story not just for a man and his pet, but one for ALL relationships.  Can humans be drawn together by the high ethic of mutuality and love, or will our species and all of nature be destroyed by our selfish minded divisions and false beliefs that we alone are right and others are wrong?  Let us find in the love between us and our pets the blessing of universal oneness between all existence.  Let us be interdependent people.