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July 24, 2011, Guest Speaker Doug Meredith, "Municipal Spirituality"
You take a certain mix of mud, press it into moulds and fire it in a kiln at 900 degrees celcius. Limeand ash are often added to speed the process.Does anyone know how asphalt is turned out?You distill it from petroleum in a vacuum, then heat the result to burn away the remaining impurities.After that, it’s kept at 150 degrees celcius so it stays liquid until needed.What about concrete? Aluminum? Steel? Mortar? The list is endless and most of us would be bored todeath learning how each one is made, but there are elaborate processes that make them all possible.On a hot summer day like this it’s tempting to curse the asphalt and concrete jungle. The heat justradiates like a oven. Yet after blessing the natural wonders of earth, air, and water in June, I’d like totake a moment and bless that most human of wonders: the city.Consider: to make a single modern brick, we would need to dredge up quality clay, create a mould,construct a specific type of kiln, and get ahold of enough coal, propane or oil to heat said kiln to ninetimes the boiling point of water. To create the walls of this building, we’d need to do that roughly44,000 times. Even then, we’d still only have a shell. What about the plumbing? Wiring? Wooden andmetal supports? Drywall and floor? Again the list goes on and on.There are roughly one thousand buildings in the half a square mile that is Over the Rhine. The city ofCincinnati alone is 78 square miles.The scale here is too huge for the human mind, so let me give you just one comparison: if you tookall the bricks from just OTR, you could create a building three times the height of the Empire StateBuilding.And that’s just bricks.Too often our familiarity with the city breeds apathy or contempt, but we live and work in anecosystem no less complex and AMAZING than the oceans or forests. And no less delicate. Howmany human lives are dedicated to paving our roads, building our homes, pumping water and pushingelectricity? How many people does it take to raise and move the food for over two million hungrybellies? And we do it all without any central plan, and very few people even thinking about the biggerpicture. Everyone else is just doing a job.We need to open our eyes to the staggering immensity and intense beauty of a city just as much as wewould an ocean. We must rise above the day to day humdrum and tap into a municipal spirituality noless intense and alien and awe-inspiring than the rustling forests or the teeming seas. Why should themigration patterns of the day worker be any less fascinating than those of geese? Because the worker isa human, and therefore less interesting?If there’s a lesson that municipal meditation could teach us, it’s that we are surrounded by masses ofother people who are individually just as unique and alien as another species. It can foster in us a driveto savor and value those differences among one another, if we break out of our little bubbles longenough to see it.Because that’s what people mean when they talk about feeling isolated in a big city: that there’s toomany other humans for them to be anything but faceless masses. But the fault there lies not in the city,but in ourselves. Walking to get groceries, or stuck in traffic, we don’t want to or simply can’t wrap ourbrains around the sea of lives we’re swimming in. The dramas, the insights, the follies and the wisdoms.To encompass it all would be too much. We can’t live on that skyscraper/mountaintop, so we build littlemental walls within which only our friends, our thoughts, our feelings really exist. Then we bunkerdown in this convenient solipsism and forget that it’s just a convenient lie.We also struggle in the United States with the Puritanical outlook on our metropoli. We’re brought upto think of them as decadent, corrupt, amoral and parasitic. They’re all just one step away from beingmodern Sodoms. Hell, for a long time, New York City’s nickname was “Babylon on the Hudson”, justwaiting for God to strike it down. That’s even why a lot of people move to the big city. That’s whatmost Americans would think of if we asked them to describe “big city living”. Humans are fallencreatures, and cities are the work of human hand, so they must be tainted by sin too. Only by escapingthem for small towns dedicated wholly to Righteous Living can we hope to purify ourselves forHeaven. This is what our Puritan ancestors have taught us.By combining convenient solipsism and blind, moralistic disdain into one package, we degrade the cityas unworthy of awe or reverence. We can easily convince ourselves that nothing good comes out ofhere: just crime, vice, pollution and arrogance. Only nature is pure and fruitful, productive in beautifuland holy ways. Cities are the problem. Wide open, untrammeled spaces are the solution.Make no mistake: a city IS the work of humanity. From downtown to suburbia, each one is a testamentto everything we ARE: social, creative tool-using creatures. Cities are spaces created by humans forhumans to inhabit and work in, period. And put like that, it’s kinda hard to see why we should admirethem. But the phrase is just as accurate, and just as much an understatement, as saying “forests are alot of trees put together with some animals chucked in”. In the construction of such a uniquely homosapien space, our creation became greater than the sum of its parts, an entity that is us writ large acrossthe canvas of geography.As millions of people swirl through its veins, our metropolis moves and grows. It consumes andcreates. As it ages, it acquires personality and history, something inclusive of, but separate from, thepeople within it. It has passions and whims, fads and fashions. It is an archetype that speaks in thevoice of US. For good and for ill.More than that, the city has shaped humanity as much as humanity has shaped it. Citizen, civility,police, politic, policy, urbane… cities have quite literally civilized us. We’ll have to forgive themfor also giving us politicians. Cities invented the first systems of writing. They gave us roads andcommerce. Cities gave us democracy. Laws. Also lawyers, but we’ll forgive them that as well.Without Athens there would have been no Socrates, no Plato, no Aristotle. Without Babylon,Hammurabi would not have been a Lawgiver. Would Muhammad have been inspired without Meccaand Medina? Would the Renaissance have been half so memorable and cherished without Leonardo daVinci? Michaelangelo? Machiavelli and Thomas More? Could it have existed at all without Florenceor Rome or Constantinople? Would Sir Isaac Newton have made such a big splash without the RoyalSociety of London? Without Cambridge?Stripped of our municipalities, put back in a “state of nature”, we would lose the greatest tool forhumanity to express its taxonomy: homo sapiens sapiens. “Man who thinks about thinking”. What isthinking about thinking if not philosophy? Poetry? Art? Now plenty of brilliant people have come fromor retreated to nature for inspiration, but who would have known without cities to take in and spreadtheir work? Thoreau might have written Walden in splendid isolation, but how would we have read itwithout the printers of Boston?Cities have often been on the forefront of our advances in social and political equality, as well. Moderndemocracy was the invention of a polis, made reality by the wealth and influence of urbanites, andcontinually renewed by citizens every day. It was from cities that women first organized to demand theright to vote. The first unions came from urban factory workers. Most of the focused drive behind theabolitionists could be found there as well.Certainly the LGBT rights movement we know today wouldn’t exist if not for its twin homelands ofNew York City and San Francisco. In cities we broke free from our sense of isolation. We felt thepower in numbers for the first time. We saw through the propaganda and ignorance to understandeach other as whole, ethical, and mostly sane humans. And from cities we took the first steps towardsnational and international equality.The first lesson such a large collection of other people teaches us is toleration. Where but a city canyou look out your window and see so many people so very different from you? Where else can gowander and hear languages that you can’t even guess at? Where else can you get good Thai food next toa mosque at 3AM? All that difference requires courtesy and finesse we don’t even realize we’ve pickedup, because its as much a part of city living as learning how to deal with smog alert days. That’s notto say toleration is a universal trait. Cities have riots and mobs, bigotry and discrimination. We can’tforget that it was city living which gave us the ghetto. But I think xenophobia is harder to maintainwhen you’re forced to deal with the Other day in and day out.From there it’s just a short jump for some to active acceptance. We don’t merely deal with the new andthe strange in the street. We actively invite it into our homes. We seek it out and learn from it. Noteveryone does that, and certainly there’s plenty of acceptance to be found in the farms and small townsof our world. But where else will you find the chance to experience SO MUCH diversity of thought, ofappearance, of tasty takeout cuisine?As Margaret Mead said it, “A city is a place where there is no need to wait for next week to get theanswer to a question, to taste the food of any country, to find new voices to listen to and familiarones to listen to again”. Encoded in its DNA are millions of perspectives, trillions of lessons, and adeep eagerness for even more. It is from the city that so many people have been able to stand on theshoulders of giants and see the future… or see the past in new light. It is the crucible in which wereinvent ourselves as individuals and as cultures.I sing these praises with full awareness that the creature I describe is not always a gentle one to thosein its embrace, or the environment it rests in. The modern city is a sprawling beast, full of too muchpollution and grinding poverty. It consumes too much: space, lives, resources. It is often an obese andungainly figure, eating up portions of our Earth that cannot be sustained. Yet just as obesity is not adirect product of being human, so is sprawl and pollution not a built-in factor of the city.The modern municipality is often a driver’s paradise: pushing people to choke the air with CO2 andsmog to get from their manicured and watered lawns to their jobs day in and day out. Even to get theirown groceries! It siphons energy from coal and oil powered electricity plant. It rests on the backs ofunderpaid and under-cared-for poverty stricken people. These are the sins of the city.But these sins are not unique nor confined to urban centers, merely noteworthy for the scale theyachieve in such places. We as a species use too much fossil fuel. We slaughter animals with excessivecruelty for our own excessive hungers. We pollute rivers, land, air… we even pollute the night sky withmassively unnecessary lighting fixtures that block out the very stars. These are not civic crimes. Theyare human crimes. And cities can rise above them as much as anywhere else, more easily than some.Electricity can come from clean energy sources, and our individual demand for it can be lessened.Cities can build efficient public transportation that require no polluting emissions to run. Slaughterhouses can be retooled to do their work without sadistic practices, and we can reduce our food waste tolower the demand on other animals and the soil itself. We can dim city lights so that humans can revelin and be awed by the splendor of the cosmos above once more.Time and again the city has been the cause of, and solution to, countless human problems. The spreadof disease in urban areas led to the development of modern sanitation techniques. Fires decimatingtightly packed tenements created the first public fire departments. Crime and murder on London streetsgave us the modern police and forensic departments. We see a problem and we seek to rise above it.Sometimes with spectacular, even gut-wrenching failure: the Cabrini Green housing projects werespawned from good intentions but trapped too many in the cycle of poverty and violent death. Yet thatsame cycle of trial, failure and success is as much the story of the city as it is of humanity as a whole.The city is not a natural phenomenon. Nature has its own cycles and processes, similar to but separatefrom those of urbanity. It checks and balances itself, often viciously. If a pack of wolves overhuntcaribou in the Arctic, the system will correct itself. Old and young members of the pack will starve anddie. Fewer mouths will mean fewer predators for the next generation of caribou to confront. It works. Itis necessary. But Nature is a stone-cold pragmatic bitch. And therein lies the difference between natureand the city: wolves don’t start soup kitchens.A city is not pragmatic. It is not self-correcting. It can go too far, consume so much that the systemsit relies on cannot recover. Nothing stops it from continuing on a destructive path except full-oncollapse or human intervention. To ignore that fact would be to blithely ignore the potential for massivedevastation.Yet the other side of the coin is also true: every city has forces within seeking to gentle or dissipate itsvicious tendencies. There are thousands upon thousands of humans in Cincinnati alone who seek tolift those in poverty, educate those who are ignorant, embrace the cast-out, and clean what has beenpolluted. They make no money, receive no direct benefit. What they do is not “natural” per se, but iteases the pain of an otherwise cold and impersonal system. Our actions can soften the sharp edgesand improve the intensely human systems of metropolitan living. They can also unleash such miseryand waste that we turn our planet into a desolation. Just as cities are human creations, they are alsodependent upon human care and responsibility.More so than any other facet of creation, we are parents and guardians to this growing child. Byour actions and our will, we determine the future shape and character of urban life. Will we helpchannel the natural gifts cities have given us towards a brighter tomorrow? Or will we spurn such carefor “easy” choices today? Will we foster a golden child or a Frankenstein?Ultimately it all starts with reflection and spirituality. We cannot hope to feel the worth and flaws ofa place we do not study. We must connect with the genius loci, the spirit of our city, and in so doingtranscend our normal myopic vision of what a municipality really is. We must each of us find a placewhere we can stand and look with awe upon this life birthed by human ingenuity, sweat, and labor. Justas a parent can stand in awe of what they too have created, for all the flaws and all the glories.(Start video) http://youtu.be/JaNH56Vpg-ALook at the buildings and see the well-formed limbs to move the world, and the memories of a hundredgenerations.Feel the pulse of its cells, giving it life. Each one a tiny fragment. Each one a creative, spiritual creatureof God.See how it embraces and enfolds us, this child of human dreams and human needs.Hear how it invites us to rise above our daily concerns, if only we can pause long enough. It is notsomething to be listened for above the sounds of the street, but within them.Let us each rise to our skyscraper mountaintop and open our eyes to this world; make it another forest,another ocean, another cathedral to transcendental awareness.The city can heal us, teach us, touch our hearts and enrich our souls. All we need do is act as itsspiritual citizens. -
July 17, 2011, "Summer Songs for Fun and Inspiration: Glee and 'Loser Like Me'"
© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, All Rights Reserved
If you were to meet a never married, childless man in his mid-thirties, who still lives with and is close to his mother, hangs around cheaters, petty thieves, prostitutes, the mentally ill, unemployed, and adulterers, who himself has no job and no possessions, likes to drink and party and is a member of a fringe religious cult, what would you say about him? Given that description, I would probably think to myself that he is a bit strange and not someone I would befriend. And if I heard that at a young age he was arrested, charged with a capital crime and executed, I would be even more inclined to think he led a sad and tragic life that did not amount to much. As someone who, in my own grandiose vision of myself, likes to think I am part of society’s mainstream, this man is someone who I would not emulate. He would not be my role model for success or normalcy.
And yet, as most of you have already discerned, this man that I just described fits the life history, as we know it, of Jesus. However much the Bible contains supernatural tales and allegorical myths that were intended more to instruct than be literal history, Jesus was likely a real human who lived and died two-thousand years ago. Descriptions of his life, his teachings and the impact he had on society after his execution indicate that he was a flesh and blood man. The supernatural figure called the Christ, who performed numerous miracles and rose from the dead to now be God, is another matter. Jesus the Christ was an invention to mitigate the seemingly loser aspects of Jesus the man’s real life. Why would people want to remember or honor a man conceived out of wedlock, who never built or acquired anything of value, who enjoyed the company of other outcasts and who was executed in a manner reserved only for the worst kinds of criminals? As his followers believed, no history book would remember this person and certainly no religion could be created around him. Instead, he needed to be re-made into a god-man. And so he was.
But that being the case does not mean the real-life Jesus was a loser. Indeed, the very loser qualities that seemed to make his life an embarrassment to his followers, are instead the traits of a genuine hero. He succeeded in life in ways that few have matched. Absent his Christ status and power, Jesus remains a remarkable and truly amazing person. His teachings about peace, forgiveness, love of enemy, compassion for the outcast, service to the poor and sick and hatred of hypocrisy still resonate around the world as profound and breathtaking. While he may not have been a god, his ethics and the way he led his life point to the Divine. Jesus is history’s most famous loser who rose above and, indeed, embraced his “loser” label to truly succeed. In that way, he remains a role model for us all.
As we saw in the opening video clip, our song for today is from the currently popular television show Glee. Like any good show, it has achieved a loyal following and its devotees often call themselves “Gleeks”. Many say it is the show’s unabashed feel-good themes that make it popular – especially in our economically depressed and worrisome world. Most importantly, the show highlights the generally happy and positive lives of students in a Lima, Ohio High School Glee club – kids from a small, mid-western town who could be described as outcasts and losers. There is the adopted Jewish girl who dreams of being a star, the wheelchair bound kid, the flamboyant gay kid, the African-American overweight girl, the dumb blonde, the pregnant girl, the tough, rebel guy, etc, etc. All join the Glee club, which is seen in most high schools as nerdy and one no athlete, cheerleader or popular kid would want to join. And the Glee kids are ruthlessly teased, bullied and splashed in the face with “slushees” – colored, shaved ice concoctions people that are used as weapons against those perceived as a loser.
But these kids thrive and succeed. They find in themselves the creative and joyful energy to sing, dance and perform. They perform in numerous competitions and often win – bringing to their school and to themselves the kind of positive recognition the sports teams or cheerleading squads are unable to provide. And, as we just saw, they fully embrace their loser status. They face the same hurts and pains of any marginalized person or group but they transform their lives and their thinking into something positive, celebratory and genuine.
If you heard or read my last two messages – the first on optimism and last week’s on authenticity – this week’s song and theme focuses on how any of us can transcend life’s setbacks, depressions and loser qualities into something good and happy. Indeed, using Jesus’ life as an example, what did he – and other successful, so-called nerds or losers – do in life that enabled contentment? Even further, what can any of us do to find that elusive life of true happiness, peace and joy? Instead of dwelling on what make us unhappy, what helps us thrive and exult in the pure thrill of living? To put it in a youthful vernacular, what rocks our world or knocks our socks off?
Working in the 1950’s, a well-known psychologist named Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania pioneered research into positive psychology. Instead of focusing on the causes of mental and emotional dysfunction, he encouraged the study of what helps people find and nurture innate talents so that they happily thrive. What thoughts and actions make even a normal life extraordinary? How might so-called losers become winners?
As we examined two weeks ago with the Dolly Parton song “Light of a Clear Blue Morning”, there is power in optimism. This is not blind and irrational positive thinking that is naive and patronizing. Useful in positive psychology, this philosophy is called “hedonics” and involves the ability to be upbeat, dream big and focus on the good in life, in oneself and in others. Jesus saw lepers as people to be hugged and touched, prostitutes as loving and decent, criminals as inherently good, sinners as worthy of forgiveness, the sick as otherwise healthy – all people, especially the outcast – as beautiful and holy. Jesus embraced life and enjoyed dinner parties, wine and the company of all kinds of fun-loving people. He dreamed of a better world and he set out to make it so – through his abilities to love, teach and care for others.
Many of the so-called loser kids in the Glee show practice the same ethic. They dream of being stars, they are confident in their abilities, they see each other in a positive light, they enjoy life through song, dance and the usual highlights of teenage living – love, good times and romance. Indeed, the show itself embodies “hedonics” – its characters celebrate life which in turn allows viewers to experience fun and inspiration. One is rarely sad at the end of a Glee show.
Besides practicing a form of hedonics, Dr. Martin Seligman also proposed practicing the psychological theory called gratification. This involves finding satisfaction in creativity, beauty, excellence and perseverance. When we are creative – in music, art, cooking, writing, gardening, dance or speech, we discover something unique inside ourselves. We have the power to birth something entirely new – a piece of our souls to behold and admire. From the first cave paintings by early humans, we as a species thrill at the creation of types of art that often has no utilitarian purpose. Such forms of self-expression are made to simply be experienced.
As an example, Jesus told many memorable and quite eloquent parables designed to teach and be remembered. Such stories are believed to be authentically from the man Jesus. They were creative expressions of his life that made him loved and admired. Each of us identifies with the poignant story of the prodigal son, the good samaritan, or the wedding feast. In them, Jesus painted timeless word pictures of great beauty and universal wisdom.
The Glee kids may be labeled losers but they have legitimate talent as singers and dancers. Through such gifts they are able to evoke feelings of joy, longing, grief, love and compassion. As one gay character sings “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”, he beautifully interpreted it to the love he has for his father who openly and proudly accepts him. The cast brought new, contemporary power to John Lennon’s song “Imagine” as a plea for social justice and they exuberantly sang Maddona’s tune “Like a Virgin”, representing their own teen angst and sexual awakening.
This personal creativity found in positive psychology can be realized in any one of us. From insightful words in personal diaries, to moving piano pieces played here each week, to photographs we take, to the meals we prepare, to the gardens we tend – there is in each and every person great art waiting to be unleashed. Happiness is found in its creation – both for ourselves and for those who experience it. Who among us is a loser when we are capable of bringing beauty into our world? To take liberty with President Kennedy’s famous saying, let us not ask what the world has or has not given us, let us instead find happiness in the talents we have and the creatively we give the world.
Besides using hedonics and personal creativity to build positive psychology, Dr. Seligman also encouraged finding personal meaning. This involves building community, spirituality, knowledge, justice or compassion in others. We live to serve not just ourselves. We were encouraged by Jesus to love other people as much as we love ourselves. As he said, to do this we must teach the child, soothe the sick, visit the prisoner, comfort the bereaved, clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and speak out for the marginalized. At any age, in any state of mind or health, rich or poor, we can each find personal satisfaction and happiness by doing good for others. Indeed, helping other people is one way we are both selfish and selfless. We help ourselves as much as we help another. I know I repeat this far too often, but it is a core value of which I must constantly remind myself and which I believe must be central to who we are as individuals and as a congregation. We exist, we live, we find purpose, meaning and real joy in giving to others – both financially and with our time. This is not an option in life – it is a necessity and a duty.
Too often, religious descriptions of Jesus paint him as a man of sorrows. Seen in a religious light as angry and condemning of a hypocritical and sinful world, this view of Jesus saw him as resigned to his sacrificial death on a cross. Paintings depict him as somber, serious, stoic and even sad. Such depictions offer a false view of the man – one who I contend saw the opportunity and possibility in life and in this world. While he was not content with the way things were, he set out to change them – to bring solace, comfort and happiness to others and to teach people how to do the same. His vision was one of optimism – the Kingdom of Heaven is here and now! Lets embrace goodness, mercy, love, peace and happiness. Lets have fun. Lets party. Lets stop obsessing over the petty details of how to look good and instead focus on actually doing good and being good. Life is not a pain filled waiting room for that big, puffy cloud called heaven. Life is a playground for us to help build and then enjoy. Jesus may have hung on a cross but he was not resurrected to leave us and rule from above. That is the stuff of myth written by men with a religious agenda. Jesus was instead resurrected in the hearts of his followers, in other prophets of history and in us. He was not some sad-sack loser who found greatness only by becoming God. Jesus was a great and successful human being who worked to transform himself and the world into a happier place.
An old anonymous saying states that nobody is born a winner and nobody is born a loser. We are what we make ourselves to be. Winners in life are not those who die with the most things or the most money. They have not amassed the most power or achieved the most fame. They have, instead, built for themselves a reservoir of contentment. Such people are at peace with themselves and with the world. They find beauty in each person and each living thing. They know who they are; they have embarked on journeys of fulfillment – doing the work they were made to perform; they have loved deeply and loved well; they have given of themselves and their resources in service to others; they have celebrated and laughed; they have created beauty and art. We can each wondrously make ourselves into persons of charm and grace – never an outcast, never a misfit, never a loser. In you, in me, in people across the earth – there are only winners waiting to emerge… -
July 10, 2011, "Summer Songs for Fun and Inspiration: Authenticity, Lady Gaga and 'Born This Way'"
© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering UCC, All Rights Reserved
To listen to the message, click below. Or read it further down.
Who are you? In the deep, dark night when you lie awake while all the world sleeps, what truths about yourself do you honestly ponder? What innermost thoughts, dreams, loves, fears, hatreds and inspirations define the essential ‘you’? And when the light of day arrives, and you move out into a world of relationships, work and human interaction, are you the same person whom you defined in the darkness? Are your actions and your speech consistent with who you are and who you were made to be?
On this Pride Sunday here in Cincinnati, I hope we might all celebrate the core meaning of this day – one of acceptance and joy for being authentic. This day is celebrated at various times in various cities around the world as a way to proclaim that no longer will ANY person – gay or straight – need to feel the shame or stigma for simply living true to themselves. Indeed, the message I hear from Lady Gaga’s song “Born This Way” is one for us all. To the frightened gay man or woman afraid that friends, family or peers will learn their truth, to the confused soul who struggles to make sense of life, to the one despairing of pain, depression or loneliness who puts on a brave face to the outside world, to the angry one who hates his or her own life and hides such self-loathing in drugs, alcohol or bitterness toward others, today of all days speaks of a need for authenticity. And joy. And freedom from the masks that many of us wear. And most of all PRIDE in allowing ourselves to stand in the light of day and simply be who we truly are – wounded, loving, straight, joyful, young, lusty, black, depressed, atheist, gay, old, white, vegan, fearful, etc. etc.
If we follow the one simple rule of life – to practice the Golden Rule to love others as much as we love ourselves, then there is nothing else under the sun about ourselves of which we should not be proud. No matter what is true about us – as long as we do no harm to others – we are good and unique people. And in that distinct individuality of wounds and triumphs, of fears and joys, lies the rare beauty, the uncut gem, that must not be hidden. Baby, you were born that way…
Theodore Geisel – or Dr. Seuss to most people – once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Added to such wisdom is William Shakespeare’s admonition in his play Hamlet, “This above all: to thine own self be true.” Our goal, therefore, must be one of living our truth both to others and to ourselves. In doing so, we fulfill Jesus’ words that truth will set us free. We are liberated from the prisons of shame, fear and guilt.
Authenticity then lies in the attempt by any of us to outwardly live according to our inner being. It involves refusing to conform to cultural, familial or religious standards and traditions that seek to define us. To live any other way creates a dissonance and confusion in our minds and in our relationships. Race relations in our nation have long been inauthentic precisely because persons are judged by outward appearances alone. Sexism, religious intolerance and classism often take the same approach. Instead of reaching for the spiritual ideal of loving fellow humans as we too wish to be loved and treated, we create false standards and stereotypes about others. We marginalize and demean in order to somehow elevate ourselves. Black pride, feminism and gay pride are all manifestations of the same desire to express authenticity – people who claim, own and assert their true selves against the prevailing prejudices, assumptions and false beliefs of others. Henry David Thoreau remarked long ago that we are all constantly invited to to be who we are. In that regard, equality efforts and Pride festivals around the country are efforts to fulfill such an invitation. Individually and communally, we are asked to be real with one another. No prejudice. No intolerance. It is the content of one’s character, not the color of one’s skin, the faith in one’s heart, the love of one’s life or the hidden pain one feels that determines the measure of a life. If that is indeed so, honesty and integrity calls us to liberate ourselves from the judgements of others and live in truth. Personal and communal integrity also calls us to honor and care for the truth in other lives.
As I have discussed here on several occasions, I led a life for far too many years that masked parts of my true self as a gay man. During those years I hurt others as much as I hurt myself. In my fears, my self-hatred, my inner denials, my hopes to be “normal” and my acceptance of what religion and society told me they believe is wrong, I was alienated from reality. I was alienated from me.
And when I finally chose to try to be authentic, to live in accord not with what the outside world told me I should be but with who I was born to be, I embarked on a journey of truth and freedom and peace. As I have mentioned before, I recall the shaking fear I had when I first came out to my eighteen year old daughter Amy. In one fell swoop I knew the constructs of her life and our relationship might be broken. And yet, as one whom I love so very much and for whom I would willingly give my life, I knew I had to be honest. And in that moment that I first told her, Dr. Seuss’ quote was fulfilled. Someone who matters most in my life did not mind my truth. As I sat facing her, unsure of her reaction, she simply put her arms around me and so full of youthful grace, said to me, “Daddy. It’s OK. I love you no matter what.” In that moment, as I have said, I as a parent was loved unconditionally by my child in the same way so many children yearn to feel loved unconditionally by their parents.
In that beautiful moment of authenticity with my daughter and with many other times I have had since then, I’ve found the freedom that we all seek. As much as we are able to reveal the truth of ourselves – the weaknesses, fears and doubts all of us have, the more peace and contentment we will find. Contrary to the fear and shame we may feel about ourselves, taking our masks off allows the world to see the genuine beauty in us. Perfection or normalcy is often an illusion created in our dreams. Beauty, instead, lies in truth. Beauty is the wounded and depressed one who is not afraid to say so, the gay kid who lives an open life, the alcoholic who confesses and seeks help, the nerd, physically challenged or outcast in us all who claims a certain pride at being different. Each one is a work of art, a person to behold and cherish and admire. Baby you were born this way…
Who we are as people – the essence of our souls, personalities and attitudes, are amalgamations of genetics and the influences of our environments. While we can often change the actions we undertake in life, it is impossible to substantially alter our innate personalities and identities. Even further, most psychologists, including those of the American Psychiatric Association believe that one’s sexual identity is fixed and not subject to change. There have been many studies undertaken to determine the cause of human sexuality – is it a trait with genetic origins, pre-natal origins or simply the result of how we are raised along with other environmental factors? While no study is conclusive, research has shown higher numbers of gays within extended families – pointing to a possible genetic influence. Research also shows a higher incidence of gay brothers and gay twins thus indicating genetic influence. Other research points to the influence of maternal hormones during pregnancy as possibly influencing the development of the infant brain and sexuality. While other psychologists point to life environmental factors as the cause – like how we are raised as children – the weight of anecdotal evidence shows that most gays and lesbians believe they were so from very, very early ages.
Presently, there is no conclusive evidence. However, a 2005 genome study released by the University of Illinois Department of Psychiatry perhaps best states the reality. It said: “There is no one ‘gay’ gene. Sexual orientation is a complex trait, so it’s not surprising that we found several DNA regions involved in its expression. Our best guess is that multiple genes, potentially interacting with environmental influences, explain differences in sexual orientation. We believe genes play an important role in determining whether a person is gay or heterosexual.” For all intents and purposes, many scientists, researchers, and therapists affirm Lady Gaga and her song lyrics, baby you were born this way…
My appeal to all of us today is to stay focused on what really matters. Ultimately gay pride, today’s festival and parade are about celebrating authentic lives for an entire class of people who have been historically denied that right. More importantly, pride speaks to any of us – gay or straight – about living openly and truthfully as well as accepting all people in their honest and open lives. Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher, said that “a life unexamined, is a life not worth living.”
And so we must ponder the depths of our souls. We must be willing to confess and admit our flaws as much as we celebrate our strengths. We must embrace our differences from what culture might tell us is normal – in our appearance, our beliefs, and our spirituality. To the conservative in the midst of a progressive congregation like ours, the call is to celebrate who you are and come out. To the one worn down by the weight of life, come out and share your burdens. To the atheist or agnostic in our predominantly Christian culture, celebrate your beliefs openly. For each of us, be genuine and be real. Such widespread authenticity will reduce bigotry and challenge the culture to embrace diversity and tolerance.
I hope this ethic of pride in who we are is one we will continue to embrace and practice here at the Gathering. One of the marketing slogans we will use promotes the fact that we are a diverse and colorful group – a congregation comprised of so many different people. While we claim a certain progressive theology, that does not speak of our different politics, lifestyles, backgrounds, or even faith. When I describe this congregation to others, some are shocked that Buddhists and atheists attend and are welcomed at a church that claims to be Christian. We may be a United Church of Christ congregation but that denomination is also unsure of who and what we are. All of this speaks to our proud and unique identity but even in that, we are far from perfect. In any of us lies the hidden secrets we do not reveal, the private pain we believe we should suffer alone, and the beliefs we hold private.
Our celebration today should remind us, then, that pride begins within ourselves. We must have confidence in who we are. And our pride must be informed by self-awareness and honest self-examination – to clearly see our strengths and our weaknesses. In those dark hours alone at night, can we be real with ourselves or do the masks we wear confuse even us? Coming out of our closets is a process we must ALL undertake.
We must also remain aware of our self-talk – the voice of positive and negative thoughts we speak to ourselves. How can we have pride in who we are if inner voices tell us we are weak or sinful or hopeless? We should expose ourselves to inspiration from multiple sources – music, art, drama and spirituality. How many other opinions and thoughts can we be exposed to? Finally, we must undertake to practice the ideal often repeated here – life is not just about ourselves, we must serve others. Pride is not about the self – it is about being authentic and true to the goodness within each person. If we are truly authentic people, we will have a love, care and concern for the least of God’s children – the poor, homeless, disabled, and marginalized. It is not enough to have Black pride or gay pride. We must have pride – i.e. concern for – the condition of all humanity.
Forgive me if this message has figuratively rained on your parade. Pride is a legitimate emotion for those who have been hurt, marginalized and hated and today is rightfully a happy one. But pride is truly about authenticity. We celebrate the authentic and honorable lives of the GLBT community – many of you and myself included. But this pride, as I have said, is nothing unless it is grounded in authentic lives across the board. Who am I when nobody is looking? Who are you? To thine own self be true – because, once again, baby you are not a mistake. You were born this way…
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July 3, 2011, "Summer Songs for Fun and Inspiration: Dolly Parton's 'Light of a Clear Blue Morning'"
© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, UCC, All Rights Reserved
Music Video: “Light of a Clear Blue Morning”
With all due respects to Dolly Parton and her positive outlook, it is said that an optimist is one who, as he or she is falling from the Empire State Building, says to himself or herself at the 50th floor down, “Hey, so far, so good!”
And in that joke lies the inherent problem with optimism. If our lives might be compared to a fall from the Empire State Building, all is relatively good for a time – with beautiful views, cool breezes and lots of exhilaration, but the end will still be the same – a swift and final end. Is it unrealistic and simplistic to enjoy the fall – and our lives – while it lasts? And what of other life problems that confront us? Should we be perpetual optimists who choose to see only the good in life? Are we gloom and doom naysayers who imagine evil and misfortune around every corner? Or is there some place in between?
During the upcoming month, I’ve chosen three songs that might inspire as well as entertain us. Music is like any great art form, it is capable of stirring our souls, pricking our emotional hearts and promoting introspective thought. I hope the same will be true with the songs I have chosen – “Light of a Clear Blue Morning” as we just heard, Lada Gaga’s “Born This Way” for next Sunday and the TV show Glee’s recent anthem, “Loser Like Me.”
“Born This Way” is an immensely popular contemporary song by the current pop superstar Lady Gaga. The song has an upbeat and fun beat while conveying a positive message of self-acceptance. I hope it will inspire us with thoughts and emotions next Sunday which is also Gay and Lesbian Pride Sunday here in Cincinnati. Finally, in two weeks, the contemporary song “Loser Like Me” will speak to us of tolerance, strength, and confidence in a world of bullying, teen suicide, and discrimination. It is an anthem of hope for the outcast and misfit in us all.
So! Lets make July a month of dancing in the aisles here at the Gathering – or just snapping your fingers to the beat while you remain seated. Church can be thought provoking and fun all at the same time!
On this eve of the Fourth of July, most Americans share similar thoughts – we’re happy for a long weekend, hopeful for nice weather to enjoy a picnic and also reflective on our nation’s founding. It is a time of some unity and common purpose in our celebrations – who can feel bad about a birthday party for our nation? This day of all days should unite us and fill us with good feelings.
And yet, it is apparent to almost everyone that our nation faces many significant challenges. We are engaged in three wars, our economy is barely emerging from a severe recession, millions are out of work, our national debt is at record levels and leaders are still fighting over whether we will default on our financial obligations. It might seem that July 4th feelings notwithstanding, there are many ominous dark clouds on the horizon.
What Dolly Parton’s song seems to say, however, is that our attitudes should not reflect such depressing facts about the state of the Union. Our strength, resilience and positive outlooks will see us through the current times. Everything is gonna be alright, everything is gonna be OK – as she sings in the song. Is this just whistling in the dark? Why shouldn’t we be profoundly depressed about where our nation seems headed?
In personal matters, why shouldn’t we be upset about our finances, our health, our loneliness, our fears, our silent battles with loved ones and with our own worst attitudes? Life is pretty crappy a lot of the time and for our nation, on its birthday, pretty much of everything seems to be going down the toilet. Some chirpy song by a well-endowed country singer cannot change any of those facts. As Norm, on the old TV show “Cheers” once said, “Life is a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear!”
But is that an attitude we should embrace? Many psychologists and therapists believe that one’s attitude – whether positive or negative – profoundly affects not only our demeanor but our actual physical health, mental well-being and even success in life. Statistics show that those who face severe health crises, like cancer, with positive and optimistic outlooks, end up healing faster and doing better. Their quality of life is improved because they refuse to live in gloom. Research also shows that successful people in life are usuallly optimists precisely because they do not fear or run away from obstacles. Instead of imagining failure, they dream of success. They start a business, meet new friends, or move to a new city all with the idea that, like Dolly sang, everything will be OK. Success thus becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. These people have learned the art of changing the internal dialogue in their minds from that of defeat and despair to thoughts of hope and success.
Contrasted against all of the positive ideas about positive thinking is the understandable notion that optimism is often grounded in myth, falsehoods and naivete. The great French philosopher and writer Voltaire, writing in his fictional work entitled Candide, poked hundreds of holes in the power of optimism. Characters in the novel face unrelenting human misery, suffering and evil all while trying to live up to an absurd and comical form of positive thinking. Pangloss, the philosopher character whom Voltaire satirically used to mock theories of optimism, contends that everything in the world has a good and perfect purpose. Earthquakes, war, disease, and injustice all serve some greater good according to this character. Such thinking emerges directly from the Christian Biblical quote by Paul which states that “all things work together for good to those who love God.”
According to prevailing thinking in Voltaire’s day and, as it exists in many religious circles today, no calamity is without a good purpose because a loving God would have it no other way. Voltaire mockingly has Pangloss say this about the disease of syphilis, which was brought back to Europe from the New World, “It was a thing unavoidable, a necessary ingredient in the best of worlds; for if Columbus had not caught in an island in America this disease, which frequently impedes propagation itself, and is evidently opposed to the great end of nature, we should not have had chocolate.” In other words, syphilis is actually a good thing because, even though it inhibits reproduction, without it, Europeans would not have chocolate – another New World import!
Voltaire brutally mocked religion and Christianity and their pious platitudes encouraging optimism in the face of human misery. Such religious speech echoes today with the well-meaning but ultimately ridiculous words of some who say, in the face of tragedy, that God works in mysterious ways and who are we to question his motives? The starvation deaths of little children are somehow OK because a loving God is in charge. He will use such deaths, this theology goes, for greater good – like bringing those children to heaven even sooner than normal.
Such thinking is found in the belief that what we have on earth now is as good as we can expect. Since God created all things, they must be good. Further, despite our hardships, we can endure them because, if we love and trust God, we will live forever in heaven. That same fundamentalist ethos is taught to young Muslims who, in the face of little life opportunity, choose the option of a suicide bombing death accompanied by the supposed reward of 70 virgins in Paradise. Don’t complain. Be positive. Your life here and now might be miserable but paradise awaits!
In Voltaire’s time, the Church and many Kings and Queens used such a philosophy to quiet the discontent of their populations living in grinding poverty. It is used today to encourage the sick, confused or emotionally wounded to have faith, trust and hope for a clear blue morning in heaven. Even some evolutionary scientists contend that the natural realm is the best we can expect because that is what evolution brought us. Evil and suffering are simply facts of life. We can do nothing about it.
The Fourth of July, however, should tell us the exact opposite. For Americans and, indeed, for many around the world, our revolution 235 years ago represents the idea that humanity can cooperate and work together to bring about a better way. The Founding Fathers refused to accept the Divine Right of Kings and that such an unjust system was ordained by a loving God. The human condition could be made better when humanity is given the freedom and rights to pursue their own course in life.
Albert Schweitzer, the great philosopher and explorer of the 20th century said, “An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight… The truly wise person is color-blind.” And Louisa May Alcott, the noted American novelist, said on the subject, “I’m not afraid of storms for I am learning to sail my own ship.” Both persons speak to a higher form of optimism which is not blindly positive with no rational basis for such thinking. Instead, the ideal is to be optimistic based on confidence and reason and intelligence. A successful entrepreneur likely sets out to start a new business aware of the many pitfalls that could result. He or she takes steps to prevent them and has the confidence that everything possible will be done in order to succeed. One learns to sail ones own ship – as Alcott said – thus relying on an inner determination and ability that all will be OK. This is not naive and blind optimism. It is based on reason, courage and intelligence.
Such a form of optimism fights cancer, for example, not with pious acceptance or false hope but with knowledge combined with positive thinking – what treatments have the best chance of success? How should I care for myself so that I can heal? What foods should I eat that promote healing? What doctors and hospitals are best? How can my friends and family surround me with joy and love during the treatment? If I refuse to allow myself to wallow in self-pity and depression, I will make informed and positive life choices that will thereby help me succeed. My optimism will be rewarded by better physical and emotional health because such rational optimism allows for clear thinking and reason based decisions. Pessimism and negativity, on the other hand, sponsor impulsive decisions. This thinking creates a vicious cycle because pessimism helps to cause negative outcomes which in turn creates even more pessimism.
Dear friends, my appeal here today for you and for me is to find in Dolly Parton’s song the seeds of a better outlook for ourselves and our nation. I mentioned two weeks ago my struggle with some recent depression and I know it is caused by my failure to employ a form of reason based optimism. I will get through the issue I face if I muster some courage, some reasonable planning, greater communication and use the love of friends and family. Why should I get stuck in feeling so sorry for myself?
And the same must hold true for our nation in the days, weeks and months ahead. Reason tells us that solutions to our problems are possible and that as Americans we have the ability to find them. Optimism must bring us to the same demeanor our nation will have on the Fourth of July – one of unity and common sense of purpose.
“Light of a Clear Blue Morning” was played extensively immediately after September 11th, 2001. Many of us remember at that time the sea of American flags we saw all over the nation – most displayed not as some nationalistic thumping of our chests but as an affirmation of American unity. We were all attacked, we all suffered and we would all get through the difficulties together.
Such sentiments are sorely needed today. Our leaders and representatives ought to listen to their better angels and seek resolution, peace and dialogue with each other. Clearly we are a politically divided nation with passionate views on both sides of the ideological divide. But our goals are the same – the advancement of the human condition in our nation and around the world.
Our approach, then, must be a humble one – none of us can claim absolute knowledge of what policies or budgets or laws are best. We each have valid and intelligent ideas but we each must be open to accepting the best of what the other side offers. Only by coming together to find common ground in solving our problems – not demanding our way or the highway – will we be be able to solve the pressing problems we face. Only by humbly accepting that those with whom we disagree are also wise can we achieve a national consensus. Is our goal to be right or to find a solution that works for everyone? Contrary to what Barry Goldwater said over forty years ago, extremism is a vice. Compromise by liberals and conservatives, for the sake of cooperation and unity is, I strongly believe, a virtue.
In times of great crisis and stress, our nation has always rallied to the call of national unity. We see it each time major disasters happen in our nation – whether it be a great depression, a world war, a terrorist attack or the assassination of a political leader. We have the moral imagination to work together cooperatively.
That is the spiritual essence of optimism: a core belief in the basic goodness of humanity. It does not naively believe that people will never commit evil acts or that human judgement is always right but it assumes that most people are motivated to work for the betterment of the human condition. Pessimism assumes the opposite idea that humanity is sinful with evil motivations. As individuals and as a nation, if we wish to solve the problems that bedevil us, we must accept the proposition that as liberals, conservatives or moderates – we all want what is good for our nation and the world.
This commonality of motivation will invite empathy and understanding. As a progressive person, I can still understand a conservative wants the same outcomes as me. Let us sit down then, talk in peace, and hear the words, frustrations, fears and dreams of the other. Let us walk in each other’s shoes for a time. In doing so, we will begin to see the light of a clear blue morning – a national dawn of problem solving instead of a dark night of bitter division. As individuals, as a church, as a community and as a nation, we have so much for which to be optimistic. May we go forth with the will, the means, the love and the intelligence to usher in a wondrous world of good for ourselves and all creation…
I wish you all the light of clear blue morning!
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June 19, 2011, "Essential Elements: Water, the Source of Life"
Message 62, “Essential Elements: Water, the Source of Life”, 6-19-11
© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, UCC, All Rights ReservedIf, as we have discussed over the past three weeks, the pathway to the human soul is through the air, and the soil at our feet is an amalgam of what we are made of, then water is the wellspring of our very existence. Not only do we celebrate it as as a natural home, we can see it as the symbolic flow of our physical and mental being. Both literally and figuratively, water is the fount of creation and the means by which we continually cleanse, recreate and purify ourselves. Two weeks ago, we reflected on how air and meditation breathing put us in touch with our souls. Last week, we saw how dirt and soil are tangible examples of what we are made of. If we are the humble humus of earth, we should adopt similar attitudes of humility. I hope today for us to see water as a symbolic conduit through which we experience life. Without it we would not be born. Without it we would not be able to grow and change into new and better people. As an essential element for life, water is equally important for our spiritual well-being. In it, through it and from it we find solace, challenge and renewal.
Billions and billions of years ago, when the earth was still in its infancy, when volcanic activity was common around the globe, when the oceans were a primordial soup, when the atmosphere was still a toxic mix of ammonia and other gases, something amazing took place. On this inhospitable ancient earth, many scientists believe that peptides and protocells – not actual living organisms – chemically developed the ability to synthesize oxygen from the sea. Through the process of photosynthesis and energy from the sun, these protocells were then able to use nutrients expelled from underwater volcanoes to become the first one celled forms of actual life – beings capable of using energy to grow and reproduce. Born from the depths of water evolved living creatures as we know them today.
In almost every religious description of creation, life emerged from a watery source. God moved upon the face of the waters in order to begin creation, according to the Jewish and Christian Bible. In the Q’uran, Allah set the throne of the Divine on the oceans and created all life from them. The home of the gods is at the confluence of rivers, according to Hindus. And, for Hopi Native-Americans, water was the original essence of the universe – air, land and life sprang from it. Water is said by most world religions to be the Great Beginning. Such spiritual descriptions of where creation first began are interestingly not far off what science tells us is likely true. Water is the source of life.
This scientific and spiritual understanding of water as the creative womb of original life has also been true for the beginning of civilization. Cultures and societies were first built around sources of water. Ancient Egypt, Rome, Greece, Mesopotamia and Aztec nations flourished and grew because of proximity to it. Indeed, the cradle of civilization – the location of where anthropologists believe the first complex society emerged – was located in the fertile crescent, the triangle of land between the Tigris and Euphrates river deltas in modern day Iraq.
Besides beings the source of creation and the necessary resource for the beginning of civilization, water is also the incubator for individual human and animal life. We are formed and nurtured in watery fluid. Our first human experience is to float, and even inhale, water within the womb.Many of you know the Biblical story of Jonah – one in which water plays a vital symbolic role. Jonah was asked by God to travel to the city of Ninevah to proclaim judgement upon its people for their disobedience to God. He was to be the messenger of God’s verdict. Not wanting to assume the risks that have befallen all prophets, Jonah fled from the task assigned him by God and jumped on board a ship departing from Israel. When a terrible storm erupted around the ship and threatened it with sinking, the crew investigated who among them could have caused such Divine wrath. They soon discovered Jonah’s disobedience to God and, not wanting to share his punishment, the crew threw him overboard.
Jonah was quickly swallowed by a large fish, later described in the New Testament as a whale. In it, he spent three days and three nights. That part of the story was later described as a foreshadowing of Jesus’ three day experience in the belly of a tomb. At any rate, Jonah spent his time within the whale to reflect on his disobedience. He prayed to God thanking the Divine One for saving him from certain death and he also sought forgiveness for disobeying God. The story says that God, out of mercy, forgave Jonah and offered him a second chance. The whale was then induced by God to literally vomit Jonah onto dry land.Jonah fulfilled his assigned task of proclaiming judgement on Ninevah only to be surprised when those fair citizens listened to him and repented of their evil ways. Once again acting out of mercy, God forgave Ninevah and commuted their death sentence. Jonah was furious at God for using him as a messenger of doom only to then have a change of heart. God, however, reminded Jonah that he too experienced forgiveness and should want the same for Ninevah.
The story is a classic Biblical example of teaching a lesson through imagery and myth. God is merciful and kind to those who are obedient and repentant. If one changes behavior to become a better person, all is forgiven.
While we might scoff at the mythological flavor of the Jonah story and disagree with those who see it as literal truth, it should not be discounted. The Bible and other Scriptures are full of insights and pieces of wisdom useful for life. As we often say here at the Gathering, we take the Bible and other Scriptures seriously, but not literally.
Water is used in the Jonah story and in many other Bible stories as the means by which one is tested and eventually purified or changed. Water is the means by which Jonah tried to escape, the depths into which he was challenged and the means by which he was forgiven. In another Bible story, a flood of water tried, judged and mostly killed humanity. All of creation was saved, however, by an Ark built and sailed by the faithfulness of Noah and his family. Through the Red Sea were Pharoah and the Egyptian army destroyed. And through it were Moses and the Israelites saved as they fled from Egypt. In a baptism of water Jesus was transformed into a prophet of God. In countless other stories and myths, from the Rime of the Ancient Mariner to Moby Dick to the Epic of Gilgamesh – an ancient text about an earth ravaging flood – water is both terrifying in its ability to destroy as it is benign in its cleansing and purifying qualities.
That is the beauty and power of water as a spiritual element and symbol. The same water from which God’s spirit hovered to create life, nearly destroys it in great floods and tsunamis. The still water which the good shepherd leads us to lie next to, also brews into terrible and deadly storms. It is both living water according to Jesus and a deep abyss which is dark, unknown and full of scary creatures. Water soothes, bathes and caresses as much as it burns and drowns. It hydrates and nourishes just as it challenges us with unstoppable power. We need it as much as we fear it.
If that is case, how might we think about and then use water as a spiritual element? We can use the air and our breath to meditate and focus on the soul – the very essence of who we are. We can dig into and commune with soil to see its rich abundance as the stuff of ourselves. Such an understanding compels us not to think too highly of ourselves since we are created from dust and dirt and to them we will return. But how do we commune with and spiritually understand water?
Over the last few weeks I have experienced periods of some sadness and depression. These were not new to me as I have experienced such periods from time to time over my life. I know full well these are self-indulgent pity parties but that awareness does not prevent me from feeling their pain. Last Sunday when I woke up I was so sad and fearful that the outdoor service and planting communion would be a complete flop that it was difficult rallying myself to get ready for church. In my depressions, I will focus on all of the little things in my life that I wish were better or that could go wrong. And yet my clear and rational mind tells me such thoughts are foolish and selfish. I am a very blessed person in so many ways. Usually, I am able to employ a form of self cognitive therapy and change the way I think.
Water, however, assists me in that change and has a curative power over me. As I stood in a warm shower last Sunday and allowed the embrace of water to envelope me, I was soothed and caressed. Some kind of peace came over me and allowed me to move into a more positive mindset. Sitting by an ocean or a lake is peaceful and calming to me. Hearing the murmur of a small fountain or the rhythmic rush of ocean waves on a beach offers gentle reassurance. By touch, sight and sound, water heals me. It changes me. It renews and restores. I love to be near or within water.
And I think I am not unique in this feeling. Jesus told his followers that whoever drank of his living water would never thirst. As I noted earlier, we are reminded in the famous 23rd Psalm that the good shepherd or God leads us beside still waters. The Divine One is often found in placid ponds, azure blue seas, a thunderous waterfall or even a small and tranquil bathtub. In that regard, water has the mysterious ability to wash and to calm us. Just as for Christians it washes away sin and for Muslims it purifies so one can pray to Allah, water physically AND emotionally cleanses us. It may wash away the literal dirt of life but it also washes away our psychological dirt. Warm water not only cleans my body and but it calms my being with its smooth embrace – wrapping me in a liquid blanket. Cascading water is also beautiful to hear because it subconsciously reminds us of the water muffled heartbeats we heard within the womb.
There is a primal pull within us to seek nearness to water. We want its calming power as much as we want its ability to renew and refresh. When I am sad, water revives. When I am anxious, water soothes. When I am in need of reflection in order to change my thinking, water is a peaceful presence. It enables my re-birth.And this re-birth comes not just from water’s ability to create peace. It also comes from the challenges water puts into our lives. The dual nature of water – to calm and to challenge – is a part of its character. When we plunge into its depths to swim, dive, or snorkel, we accept the challenge to enter a foreign realm. Water pulls us downward to suffocate and bury us – to smother the air from our lungs – and yet, if we master its qualities of viscous buoyancy, we can conquer it and move freely within it. I love the freedom and challenge of swimming – to so wondrously glide through it.
When we ride its currents on a boat, we employ its properties of displacement and flotation to travel with even greater ease. Once again, I love being in a boat – any kind of a watercraft – when I can feel like I am master over this domain to sail across its depths, to paddle gently over its waves or to rush along its charging rapids. What a thrill!
At other times when we laugh in the face of a terrific rain storm, build canals, dikes or channels to control its floods, or slide across its frozen form of ice and snow, we accept its taunts to try and control it. What we eventually learn whether it be in swimming, boating or trying to control its power, water allows us just enough ability within it to lull us into thinking we are greater than it. Too soon we find ourselves in ocean currents beyond our power, or in waves too large to navigate or confronting such massive quantities of it that we are overwhelmed. Water is a seductive mistress – luring us with is gentle ways, challenging us with its power and then sharply reminding us that we are nothing in its unfeeling face.
The challenges of water are like life challenges we face. Do we flee or do we engage? As the many Bible stories suggest, water’s ability to confront us with difficulty and hardship is usually a good thing. Noah conquered a flood, Moses escaped through a deep sea, Jonah escaped from its dark depths and even Jesus was figuratively buried into it with his baptism. All were tested. And all emerged and were changed for the better as a result.
That seductive lure to lie by still waters is good, therefore, only to a point. It might calm us for a time but until we meet its power and its challenge, we will not be truly changed. Indeed, an old African proverb says that “It is the calm and silent water that drowns a man.”
Water is thus a spiritual element and metaphor for how we address life. Its curative powers to soothe, embrace, confront, challenge and offer beauty encourages us to both reflect and engage thus enabling a renewal of our thinking. It is no accident, as I have said, that throughout history and within multiple world religions, water is the conduit and the symbol by which we change and by which we are re-born.
Let us each, my good Gathering friends, go down to the riverside, the lakeside or the sea shore this summer. May we find solace and peace in water’s gentle beauty – with breezes whispering across its blue waves. May we hopefully have the opportunity to stand in the open rain exulting in water’s power or swim across a pool and marvel at that chance to meet its power. Let us above all ponder and think and honor the great essential elements of life – air, earth and water. God is in them. Their holiness is all around us, inviting us to let go of our man-made lives and instead plunge into the natural realm with joy and abandon. This June, this summer, I pray for each of us that we return home to nature – the womb, the cradle and the essence of all creation. I wish you, one and all, great peace and much joy…
During this series on essential life elements, we have explored different ways to experience communion other than partaking of bread and grape juice. For water communion, I suggest finding a small piece of terry cloth and a glass of water. Take the cloth and dip it into the water so that it is damp. Now hold it in your hands and prepare your mind for a time of reflection and meditation.
As you hold onto the damp cloth, I hope you will use it to feel the coolness of water…………
think about the soothing influence water has for you………..
conjure in your minds a warm bath……..a cool swim on a warm summer day……..the soft sound of rain falling on a porch roof ……….the slow, rhythmic rush of ocean waves on a beach.
Feel the water in the cloth and imagine yourself floating in some peaceful pool or lake or ocean setting………..the water is all around you and embracing you as you allow your mind and thoughts to simply float.
Feel in your damp cloth communion with all the water around the world.
Feel the power of water in floods and storms………..sense that power in your hands and in the cloth.
If you can, remember times in your life when you have been challenged in life………..and let your image of water’s power be a metaphor for that life challenge you have experienced.
See yourself overcoming that challenge – thinking and working and striving to grow and learn and change.
Let this water be a symbol for you of such growth and re-birth.
Allow yourself now to feel as calm as possible right now. Let this communion water take you to lie down beside still waters………….the grass is fresh and full of flowers……….a slight breeze blows across the water………….and you are completely at peace.
-
June 12, 2011, "Essential Elements: Earth, the Stuff of Life"
Message 60, “Essential Elements: Earth, the Stuff of Life”, 6-12-11
© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, UCC, All Rights Reserved
A man is said to have once asked a wise Rabbi why humanity seems so incapable of seeing the face of God. “Why can’t humanity reach high enough to see the Divine?” he asked. The Rabbi replied that it is not in looking to the high places that we find God, it is in stooping over, kneeling and looking down that we find Holiness.
Interestingly, Henry David Thoreau in his famous work Walden, commented that as he looked down on an ant climbing through a patch of dirt, it seemed so small and insignificant. And yet, he soon realized, it was he and all humanity that is truly small. “Let us,” he wrote, “spend one day as deliberately as Nature…Let us not be upset and overwhelmed in that terrible rapid and whirlpool called life. If the bell rings, why should we run? Let us settle ourselves, and work and wedge our feet downward through the mud and slush of opinion, and prejudice, and tradition, and delusion, and appearance, through Church and State, through poetry and philosophy and religion, till we come to a hard bottom with rocks in place, which we can call reality, and say, ‘This is!’”
For the Rabbi in our story and for Thoreau, absolute Truth or God is found in low and humble places. It is in the dirt and muck of life. I daresay if Jesus were to walk the earth today, he likely would not seek God in the great Cathedrals of Europe or the multi-million dollar edifices some religions construct. He would not even be found in our small storefront space here in Over-the-Rhine. If he were not outdoors as we are or on some mountainside, he’d be in a homeless shelter, a run-down clinic in Africa tending to AIDS patients or some broken shack of a church in Haiti where people cling to faith as the only solace they can find. And with him would be Abraham, Mohammad, Buddha, Krishna, Confucious and other prophets as well.
Genuine spirituality, I believe, does not call attention to itself or even pretend in grandiose fashion to honor the Divine. Indeed, I believe God is in the manure of our universe – the earthy, dirty, elemental but very real stuff of life.
As we continue our series this month looking to finding Holiness in the essential elements of life – air, earth and water, today we will look down, to where our feet trod. And this is a perfect place to be for such a message. What greater church building could we claim then the grass, the trees, the weeds and the dirt of all creation? If the air we breathe and sense all around us is, as we discussed last week, the pathway to our souls and the very essence of what defines us as individuals, then I propose that the earth – the soil and substance of our universe – is both a metaphor and the reality of what we are as living creatures. To put it bluntly, we are physically the manure, the dirt and the substance of all existence. We are it and it is us. If that is so, what does that say about how we see ourselves as creatures of this planet and what does that say about how we should act and behave in life?
If we look down at the dirt all around us and chemically analyzed it, we would find that soil is largely comprised of two parts – stabilized organic matter and active organic matter. One part is mature soil, as some would call it, which has been broken down to its basic elemental components and which can be absorbed and used by only the most primitive of organisms like fungi or bacteria. The other is active organic material which is still in the process of being digested, eaten or broken down by higher forms of life. The soil at our feet – and the stuff throughout the universe – is chemically mostly carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, silicon, iron and a few other compounds.
If we now turn to look at our hands, and chemically analyze our own bodies, we would find much the same but in slightly different percentages. Our body mass is 65% oxygen, 18% carbon, 10% hydrogen, followed in smaller amounts by nitrogen, calcium, phosphorus, potassium, sodium and other compounds. The stuff of us is pretty much the same as the stuff of the dirt at our feet. Indeed, we may well be walking upon the stuff of some far distant ancestors just as our great, great, great grandchildren may well one day walk upon us or use us to fill a pot to grow a flower.
Walt Whitman, a favorite poet of mine and one whom I often reference, wrote in his famous anthology, Leaves of Grass, “A child said ‘What is the grass?’ fetching it to me with full hands; How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than she….It seems to me, though, the beautiful uncut hair of graves. Tenderly will I use you curling grass, It may be you transpire from the breasts of young men, It may be if I had known them I would have loved them, It may be you are from old people, or from offspring taken soon out of their mothers’ laps…The smallest sprout shows there is really no death, And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it…All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses, And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.”
In his beautiful free verse form of poetry, Whitman evoked not only the essential American ethic of human equality, he wrote of a spirituality of life and existence. To celebrate nature is to celebrate oneself. He spoke of the earth as a voluptuous, blossomed, vitreous and limpid lover that simply waits for our embrace and union with it. As he wrote in explicitly sensual terms for a man of his time, Whitman called his readers to see all of creation as engaged in a dance of lovemaking – seeking, yearning, and lusting for communion and oneness.
And Thoreau, as a Romantic writer himself, wrote in much the same manner. “The indescribable innocence and beneficence of Nature — of sun and wind and rain, of summer and winter — such health, such cheer, they afford forever! and such sympathy have they ever with our race, that all Nature would be affected, Shall I not have intelligence with the earth? Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself?”
This vision of nature, earth and humanity speaks of a wonderful theology to which we can all find common ground. Whoever or whatever made this universe, we know it is all made from the same source of materials. And if this is the case, that I am nothing but an animated conglomeration of ancient dirt, I believe such a notion must speak to me of how I should see myself and my place in the totality of existence. I am insignificant. I am but a sprout of grass, a twig, a mote of dust drifting across a vast and void realm of space. Far be it for me to claim some lofty titles such as Pastor, American, son, partner, father, person of insight. If I am the stuff of earthy dirt, I am everything and I am nothing.
Several commentators have observed that the common language root of the word ‘humus’ – or dirt – shares that root with the word ‘humility.’ And this idea calls us back to how I began today’s message – to the notion that we must look down and not up to find the Divine One. We are to adopt an attitude of humus, of dirt, of humility in order to see, feel and be at one with that which is Holy and spiritual.
It is no accident that in his parable of the soils, Jesus made a similar point. He said, “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear…the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it.”
I believe the words which Jesus called us to hear and practice are that our hearts must be full of good soil – of rich, dark, organic, earthy stuff. In that sense, we are to act and live humbly in tune with the ethic of the Divine One – to love, serve and think beyond ourselves. Such humility does not call us to debase ourselves or live with a false sense of modesty. It calls us to understand the essential us, warts and all, and our relative role in the grand scheme of existence – which is no more important than the ants that walk across the ground. Such was the message of Jesus, Whitman and Thoreau. Humble thyself in the face of God – the earth, the soil, the stuff of life – for indeed you are it!
There is an Alcoholics Anonymous phrase that says, “The challenge is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less often.” Even more to the point, there is a story of a famous violinist who was asked how she could play so brilliantly. This violinist replied that the task was not difficult at all. “I have beautiful music to play, a splendid instrument and a splendid bow. All I have to do is bring them together and get out of the way!”
Is that not the challenge for all of us? To simply get out of the way of life and simply exist as we are – no more than a conglomeration of dirt? In this message today, it is not I that speaks to you – oh great and wonderful me! It is the ideas and thoughts I have collected and spoken to you. Do not look to me! Look to the words and concepts for anything of use or value. Might we all live in the same manner?
Genuine humility calls us to see ourselves as we truly are – and that is, as I have said, simply dirt. Humility is to think of ourselves as part of a whole where our actions, thoughts and opinions are no more important than those of others. To cultivate this good humus or soil in us, we must lose the sense of self – we must let go of the ego. That was the ethic of Jesus and of Buddha. The rich are not greater than the poor. The white person no more beautiful than the black, brown or yellow. The strong no better than the weak. The gay man and woman no different than the heterosexual. The self-important manner by which we often think and act is actually quite comical – to strut across the stage of life, puffing out our chests and making this demand or that arrogant opinion when, in fact, we are like the foolish tyrant who will end up on the ash heap of life, the same as everyone else. You, me, all of us – we are simply manure – as great and as humble as that is.
This spirituality of nature and of earth is not intended to demean humanity. It is simply to remind us that we are like Walt Whitman observed – leaves of grass sprouting here, withering and dying there, eaten for a time and flowering for another. For me, I must reject the false theology that claims humanity is the apex of creation, intended as God’s great and final masterpiece. How can I claim such status when I exist as I am for only a time and then I will exist as something else – a puff of air blowing across the continent, a furrow of soil ready to nourish a field of wheat, or a stream of water cascading down some rocky cliff? For me, that is the resurrection I know and observe and find by reason – not the one created by some ancient writer to address pre-scientific superstition. To exist as air, earth or water was my past and that is my splendid destiny.
Dear friends, as we sit here in the midst of the great outdoors, this oasis in a dessert of man-made emptiness, let us not feel we are somehow removed and apart from the creation we see and hear. When we feel the great power of nature, I believe we sense similar powers inside of ourselves – the eternal forces of creation, birth, life, death and renewal. We sing the song of ourselves, we celebrate the stuff of life, the air and water and material of the universe. That which is all around us is Holy just as we are Holy – sacramental elements so beautiful and so wondrous. We have existed for millions of years and we will drift into an eternal future – changed in form but no less vital. We are the humble soil of far away galaxies called into human existence just for a time – to live, to laugh, to cry, to love…and most importantly, to serve.
I wish you all much peace and even more joy.
-
June 5, 2011, "Essential Elements: Air, the Breath of Life"
Message 59, “Essential Elements: Air the Breath of Life”, 6-5-11
© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, UCC, All Rights Reserved
Walt Whitman, the great American poet, once said, “Now I see the secret of making the best person: it is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth.”
And as a long summer now lies ahead, I am drawn again to the great outdoors and to the natural realm. Like many of you, it is a place I love to spend my time and where I feel closest to the Divine. Hiking a forest trail, mowing my lawn and smelling the sweet, pungent cut grass or swimming in the warm ocean, I am the most fulfilled. And in those times and spaces, I find contact with what it is that Whitman often wrote. We do not simply visit nature as tourists. We go back to it. Nature is our womb and our home. We are a part of the natural order and its elements are a part of us. I do not seek the stale religion of musty sanctuaries, ancient writings and tired platitudes. Mine is to seek a spirituality of growth and vitality and joy. It seeks understanding of the universe around me and also that which is deep within my mind and soul. If we could worship each and every Sunday in a cathedral of giant trees or a field of wild flowers, I would gladly give up this space.For our message series this month, I want to explore the three natural elements that give us life, that comprise who we are and allow us to survive. In these messages ahead, I hope to dig our hands into the dark soil of the earth – that which feeds us and is the essence of our physical beings. From the earth we came and to the earth we will one day return. I want to fill our lungs with pure air, deep and cleansing and mysterious. Air is all around us and yet unseen – alive with power and spiritual force. And, I want to bathe in liquid water that purifies, soothes and embraces. As Jesus said, we were born through water and, in it, we find renewal. Today, and in the following two Sundays, let us celebrate summer meditations on the essential elements of life………..air, earth and water.
For each of us, we were not counted as a living person until we took our first breath. I well remember those of my two daughters – what a privilege it is to ear that first plaintive wail – “I’m alive!” that comes from a newborn as he or she breathes for the first time. And, we will not cease to be counted as a living person until our lungs inhale one final time. Air is the breath of life. Without food we can live four to six weeks. Without water, we can survive 3 to 5 days. Without air, we will live only 3 to 4 minutes. But I don’t want to ponder our biological need for this element. I seek to understand its mysterious realm – the power of wind, spirit and breath that is holy. Indeed, the Bible story of creation says that after humanity was physically created, God poured his breath – his air – into humankind. For many of us, air seems to come from some Divine but unknowable source. We understand its physical properties and atomic structures, but we too frequently ignore its spiritual presence and purpose in our lives – in the fragrance of a flower, the rush of a breeze, the sound of a bell chime, the mysteries it allows us to discover through deep breathing. Lacking scientific understanding of air and wind, the Bible writers called it ruach, which in Hebrew is often translated as spirit. The air is spirit. It is unseen, unknown, ephemeral. And yet it is felt and its power observed. As much as we might reduce air to a movement of molecules, I want to elevate it to its proper and spiritual place in our lives.
I believe the single greatest motivating factor in any of our lives is to find the purpose for our life. And, as I have said many times, our true purpose is not to simply exist for ourselves but to live so that we leave behind ripples in an ocean of time – small waves we generate that expand outward and impact creation for countless years into the future. In order to purposefully serve, however, we must understand the meaning of our individual lives. This comes, I believe, from understanding our souls – the very essence of who we are. When we employ only rational thought and reasoned thinking to understand our personal meaning, we engage in a form of callous agnosticism. We ignore or even reject the mysterious reality of our souls – something by reason or science we are unable to identify.
For Christians, Jews, Hindus and Buddhists, the soul is a form of spirit or air. It is not tangible or a thing we can easily point to like something solid. Is is simply there. As the Jewish and Christian God poured into humankind a soul with the puff of first breath, Hindu and Buddhist spirituality finds the soul accessible only through our breathing. It floats on the air we inhale and exhale. Only in finding that soul of ours can we truly feel, experience and enjoy nature, other people and the essential elements of life. Air then becomes not just a physical vehicle for sustaining life, it is life – it is our soul and the souls of those all around us. When we focus on the air and on our breathing, we touch our inner heart which cries and laughs, feels joy and pain and is the REAL us.
This mystery soul within us defines the person we are. And it is in that self-definition that we are then able to understand the great purpose we have in life. What does my soul tell me about myself? Doug is contemplative, sensitive, aware and sensual. This is not my personality which is influenced by outside forces. My soul is the essential me as I was originally created. As I continually seek greater understanding of my soul, I can then embark on the purpose of my life – to serve others according to the unique qualities of my soul.
Even as I find my inner self, I am still left with mystery and unknown spiritual forces at work in my life. My soul will guide me to places I have no idea where. Jesus said “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit or Ruach.” For those who know their true soul, it is possible to understand our past but we cannot know our future. We drift much like the wind, as unsettling as that is for many of us. Indeed, asking me just two short years ago if I would stand here now as Pastor, I would have laughed. And yet, I know my soul brought me here and is allowing me to partially fulfill my life purpose of service. My soul, acting as the air all around me, guided me to the Gathering and will lead me to destinations of which I can only dream.
When asked what gives a person full awakening and enlightenment, the Buddha is reported to have said, “Be mindful of your breathing.” All the keys to existence and meaning are found in our breathing and in the air. Indeed, it is said by Hindus and Buddhists that the breath is the pathway to the soul. Meditative breathing opens up our inner hearts and inner minds. As much as it is a channel to our souls, breath is also the soul itself. Such a concept is certainly not provable as much as it is intuitive and knowable by experience. When I sit with mountains all around me and deeply breathe in the crisp, cool air, I begin to know things. As each of us might attest, walking through a rain damp forest with the earth and pine filling our nostrils, or swimming across a lake as we stroke by stroke pull lungfuls of fresh air, these are times of clarity and vision and spiritual awakening. We are in touch with our very souls. And the same holds true in meditation or focused breathing. Breathing adds to our soul experiences and eliminates the toxins within us. Beyond expelling carbon dioxide from our bodies, deep breathing cleanses us of worry, doubt, fear and pain. And it energizes life within us. It enlarges and clarifies our who we are.
Such meditative or mindful breathing involves finding a quiet place to sit and relax. Buddhists encourage deep breaths inhaled through the nose and then a short pause before slowly exhaling. Pulling from a relaxed stomach or diaphragm, we might envision air entering and exiting through our navels. With our eyes closed and our minds focused on our breathing, our minds move away from the concerns, dreams and issues of life. We drift like the wind, as Jesus said, to a new understanding of who we are. Air is allowed to fill every part of our body – not just our lungs. And we exhale in the same manner – breathing out from every part of ourselves.
Hindus encourage the same breathing practice but with a different technique. In the Hindu manner, we assume a meditative pose, sitting and relaxed, eyes closed or focused on an object straight ahead of us, and then breathe deeply through a slightly open mouth. Inhale deeply, pause and then exhale in a way that produces a slight “ha” sound. This ocean breathing as it is called, because it mimics ocean sounds, is called practical spirituality for the Hindu. Instead of emphasizing philosophical thinking or performing dutiful good deeds, this breathing practice opens up such worlds to us with little mental or physical activity. Ocean breathing is practical because we find answers to the questions we ponder. Ocean breathing leads us to actions we should take – instead of acting blindly. More importantly, this breathing – this taking in of air – engages the calm center in us and allows to fully feel, sense and experience the world around us.
After learning of this technique, I sat in my garden last week and tried ocean breathing. Thoughts played regularly across my mind but I returned my focus to my breaths and, in doing so, I did sense all that I rarely heard or felt before – the soft rustle of wind in the trees, a far off coo of a morning dove, the murmur of water in my pond, the salt sweet scent of ocean air, the enfolding heat of the sun, even sensing the drifting of clouds across a blue sky. I cannot say I found great and profound truths – perhaps with more practice I will. But this was religion and church and spirituality for me – as it always is when I allow myself to escape from the man-made world I usually inhabit. And in the air and in my breathing, I could reach inside of myself and then open back up to a more real world. Indeed, Buddhists say this is like the opening of a lotus flower – through our breathing of fresh air, our minds and souls bloom.
While earlier I spoke of our individual purposes in life, we must also think of the purpose for our little congregation. Why do we exist and what purpose do we serve here? That is a question I often ponder each time I determine a monthly message series theme. What will we accomplish by hearing and thinking about a topic? I certainly do not want to act as an expert guide. I speak on many issues of which I am not an expert. But I hope to point us in a direction of reflection and discussion that will improve our thinking, our actions and our lives. In doing so, I hope that also improves our interactions with the wider world – how we care for, treat and serve other people and other creatures.
As we think about the qualities of air that adds spiritual energy to our lives, I hope we can each reflect on its mystical, mysterious and unknown aspects. Air is essential to physical life but it is just as essential to spiritual life. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, the famous English nineteenth century poet, once said, “He lives most life who breathes most air.” At first blush, the saying seems obvious – the longer we live, the more air we breathe. But I believe that is not what Browning intended in her statement. Air is a puff of enlightenment, a wind that fills our sails of self, a breeze that awakens and defines our souls. In the air is God. She and He wafts across its transparent vapors to inhabit us. Air is our soul, our being, our life. In pondering these thoughts, I conclude with a poem by Henry Van Dyke, an American theologian and poet of the early 1900’s. “God of the Open Air” speaks to the spirituality of which I have spoken…
Thou who hast made thy dwelling fair
With flowers beneath, above with starry lights,
And set thine altars everywhere,–
On mountain heights,
In woodlands dim with many a dream,
In valleys bright with springs,
And on the curving capes of every stream:
Thou who hast taken to thyself the wings
Of morning, to abide
Upon the secret places of the sea,
And on far islands, where the tide
Visits the beauty of untrodden shores,
Waiting for worshippers to come to thee
In thy great out-of-doors!
To thee I turn, to thee I make my prayer,
God of the open air. Angel of Air,
Holy messenger of the Earthly Mother,
Enter deep within me,
As the swallow plummets from the sky,
That I may know the secrets of the wind
And the music of the stars. -
May 22, 2011, "Life Lessons from Women in the Bible"
Message 58, “Life Lessons from Women in the Bible”, 5-22-11
© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering UCC, All Rights Reserved
One day in the Garden of Eden, woman called out to God and complained of her boredom. “I love the beautiful garden, the flowers, trees and animals but there is nobody to talk to except for a funny snake. I don’t know what to do with myself.” “Well Eve,” said God, “I have a solution for you! I will create man for you as a companion. He won’t be as smart as you but he’ll be bigger and a bit stronger so he can help you here in the garden. He’ll talk to you, but not as much as you might want and he will revel in silly things like kicking a ball and fighting. He will also need your advice on lots of things but, overall, he will be a friend and a companion.” “OK,” said Eve. “Man sounds pretty good. What is the catch, though, God?” “Well,” said God, “man will be arrogant and self-admiring so you will have to let him think that I created him first. Just remember, it’s our secret…………..woman to woman!”
It is sad to say, but such a story is wishful thinking. As the real Bible story goes, man was created first, then Eve. And, depending on which account you follow, either that in the first chapter of Genesis or that of the second, woman was created out of the side of Adam – supposedly to symbolize how the female is to be a helper and so-called side-kick to man.
But that issue speaks to a larger point about the Bible and other faith Scriptures as well. They are open to multiple interpretations none of which, I believe, should be considered definitive or absolute. As with all works of literature and history, we have to use our own reason and applied knowledge to find meaning and truth in the Bible.
For centuries, the interpretation of Eve and other women in the Bible has been unflattering. And that was mostly done by men. Indeed, it is Eve who has long been considered the one responsible for the entry of sin into our world. The Bible story regarding the Fall goes as follows, “Now the snake was the most clever of all the wild animals that God had made. One day the snake said to the woman, “Did God really say that you must not eat fruit from any tree in the garden?” The woman answered the snake, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden. But God told us, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden. You must not even touch it, or you will die.’ ” But the snake said to the woman, “You will not die. God knows that if you eat the fruit from that tree, you will learn about good and evil and you will be like God! The woman saw that the tree was beautiful, that its fruit was good to eat, and that it would make her wise. So she took some of its fruit and ate it. She also gave some of the fruit to her husband who was with her, and he ate it. Then, it was as if their eyes were opened. They realized they were naked, so they sewed fig leaves together and made something to cover themselves.”
The story, which I believe is myth, was partially borrowed from other ancient cultures by Jews writing around 500 BCE to explain where humanity came from. It is a straightforward and relatively simple story. Eve, acting as any reasonable person, wanted to acquire wisdom for herself and she offered the same to Adam. She was a free thinker who determined that the serpent’s words had resonance – I have a God-given brain capable of knowing good and evil. Adam, however, simply accepted and ate the apple. No conniving and no female seduction is evident in the Scripture words. “Here, try this.” OK! In many respects, Adam comes off looking a bit dumb – he does not question Eve or the apple given to him. He simply takes and eats.
But thousands of theologians have looked at the same story and interpreted something sinister in Eve’s actions. She was the weak one who was capable of being tempted and tricked. Further, according to such theology, she then seduced Adam with her female allure to get him to eat. Why else would intelligent man eat the apple without question or protest. In other words, Eve – as the symbolic ancestor of all future women – was easily tricked and tempted. Satan did not dare go after man – he was too smart and obedient!! But then Eve used her female skills – in all of her nakedness – to get Adam to also eat. Eve is not much better than Satan – in this view – she is a temptress! Look at these famous images of the fall – both created by men but reflective of longstanding views of the Fall…
The first, by Albrect Durer, shows Eve with a slight smile as she seductively takes the apple from the serpent and offers it to Adam. He, though, is so smitten and overwhelmed with her wily charms that he does not even care about the apple – he is interested in one thing only as he suggestively reaches out toward Eve. While the image also implies a sexual nature to all forms of temptation, it is Eve who is almost in collusion with Satan in tricking Adam into eating the apple – all through sex and seduction.
The second image suggests the same
– and this is a much more famous painting by Michelangelo from the Sistine Chapel. Again, looking to the left of the image, Eve takes the apple, but look at her highly suggestive position in regards to Adam. The implied message from the painting, as I interpret it, is that Eve seduced and tricked Adam into sin. It is all her fault. It is all the fault of women. We must be wary of their false, manipulative and evil ways according to such theology. Men must learn from this in order to control women in their weakness and propensity to be tempted and then a tempter. I know this is only my interpretation of these images but century’s old theology holds Eve primarily responsible for the fall of humanity. This, I believe, led directly to religious and cultural control of women.
My point today, however, is not to beat the same drum that I did last week – that patriarchy is something that must be overcome. My hope today is to point out the misleading theology and interpretations that call it sin to use reason, intelligence and rational thought to discern good and evil. Indeed, as much as the Bible tells us that it is wrong to think of ourselves as like God or as little gods – as we just read from Scripture – I believe the exact opposite. That is what the creative forces of the universe – or God – achieved in humanity….a species capable of using highly advanced brains and intelligence to discern, on our own, good from evil. If that is to be like God, so be it.
Even if Eve tempted Adam – which I do not interpret the story to say – she was using evolutionary or God-given reasoning powers to think and act as her own free agent. It is not sin to think. It is sin, in my humble opinion, NOT to think and to blindly accept as fact that which we are told. For many, that is the difference between religion and spirituality. The former is human created based on human interpretation of ancient writings. The latter is mysterious, unknown and transcendent stuff which beckons us to think, question and explore.
From Eve, we learn a lot. She was not the mere handmaiden to Adam. If she is to be credited with the fall of humanity, then we must at least give her due acknowledgement for the wit and ability it took to question God’s command – and to establish a morality that resonates today – free thinking and rationality. We think therefore we are, to paraphrase the famous philosopher Descartes. Indeed, Eve thought on her own, she proved her own existence as a person and she offers us such a life lesson.
One other female character from the Bible, whom I want to examine today, is Jezebel. We all know the name but few know her Biblical story. As a princess from Phoenicia, a coastal nation, she married the king of Northern Israel, Ahab, as a political move to unite an inland nation with one that had access to the sea. Israel was a divided Kingdom around 600 to 500 BCE with the North having drifted, according to the Bible, toward apostasy and paganism. Jezebel is blamed as a primary instigator of that. The Bible story tells us that Jezebel induced King Ahab to convert from Judaism to the worship of Baal – a god of wine and fertility. According to legend and the Bible, Baal worship involved the liberal drinking of wine and lots of sex – all done at Temples dedicated to him. (Now that must have been one interesting church service!) Eventually Elijah, the famous prophet who foreshadowed Jesus’ resurrection by ascending straight to heaven without dying, came to denounce King Ahab, Jezebel and the worship of Baal. According to the Biblical story found in the book of Kings, a climactic scene resulted when Elijah confronts 450 prophets of Baal in a duel to see who could end a drought brought on by God. With lots of shouting, singing and marching, the Baal prophets proved impotent thus indicating the fallacy of Baal. Elijah and God bring back rain and thus prove Yahweh’s omnipotence. King Ahab is killed, he is replaced by a successor named Jehu who then proceeds to kill Jezebel. In a scene from which she earned her dark reputation, Jezebel – who is old at this point – takes time to apply makeup and mascara and to don her finest dresses when she learns Jehu is on his way to her. Theologians describe her as a wanton woman inclined to seduction and disloyalty because they say she wanted to lure the new king with her charm. Scripture says nothing of the sort. Instead, her actions point to a woman determined to die in her own way, as a Queen and with her dignity intact. She was thrown out a window and her body consumed by dogs. But she did, indeed, die as a stately Queen in all of her finery.
This theological interpretation of Jezebel comes directly from that of Eve and other women in the Bible – as connivers and deceivers of good and decent men. It was Jezebel who introduced belief in a pagan god and it was her who wantonly used sexual attractiveness to lure her unsuspecting husband and later King Jehu. This interpretation of her – and strong women like her – remains even today. Watch a more contemporary interpretation of a Jezebel-like woman and note the words used in the captions… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgVm0Z6lleY (click on preceding link to watch video)
What we hopefully learn from Jezebel is that being strong, intelligent and disobedient to prevailing cultural or religious thought is actually a good thing. While perhaps I went too far last week in describing an all dominant patriarchal culture – it is a telling commentary on our culture when a popular movie of the last century suggested independent woman like Bette Davis’ character should be whipped. While the film was made in 1938, such a view of women has lasted thousands of years and still exists today in many areas of our world. Sadly, our world is not free from patriarchy.
We are all encouraged, I hope, to question rigid religious dogma and to explore other paths to Divine truth. Whether that Truth be supernatural or, instead, a scientific explanation, it is an unknown source of which any of us are only dimly aware. Eve and Jezebel were willing to stand up to religious certainty and, while we may all chuckle at Jezebel’s worship of a fertility god, we can also marvel and worship, like her, at the creative or fertile forces still at work in the universe.
The ideal female character from the Bible, besides the virginal Mary, is often said to be Ruth – described in a Biblical book bearing her name. The story is of a young woman from Moab who marries the son of a wealthy landowner from Israel who had moved to Moab to escape that nation’s drought. When this landowner and his sons die, leaving Ruth and her sister – along with her mother-in-law Naomi – as widows, they must make a decision whether to return to Israel or remain in Moab. Ruth’s sister chooses the latter but Ruth, with heartfelt loyalty, pledges her fidelity to Jewish Naomi by saying, “Where you go, I will go; your people shall be my people and your God my God.”
When they do return to Israel, Naomi and Ruth meet a distant relative of Naomi’s deceased husband. According to ancient Jewish levirate law, a man was to always marry the widow of a relative in order to keep the deceased’s lineage alive. Naomi declares herself too old to marry again but encourages Ruth to insinuate herself into Boaz’s life – the unsuspecting relative – so that he will marry her and thus preserve Naomi’s family line. In a very sensual scene, Ruth joins Boaz on a wheat threshing floor and then lies down at his feet while he naps. This, according to the custom, indicated betrothal and a willingness to obey and be a wife. Boaz accepts Ruth as his wife, he buys the land of his deceased relative and the two eventually produce a male heir – who would be father to the legendary King David. In reading the New Testament book of Matthew, we see that author, writing many hundreds of years later, added Ruth as an ancestor of Jesus – the only woman so named. The humble, loyal, obedient foreign woman became a great-great-great-great, etc. grandmother to Jesus – the man the Bible says is the Son of God.
Theological interpretations of this story focus on Ruth’s ideal female virtues with an implicit contrast to Eve, Jezebel, Baathsheba, Mary Magdalene and other so called bad women of the Bible. God will be faithful to those who are faithful, and women, especially, are called to be obedient. They must check their inclinations to question prevailing religious orthodoxy and male authority with pure faith – in God and in the supposed goodness of men.
While I do not question women who choose to be wives and mothers, I hope as I said two weeks ago on Mother’s Day that such decisions are freely made and motivated by sincere desires. Cultural coercion or mere compliance with prevailing thinking does not advance any of us. Indeed, we all encourage that here at the Gathering. Last week, it seems my message was either totally loved or completely disagreed with. I don’t ever want to speak to an amen corner here. Differing thoughts and viewpoints challenge our thinking – especially my own.
While time constraints will prevent us from having a talk back time today, I deeply value it and I want a free and respectful exchange of thoughts and ideas here. We welcome dissent and voices of gentle and respectful disagreement. In the process, we all learn. While we can and should arrive at our own opinions, differences in religion, politics, love, life and general habits are wonderful – they make the world interesting and they help us grow. Ruth, in her willing conformity to the religion and ways of her adopted family was not evil. Her actions speak, however, of a woman inclined to not question or buck the prevailing trend. Perhaps we should see her character as sincere in her willingness to accept a foreign God – but, if so, then we must also accept as sincere Jezebel’s decision to NOT accept such a God. As I often say and as is a prevailing motto here at the Gathering, nobody and no religion has access to absolute Truth. We may believe our ways are correct and that is good. But we must be open to other truths and other paths to absolute Truth – whether that be God, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, Confucius or a physics principle like Thermodynamics. Let us explore with minds and hearts wide open. Let us learn to embrace Eve for her brave defiance and willing questions. Let us celebrate the strong and purposeful Jezebels of the world who chart their own course in life – adding to diversity and greater understanding for us all.
Let us always be people who value questions far more than absolute certainty. Let us use the miraculous brains we have to explore and think about large questions like existence and meaning. To paraphrase another verse from the Bible, faith without reason is shallow and a form of blind idolatry. The Bible characters of Eve, Jezebel and even Ruth point us to such a standard.
I wish you all peace and joy…..
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May 15, 2011, "Life Lessons from Women in History"
Message 57, “Life Lessons from Women in History”, 5-15-11
© Doug Slagle, Pastor Gathering UCC, All Rights Reserved
Last week, after my message on motherhood, women and gender roles, and considering my message topics this month would focus on women and what we can learn from them, I was anxious to discuss these issues with my two daughters Amy and Sara. It fascinated me when these two young women – who enjoy the fruits of female equality – adamantly stated that if women truly led the world and its many governments and corporations, it would be a much better place. No war, reduced poverty, less materialism, and more compassion would all result. They are feminists who also enjoy being wooed and admired by understanding boyfriends. Nevertheless, for them, the ills of our world are directly attributable to men. I could not and did not argue with them. In many respects, they are right.
Kofi Anan, the former UN Secretary General, once said “For countless generations women have served as peace educators both in their families and in their societies. They have been instrumental in building bridges rather than walls.” One critic remarked, in response, that if women have acted as natural peacemakers and bridge builders, why have they not used their influence to abolish war? There is a naysayer in every crowd.
Human society, my friends, is currently competitive, aggressive, and driven. We are encouraged to achieve, acquire, and compete. War and conflict are seen as inevitable events. We are often self-focused, individualistic, violent in speech and conduct, and driven to succeed to acquire material things to live a supposedly better life. Our global culture lives according to a male ethos.
And, to put it bluntly, women have not been permitted to express their voice – their more natural inclinations to value community, compassion and peace. Despite the fact that women now comprise over half of the world’s population, they perform two-thirds of its labor. Women earn one-tenth of global income and own one-hundredth of world property. Is it any wonder why, in a world dominated by men, women have been unable to end war?
The Bible tells us that, for Jesus, there exist neither male nor female. People are simply people – not defined by gender, race, nationality, sexuality or religion. Gloria Steinem, in a contemporary update of that Bible passage, said, “We are talking about building a society in which there will be no specific gender roles other than those chosen or those earned. We are really talking about humanism.”
But that is a world yet to be built – a culture of humanity where the best qualities of women and men work together. That culture will embrace peaceful competition, communal interest over selfish interest, and creative innovation through collaboration and cooperation.
I believe such a world is at the threshold of existence. As women are finding their voice, men are increasingly listening. In a book entitled Women and Economics, it is asserted that we are on the cusp of profound social and cultural evolutionary change in terms of gender influence. No longer will male oriented impulses like aggression and competition dominate. A new era of gender neutral qualities will be at hand. This author, Charlotte Gilman, believes that the competing gender impulses of men have held back greater growth in world economies – including our own. Males, with their individualistic and competitive natures have indeed helped produce economic growth throughout the world. But such growth has had its costs. Warfare, environmental destruction, religious competition and unrestrained nationalism have reached a point where social and economic progress is hurt rather than advanced. Male attitudes, operating alone, are increasingly recognized as no longer sustainable. Men are increasingly recognizing that building community, working for social justice, caring for the environment and finding ways to reconcile differences are key to human survival. Ultimately, they are heeding life lessons women have long advocated. This, according to Gilman, is revolutionary in scope. We are no longer talking about gender equality but an entirely new way of understanding and thinking – combining the best qualities of all people.
Without resorting to hard and fast gender stereotypes, men build things through their assertive, competitive and acquisitive natures. Women, on the other hand, often seek to conserve resources and look out for communal interests – since biologically they must give birth and then feed the first expression of communal life – that of mother and child. Human society is evolving to a point where gender differences are no longer competitive – with one gender assuming a dominant role. As Jesus and Steinem noted in the quotes I cited earlier, there will be neither male interests nor female interests but, instead, one common interest.
I believe, as I said last week, that we must avoid biological determinism regarding our behavior. Yet, science and observation has shown that men are generally by nature inclined to be aggressive, independent, non-verbal, and unemotional. In studies of infants, girls recognize faces more easily and they tend to acquire verbal skills at an earlier age. Boy infants tend to be more physically active, spatially aware, easily distracted and visually stimulated. The cues and impulses which follow us through life are apparent in the crib long before culture has had its influence.
Writing in the contemporary magazine, “The Network Journal” which speaks to the interests of those in the professional world, James Libert identifies from his studies several distinct female characteristics – most of which are not surprising. Female workers are more collaborative, nurturing, communicative and community centered. They typically have more emotional connections with co-workers and they tend to display more social and emotional skills like sharing, putting others first and empathy. The end result, he says, is that women often foster a better work environment that enables economic success. Men, he says, must “woman up” in the workplace and in life to avoid the pitfalls of their own aggression and competitive natures. Importantly, he cautions men not to give up their better qualities of confidence, drive and assertiveness. The goal is to combine – not give up – the best of male qualities with those of women.
Despite all of these facts about gender roles, we are not captives of biology. Women can become physically capable – the fastest and strongest women are far beyond the abilities of the average male. And men can acquire social and verbal skills that make them more empathetic and sensitive. In other words, biology has its influence but it is not absolute. We can learn and change our behaviors.
If we look to important women in history, we will find examples of the female voice – one that has often cried out in the wilderness for peace and social welfare. Women have natural instincts that can instruct us – and I do not say this to be patronizing. I was and am fascinated by what many women in my life have to say about how to act – my daughters, my friends, my mother, my sister, many of you. I do not demean men for their often macho attitudes as much as I believe the male species yearns to understand and feel the emotional connection many women feel for others, the altruistic concern and love for family and total stranger, the ability to talk and listen one’s way through a problem, the distaste for physical combat. Men do not wish to relinquish their masculinity as much as they want permission to incorporate gentleness, nurture and empathy into their demeanor. Too often men are like actors on a stage – they are expected to behave according to a role defined for them by our culture. But they know it is an act and they know they wear a mask. The exclusively macho persona is a role many men would like to give up.
Great women from history have already taught us much about how to live life in a manner that expresses Jesus’ Golden Rule – to treat others as we wish to be treated. When we consider historic peace movements, it is remarkable that they have been significantly led by women. I do not believe this is coincidence. Women, in general, are peacemakers. And this is not the kind of peace that is negotiated after a war in which one side loses and one wins. Too often that is a temporary and vindictive peace that leads to another war.
Women like Julia Ward Howe who issued the Mother’s Day Proclamation of 1870 – which we read earlier as our responsive reading – were peace advocates who asked for an end to all wars. Since most women were mothers, this was an issue of great concern to them. Their sons were continually being slaughtered. For many women who feel that innate emotion and connection from giving birth, any taking of life is hideous.
While I admittedly generalize here, men simply plant the seed in reproduction. There is little investment. Women, on the other hand, must incubate, sustain, nurture and feed the offspring – usually over several years. The investment of time, emotion, blood, sweat and tears is so much greater. If men might understand and empathize with this perspective, the wanton killing of human life will be seen as costly and horribly tragic. For many men, war is full of honor and glory in that ultimate form of competition – life against life. For many women, there is no honor in the death of a son or daughter in whom so much time and love has been invested. Whether or not they are mothers, women know and feel this emotion.
And that is why I believe so many women have been and are peacemakers. Women like Bertha von Suttner have been leaders of peace movements. She pushed for the creation of the Nobel Peace Prize and is universally recognized as its creator. Eventually winning the Prize herself at the dawn of the twentieth century, she was President of the International Peace Society and wrote the influential disarmament book Lay Down Your Arms. She saw, with increasing horror, the race to acquire more and more weapons of death by patriarchal world powers like Germany, under Kaiser Wilhelm, and England, under King George. Such male dominant cultures competed with each other to colonize vast areas of the world. This empire building and competition led directly to World War One.
Von Suttner, however, envisioned a different way. She was a follower of Charles Darwin who also taught social evolution – that all species move toward a communal and cooperative ethic as the attitude most likely to produce long-term survival. She advocated dialogue, disarmament and reconciliation between nations as pathways to prevent war.
Women have been the leaders of peace movements in their own nations – like Betty Greene of Britain and Mairead Corrigan of Northern Ireland, both of whom reached across the sectarian and religious divide of that conflict to work for reconciliation. Or Ang San Suu Kyi of Myanmar who advocates for an end to dictatorship and military oppression in that nation……..or Jodi Williams of the US who spoke against the manufacture and use of landmines by our own nation or ……….Wangari Maathi of Kenya who works for environmentalism and sustainability as necessary for ending resource competition that threatens world peace. My own grandmother Jean Slagle, a lifelong Republican, was a local peace advocate who was called before Congress in the early 1950’s to testify in favor of ending the Draft. For her and for many other mothers and women all over the world, war is a personal and spiritual affront.
Women have also acted as primary advocates of social justice movements over the last two hundred years. Once again, women reveal qualities in themselves which often do not come naturally to men – like mercy, sharing, compassion and empathy. I do not believe it is mere coincidence that women have frequently been at the vanguard of social movements like slavery abolition, immigrant and worker rights, civil rights and equality for gays and lesbians. Like the desire to preserve and conserve life through peaceful discussion, many women share a concern for the marginalized of society – since historically they too have lived at the margins. Women like Harriet Beecher Stowe comprised the bulk of the abolitionist movement against slavery. Others, like Sojourner Truth and Rosa Parks helped advance the civil rights cause. At the turn of the century, women like Emma Goldman, Dorothy Day and Jane Addams advocated for the rights of workers, immigrants, women and children.
Jane Addams would herself win the Nobel Peace Prize in 1931. As the founder of the world famous Hull House in Chicago, Addams was instrumental in developing juvenile court law, enacting child labor laws, establishing the eight hour work day, insuring work place safety and getting worker’s compensation funds established. Above all, in Hull House she created one of the first social welfare centers in our nation. It still exists today.
Other women like Addams have worked over the past century to end poverty, to promote equality, and to love the least of God’s creation. Women like Mother Theresa, Emily Greene of the US, Rigoberta Menchu of Guatemala and Shirin Ebadi of Iran have all won the Nobel Peace Prize for their social work advancing the rights of the poor, workers, women, children and native groups. It is also notable that it was a woman who created the most well-known, popular and effective social program in our nation’s history. Frances Perkins, the first woman to serve in a President’s cabinet, was the guiding force behind the creation of Social Security. As Secretary of Labor under Franklin Roosevelt, her concern was for the working poor – those who try to realize the American dream through hard work but are often beaten down by low wages, unsafe working conditions and lack of healthcare. Raised a Republican, her outlook was best stated when she said, “Poverty is preventable, destructive, wasteful and demoralizing. In the midst of our national plenty, it is morally unacceptable in a Christian and democratic society.”
I do not believe these women or others like them were radicals who encouraged the end of capitalism. Far from it. They sought to protect capitalism by insuring that its worst manifestations are held in check – thus allowing its best attributes like freedom and innovation to flourish. Most of all, women like those I cite heed the example of Mother Theresa who once said – in one of my oft repeated quotes – when she bathed and fed a dying person in the slums of Calcutta…………….she gazed into the face of God. Forgive me for stereotyping, but again I do not believe it is a coincidence that it took a woman to remind us all to be our better angels.
And that brings me full circle to the point which I hope we might all ponder. It is neither accurate nor helpful to rigidly stereotype men or women into certain behaviors. Indeed, the best qualities of the respective genders are useful in each of us. Society needs the more common male impulses to build, create, and compete. But the male attitude has often become destructively aggressive, greedy and dominating. It has led away from ethics like understanding, cooperation, and reconciliation. The common female impulses to protect and conserve community are needed to balance such negative forces but they too can become sins of indecision and inaction if allowed to dominate.
Moral imagination by men and women takes us ever closer to the ideal of a more just world. In reaching that goal, it is not enough for women to simply be equal with men – such that they too can participate in wars, nationalism and destruction of the environment. Women must continue to speak their unique truth as ones inclined toward peace and compassion. As a man, I cannot identify with what it means to be a woman. But I can listen. I can learn. I can adopt and practice her ways while not denying the best attributes of my masculinity. Indeed, I do not favor a matriarchy – a world dominated by women. Common spirituality points us to one human family – not male, not female, but sharing and practicing the best of both.
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May 8, 2011, "Life Lessons from Women: An End to the Madonna"
Message 56, “Life Lessons from Women: An End to the Madonna”, 5-8-11
© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, UCC, All Rights Reserved
Jackie Kennedy once said, “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.” And I hate to say this, with my own mom present, but she might echo Mrs. Kennedy and then also repeat the words of another famous American mother – Lillian Carter, mother of our former President, who once noted, “Sometimes when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin!”
But seriously, my mother did a great job in raising her three kids. Like many women of the 1950’s and 1960’s, motherhood was for her a defining role – a job to which much of society expected her and many other women to follow. Married just before Christmas 1958, and thereafter honeymooning in Las Vegas, my mom was quickly surprised with an unexpected memento of her wedding trip. What happened in Las Vegas did NOT stay in Las Vegas for her and my dad………. as almost exactly nine months to the day following their honeymoon, I was born.
And a sister and brother followed me a few years later. My mom spent her young adult years as a housewife and mother. She managed a home, was diplomat and advisor for my dad’s growing career as a surgeon and she was a mom to three suburban kids – guiding us through our formative years, getting us each through college in the requisite four years and then watching – and sometimes advising from the sidelines – as we embarked on lives that have not produced any Pulitzer or Nobel prizes but are nevertheless free of any major scandals or post office most wanted posters. We are adults in our own rights with children of our own and jobs that influence, to some degree, the lives of others. The many words of advice over the years, the sacrifices, the heart aches, and the work by my mom – and by moms the world over – are like pebbles dropped one by one into a still lake. They create small ripples that fan out to reach distant shores and distant times.
My mom too often comments that she has not achieved much in life. What has she done, she asks, that saved a life, managed a business or influenced others for the better? While the answer to her question is obvious, she has helped change the world, her words highlight a problem I have with our culture and how it views motherhood, parenting and women in general. Instead of embracing a religious ethic upon which our culture believes it is based – that all people are equal – I believe we demean women by foisting upon them the cruel choice of whether to be a mother and deny herself – or pursue independence and a career and deny being what our culture too often says is an ideal woman – a mom. While men are not defined by whether or not they are a father, women too often are judged by whether or not they have been a mother. Cruelly, in today’s world, women are then judged from the other side of that issue – what has a housewife and mother really done in life?
We idealize women who are like the Madonna figure – the one who is mother of god or Mary, not the one who sings and wears pointy cone bras. In our evolving culture pushing for equality, however, we also expect women to now be like that other famous Mary in the Bible – Mary Magdalene who was a close friend and follower of Jesus. Unattached, unmarried and childless, that Mary was an independent woman living as her own free agent. While later patriarchal church fathers would elevate the Madonna or virgin Mary and denigrate Mary Magdalene as a prostitute – even though there is no evidence to say so – we as a culture the world over are still coming to terms with this issue. It affects both men and women. And our celebrations of Mother’s Day – along with that of Father’s Day – are symptoms, I believe, of our dysfunctional and schizophrenic gender standards.
It is an unwritten rule in Christian churches and among Pastors that of all the Sundays in a year, there are three in particular which demand special attention. A Pastor had better offer a meaningful and heartwarming service on Christmas, Easter and…………..Mother’s day. In many churches, sadly, it is women who are the heavy lifters in terms of volunteer work. And, it is often women who make sure their families attend church. So, according to this unwritten code among Pastors, if you make women happy on Mother’s Day, you have bought a lot of goodwill.
Before last year’s Mother’s Day and for the past few weeks I bought into this rule. I stressed and worried and thought about what I would do to acknowledge and celebrate this day – and that is especially difficult here at the Gathering. I may well not satisfy everyone with my message today. While some see Mother’s Day as a part of their religious and family tradition, others prefer to ignore it due to personal distaste or bad memories of distant mothers. By its very nature, the day celebrates a notion of womanhood that many believe is outdated and irrelevant – the perfect woman who raises perfect children, runs a perfect home, cooks the perfect meal, and is the all-loving mother and spouse. And such an image comes directly from religion and, in Christianity, from the Madonna ideal.
For many women, they must choose to be either a Madonna or a Mary Magdalene – a nurturing and docile female who gives birth and raises a family or an independent, unattached and therefore uncontrollable woman of the world.
And so, to be blunt, I don’t want to worry about Mother’s Day or Father’s Day again here at the Gathering. I don’t believe these days have spiritual relevance in terms of causing us to grow as people. That does not mean I devalue the worth of any parent or that the issue of parenting will never again be discussed here. What I propose is a new and more complex understanding of what it means to be a mother and how we can celebrate women no matter their personal choices in life. Can a woman be nurturing, caring and fulfilled by being a mother? Absolutely. Should a woman be admired and honored who is not a mother? Yes, she should. And we should celebrate these choices if they are truly free-will choices based on a profound cultural shift in our attitudes and expectations towards both men and women.
Just last week I was at the beach in Florida when two men sat near me with an African-American toddler – he was probably only 2 or 3 years of age. What struck me was that the boy was most likely adopted and was now being raised by two men both of whom proceeded to alternately play with and care for him. It was a wonderful scene to watch. Who was the mother and who was the father in this family? While one could say there are two dads – that just defines the gender of the boy’s parents. His maternal needs were met as the two men fed him, wiped sand off his face and worried for him as he got too close to the ocean waves. And his paternal needs were met when he was chased through the surf and lifted up and playfully wrestled into the water. What specific gender roles have anything to do with raising this boy? Is that family celebrating mother’s day today? I doubt it. But perhaps they should. This boy clearly seemed to be as much mothered as he was fathered. Most importantly, he was parented with love by two men who did not care about gender roles and who were more this boy’s parents than his biological ones. Having a gender specific mother or father is likely totally irrelevant to this boy who has found two people who deeply want him as a child.
And that is the kind of revolution I believe we need in our culture. I hope one day that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day will be abandoned – perhaps in favor of a simple Parent’s Day or none at all since we can and should honor parents each and every day of the year.
In a book entitled Maternal Thinking by Sarah Ruddick, the author states that women today still struggle with the idea of being mothers. Our prevailing and still male centric culture says to them that in order to be a proper woman, they must marry, give birth and then serve as a mother. Mothers, she writes, sublimate their thinking. “Maternal thought,” writes Ruddick, “embodies inauthenticity by taking on the values of the dominant culture, abandoning one’s personal values in exchange for those of the families to which they belong and of the men with whom they are allied.”
Feminists and others often encourage women to reject such cultural standards and instead seek the kind of economic and social power normally ascribed to men. Seek an education. Pursue a career. Be strong and independent. Motherhood will diminish such ways of self-actualization. Young women, like my daughters, are encouraged to go to school, learn a skill, establish a career and put off being a mother until such things are accomplished. Indeed, the subtle message is that being a mother is not as important as gaining the other skills. Being a mother is subtly equated – like it was for my own mom – with doing nothing.
In the name of advancing women, which feminism has wonderfully helped achieve, we as a culture have also ironically strengthened the favored economic and social power that results from a career outside the home. This, in turn, has helped to diminish ethics such as nurture, reconciliation, and cooperation – attributes necessary to effective parenting. Aggression, power, competition and wealth are, in turn, elevated. To be a successful woman, many argue, one must achieve in the out of home workplace.
For those women who attempt work outside the home AND be a mother, their career advancement and pay is often held back. Adding further complication, their feelings about being a good mother are warped and filled with guilt because they spend so much time at work. This woman tries to have it all but too often finds, not by any fault of her own, that she achieves nothing – scorned by tradition because she is not a full-time stay at home mom and scorned in a still male focused working world as not equal to those who forego parenting altogether.
For the woman who by circumstance or choice decides not to be a mother, she is barraged by cultural standards that sometimes question and even pity her motives and her life. She is confronted by days like today and, while celebrated as a strong and capable woman who accumulates, on her own, economic and social power, she too finds herself unequal with men and with other women who are mothers.
Finally, men are victims too. As is so often the case for those who perpetuate inequality, men suffer from the results of their own actions. They are trapped in a role as worker and achiever that implicitly forbids them from being a major player in child rearing. Men who devote themselves to full time parenting are considered less than men. They cannot be caring, nurturing, introspective or thoughtful. While science has shown that many gender characteristics are hard wired into us for the sake of our survival as a species, we should not be locked into biological determinism. Men have been, still are and can be excellent full time parents who meet the needs of children.
We need, I believe, to re-imagine the gender structures and roles in our culture so that ALL parents gain more social and economic power. As a culture, we can encourage men to be equally concerned about how they will manage career and parenting. They must be encouraged to take months or even years off to raise children, to work shorter hours because of child rearing demands and to see work and parenting conflicts from the same perspective as women. Employers will need to adjust their thinking to support and encourage flexible working schedules for dads and moms. If both parents share equally in the task and roles of parenting – like the two men I saw where neither one is confined to a role of mother or father – then power will be more equally distributed. I want to encourage my daughters to partner with men who are willing to fully share the parenting role. They will be freed of the cruel role choice women must often make in their lives – Madonna or Magdalene. They can make the decision based on other factors free of guilt or shame. They will gain some of the power women have so long lacked. And their husbands will also make career sacrifices because that is what parents do. They, as men, will be freed by our culture to be intimately involved in child rearing. Being a stay at home parent will lose its stigma as a dead-end or do nothing task. Even more important, our society will learn to value parenting skills in general thus granting more status and power to single parents and same sex couples. What we need are women who are not trapped by the Madonna or Mary Magdalene roles in life. We should celebrate free choices in life for each person and honor those decisions.
Parenting is a blessing with unique and special rewards and challenges. It has immense value. But it is not a role which should define any person or any gender. It is no better and no worse than any other role in life which adds to the fabric of social good. For me, if we at the Gathering are to be the change we want in our world, then we should no longer celebrate, at church, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. They are relics of a past that sadly enslaved us in roles that were pushed upon us. We can do better.
I want to honor on this day free thinkers and free people who work for a better world. Many mothers are and have been active participants in that endeavor. It is said that the role of a full time parent is the equivalent of three full time air traffic controllers. But, as one commentator put it, parental pay is often measured as among the highest in the world – that of the unconditional love many children offer. Even so, one cannot take that pay to the bank.
Parenting skills, therefore, must transcend those who serve in that role. What we need are people in general who embody and practice such skills – like empathy, nurture, listening and gentleness. I have a female friend who is not a mother but she nevertheless uses those qualities of parenting in her work, in her friendships and in life. Ed, my partner, often sadly reflects that he is not a parent. And yet anyone who sees how he effortlessly interacts with youth and knows how he has fought for the rights of kids as a teacher and child advocate attorney, they will see the heart of someone who has truly influenced children for the better. I want to honor anybody who is willing to sacrifice pieces of themselves and pour them into the lives of others. Whether or not we have reproduced, raised a child or not – these are irrelevant questions. Have we embraced the choices we make in life and then given of ourselves to family, friends, colleagues and strangers in order to build them up and help them grow? Have we dropped our own pebbles into a placid lake – knowing the ringlets of ripples we create will reach ever outward – into years well beyond our time – touching other lives with our influence, wisdom and love? To that task, let us set ourselves.
I wish you all a very, very happy………. Sunday.