Author: Doug Slagle

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Hear a partial recording of the message by clicking here (early parts of the message are not included.)

As we just saw in the video, exactly fifty years and one day ago, three men entered orbit around the moon 62 miles above it.  Two of them then entered a fragile landing craft to descend to its surface.  What the video does not show is that the descent to the lunar surface nearly ended in calamity.

When that landing craft was just over a mile above the moon, its guidance computer, one that was hundreds of times less powerful than a modern smartphone, sounded an alarm.  It could no longer handle the mass of data it was being asked to process.  The captain, Neil Armstrong, manually took control of the craft and continued its descent without computer guidance.

As he did so, communication with earth went out.  So too did the landing radar which reported height above the surface.  After a seemingly agonizing time, communication and radar was reestablished – but those instruments continued to lose and regain earth contact. 

There were more tense moments.  At one hundred feet above the moon, the craft was down to less than 60 seconds of fuel.  Some controllers on earth thought the landing should be immediately aborted.  If the fuel level reached zero, there was no reserve.  The craft would violently crash into the surface. 

At that moment shortly before landing, Armstrong realized the craft was heading toward a spot on the slope of a crater covered with truck sized boulders.   He quickly peered through a small triangular window for a flat place to land.  There was little fuel to spare but he calmly revved the engines to pilot the craft toward safety. 

At ten feet above the surface, fuel was precariously low.  And then dust kicked up, the landing probes appeared as shadows on the surface, and the lunar module gently settled to the ground.  Creatures from earth –  human beings – were on the surface of another world for the first time ever.

Modern humans are a relatively young species – about 200,000 years old.  We can only imagine, however, what it would have been like 130,000 years ago when modern humans set foot on the island of Crete – the first island in the middle of an ocean to be visited by people.

Imagine what that journey to Crete must have been like – the first human journey across water hundreds of miles beyond sight of land.  A few daring people, venturing onto a dangerous sea – with no idea where to aim for  – sought other ground.  Using technology available at the time, they likely lashed together logs on which to travel.  They would have needed animal skins to hold water and food – since heat fired clay pots had yet to be invented.  Stone tools to cut and kill would have been required.  Amazingly, those ancient people journeyed onto seemingly limitless water – much like interstellar space – not knowing where or if other land existed and, if it did, whether they could survive there.   But they went anyway.

Anthropologists say that human history is actually one of non-stop  exploration.  From the very first person who came across a cave and bravely went into it, to those who today plan for a 9 month one-way journey to Mars, the impulse to explore and discover is a human one.  

Some experts say it is our minds that motivate us to explore.  We do not like the unknown – and so we seek answers.  Importantly, however, we  don’t rely on made up answers to define the unknown.  Humanity has invented myths to imagine how certain things happened, but those were usually not intended to be factual answers, but instead imaginations of what might have happened.   Our species wants verifiable evidence of truth – something confirmed by sight, touch and experience.  We don’t want to rely on imagination or faith for what is true.  We want to personally experience it.  To do that, humans therefore explore.

The ancient Greek philosopher Cicero said that human curiosity comes from an innate passion to learn.  Our brains are hardwired to want knowledge.  We use facts to better understand the universe around us.  

While all creatures instinctively eat, reproduce and fight to live, only humans seek knowledge that has little to do with basic survival.  Indeed, curiosity often puts humans in danger of survival – much as it did for early humans who ventured onto the high seas, or for the astronauts who journeyed two hundred and forty thousand miles from earth.

For me, the yearning to explore and thus understand is a spiritual one.  When we sit on the shore of an ocean and look out across its expanse, we want to know what’s just over the horizon.   The same is true when we stare at the night sky and ponder the nature of other suns and planets.  Those yearnings to know what’s out there are not just our intellectual minds at work, but also our realization of things far greater than us.   We see the vastness of oceans, or the infinite depths of space, and we’re often awestruck.  We want to better understand such beautiful  complexity.

If we think about it, musing about life after death, and the existence of gods and goddesses are also forms of exploration.  Spirituality is contemplation of things beyond factual knowledge.  We seek what we don’t know, and so we philosophically explore religious ideas, ancient myths, and spiritual wisdom. 

An article in the Harvard Business Review says that even though modern humans now explore many things unknown to us, our impulse to explore is the same as it was for the very earliest humans.

Stone age people, in other words, had the same discovery psychology we have today.  What that means is that humans evolved as explorers.  The impulse to discover is imprinted on our genes.

This instinctual desire, the Harvard Business Review says, is not something we can switch off.  Critics have often said that humanity should focus on the well-being of its members, instead of on risky and expensive exploration.  The Apollo program cost over 130 billion in today’s dollars.  We can only imagine the schools, meals, and houses for the needy such money could have provided.

Besides being wasteful of precious resources, critics also say exploration has historically been very risky.  Countless ships lost at sea, land explorers who starved to death, and astronauts killed in fiery rocket explosions are all evidence that exploration is dangerous and seems to make little sense.  Why venture to unknown places when the risk of death is so high?  If we consider exploration from a purely survival psychology, people throughout history should have mostly stayed put. 

Had that impulse to play it safe predominated, however, humanity might still be huddled on the African continent and completely unaware of lands, creatures, and things removed from it.  Humanity might have been safe, but it would be a very primitive safety.

Exploration, therefore, has historically returned rewards far greater than its cost.  New materials, new knowledge, and new land areas were obtained that enabled humanity to improve itself – developing medicines and scientific knowledge that benefited life for all.

Beyond practical rewards, however, exploration offers something more profound.  We explore and seek to understand to satisfy our curiosity and thus enlarge our souls.  We explore to figuratively come face to face with what I believe is god – that being capital ’T’ Truth.   For me, knowing what is verifiably true is far more useful than reading and memorizing ancient myths that creatively imagine reality.  We seek Truth that because that is the highest and most spiritual reality in the universe.

        The first ancient human to set foot on land across an ocean, the first person to understand and explain how life is conceived, or Neil Armstrong who placed the first footprint on another celestial body, these explorers opened up amazing realms of new awareness.  If that is not getting a glimpse of what might be called the god of the universe, then I don’t know what is.

Walter Cronkite, during his live TV broadcast of the lunar landing, broke down in tears when Neil Armstrong said his famous words, “Houston, Tranquility Base here.  The Eagle has landed.”  Cronkite felt what millions of people around the world felt.  We, you, me, all humanity – felt awestruck and in the presence of something much bigger than us.

The lunar landing has been called the greatest achievement of the 20th century.  I suggest it is one of the greatest achievements of all time.  While some Americans boast that it proved America’s superiority, that is nationalistic arrogance.  As with all science, the culmination of putting a human on another celestial body rests on the shoulders of countless explorers throughout history.  It exemplified the power of both the human mind and spirit. 

For us as Unitarians, it was an expression of several of our principles.  Humanity freely and responsibly sought truth and meaning, our 4th principle.  By seeking new truth, humanity also showed its respect for the interdependence of all existence – the 7th UU principle.  People are not a species unto themselves, nor is the earth the center of the universe.  When we venture outward into the cosmos, we confront the humble reality that our planet is a speck of dust in the totality of space and we humans are even smaller.

Most significantly, the mission to the moon was an encouragement to spiritual growth, the 3rd UU principle.  For us as Unitarians, in ways that are both good and bad, we value a search for knowledge that has a spiritual dimension to it.  We commit to the third principle with high-minded purpose and goodness – something exemplified by the plaque, signed by Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, that now rests on the moon.  “Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the Moon, July 1969 A.D.  We came in peace for all mankind.”

That last sentence implies the theme I offer today.  Humanity may have sometimes explored distant lands to gain power and money.  Or, they’ve done so to boast of military, economic and intellectual superiority.  As with all good things, people are prone to cheapen their highest ambitions.

To the contrary, however, John F. Kennedy said that we seek to go to the moon not because it is easy, but because it is hard.  The lure of finding new discoveries is a challenge similar to why we read, learn, and come to places likes this church.  We want to expand ourselves.  We have questions.  We seek answers.  And so we go.  Along the way, we see all the better who we are – creatures who want to know truths about life, death, and all existence.  

Fifty years ago, over half the world’s population – three billion people – gathered around TV’s to watch blurry images of Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin stepping foot on the moon.  That was an amazing moment of human togetherness.  Far more significant, it was a moment when the human species figuratively bowed at the altar of Truth in amazement and reverence.  As we remember and honor the Apollo 11 exploration of the moon, may we commit to explorations of our own – ones delving into our souls, into nature, and outward to new frontiers.

I wish you much peace and joy. 

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

On the second Sunday of every month, we hold a Coffeehouse family service for everyone to enjoy but these services are especially targeted to young families and youth. The video at the below URL relates to the message topic of “Young Voices.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZZZQ1sZqH0

Please click here to listen to Rev. Doug’s message, Please see below to read it.

My messages this month relate to important events in a history of July’s – and what they can still mean to us.   Today, I call us to reflect on the brief but significant life of thirteen year old Anne Frank.  She epitomizes the title of my message this morning “Young Voices” because of the immense impact she’s had with her diary.  Anne and her family went into hiding from the Nazi’s on July 5, 1942.

Anne’s father Otto had moved his family ten years earlier from Germany to Amsterdam – to escape the newly elected Nazi government.  The escape was successful only until 1940 when the Germans invaded and occupied Denmark.  Life for Danish Jews became increasingly frightening.  When Anne Frank’s sister Margot was ordered to report to a work camp for Jewish teens, Otto made plans to hide his family in a secret annex on the third floor of his business.

For the next two years the Franks lived in almost perpetual quiet.  It was a silence shaped by their fear of being heard and discovered.  To pass the time, the Franks and several friends who had joined them read constantly.  Young Anne read too – but she also wrote extensively in her diary.

The Franks lived in their hiding place until it was betrayed by some unknown person and they were arrested.  All of the Franks were immediately sent to Auschwitz where they were forcibly separated.  Otto was put to work at Auschwitz.  Mrs. Frank is presumed to have died in the camp gas chambers.  Anne and her sister Margot were sent to the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp where they lived until March 1945 when they both died from a typhus epidemic.  Only four weeks later, the camp was liberated by British soldiers.

Otto was the only member of his family to survive the war.  When he returned to Amsterdam and searched the hiding annex, he discovered Anne’s diary which filled several notebooks.  In 1947, the diary was published and it was an instant best seller.  

Today, The Diary of Anne Frank is required reading in thousands of high schools.  It is one of the most widely read books around the world not just for its details about the Holocaust, but also for the insights young Anne had on life, people, relationships, and being happy in the midst of suffering.

What is especially remarkable is Anne’s youth at the time she wrote her diary.  She was 13, 14 and 15 years old.  One of her first diary entries said this,  “Writing in a diary is a really strange experience for someone like me.  Not only because I’ve never written anything before, but also because it seems to me that later on neither I nor anyone else will be interested in the musings of a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl.”

Anne often questioned the value of what she wrote.  Early on, she thought of herself as too young and immature to be able to write anything meaningful.  As time went on, however, she gained increasing confidence not only in what she wrote, but also with the opinions she shared with others in the small group of folks hiding with her.  

Her family and the others often did not take Anne seriously and yet she persisted.  She realized she had opinions that were important and wise.  She not only discovered an inner reservoir of self-confidence, she found her so-called “voice”.  

As a teenager enduring hardships most of us will never experience, Anne arrived at, and then beautifully communicated, insights that influenced both her family and the larger world.

How she communicated her perceptive views have made her the greatest diarist of all time.  Her young voice – and her willingness to share it – gave her greatness.   But that is something possible for any of us – and especially teenagers and young adults.  Far too many people, myself included, often believe we have nothing worthwhile to say, stand for, or strive to achieve.  Anne struggled against thinking that way when she wrote, “Who would ever think that so much went on in the soul of a young girl?”  But a lot did go on in her soul – and a lot goes on in each of our souls too – no matter how young, or old, we are.  By thinking we have nothing to say of value, we silence our unique voices.  We don’t share ourselves – and our ideals – so that we, too, achieve a figurative life after death that impacts others for good.  And while I say this to everyone here, I especially mean it for those who are chronologically young – those between 13 and 40:  find your “voice” and then share it.  We each have a gift of ourselves to offer the world.

Only a year before she died, Anne wrote in her diary,  “I don’t want to live in vain like most people.  I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living even after my death!”

Anne, however, had already written down pieces of wisdom in her diary that give her the lasting life she desired.

Among her profound thoughts, she wrote, “We have many reasons to hope for great happiness, but . . . we have to earn it.  And that’s something you can’t achieve by taking the easy way out.  Earning happiness means doing good and working, not speculating and being lazy.”

And here’s another, “Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.  I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.”

And another, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

And another, “No one has ever become poor by giving.”

And another,“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.”  That is an eloquent analogy for how any one person can be a light of goodness in a world of hate.

And finally her most famous and frequently quoted statement, “It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical.  Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.”

Anne Frank’s voice is one of charming idealism but also one with deep perceptions on how best to live a joyful and useful life even in the midst of pain and challenge.  

I admire her wisdom at such a young age – and especially her ability to articulate her ideas in writing.  I didn’t truly find my voice until I was fifty when I became the minister at the Gathering.  Because that congregation was willing to see if I could be a half-way decent speaker, and I mustered the courage to take on the role of a regular Sunday speaker, I finally found my voice.  It’s not perfect, or great in any way, but it’s mine, and I use it to promote values important to me – ones like empathy, humility, serving others, and kindness.

I lament that it took so long for me to discover my voice.  I don’t recommend that for any young person.  From my own hard won experience, I encourage youth to be bold like Anne Frank – and many other people who found their voices in their youth – ones like Emma Gonzalez who was a student at the Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School during the mass shooting there.  She’s now a famous gun control advocate who has testified to Congress, given speeches to large rallies, and influenced gun laws.  

There is also the Pakistani teenager Malala Yousafzai who survived a terrorist attempt to kill her because she encouraged girls to get an education.  She’s now given speeches around the world, raised millions of dollars for her cause, and is the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.   Or, there is Lillian Lennon, a 19 year old transgender activist who, with her bright pink hair, was primarily responsible for the defeat of Proposition 1 – a so-called bathroom law in Alaska that would have required persons to only use a restroom designated for the gender of their birth.

To find your voice, like these amazing youth, I suggest four steps:  

First, be authentic.  Be real.  Be you.  We all try to please the largest number of people possible, but the most important person to please is ourselves – and we can only do that if we live true to who we really are.  Be proud of what makes you special.  Be proud of your thoughts and opinions.

Second, I suggest that before one learns to speak their voice, one must learn to listen.  Be willing to hear what others have to say.  Absorb their advice and learn from them.  Be open minded and extend to others the same respect and listening that you seek for yourself.

Third, figure out what makes you compassionately angry.  What are the things you see in this world that upset you because others suffer from them?  What makes you feel especially compassionate because someone endures an injustice?

Fourth and finally, after you’ve determined things that make you compassionately angry, what are the changes you’d like to see that will fix them?

Once you’ve taken these steps, you’ll likely feel empowered to be part of the solution – to influence your family, your friends, the groups you belong to, and your wider community.  Speak, write, advocate, and above all serve.  Not all of us are activist types but even with a quiet voice, a diary, letter to the editor, or an example of helping, we can speak our unique voices loud and clear.

As a young teen, forced to hide in a small, dark space 77 years ago this July, Anne Frank found her voice and through her diary spoke to hundreds of millions of people of hope, laughter, joy, and human decency.   All young people, like Anne, have tremendous wisdom to share.  I encourage everyone to find our voices and then use them.

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Click here to listen, see below to read:

July is a fascinating month.  Whether by coincidence or because of the summer season, this month has witnessed some of the most significant events in human rights history.  America celebrates its founding on principles of human rights in July.  France remembers its embrace of the same ideals this month.  The women’s rights movement began in July, and President Johnson signed into law, in July, a sweeping enactment of Civil Rights that helped end the worst of Jim Crow racial discrimination.

Whatever reasons that make July such a monumental month in the  advancement of human rights, I believe Americans in particular should pause to reflect on these events and what they mean to us today.  

In the midst of summer vacations, fireworks, and picnics, time spent thinking about our rights and how they were derived can give summertime increased significance.  In other words, July means more than playtime.  In American history especially, July is when we’ve grown as a people.   July marks events when America became even truer to the spiritual ideals of freedom, dignity and equal opportunity.

In that sense, July is rightfully a human rights month not just for America – but for all people.  As imperfect as this nation has been and still is, America has often set the benchmark for human rights.  It has done so not from a political standpoint, but from what I claim is a spiritual one.  America has implicitly declared human rights as something that all must enjoy based on the sacredness of every person.

And yet, as we know, America has yet to fully implement that ideal.  Two-hundred and forty-three years after this nation was founded, we cannot say discrimination of any kind no longer exists in America.  But just because America does not perfectly practice all that it says it believes, that does not mean its human rights ideals are any less important.  Americans may be hypocrites about some of our values, but most of us we know we are, and so we continue the struggle to be better.  In my mind, our flaws and our ongoing effort to fix them is what makes us great.

The Declaration of Independence famously says, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Who, one might ask, comprises “all men”?  It’s quite likely many founders believed the phrase to literally mean males, and only white men at that.  But the phrase was purposefully NOT limited by its writer Thomas Jefferson to say only males are equal.  “All men” has thus been able to evolve to indicate “all humanity.”

And that phrase has a profoundly spiritual meaning.  Without naming who or what our Creator is, Thomas Jefferson and the founders clearly intended to say that our rights come from the gift of humanness offered by some force bigger than us.   We have intrinsic worth because we are human.

If we think about it, that’s a belief found in the Bible and in numerous other religious Scriptures as well.  It’s also the ideal stated in the first Unitarian Universalist principle.  People have dignity and worth because as humans we are able to reason, feel, and innovate in ways far beyond other species.  For whatever reasons, we are special, we have unique responsibilities to care for our planet, and we thus have value.

As Thomas Paine wrote in his famous revolutionary pamphlet Common Sense, America opposed the British King not for political reasons, but for spiritual ones.  Paine said that King George’s insistence on his divine right – that he was appointed by God to rule over others – that this was an affront to human reason, common sense, and the created order of things.  Everybody, Paine implied, is equal before God, or whatever it is that created us.

James Madison, another founder, said the assertions of human rights in the Declaration of Independence were NOT new discoveries.  Instead, they were merely declarations of already existing natural rights.  We were born into the one human family and by that biological specialness, we each have rights nobody can take away.

As I earlier said, many historians have noted the seeming hypocrisy of the founders.  Many of them never contemplated the full meaning of the Declaration’s statement of unalienable rights for all men.  But many founders perceived their hypocrisy such that American imperfections were known even then.  Abigail Adams, the famed wife of founder John Adams, wrote to her husband when he served in the Continental Congress, “Remember the Ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them.” 

Thomas Jefferson, who wrote most of the Declaration and was a slave owner, pointedly included in his original draft an accusation that the King “waged cruel war against human nature itself, violating its most sacred rights of life and liberty in the persons of a distant people who never offended him, captivating & carrying them into slavery in another hemisphere…”  As a slave owner, he has rightly been accused of  hypocrisy for writing “all men are created equal”, but the truth is that, like America itself, he was complicated and flawed but nevertheless one who consistently fought for human rights.  

His passage stating that sacred rights of life and liberty applied to slaves was angrily opposed by delegates from Georgia and South Carolina.  Their opposition threatened the colonial unity that had been carefully nurtured.  And so his first draft statement in favor of human rights for slaves was deleted from the final Declaration of Independence as a compromise to preserve the rebellion against Britain.

Most historians note the flaws in the Declaration of Independence but they also claim they do not diminish the moral significance of the document.  Philosophers going back to ancient Greece have asserted similar human rights, but never before had a large set of people, and their government, claimed equal rights for all humanity.  Governments do not give people those rights the Declaration said.  Whatever created humanity did that.  

While we usually celebrate July 4th as the anniversary of our nation’s founding, what the founders did was vastly more significant.  They declared a human rights revolution that still resounds today.

Less than fifteen years after the Declaration of Independence, the French Revolution shook the foundations of Kingdoms and aristocratic systems everywhere.  It owed its impulses to America and its human rights revolution.  

On July 14, 1879, a huge crowd stormed the infamous Bastille fortress in Paris.  It was the headquarters of the French army which protected the King and the French economic system of feudal inequality.

The Bastille was taken over by the protestors leading to the overthrow of King Louis the 15th.  Barely a month later, a legislative assembly of French common people published the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen.  Its writers intentionally capitalized the word ‘Man’ to signify all humanity.  Thomas Jefferson was a consultant in its writing.

The document declared that all people are born free and equal in the rights they possess.  People have the right to vote for their leaders, the right of free speech, religion, and press.  Leaders are to be chosen according to their merit – and not their wealth or social status. 

Once again, a July date led to a major assertion of human rights – ones that are granted not by a King, but by the simple virtue of being born.  The French Revolution specifically stated humans have natural rights which many people equate to belief in a little ‘g’ god of nature.  The Declaration of Rights of Man was thus a spiritual statement much like the Declaration of Independence.

Sixty years later in 1848, once again in July and taking place on the 18th and 19th of the month, multiple American women assembled in Seneca Falls, New York to discuss the rights and social conditions of women.  Led by Quakers, who had long supported the equality of genders, the Seneca Falls convention was the first of its kind in history. 

Common law at the time did not allow women to inherit property, sign contracts, serve on juries, or vote.  Few jobs were available to women and those that were available paid them less than half that of men.   Fathers and husbands controlled the destiny of women – deciding if they could be educated, when and to whom they could marry, and whether or not they could divorce an abusive husband.

The Seneca Falls convention adopted a Declaration of Sentiments, purposefully written to be similar to the Declaration of Independence.  It was another spiritual statement of human rights.  It emphatically stated that God created men and women as fully equal – but that men had selfishly contradicted God’s intentions by denying women their rights.

While women are still fighting for full equality with men, Seneca Falls is a landmark event in history.  Like all other human rights efforts, it appealed to spiritual ethics of equal treatment, justice, and opportunity for all.

A final significant July date in human rights history took place on July 2nd, 1964 when President Lyndon Johnson signed into law the Civil Rights Act which rendered illegal almost all forms of Jim Crow segregation.  Initiated by President Kennedy before his death, the Civil Rights Act made it illegal to use race as a reason to discriminate in employment, housing and education.  Of greatest significance, it made it illegal for any business to discriminate on the basis of race, national origin, or religion.

  Passage of the Civil Rights Act required the Senate to break the longest filibuster in US history – one conducted by 11 southern Senators who took turns speaking non-stop for over 75 days .  Hubert Humphrey, the liberal lion from Minnesota, proposed a compromise on a few provisions of the Act in order to win the votes of three filibustering Senators.  The Act then passed Congress and was signed into law on July 2nd – a date significant for its nearness to the anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.  (Pause)

I imagine most of us recently saw the picture of a young El Salvadoran father, and his 23 month old daughter, drowned and lying on the banks of the Rio Grande river.  Oscar Martinez fled El Salvador with his wife and daughter 4 months ago.  They left in order to come to America and realize what the Declaration of Independence promises – the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  

After waiting for three months in the Mexican border town of Matamoros for an appointment to seek asylum in the US, Oscar and his family were finally given a date and time.  They arrived at the US border station as scheduled only to find it closed.  They were told to make another appointment.  In desperation, after living in hellish homeless conditions with temperatures regularly over 110 degrees, Oscar decided to swim his family into the US.

He and daughter safely made it across the river to Texas.  He then  patiently instructed his small daughter to sit on the shore and wait there while he returned to Mexico to help his wife swim across.  Soon after he began swimming back to other side, his daughter panicked and jumped into the river after him.  She was carried away in a strong current and Oscar swam after her.  With his wife watching in horror from the  Mexican shore, he reached his daughter but then he too was caught in the swift current.  With the toddler panicking, Oscar flailed to stay afloat.  While still clutching his daughter, he soon went under the muddy waves.  Their bodies washed ashore the next day.

This horrific tragedy prompts many of us to consider just what America is doing at its southern border.  For me, the US must insure it acts in loving concern for those who simply want to enjoy the rights we too often take for granted.

This tragedy also causes me to ponder the amazing human rights I enjoy – and yet how fragile they are.  Tyranny, I realize, can snatch my rights away at any moment.  Tyranny can also look indifferently at those who risk their lives to gain the rights I have.  Tyranny cruelly denies different people the basic human worth every person is owed.

And so this July should remind us what America represents to millions of people around the world.  America is not great because of its wealth, or its powerful military.  America is great precisely because it has fought a long history of Julys to insist that everybody has the right to be  treated equal, and to live with the freedom to pursue their basic well-being.

Oscar Martinez was not a criminal.  He was not illegal in any way.  He was a human being, a loving and tragically desperate dad, who yearned to be free so he could assure he, his wife, and his daughter could live in simple dignity.

And yet I so often take for granted the rights Oscar Martinez died trying to gain.  May we remember all those like Oscar, and may we also remember, honor, understand, and never take for granted the human rights we each have – all of them due to a history of July efforts to win for every person equality, freedom, and opportunity.  

Wherever and whatever god is, she weeps for Oscar Martinez and his small daughter.   More ominously, she also weeps for an America that has forgotten the many July struggles for human rights – all while this  nation steadily diminishes its ethical and spiritual values.  We must work very hard to stop that.

Peace to each of you.

(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

The name “Lucifer,” which most people associate with the devil, comes from the Hebrew word “helel” which translated means “brightness”.  That translation is appropriate for how the myth in the Old Testament says evil, and the devil, came to exist.

Jewish Scripture, what we know as the Old Testament, says that God created multiple angels to be with her and to help with her work.  All of this happened, according to the myth, before God created the physical universe.  Of all the angels God created, she made only one to exemplify beauty and intelligence.  This angel would be as close to God’s perfection as possible.  God named this angel Lucifer or, as I said earlier, “brightness.”

And according to the myth, Lucifer was and is beautiful, brilliant and shining.  Contrary to how he is often depicted – like the scary image on your programs – the Old Testament myth says the devil is not sinister appearing.  He’s very appealing and covered with sparkling rubies, diamonds and sapphires.

That’s also consistent with the Hebrew translation of the word “serpent” found in the myth of Adam and Eve – the one who tempted them.  The actual ancient Hebrew word that early English translators rendered as “serpent” actually means “shining one.”  In other words, the first authors of the creation myth, and devil mythology, described the devil as a beautiful and attractive creature.

The Old Testament says, however, the devil became so enamored, narcissistic and arrogant about his beauty and intelligence, that he began to not only think of himself as equal to God, but even superior to her.  And once Lucifer began thinking of himself in that way, God forever banished the devil from her presence in heaven.  Implied in the myth, at the moment God turned her back on Lucifer, the timeless battle of good versus evil began.  

That is why the beautiful devil seduced Adam and Eve.  Lucifer was jealous of God’s created beings so he sought to destroy them by infecting humanity with evil.  Lucifer used his cunning and his attractiveness to persuade Adam and Eve to disobey God and eat forbidden fruit from the tree of ultimate knowledge.  He appealed to their egos by asking why shouldn’t they know what God know’s.  Evil, the myth says, infected people not just because of their disobedience – but because of their egos.  Adam and Eve, man and woman, believed they too could be equal to God.

The takeaway from the overall myths about the devil and Adam and Eve, is something that we can apply in our lives.  The root cause of all evil, the motivation for anything bad and hateful that humans do, is arrogance.  It was Lucifer’s sinful pride that caused his fall away from goodness, and it was the same sinful pride that led man and woman to also fall from grace and learn the ways of selfishness and hate.  

Such pride is the negativity I believe every human must battle within themselves – the inclination to put oneself first above all others.  My needs, my opinions, my thoughts, my beauty, my desires are all superior to yours.  Everything I think and do, this voice inside my head seductively whispers, must revolve around me, me, me!  And so I lie, cheat, hate, judge and attack you all in order to put me above you.   Sinful pride motivates everything bad that humans do and say.

         A funny story describes a man who was given a new title as Vice President by his small company.  This man then boasted and bragged about it non-stop for many weeks – to anyone he encountered.  Finally, his wife could not stand his arrogance any longer.  “You do know,” she said to her husband, “companies call lots of employees Vice-Presidents.  Even the local grocery store has a Vice-President of peas.”  The man was of course deflated with this news but after he thought about it, he was sure his wife exaggerated.  So he called the local grocery and asked the clerk who answered the phone, “I’d like to speak to the Vice-President of peas, please.”  To which the clerk immediately asked, “Fresh or frozen?”

One of the great things about Unitarian Universalism is its openness to wisdom found in ALL world religions.  And regarding pride being the source of every human failing, I believe the Biblical myths I earlier related  are on to something.  With our willingness to learn from all religions, we should therefore heed the lessons from Jewish and Christian devil myths – without needing to believe the actual stories.

Every misdeed that humans commit come from them thinking they are more important and more deserving than anyone else.  Greed, envy, anger, violence, and hate are always due to someone thinking their feelings or their needs are the best and must take precedence over another’s.  Actions or words that hurt are always caused by a focus on the self.  And such a focus comes from sinful pride.

Indeed, just as all religions define real goodness by the Golden Rule – to treat others equal to or better than how one wishes to be treated, evil can be defined as doing the opposite of the Golden Rule – to treat others worse than how one wishes to be treated.

And so my message series this month of June, in which we rightfully celebrate the ideal of Pride, must include a proper understanding of what is good pride and what is sinful pride.  That’s the purpose of my message this morning.

I believe good pride is an honest awareness of oneself – one’s core truth which includes his or her strengths and weaknesses.  This kind of pride does not think of oneself as greater than others, but instead as skilled in some areas, weak in others.  Good pride believes everybody is worthy of the same dignity, justice, and basic needs of life.  Good pride does not put the self above others, it simply puts the self equal to all others.

LGBTQ or rainbow Pride, that I discussed last Sunday, is therefore not a way to proclaim gays, lesbians and the transgendered are superior.  Rather, June Pride asserts that LGBTQ persons are as worthy and good as anyone else.  

Homophobia, sexism, white supremacy, religious intolerance, and any other form of discrimination are examples, on the other hand, of sinful pride.  A group of people presume to believe they are superior, more enlightened, or more virtuous than the targets of their hate.

The antidote to sinful pride is obviously to replace it with good pride.  And that involves adopting and learning attitudes of humility.  Indeed, I believe good pride and honest humility are one and the same. 

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, a Shambhala Buddhist monk, once said that true humility is simply “genuineness.”  And that echoes what I said last week about rainbow pride – or what I today specifically define as good pride.  Good pride means being authentic to who you really are – not perfect or superior, but simply a flawed but still very worthy human like everyone else.

Thich Nhat Hanh, the famous Buddhist teacher, said that sinful pride is, “An obstacle to developing our understanding, compassion, and boundless love.  When we are humble we have nothing to fear, nothing to lose.”

He echoes exactly what Jesus taught and practiced.  To be a humble servant is one of the greatest things to be, he said.  It’s why, at his final meal on the night before he was executed, stories say Jesus washed the feet of his followers – who were embarrassed he would do such a lowly thing.  Feet, in those times, were considered the nastiest part of a person since people walked barefoot, or in mere sandals, through dirt streets often filled with sewage and trash.  Washing his follower’s feet, one of the grossest and demeaning things a person could do for another, was a way for Jesus to teach and model humility and do just what Thich Nhat Hanh said – to love, serve and be compassionate.

Just as Christianity and Judaism teach, Buddhism and Hinduism teach the same.  The ultimate goal in life, for both Buddhists and Hindus, is to diminish the self.  Humility is thus a foundational virtue for those forms of spirituality.   Arrogance and sinful pride are human failures that prevent harmony in our minds and peace in our hearts, they believe.  When we pridefully seek and desire things for ourselves, we will never be happy.  Contentment comes not from getting what we want – because if we get what we desire, we will always want more.  Contentment comes from letting go of wanting – to instead be at peace with what one already has.  

For Hindus and Buddhists, sinful pride is connected to the ego – something every person has.  Buddhists define the human ego as something that, “At all costs pursues what is pleasant, and at all costs avoids what is unpleasant.”

Humility, or healthy pride, however is to work toward reducing our egos and not feeling the demands they make.  Whether it be boredom, feeling inadequate, dealing with a hardship, or being attacked by others, healthy pride means we stop feeling hurt, or in need.  Indeed, we all know a fact of life is that bad things happen.  Sinful pride, however, tells me that even though everyone else suffers, I should not.  I, my ego seductively tells me, deserve only luxury, adoration, and perfect health!

As I said last week, LGBTQ pride is a way to be proud of who one is no matter the attacks that come from others.  This is what Martin Luther King, Jr. taught with his appeals for non-violence and his practice of it during the Selma, Alabama marches.  White supremacists said and did horrible things against King and the black marchers, but they had the kind of good pride in themselves that knew they were worthy and fully equal with anyone.  That enabled them to confront hate with non-violence.  King and his followers let go of their egos precisely as a way to elevate themselves in a humble and profound way.

And we must do the same when we suffer, feel attacked, or are diminished.  If we know who we are, if we know we are good, worthy, and beautiful – all moderated with a dose of healthy humility, nothing can truly harm us.  

In many ways, that is why many people of color have turned to Jesus and Christianity as their spiritual path.  They see in Jesus a poor man of color who willingly allowed himself to be mocked and executed in the most painful and humiliating way possible – all to show that serving, sacrificing, loving, and caring are far more powerful than arrogance and hate.  

Dr. King and his many black admirers saw themselves in a similar way.  While white supremacists thought they had won, goodness nevertheless prevailed.  The KKK and other haters will be relegated to the margins of history.  Jesus, Dr. King, Mahatma Gandhi, and the gay prophet Harvey Milk – all people who taught good pride and humble non-violence – they will be championed and remembered forever.

The path to peace in our hearts, the path to love and empathy, is one paved with good pride and  healthy humility.  Instead of being inwardly insecure but outwardly arrogant about our looks, intelligence, or things we do or do not have, let us instead be humbly proud – and at peace – with who we are – good people who are nevertheless no better and no worse than anyone else.  Let us be genuine, self-aware and “ego-less.”  Let us be proud in such a way that we want for others what we want for ourselves – to be loved, to enjoy equal justice, to have the essential needs of life met, and to live with peace and joy.  

I wish that kind of good pride for all of you, as I pray to learn it myself.

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Please click here to listen to the message (beginning portion not included). See below to read the entire message text.

Who are you?  In the deep, dark night when you lie awake while all the world sleeps, what truths about yourself do you sometimes ponder?  What innermost thoughts, dreams, loves, fears, hatreds and inspirations define the essential ‘you’?  And when the light of day arrives, and you move out into a world of relationships and human interaction, are you the same person who you pondered in the darkness?  Are your actions and your speech consistent with who you are and who you were made to be?

During this June Pride month, I hope all of us might celebrate its core meaning – one of acceptance, and also joy for being authentic.  Pride month is celebrated around the world as a way to proclaim that no longer should ANY person, gay or straight, need to feel the stigma for simply living true to themselves.  Indeed, the message I hear from Lady Gaga’s song “Born This Way” is one for everybody.  To the gay guy or girl afraid that friends or family will learn their truth, to the confused soul who struggles to make sense of life, to the one despairing of pain, depression or loneliness who puts on a brave face to the outside world, to the one who hates life and soothes it with drugs or alcohol, this June month of Pride speaks of a need for authenticity.  And freedom.  Pride tells us we should all stand in the light of day and joyfully be who we authentically are – wounded, straight, joyful, young, lusty, black, depressed, atheist, gay, old, white, fearful….whatever.

If we follow the one basic rule of life – to regularly practice the Golden Rule to love others as much as we love ourselves – then there is nothing  under the sun about ourselves for which we should be ashamed.  As long as we do no harm to others – we are good, cherished and beautiful. In each of our distinct individuality lies sparkling beauty – that must not be hidden.  Baby, you were born this way…

Theodore Geisel – or Dr. Seuss to most people – once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”  Added to that wisdom is William Shakespeare’s admonition in his play “Hamlet”, “This above all: to thine own self be true.”  

What both these quotes tell us is that to find genuine happiness, we   must proudly live our truth to ourselves and to others.  In doing so, we will be liberated from prisons of shame, fear or guilt.  No longer will the opinions of others matter precisely because we have pride in who we are – and those that love us share that pride.

Authenticity means that we outwardly live according to our inner truth.  It involves refusing to conform to cultural, familial, or religious standards that seek to define us and lock us into a prison of lies.  To live any way other than who we really are creates dissonance and confusion in our minds and in our relationships.  Race relations in our nation have long been inauthentic precisely because persons are judged by outward appearance.  Sexism, religious intolerance, and classism all take the same approach.  Judgmental people try to define others a cording to outward appearances and actions that don’t come close to understanding the real truth.  Instead of reaching for the spiritual ideal of the Golden Rule, hateful people marginalize and demean others with their stereotypical judgements – all in order to elevate themselves.  

Black pride, feminism, and gay pride are thus manifestations of a desire to be authentic and stand against prejudices.  Henry David Thoreau remarked long ago that we are all constantly invited to be who we are.  Sadly, Thoreau was right only for a few people – mostly white, straight men.  Many other people – and I was once one of them – are not invited to be who they are.  They’re instead told to be who they are not – in my case to act straight.  For women and people of color, they’ve been told to be less than their ability and character.  In that regard, this month of June Pride is a way to shout an emphatic “NO!” to the haters.  Pride month tells us it’s ok to be different and, indeed, it celebrates our rainbow differences.  No prejudice.  No intolerance.  No judging.  Just love, acceptance, and joyful celebration of me as gay, you as female, he as black, them as other abled.  Pride says it is the content of our character, and not the color of our skin, our gender, or whom we love that determines the measure of of a person.  Who we are at the core of our souls is all that we truly possess in life and all that will ultimately define us far into eternity.  Do you walk humbly with love and compassion in your heart for all others – or does life revolve only around you such that anger, vindictiveness and deceit define you?

As I have described here on several occasions, I led a life for far too long that masked my true self as a gay man.  During those years I hurt others as much as I hurt myself.  In my fears, my self-hatred, my inner denials, and my acceptance of what religion and society told me I should be, I was alienated from reality.  I was alienated from me.

And when I finally chose to be authentic, to live in accord not with what the outside world told me I should be, but with who I was born to be, I embarked on a journey of peace and, yes, real joy.  I recall my shaking fear when I came out to my fifteen year old daughter Amy.  In one fell swoop, I knew the constructs of her life and our relationship might be broken.  And yet, as one who I love so very much and for whom I would willingly give my life, I knew I finally had to be honest.  And in that moment when I first told her I’m gay, Dr. Seuss’ quote became very real.  Someone who matters most in my life did not mind my truth.  As I sat facing her, unsure of her reaction to my words, she simply put her arms around me and so full of youthful grace, said to me, “Daddy.  It’s OK.  I love you no matter what.”  In that moment, I was loved unconditionally – something we all deserve.  My decision to finally be proud of who I really am was ultimately all about love for myself and love for people who matter most to me.  And the beautiful thing was – those people in turn showed their love for me.

In the moments of authenticity with my daughter and many others, I found the freedom everybody seeks.  I was suddenly free to be me.  I was free from fearing judgment.  I was free from depression and anger.  I was free from shame.

To be human and normal is to be unique and different from anyone else.  Indeed, great beauty lies is the the gay teen who courageously comes out.  It’s in the alcoholic who confesses and seeks help.  It’s in the transgendered who finally decide to be the gender they deeply know they are.  Beauty is in the other abled one who defiantly asks to be treated as any other person.  Each one of us is a work of art and a person to behold and cherish.  Baby you were born this way…

Most psychiatrists, including those of the American Psychiatric Association, believe that one’s sexual identity is fixed and not subject to change.  There have been many studies undertaken to determine the cause of human sexuality.  Is it a trait with genetic origins, pre-natal causes, or the result of how we are raised?  While no study is conclusive, research has shown higher numbers of gay men and women within extended families – pointing to a genetic influence.  Research also shows a higher incidence of gay siblings and gay twins – also indicating genetic influence.  Other research points to the influence of maternal hormones during pregnancy as possibly influencing the development of a person’s sexuality.  While some psychologists point to environmental factors as influencing human sexuality – like how we are raised as children, the testimony of countless gay men and lesbian women indicates they have been so since their very earliest memories.

The weight of evidence from numerous studies, and from the mouths of LGBTQ people, therefore suggests that genes play an extremely important role in the development of human sexuality.   We are who we are and sexuality is simply not a matter of choice any of us can make.  Baby, you were born this way…

No matter the cause of who we are, ultimately June Pride is about celebrating authentic lives not just for the LGBTQ community, but for everyone – especially those who have been denied the right to live according to their inner truth.

And so we each must ponder the depths of our inner souls.  We must be willing to admit our flaws as much as we celebrate our strengths.  We must have confidence in who we know ourselves to be.  We must embrace our differences no matter what culture, religion or prejudice tells us is supposedly normal.  To any person who wears a mask hiding the shame they feel, to anyone afraid to reveal their innermost burdens, to those who doubt their beauty and goodness, the call is to celebrate who you are and then come out.  In the dark hours alone at night, let us be real with ourselves.  Coming out of our various closets – and we have all been in a closet of some type – is a courageous leap we must ALL take.

And if we are truly authentic people, we will then have a love, care and concern for all of creation’s children.  We will have pride in the wholeness of humanity and its wide and beautiful diversity. 

To our own selves be true – because, baby, we are not a mistake.  We were born this way…

I wish you each much peace and joy.

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Click here to listen to the message. See below to read it.

I’m fortunate to have a house in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  I moved  there in 2009.  One month after my move, I heard the former Minister to the Gathering had submitted his resignation.  A Gathering Board member then contacted me to see if I would be interested in applying for the job – since I had ministerial experience and I had attended the Gathering for two years.   That seemed impossible because I’d moved, but this member suggested a schedule of three Sundays speaking in Cincinnati, one Sunday not speaking and away, and a one year trial to see if it worked.  It did and, almost ten years later, it’s the schedule I still keep.

The home I purchased in Fort Lauderdale is in a gentrified neighborhood.  In the early 2000’s, so called pioneers, many of whom were gay or lesbian, bought homes in the depressed area, fixed them up, and transformed a blighted area into one that is not.

Fortunately, the Fort Lauderdale city council had mandated that a large percent of all living units in the city be affordable for lower income persons.  My house is immediately next to such affordable housing apartments.

Over the past ten years, I’ve been occasionally frustrated with my  neighbors who live in these units.  One was an extreme homophobe who regularly harassed me and friends who visited.  Another kept discarded items and furniture in his outside area – right next to my fence.  Mosquitos bred in pools of water these items collected.  Rats lived in the furniture.  He often held loud parties.  Even so, I did my best to be friendly with him and most of the other residents – who represent our great American diversity.

My parents and many friends who have visited me, however, have asked why I choose to live next to such government housing.

My reply is that I both like my house, and I enthusiastically support the idea of affordable housing – especially in gentrifying areas that are pushing out the poor.  Further, If I am in favor of government sponsored affordable housing, I cannot then say, “but not next to me.”  To be blunt, I don’t want to be a progressive hypocrite. 

As I’ve said in past messages, I believe hypocrisy to be the single greatest human failing.  I lay claim to my own share of hypocrisies.  I’m ashamed when I become aware of them, or when someone points them out to me.  I try my best, not always successfully, to be true to my values.  

Hypocrisy was the one misdeed that Jesus also hated the most.  He regularly confronted religious and economic elites of his time for their hypocrisy.  He condemned those who ostentatiously gave to the poor – wanting everyone to know about it – when what they gave was a minimal fraction of their total wealth.  He despised religious folk who preached the love of God, but who would then walk by and ignore a seriously injured poor man lying by a roadside.   “Ewwww,” these self-righteous people would say.  “He’s unclean and probably diseased.  Just keep on walking by him.”  

Jesus also called out a group of religious men intent on stoning to death a woman caught in adultery.  He pointedly asked them, “Hey, why aren’t you also stoning the guy who was caught with her?  And by the way, any of you without mistakes and sins in your life, you go ahead and throw the first stone!”  Of course, none did.  But sadly, stoning to death of “bad”   women, and gay men, is still common in certain parts of the world.

Time and time again, Jesus preached a very progressive message for his time and for ours – one that proclaimed that real godliness was not in publicly and loudly praying, pretending concern for the poor, or judging sexual sins – when everybody is a sinner of some form.   Godliness, to Jesus, meant getting your hands dirty and actively serving the poor and hurting.  It meant correcting one’s own misdeeds before judging someone else’s.  As he memorably taught, “Don’t point out the small speck in another person’s eye when you have a giant log in your own!”  “Dear friends,” he seemed to say, “Please stop being religious or privileged hypocrites.  Walk your talk and practice what you believe!”

I recently read two newspaper articles that intrigued me about progressivism.  The first was in the online newspaper Vox about Mayor Pete Buttigieg’s open declaration of his progressive Christianity.  As a gay man, he recently confronted Vice President Mike Pence’s evangelical opposition to homosexuality by saying, “If Mike Pence has a problem with who I am, your quarrel sir is not with me, but with my creator.”  That comment captures both a politically and spiritually progressive viewpoint.  Nobody should use their personal interpretation of the Bible, or any other Scripture, as a cudgel against those who don’t have a similar interpretation.

As Buttigieg has also said, liberals should… “not be afraid to invoke arguments that are convincing on why Christian faith is going to point you in a progressive direction.”

What the article suggests is that Buttigieg’s sudden popularity and strong defense of liberal Christianity just might encourage more Americans to follow progressive spirituality.   The article notes the significant decline in America, over the past two decades, in church attendance.  That decline is mostly with liberals and progressives.  Twenty years ago, 71% of all Democrats regularly attended a church or synagogue.  Today, only 48% do.  Republicans have also had a decline in church attendance but the reduction is relatively small.  77% attended a church or synagogue in 1999.  Today, 69% do.

What America needs, the article says, is a spiritual resurgence amongst liberals.  More Pete Buttigiegs are needed to express pride in progressive spirituality – one that places the well-being of humanity front and center – much like Jesus did.  This approach is one that can resonate across political and spiritual divides.  Goodness and genuine spirituality are not about money or power or sanctimoniously judging others.  To be good is to follow the Golden Rule shared by every world religion – love your neighbor equal to how you love yourself.  Who can be against that?

Sadly, as this article says, many progressives are the ones ushering in a decline of American spirituality.  They are rapidly choosing to avoid attending any spiritual community because many, including many youth, associate church or synagogue with outmoded thinking, conservatism, or both.  Conservatives, it seems, have co-opted what it means in America to be spiritual.  They prioritize so-called bedroom values like opposition to abortion, sex outside of heterosexual marriage, pornography, same sex marriage, and feminism. 

Spiritual progressives, as we know, prioritize humanist values like full equality of opportunity and justice for everybody – especially people of color, women, the LGBTQ community, immigrants, the middle class, and the poor.  Simplistically, progressives prioritize practicing the Golden Rule.

What must happen, the Vox article implies, is a renewed revival of progressive spirituality – much like so many of our forebears had – people like John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, William Ellery Channing, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Abraham Lincoln, and Bishop John Shelby Spong, to name just a few.  Today, instead, there are thousands of preachers and advocates of fundamentalist faith but very few public advocates of progressive spirituality.  America needs a lot more progressive spiritual pride that spreads the gospel of Golden Rule love for everyone!

The other article on progressivism that intrigued me appeared in the New York Times on the Friday before Memorial Day.  The opinion piece by Farhad Mangoo laments the recent rejection in California of a new zoning law to create more affordable housing in cities like San Francisco, where it takes an annual income of $320,000 to afford a median priced home.  The blame lies, Manjoo says, with wealthy California progressives who openly practice NIMBY – not in my backyard – toward affordable housing and homeless shelters.  In a city as progressive as San Francisco, one represented by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, technology millionaires and other rich liberals defeated this bill that would help address California’s housing crisis – one that has wage earners making over $50,000 living in their cars because they can’t afford an apartment.  The average rent for a one-bedroom apartment in San Francisco is $3500 a month.  The homeless population in California is at an all time high while the number of people who are fleeing California for cheaper housing states increases every year.  As one online commenter put it about Manjoo’s opinion piece, California is a bastion of liberal hypocrites – people who loudly criticize the President’s desire to build a border wall, but who have nevertheless built a figurative wall of wealth that excludes all but the richest.  Other online commenters say many other US cities are much the same as San Francisco – filled with privileged progressives who don’t seem to care that their communities exclude much of the middle class and poor.

For me, this opinion piece was an eye opener.  How do I, with my privilege, implicitly help to also exclude the less fortunate from neighborhoods where I live?

What these two articles about progressivism tell me is that progressive pride in its values and spirituality is desperately needed in our nation.  In order to spread the gospel of progressive spirituality and values, liberals must walk their talk, and then be openly proud in what they believe.

For us at the Gathering at Northern Hills, I encourage progressive pride, during this June month of pride.  While we are not perfect, just as no church is, I believe the accomplishments and history here are reason enough to be proud, as humbly as possible, in what we represent and do.  

In a metropolitan area of well over one-million people, we are one of only a handful of spiritually progressive congregations. That offers us an enormous opportunity to extol the benefits of progressive faith.  Quite simply, we stand for – and practice as best we can – what all religions ought to stand for and practice – inclusivity, non-violence, compassion, justice for all, and service to those in need.  Just as our framed picture above the chalice table depicts, one also on the cover of your programs, we celebrate the shared ideals of Brahma, Muhammad, Abraham, Confucius, Jesus, Buddha, and others.  Love for humanity is the overriding ethic of each world religion and we, right here in this congregation, both endorse and practice that.  

As spiritually progressive people, we stand against intolerant forces that seek to divide people into competing groups. Fundamentalist religions that deny the dignity of other faiths, nationalism, racism, sexism, and excessive greed are forces this congregation and Unitarian Universalism do not support. 

Offering positive ideals, we instead call people to unite in agreement that everybody seeks the same basic things in life – happiness, love, dignity, and equality of opportunity.  What the world needs is that kind of progressive, humanist approach.   The world needs advocates of mutual understanding, peaceful coexistence, and economic justice not just for a fortunate few, but for all.  50% of the world’s population should not own only 1% of the world’s wealth.  Is that something any religion, any faith, any form of spirituality, any belief system can possibly tolerate?  Of course it isn’t and that means we as progressives can point the way to a human unity of shared goals that improve everybody’s well-being.  

And so I implore each of us to be proud of what we do here and what we believe.  June should not just be LGBTQ Pride month. It should also be for us a month of pride in the progressive values and beliefs that are the foundation of what we do here.  We can improve things about this church, as always, but such improvements are only to advance the very high cause that brings us here.  Let us lift up what we do and be positive about this good place.  Let us share our principles and our actions with youth, family members and neighbors, and give a reason why this congregation, and others like it, are important to both support and regularly attend.

(c) Sue Cline, Board President to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Click here to listen to the message:

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Click here to listen to the message. See below to read it.

Please access and watch this video of a past TV commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcGKxLJ4ZGI&t=7s

This commercial aired in 2014 but it is representative of a trend encouraging women to stop saying, “I’m sorry” so often.  Commentators note that women frequently preface requests with those words, or they apologize for things they didn’t do.  The result, sociologists say, are overly apologetic women who reinforce mostly male assumptions that women are weak as well as biologically and psychologically pre-disposed to be followers and not leaders.  Instead, as the Pantene ad we just watched says, women must be strong in order to counter that assumption.

I like to consider myself a feminist even as I admit to having male blind spots and implicit biases.  Even so, as a father to two daughters and as a gay man, I’m pleased our culture is now significantly empowering  women to demand their equal rights as the majority gender.  The women’s rights movement and the #MeToo campaign to end sexual harassment are important efforts to strip men of their disproportionate power and influence.  After being second class citizens for centuries, it’s time women become the primary influencers in the world – all so that cooperative and non-aggressive attitudes and styles of leadership can flourish.

In that regard, I don’t like what seems to be an effort to encourage women to be more like men – assertive, unapologetic, and domineering.  Our culture does not need more people acting boorish – as some men can act.  It needs more people to act with humility and decency.   It needs more people to collaborate and peacefully reconcile differences.  Those are precisely the skills many women, and some men, bring to the table.  

Power, in my mind, should not be defined by how men have exercised it in the past – leadership that too often has promoted brute strength, boastfulness, violent speech or action, and unapologetic arrogance.  As the #MeToo movement has shown, many men have too long assumed they have the right to exploit, harass, and even assault women.  

We need, instead, what is often called soft power – leadership that encourages cooperation, mutual respect, and non-violence in speech and action.  Those are both practical and spiritual ideals.  Authentic power comes from influencing people in a way that fosters agreement – so that things can actually be accomplished.  Soft power is an ethic that comes directly from Christian and Buddhist teachings that grace, empathy and reconciliation are not weak or feminine attributes.  They are, instead, powerful attributes that are proven to solve problems in ways that last because multiple people, not just a few, have participated.  

To use examples we watched in the commercial, is it a bad thing for anyone to apologize when suddenly he or she and unexpectedly enters someone else’s space?  A quick and polite “I’m sorry to bother you” begins such an encounter on a peaceful and even empathetic tone.  It’s a note of politeness for anyone, in my opinion, to say, “Sorry” when interrupting a meeting presentation with a question.  Even worse about the commercial we just saw is the encouragement for a women to act just like a rude man would – by hogging an entire blanket and justifying it by saying: “Sorry. Not sorry.”

I also appreciate how many people, male and female, say, “I’m sorry” in a way that implies empathy for something bad that happened to another.  One woman reports being criticized by her friends for saying, “I’m sorry” to her boyfriend when he burned a meal he had cooked for her.  Another woman was reprimanded by a woman next to her because she said, “I’m sorry” after the woman had dropped her coat in a muddy puddle.  “It’s my fault, not yours, so don’t say I’m sorry,” that woman scolded.

These women, however had simply expressed what many women feel and say when they see others suffer a hardship.  The reality is that many expressions of sorrow come from women who are not apologizing for something that they clearly know they didn’t cause.  They are instead expressing sympathy for someone else – the boyfriend who burned a meal he’d worked hard to prepare, or for a woman who accidentally drops her coat in a puddle.

In a recent study of 1,000 college age women and 1,000 college age men, results indicate women in fact do say, “I’m sorry” a lot more than men.   The study also revealed that women believe they’ve offended someone else far more than do men – many of whom admit they frequently don’t believe something they said or did needs an apology.

The study also showed how women are more intuitive then men by better sensing when another person hurts.  As an example, one psychologist noted that when a guy wins a race, he’s unlikely to think about how his competitors feel.  When a woman wins a race, she is very likely to downplay her success because she’s concerned about the loser’s feelings.

The implication of these results are significant.  Because many men are conditioned and trained to see the world more from their perspective than someone else’s, the study indicates they don’t as frequently admit when they’ve made a mistake.  And so they don’t apologize because they’ve essentially been taught what they do is usually right – and if someone else feels hurt, that’s their issue.  The study also shows shows men are less aware when people around them suffer.

This is an example of how socially positive attitudes possessed by many women, and some men, need to become more a part of our culture.  We all need to apologize more, we all need to be more intuitive to when we’ve offended someone, or when another is hurting.   In other words, I don’t believe women should stop saying, “I’m sorry”.  Instead, men should say, “I’m sorry” a lot more!

Unfortunately for me, that is the exact opposite of what our society is currently encouraging women to do.  The effort to get women to stop apologizing so much is, I believe, a result of patriarchy.  Cultures around the world have long promoted machismo – aggression, competition, assertiveness, and violence – physical and verbal.  Cultures have also demeaned supposedly feminine attributes like non-violence, cooperation and empathy.  Telling women to stop apologizing is one more effort to advance typically masculine attitudes and thus perpetuate male power.  This puts women in lose-lose situation.  If they speak and act more aggressively like men, I believe they promote a patriarchal culture that’s been defined by men.  Even worse, such women are labeled as pushy.  If they speak and act as women have historically been more prone to do – with greater empathy and a strong willingness to cooperate, they are labeled as weak.  No matter what many women do, they lose.  

What it comes down to is for our society NOT to expect women to change, but instead put that expectation on men.  THEY need to learn how to reduce their aggressive inclinations and instead be more willing to compete less, cooperate more, and seek to understand the motivations, feelings and hurts of others.  And if they refuse to change, then women, using their more peaceful inclinations, must become the world’s leaders.

What ultimately should happen is a change in how humanity defines and exercises power.  Nobody is truly strong when they refuse to apologize for an offense they’ve committed, no matter how minor.  And nobody is truly strong when they fight, humiliate or dominate another.  As the Buddha once said, “Self-control is strength.  Calmness is power.”  

And, as Jesus implied in his teachings, there is ironic strength in being peaceful and even weak.  Too many people have fostered the myth that Jesus’ power was due to him being an all-powerful God who will one day lead a climactic, world ending battle against non-believers.  To the contrary, Jesus was a humble and poor man who taught non-violence, compassion, and stoicism even when humiliated or attacked.  Those are what made him admired and strong two-thousand years ago and still do today.

I’m confident Jesus said, “I’m sorry” a lot.  He certainly would have learned to do so from his many female friends with whom he was unafraid to hang out and ask for advice.  He also would have done so because he taught the merits of both giving and receiving forgiveness.  Forgiveness cannot come, he taught, unless a wrongdoer admits his or her misdeed, the harm it caused, and then pledges to try and not repeat it.  In other words, one must offer a heartfelt apology in order to be forgiven.

What if one apologizes but the other does not forgive?  As Jesus said, that should not matter.  Confession, sorrow and repentance – to use Christian terms – are always the right thing to do. 

We should also apologize if we are only partially at fault.  And in that regard, I believe everyone must apologize a whole lot more because few of us, in any conflict or disagreement, are 100% in the right.  If you show me a relationship that is broken, I will in turn show you two people who are both at fault.  It almost always takes two people to cause a broken relationship. Nobody is a pure angel or a total devil.

And so we must apologize for the devil in us – the part that added to a disagreement.  Apologies properly done, with an admission of wrongdoing, awareness of hurt caused, and a promise to do better, these are like a salve that soothe and diminish angry feelings.  Anyone who refuses to forgive, whose heart is not touched by the vulnerability and sincerity of an honest apology, is not open to the healing offered.  Indeed, it’s a well-known fact that resentment and anger towards another person are not feelings that cause harm to the offender.  Instead, refusing to forgive is a poison that destroys one’s own soul.  Forgiveness, as many say, is divine.  It takes humility to ask for it, and grace to give it.

I’ve shared on several occasions the difficult relationship I had with my father.  He was a good man but I don’t think I was the son he would have preferred.  He showed that feeling toward me in many ways when I was younger and it was often done with ridicule.  Why couldn’t I throw a football like other guys?  Why did I shrink from conflict?  Why was I so introverted?  Why did I dress in clothing he called too stylish – which he really meant were too effeminate?  He said many times it was because I was not a real man.

He said that, and worse, one too many times even when I was a young adult, married with children, and making my way in the world.  And so one day I told him that until he apologized for his demeaning words, I would no longer see him or allow my girls to do so either.  I admit to using my daughters as bargain chips in my argument with him – and for that I was wrong.

But I held firm to my vow and for almost six months, when I was 34, I had absolutely no contact with my dad.  My young girls saw him a few times, but not nearly as much as before.

One day, after I’d returned home from work, the doorbell rang.  I opened the door and there stood my dad.  I didn’t know what to say but he came in the front hallway and stopped.  He struggled with words and I  can’t remember exactly what they were.  I do know he didn’t offer excuses for his past behavior.  He talked instead about how wrong he’d been and then he uttered the two words that heal so many emotional wounds – “I’m sorry.”

And that was all it took to tear down the wall between us.  I then apologized for the way I’d behaved toward him – especially by denying him the right to see his granddaughters.  We talked a bit more, he turned to leave, and just before he walked out the door, he told me he loved me…  

As much as I can remember, that was the only time in my life I heard him say those words to me – but I knew they were both difficult for him to say and also very genuine.  

From that point onward, our relationship was much better such that when I came out about ten years later he was upset at first, but he eventually accepted me and even welcomed and embraced Keith, my partner.

The power of one apology, the humility it took to offer it, and the grace it required to accept it….. they healed our ruptured relationship and restored the love between us.

I don’t want anyone to ever think she or he should say, “I’m sorry” less.  Instead, I want everyone to say those words a lot more – particularly men.  They are the polite words that make for friendly and even loving interaction.  They are the expressions of empathy for those who hurt.  They are the reconciling words that bring peace and hope to a broken world.  I firmly believe each of us need to say them more…….and I’m sorry if you disagree.

I wish you much peace and joy.         

TALKBACK!

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

I imagine many of us heard this past week that a new baby boy was born to Prince Harry of England and his wife Meghan.  What struck me was not this news, but both of their statements of joy and amazement.  

Using words every parent can identify with, Harry said about the birth, “It’s been the most amazing experience I could ever possibly imagine… it was absolutely incredible…I’m so incredibly proud of my wife and as every father and parent would ever say, my baby is absolutely amazing…this little thing is absolutely to die for.  I’m just over the moon.”

I remember feeling exactly the same when my girls were born.  Witnessing the birth of any child is one of the most meaningful experiences a person can have.  Being a dad is truly my greatest life achievement.

Those feelings of mine will never go away, but they’ve sometimes been tested.  Waking up in the middle of the night to a crying baby, changing really gross diapers, enduring the terrible twos, feeling panicked when my girls were sick, worrying when I didn’t know where they were as teenagers, and surviving their teen drama queen attitudes are times when – just for a moment – I wondered if being a dad was worth it.

Most of those momentary misgivings came from how to relate to and understand my girls – who are half my age.  I was not a crazy helicopter parent, at least I don’t think I was, but I monitored what my girls did more than my parents did me.  I remember my mom would literally push me and my siblings out the door on weekend afternoons and tell us to go have fun – but not come back unless we’d broken both arms – or it was dark.  I walked, or rode my bike, miles from my house all the time.  And most of my friends did the same.

Today, from what I hear, some parents don’t let their children walk on the front sidewalk without closely watching them, or else stapling a GPS tracking device to their bodies.  Some parents are so involved in their kids’ lives that the kids feel over scheduled and unable to just have fun – to creatively play, build tree houses, or romp through the woods.

One result is a young generation that perhaps more than previous generations feels the stress and anxiety that only adults felt in the past.  Youth today not only are stressed about full schedules, but also about school shootings, terrorism, the future effects of climate change, and an economy that could make them the first generation in history NOT to be better off financially than their parents.

Experts say that young people today spend a lot of time by themselves…more than any generation in the past.  As a result, many youth between the ages of 13 and 29 self report that depression, fear, and anxiety negatively affect them.

The younger generations are also, of course, masters of our digital technology era.  The average six year old knows more about using and  programming computers, smartphones and internet websites then does a fifty year old engineer.  Many young people report they find connection and feel less stress when using social media and their smartphones.  The devices are escapes for them from the stress and anxiety many feel.  Computers and the internet have defined their lives since birth – and that’s not something they caused.  Indeed, as one current social commentator put it, “Technology DEFINES today’s youth culture.”

Unfortunately, all of this causes many adults over forty to complain about young people.  They’re lazy, narcissistic, addicted to their phones, selfish, and rude – some adults say.  Youth are accused of taking far too long to grow up, marry, have kids, and pay their own way.

I relate to some of those feelings myself – even as I know I’m totally wrong.  Like all past generations, I like to think that I had it far harder than current young people.  I was married at 23, a dad at 24, and responsible for a mortgage at 26.  My girls, on the other hand, did not get married until their late twenties and my oldest, who is approaching 35, has said she may not ever have children.  That is of course her right to choose, but I’ve nevertheless wrongly dropped way too many hints that I’d love to be a grandfather while I’m still “young” enough to enjoy it.

Unitarian Universalists, as we know, are advocates for social justice.  We empathize with the oppressed and marginalized.  I’ve offered a few messages on ageism and how that too is a form of prejudice and implicit bias – but my perspective has always been on how ageism is directed at seniors.

In truth, ageism is discrimination based on ANY age – old or young.  Applying that definition, I have been ageist toward teenagers and young adults – as have many others.  My stereotypes of young people are wrong on many levels – the most important being that I should never stereotype anyone.  

What is true about today’s young people is not only that they are idealistic – as youth of every generation are – but that most genuinely care about equality, diversity and social justice.  A majority of them are rightly outraged that too many older people are prejudiced against people of color, or those with different sexualities.  Most youth have experienced tremendous diversity, and they’ve therefore seen firsthand that people are all the same.  

Young adults are not as driven to acquire large amounts of wealth or expensive cars and homes.  They genuinely care about the environment.  They rightly see technology as a force for good – something that can and will save lives and save the earth too.  Electric self-driving cars, solar, wind and battery power, and artificial intelligence are all forms of technology that will fix many of the problems older generations created. 

Significant to us as Unitarian Universalists is not only that we too can be ageist toward youth, but that as Progressives we overlook the fact that young people, their ideas, attitudes, and technology are exactly what our world needs.  Youth are not just literally the future, they speak and think in new, innovative and, yes, different ways.  In my opinion, that’s a very good and very needed thing!   

Forgive me for being slightly political, but I don’t believe it’s Progressive to elect another older, white, straight man as President.   And while its not for me to say, I hope my future successor here is not an old  white man either.   The world needs not just a diversity of people, but a diversity of perspectives too – ones from youth, people of color, women and LGBTQ persons.

And I apply that same standard to this congregation.  Results from our recently completed congregation survey indicate that 62% of all respondents were older than 55.  While having a majority of older people in a congregation is definitely NOT a bad thing, overall it’s not the best for any group’s long term future.  Sadly, GNH’s demographics are the same for almost all churches and synagogues.  In that regard, most of them, including GNH, need a wake up call to find ways to think young.

As Michael Tacy pointed out in one of his past messages, GNH will be stronger and live true to its Progressive ideals if it adopts more practices that young people enjoy.  That includes adding youth oriented music, message topics, and services – like we are doing with these monthly Coffeehouse services.  We should not eliminate traditional services and practices, but we must purposefully be willing to slowly but surely evolve.

For those of us who are older than 50, I believe when interacting with young people, we should:

1. Listen more and lecture less. 
2. Accept more of what youth think.
3. Stop judging and criticizing them.
4. Use a lot more humor in our conversations with them.
5. Allow youth to assume more management and leadership roles.
6. Open our minds to new lifestyles, practices and technology.
7. Be willing to sacrifice some of what we enjoy for what youth enjoy.
8. Cut youth some slack – everyone was once inexperienced too.
9. And most importantly, I believe older generations need to respect and empathize with the hopes, dreams and ideas of young people.  Respect for the dignity of all persons is a two way street.  It doesn’t run only in the direction of respect for people as old as me.  And I, for one,  thank goddess for that! 

Peace and joy to each of you!!