Author: Doug Slagle

Sunday May 23, 2010  

Service Program, 5-23-10

Good Morning

I want to take you to the “Hundred Acre Wood” of Winnie the Pooh.

Pooh was walking through his Hundred Acre Wood on a beautiful spring morning and Piglet was not far behind

Piglet sidled up behind Pooh.

“Pooh”, said Piglet..Taking Poohs paw…

“Yes Piglet” said Pooh..

“Nothing”, said Piglet..

“I just wanted to be sure of you”…

At that moment in time Pooh was Piglets Hero

To me a Hero, in keeping with the theme of the month is someone you can be sure of.  And being sure of someone or something means something different to all of us.

In a world of economic uncertainty, political unrest, and the breakdown in family homes, Who and What can any of us be sure of?   As Piglet is sure of Pooh in the Hundred Acre Wood on that Spring Morning I would like us to reflect this Spring morning  on who we can be sure of…and who can be sure of us? Not only as individuals but as a church..a Gathering..as a whole.

A little about me..

Some of you may know the type of work I do.  I am a Social Worker who has worked in the field of helping the less fortunate for over 26 years.   In the last 15 years I have worked specifically in the area of Sexual Victimization.  Six years ago I worked exclusively with children who were victims of child sexual abuse, and their families.  I, along with a team of workers helped these young victims to better understand that what happened to them was not their fault. We know that these type of crimes are about power and control.   We helped them understand that at the time of their victimization that they were powerless to stop the attack. Many felt guilty because they did not say “NO” or they were unable to fight back.

Often they were victimized by the very one that at one point they were  “Sure of” . A father, grandfather, brother, uncle… a neighbor, a teacher.

I often have people ask me “Don’t you get depressed hearing all these stories of pain”?  “I tell them that I don’t think about the abuse and pain so much.  Rather I think about the possibility of healing”.  Because to think this way keeps me focused on the daunting task at hand.

Healing was the favorite part of my job.  The time when I could help a child understand that though they were once powerless when someone hurt them, that they have all the power now to be okay. In Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” and In Psalm 147:6 The Lord sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground. I would like to say this was the outcome of my work..that these children were healed from their broken heart…and the ones who hurt them were cast to the ground or in other words getting punished for their acts.  I don’t have to tell you this was rarely the case.  Injustice some might say.

However, over the course of 8 years doing this job, and out of the number of children I worked with there were those few that had mended hearts, and were able to walk away “Being Sure” they would not be defined by their abuse and pain.

After eight years of working directly with some of the most horrific cases of child sexual abuse in Northern Kentucky, and despite the fact that I was focused on healing rather than the pain, I began to experience burn-out.   And once burn-out sets in one can become cynical and less productive in whatever work they are doing.  The children that I saw in the first year of my job I was beginning to see again.  They were either re-victimized or I was seeing their siblings, or cousins.  I knew it was time to take a break.  But what would I do?  I still believed in healing.

I want to take you out of the Hundred Acre Wood to a different place and time.

I want to take you to Jerusalum

In February 2004 a movie open to a storm of Controversy.  The Passion of Christ… My boys, Jude was 17 and Elijah (you all know Elijah! was 7).  Jude had gone to see the movie one evening and as was standard I would lay awake in bed until I heard his keys in the front door.  At that point as many of you can relate to; that sound of keys in a door late at night from someone you love has a way of making the world okay.  Also, which was a standard practice Jude would come to my bedroom door tell me he was home (like I was asleep right?) and tell me a few brief things about his evening.  On this night he told me he had seen the movie The Passion of Christ and we talked very briefly about it.  But he said something that I held for the next few weeks until I saw the movie.  He said “Mom there is going to be a part in the movie that you are not going to be able to handle, I thought about you immediately when I watched it”.  I thought he meant the violence.

A few weeks later I went to see the movie with a friend.  During this time I was still working at the Family Nurturing Center working with sexual abuse victims.  Very shortly in the movie there is a scene with Mary and Jesus as a young boy.  She is comforting him, holding him, nurturing him, the first time that I saw Jesus and his mother as possibly real people.  I loved that part in the movie.  In a way it deepened by faith.  Wow! I remember thinking.  They had a relationship.  Mary is mentioned so little in the bible.  At that point if Jesus were to take Mary’s hand he would…in keeping with my Winnie the Pooh tale…have been “Sure of her”.

The movie progresses and throughout I could not help but to think of why my son Jude would say there would be a part I could not handle?  I was probably more focused on his statement than on the movie.  I was intrigued.

The crucifixion scene began.  This was obviously the controversial part of the movie.  The one in which some would say was an unnecessary  “blood bath”  scenes gone too far to portray the death of Jesus.  “Over the top” some would say.  I was fine until…..Mary the mother of Jesus was shown in the scene.  And there she is…Without a doubt the scene my son said I could not handle.

There was Mary.  A mere spectator if you will in the crowd watching her son being brutally beaten.  The mother that was with him throughout every major event in his life.  Though at this event she was helpless.  As she watched she cried from afar. Tears streaming down her face.  At that moment..in that cinematic scene she stood out to me as  Heroic.  She could not save her son from being crucified.   But she did an act more heroic.  She loved her son, “No matter what”, to the bitter end.   And I knew…I knew too well that as a mother of two son’s there may be a time..like Mary where I could not extend my hand.  My son’s may not be able to “Be sure” of Me, nor I of them.  That things could happen in life that even I… a good mother…a loving mother…could not prevent.  This was the scene.  The one that little did I know at the time would be a reference for me to change paths in my career. My son knew me all too well.

Change in directions

I am still a social worker but I no longer work exclusively with children who have been sexually abused.  I spend my days now, and have for the last 6 yrs. working with a population of individuals that some people in their extreme approaches would like to see put on an island and forgotten…perhaps castrated…incarcerated for life..and put to death.  Lepers as are  referred to in the Bible.  In the Old Testament  they were ones “Not to be touched, and to be out casted”.  We have not unfortunately caught up to the New Testament and times when in:

Matthew 9:35 referred differently to Lepers…

Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.

See I work with what some would say are Modern Day Lepers I work with Sex Offenders.  Unless you have been hiding under a rock for the last ten years you understand what a hot topic this population is right now.  You cannot watch the evening news without a new report of sexual offending,  nor a new law that has made it more difficult for this population to live in society.  I refer to it as a modern day Salem Witch Trial.

Now as I have had to answer the question “Don’t you get depressed hearing about children being sexually abused”?  You can imagine the questions I get about working with this population.   If I have a moment of their time this is what I tell them.

I tell them a story about my first court trial that I was called to testify in.  It was a young man age 24 years old and he was facing 15 years in prison.  He was one class short of completing his Bachelors Degree and he was engaged to be married.  For every parent this would be what would be wanted for their young adult child.  I won’t tell you the details of what had occurred but I will say the crime involved a social networking site, Facebook, MySpace, and the female victim was sixteen years old.

Throughout the trial I watched his mother and I could not help but to reflect on the scene with Mary in The Passion of Christ.  This scene never left my visual thoughts, and I suspect it never will.  She would tear-up, put her head down, nervously reach in her purse for another tissue.  The trial ended for the day and we all knew this boy (her son) was most likely going to spend time in prison.  Though there was a chance he could get probation, be on the Sex Offender Registry, and continue treatment in our office which he had already been doing since his arrest 6 months earlier.

At the end of the day the mother walked up to me and took my hand.  She looked me in my eyes with tears running out of hers and said “Will you take care of my son”?  “My son”, she said needs someone he can count on that is going to help get him through this”.  “This is bigger than my job as a Mother”.  To me what she was saying is she wanted someone who her son “Could be sure of”.  I knew then if I answered her in any way I had a big responsibility and commitment to this mother and her son.  Because you see at that moment in time he was still her son.  No matter what he had done to hurt someone else.

Because of testimony and our willingness to work with him at our office the judge gave him probation and strict orders that he would be violated and sent immediately to prison if he so much thought about another sexual offense.  And that he continue in treatment. She specifically ordered him to continue seeing me for therapy.  She was a female judge and again I wondered was this a “Mother thing”?  Did the judge also recognize that he would need someone “to be sure of”.

I continue to see this young man weekly.  He has not missed one appointment in almost the four years that he has been with our office.  He has made tremendous process.  Will he hurt someone again?  I can’t be sure and I certainly cannot promise a court, probation officer, the victim’s parents, nor his mother that he won’t.  What  I can say is this…that if he continues to take his treatment seriously he will have a really strong chance of NEVER hurting another child.

I often remind those who continue to want punitive punishment for these individuals that first and foremost we need to remind ourselves that they are a person.  They are grandfathers, fathers, uncles, brothers,  and someone’s son.

I sometimes get asked by the offenders themselves when they first meet me why I do this kind of work?  I am a woman after all, and don’t all women want people like them behind bars?  The answer is easy I do this because I am a mother to two son’s.  If my children needed help and I couldn’t be there I want someone who cares enough about them to be there in my place.

The Gathering..

Voltaire the famous French philosophers said: “One of the chief misfortunes of HONEST people is that they are cowardly.

I chose the Gathering to be my church and my son’s church because upon visiting this congregation I immediately felt a group of Honest people trying not to be cowardly.  A group of people that would be as I have attempted to be for the last years; to stand up for what I believe is right. To not be cowardly when at times it would be easier to do so. I believe The Gathering backs their words by actions.   We do the right thing because it is the right thing to do!

As we progress as a church and we continue discussing what populations of individuals we want to work with in the way of volunteering that we do so with a strong commitment.  That we embrace this work in a way that they can count on us… That they can “Be Sure of Us” no matter what.    That they can reach for our hand at any given time and we will be there for them. At a time of uncertainty I hope that our Little church on the Corner can be one that others can “Be Sure of” when perhaps others in their lives cannot be there for them.

Thank you for listening to my story.  And in keeping with tradition I open up time for reflection and discussion.

Message 21, “Superhero Values”, 5-16-10

download program: Service Program, 5-16-10

© Pastor Doug Slagle, The Gathering UCC

For those of you who have been here over the last two weeks and heard the messages on heroism – or those who have read them – perhaps you have thought about the topic and whom we call heroes.  Two weeks ago we considered the idea of everyday heroes and how we can practice heroic imagination – how we must think about and plan ahead – how we will act in situations where we face significant risk and danger.  Last week, as we focused on women and their roles, we sought to redefine what it means to be a heroic female or male in our culture.  The hero is not necessarily the mother who sacrifices all for the sake of family nor is it necessarily the woman who pursues a career outside the home.  It is the person who freely and boldly chooses his or her own path in life despite what cultural norms might say.

In order to conclude this series on heroism, I want to consider today some of those mythical and fictional heroes of books, television and movies who often personify our cultural heroic ideals.  These are figures like Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman or Spiderman – who still capture our imagination.  Young boys and girls over the last hundred years have dreamed that they too could grow up to be just like Superman – a mythic figure admired by millions, who flies through the air, who possesses great strength and who stands for peace and justice.  (show superman clip)

Many of us want to be like Superman because of his many heroic qualities like his strength and his goodness.  And that is generally the case with the many other fictional superheroes who have become a part of our popular culture.  Batman and Spiderman fight the bad guys.  Wonder Woman is a beautiful but strong and intelligent woman.  It is interesting for us to note, however, that all of the pop-culture superheroes, as well as the several Bible heroes we know, are also vulnerable and flawed in certain ways.  When we idolize a superhero, we do not want him or her to be god-like in perfection.  They must retain aspects of humanity that allow them to be accessible and identifiable.  In that regard, our heroes can be great but they must not be so great as to make them individuals we cannot emulate.  The writers and creators of the superhero stories designed them to reflect us in our greatest aspirations about ourselves and, also, to reflect us in our so called feet of clay.  To be a hero is not to be strictly god-like but to also be very human.

Superman, as we all know, spent much of his life disguised as his alter-ego Clark Kent, a mild mannered reporter.  Clark is usually depicted as the classic 1950’s nerd – with large glasses, bumbling ways, and a lack of confidence around women like Lois Lane.  The superhero Batman likewise spends most of his life disguised as Bruce Wayne who was orphaned as a child when he personally witnessed his parents being murdered.  Batman fights crime but he has a dark and sinister side that is not afraid to use violence to fight violence.  Spiderman is an ordinary teenager in disguise named Peter Parker and Wonder Woman is the alter-ego of a demure and old-maidish secretary named Diana Prince.  From the Bible, Moses, as the preeminent Jewish hero, was at first a confused and indecisive figure.  David was the classic ninety pound teenage weakling before he killed the giant Goliath.  And Jesus was also a soft and compassionate man who anguished over his impending arrest and who cried out to God on the cross complaining about the unfairness of his death.  A consistent and important part of our cultural hero stories and myths, indeed of how we look at heroes in general, is that he or she must be someone we can relate to in terms of their human frailties.

We see, in them, reflections of ourselves who yearn to be great and powerful but who are too often weak, vulnerable, shy or morally confused. The reality of life and the reality of ourselves is that while we aspire to be better, we are also human.  Too often we are constrained from acting heroically by our failures and our flaws.  The heroes we admire do not shrink from fighting for what is right.  They do not refuse to be powerful or heroic.  What is distinctive about any hero we admire is that they act in heroic ways despite their flaws and despite their humanity.  They rise above their basic humanity – their weaknesses – to act in ways that are seen as superhuman.

Many of the fictional heroes will also only appear in public wearing a costume that accentuates their powers.  During the rest of their lives they remain hidden and closeted and fearful of the wider world understanding or knowing who they really are.  Clark Kent even says about Superman – and ultimately about himself, that “maybe he keeps a part of himself hidden so he doesn’t scare people away.” We can all identify with the idea of wearing a mask or a symbolic costume to prevent the world from knowing who we really are – what are our flaws and real thoughts.  We can also identify with how we show only a part of ourselves to the world – the good side that is culturally acceptable.

The message of the fictional superheroes, I believe, and the lesson we can learn from the topic of heroism is not to simply copy all of the qualities we admire – like bravery, strength and power.  Even when we honor real life heroes, we must not turn them into persons so unlike ourselves that it is impossible to be like them.  Heroes are not gods.  They are human beings who simply act in ways that we admire.  As I have proposed many times, the Jesus we honor and study is not a heroic god.  He is us.  We are him.  In spite of his humanity, in spite of his humble birth and in spite of the several ways he acted less than heroically – when he cried, when he revealed his temper and when he showed fear – Jesus could still point us to the high ideals of compassion, forgiveness and advocacy for social justice.

On the night before his execution, just a few days after he overturned tables in the Temple in a fit of temper against greedy religious merchants, Jesus knew he would soon be arrested.  The Bible story says that Jesus was highly agitated and even sweat blood in his anguish over whether to flee or submit to arrest.  And, on the cross, the Bible stories say Jesus cried out to God asking why he was being subjected to such a death.  Indeed, I believe it does Jesus an injustice to call him a god for in doing so we have made him perfect and thus all of his great attributes are no longer extraordinary.  A god should act perfectly.  But a flawed and weak human being must struggle and overcome long odds in order to be heroic.  We can admire Jesus all the more because, as a human being and not a god, he acted compassionately and was able to forgive his enemies and those who hurt him.  He rose above his humanity and his weaknesses to be a hero – a man whose teachings resonate for us still today.

And that is precisely what Superman achieves.  Out of the human nerdiness and bumbling ways of Clark Kent emerges a hero who fights for decency and justice.  Out of the closet of his identity as Clark Kent he becomes a powerful and capable hero.  And the same is true of Wonder Woman – another superhero in our popular culture.  She was created not as a feminist hero who is equal with men but as one who is superior to men.  As William Marston, the psychologist who created her said, our culture has come to despise many of the traditional feminine characteristics because they are perceived to be weak.  He said, “the obvious remedy is to create a feminine character with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman.” (show Wonder Woman clip)

Echoing what we considered last Sunday on Mother’s Day, in a fun and campy way, the message of Wonder Woman is that the demure, soft and bookish woman can also be feminine and strong.  Even though much of how Wonder Woman is portrayed panders to some of our cultural stereotypes for women – that they be sexy, have flowing hair and wear perfect make-up – the other message from her is that women can also be smarter and stronger than men.  From the apparent weakness of an overly feminine nature can emerge a hero – to be admired by girls and boys alike.

And that is what we find important when we consider how hero stories and myths apply to us. Humanity and imperfection are what make us real.  But we need not be held captive by such weakness.  Superheroes, like many of us, feel a need to mask their vulnerability and that part of themselves which is despised by the prevailing culture.  Superheroes nevertheless are able to transcend such weakness and act with power and ability.  Moses was a man who fled from responsibility only to become the one who would lead the Jews out of slavery.  Jesus was a poor, sensitive kid conceived out of wedlock who became, arguably, one of the greatest prophets and moral leaders in history.  Superman is an alien, from a distant planet, who is raised on a small farm and who grows up to be a cowardly reporter, hiding his identity.  He has, however, become the archetype of the masculine ideal – a man who is strong, handsome, moral and works for good in the world.  Wonder Woman is a bookish and weak secretary who becomes a sexy and powerful crime fighter.

Indeed, the same standards that we apply to our cultural superheroes are what we apply to our leaders and our President.  We want them to be handsome, strong and intelligent.  But, what often makes them great in our eyes is not their heroic attributes but when they are able to transcend their flaws.  Abraham Lincoln was a strong and resolute leader despite his ordinary and awkward appearance and his modest small town background.  FDR pulled the country out of a depression and acted as a bold commander in chief despite being a paraplegic, confined to a wheelchair.  Lyndon Johnson became only second to Lincoln in advancing civil and equal rights for African-Americans despite his southern, racist roots.   And, despite being a deeply flawed man, only Richard Nixon, who made his career as a communist baiting colleague of Joseph McCarthy, could open relations with Red China and begin substantive nuclear disarmament treaties with the Soviet Union – both of which have made the world safer.  We see, therefore, a common thread even in our leaders whom history applauds.

What heroic actions are in us, hidden by our ordinary and flawed masks?  What muscular and strong caped crusader who fights against injustice in this world lurks in our mild mannered bodies?  I certainly do not claim to be a hero – far from it – but I have had to step beyond my hidden and inner flaws to become more genuine and true to the world.  It was not easy coming out.  It was not fun to leave a comfort zone where the world considered me normal.  But I am finding that in my weaknesses and in my humanity are the elements of what can make me strong.

For this month of May, when we celebrate both Mother’s Day and Memorial Day, I believe we can better define what constitutes a hero.  In doing so, we can better understand ourselves and how we too are called to everyday heroism.  We see that in being heroic we must not just act in a good or courageous manner.  We must risk ourselves – our lives or our reputations.  We must transcend that which is within us that tells us we are too weak or too afraid or too confused to act.  And we must then choose the path or the action that is our own way and not subject to what the culture defines for us.  As women move beyond tradition and feminism to embrace the strength to choose what is good for them, as gays and straights defy cultural norms to be honest and loving citizens, fully equal in society, as any person who moves beyond past weaknesses or hurts, we can transcend our flawed humanity.  Despite our fears, we can boldly serve this inner city community, despite our own needs and wants, we can generously give of our time and resources, and despite that which makes us weak – our past hurts – we can be heroically transformed.  There is a quote at the Freedom Center exhibit on lynching, by Thee Smith, which says, “Let’s work together to rescue ourselves and our children from the fate of becoming bystanders in a world without sanctuary.” The superhero in each of us must transcend our own human fears and weaknesses and refuse to any longer be a bystander to inequality and injustice in this world.  I propose to us today that this church, as an entity itself, must refuse to be a bystander and it too must commit itself to heroic deeds.  That hero in us, and in our church, yearns to be free, to come out of the closet, and to act boldly and compassionately to change the world.

Message 20, “A New Mother’s Day”, 5-9-10  

Download the program: Service Program, 5-09-10

© Pastor Doug Slagle, The Gathering UCC, All Rights Reserved

The Gathering is nothing if not a wonderfully unique and different church.  Indeed, our friends within our parent denomination, the UCC, marvel at how we march to the beat of a different drummer.  Our diversity and our willingness to claim our own distinctive identity keeps us vital and strong.  We might say we are Christian but non-Christian and traditional but non-traditional.  And we are a church that is not a church.  We cannot be easily explained and I think we like it that way.

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Message 19, Heroic Sacrifice, 5-2-10

Download program: Service Program, 5-2-10
© Pastor Doug Slagle, The Gathering UCC, all rights reserved

As we begin this month of May, I hope to focus our attention over the coming weeks on heroism and the values we use in celebrating that trait. This hopefully applies for us not only on the last day of the month, Memorial Day, but also on any other day of the year. As humans, we have a long history of elevating certain unique persons to heroic status and then worshipping them almost as gods. The practice approximates that of religion and, often, religions are created because of human hero worship. Indeed, we might say that Christianity itself began as a form of hero worship – a great figure was martyred and his followers struggled with how best to continue both his memory and his teachings.

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Message 18, What is Truth, 4-18-10

download program Service Program, 4-18-10

By Pastor Doug Slagle, The Gathering UCC
©Doug Slagle, 2010; all rights reserved.

Billy Wilder, the famous twentieth century filmmaker, once said that if one is going to tell people the truth, you had better be funny or they will kill you! And, as if to prove that point while adding a just a bit of morality, Mark Twain commented that a real gentleman would never tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies!

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Message 17, Salvation, April 11, 2010

download program: Service Program, 4-11-10

By Pastor Doug Slagle, The Gathering UCC
©Doug Slagle, 2010; all rights reserved.

During the description of Jesus’ years as a travelling spiritual and ethical teacher, he encountered or talked about many colorful characters who are interpreted as universal personality types.  As examples, we can think of the Good Samaritan or the Prodigal Son or the Woman at the Well – all of whom embody the best or worst in human nature – in Jesus’ time and in our own.

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Message 16, Easter Sunday, 4-4-10, “We Are Ever Resurrected”
By Pastor Doug Slagle, The Gathering UCC  

©Doug Slagle, 2010; all rights reserved

The story all of us know so well, that of Easter morning and the resurrection of Jesus, still has resonance for us today. Whether or not the story is literal truth, its importance I believe, lies in the symbolism and allegorical message. As we just sang “Jesus Christ is Risen Today”, we can accept those words with a different but life enriching meaning. Indeed, I propose that we are all Easter people.

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Message 15, Up, 3-21-10
By Pastor Doug Slagle, The Gathering UCC
©Doug Slagle, 2010; all rights reserved.

The film “UP”, which we will consider today, follows the life of Carl Fredrickson who finds himself at an advanced age, retired and alone after the passing of his wife.  He retreats into his home and, for all intents and purposes, waits to die.  Embittered, cynical and grouchy, Carl has lost any zest for life.  And that leads to what I believe is the important theme of the movie.  That is…. how getting older often saps us of our life energy, our joy and our excitement.  In that regard, I believe it is our fears and, ultimately, our fear of death that defines many of our thoughts and actions in life.  Indeed, I believe those fears are the foundations for most world religions and forms of spirituality.   We seek a promise that we will not die and that something else controls our destiny.  And, because of our fears and our supposed maturity, we lead cautious and unfulfilled lives where we die a slow death, day after day, year after year, decade after decade.  We embody Franklin Roosevelt’s famous pronouncement that the only thing we have to fear…… is fear itself.

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Message 14, Up in the Air, 3-14-10

For any of you who have seen Up in the Air, you might relate with my reaction to it.  I both laughed and felt like I was punched in the stomach.  For me, the movie was visceral in how it affected me. There is a lot of subtle commentary in the movie about contemporary challenges like unemployment, corporate insensitivity and downsizing as well as how technology dehumanizes and isolates us from each other.  But, as I found with the movie Avatar that we discussed last Sunday, these are the easy messages to draw from the film.  What I found most profound – and what hit me in the gut – was the protagonist’s search, George Clooney’s character, to find significance and meaning in his life.  We watch him face a kind of mid-life crisis in which everything he had dedicated his life toward achieving, all of sudden seemed to him small, insignificant and ultimately worthless.  As I saw him flounder in a life he no longer completely understands, I also squirmed.  We all face this deeply personal question, at some silent moment – perhaps in the dark of night – when we ponder our lives and ask ourselves “What is the meaning of my life?  Why am I here?  What use am I to the world?  Does anything really matter?”

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Message 13, Avatar – Are We Entitled?  3-7-10

Avatar, as most of you know, is the biggest money-making movie of all time.  In dollar values, the movie has made almost two and one-half billion dollars worldwide since its release.  72% of its gross revenues have come from the international market, thus indicating the movie has a broad appeal that transcends cultures and nationalities.  Tonight, it stands poised to win several Academy awards including, possibly, the best picture Oscar.

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