Author: Doug Slagle

© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, All Rights Reserved

Let us take a few minutes and consider several true scenarios about everyday life in our community and nation.  Listen with your hearts and minds to the overt or subtle forms of prejudice and discrimination that might be found in each story.

What do you think of a story about two white parents who adopt a bi-racial girl who is close to the same age as their two biological twin sons?  As the three children reach school age, the children are placed in the same second grade classroom.  They are assigned a caring, thoughtful and progressive teacher.  He is genuinely concerned about each of his students but seems to offer special concern for the bi-racial girl.  During the school year, he consults with the parents about the twin boys and works with them about academic challenges the boys are having.  He arranges for extra tutoring and discusses strategies to assist them.  When report cards are sent home, the parents are surprised to learn their daughter has relatively low marks.  When they ask the teacher why they had not been previously informed – as they had for their boys – the teacher reports love and admiration for the girl and says she is achieving to the limit of her capability.

Or, consider an African-American computer company executive who, after three years working at the company, discovers that every Friday evening many white male co-workers assemble at a local bar for happy hour drinks.  No women or minorities are included in this gathering.  Even though it appeared at first to merely be an offensive social group, he learns that several business decisions had been made during these functions and realizes he and others had been shut out.

Or, think about the film “Philadelphia”, a sympathetic and ground breaking movie about AIDS and gay men.  On a courtroom witness stand, the character played by Tom Hanks discusses how he succumbed to the “repulsive gay lifestyle” – his words, not mine – when he went to watch gay pornography and engaged in a gay sexual encounter afterwards.  He faints on the witness stand after telling his story.  This scene is contrasted with a later cocktail party discussion by straight lawyers talking about their group visit to a female strip bar and the sexually provocative women they see and meet.  They seem to characterize their actions as normal heterosexual, male behavior.  None of them faint at the retelling of that story.

What are your thoughts of a sorority at a well-known Indiana university that summarily purges from their membership 23 girls.  No reasons are given other then the need to reduce costs to the sorority.  None of the girls complain, but friends of the girls report to campus authorities rumors and suspicions they have.  Many of the 23 girls are overweight.  A few have significant problems with facial acne.  It is assumed the 23 were purged because they would be considered by the wider campus culture as overweight and unattractive.

Or, think about a police captain in a large city who speaks at a forum on rape prevention after a well-publicized case involving a local woman.  During his presentation, he remarks that the raped woman had been dressed like a “slut”.  He concluded by asserting that if the women in the audience wanted to prevent their own rape, they should dress in conservative and demure attire – not like a “slut.”

Another true story scenario involves a woman who departed Music Hall here in Cincinnati after a concert.  After reaching her car, she found that it would not start.  She tried repeatedly to start it, but only a slow, grinding noise was the result.  Her efforts attracted the attention of a group of local men.  They were all African-American and they approached her car and began to tap on her side window, apparently asking her to roll it down.  The woman became alarmed and called 911 on her cell phone.  When the police arrived and questioned the men, they sincerely indicated their reason for approaching the woman’s car and tapping on her window was to try and get her to open her front hood so they could inspect the engine and see if they could help.

Finally, what are your thoughts of a caring and loving father who chose to attend PFLAG meetings – not the Cincinnati chapter – after his son came out.    At one meeting, he claimed that his son is “straight acting” in appearance.  He even talked about how his son was an athlete and played on the school football team of which he was an assistant coach.  His son may be gay, the dad proudly asserted, but he acts just like “normal” guys.

I assume that for each of us, we are able to discern the subtle but underlying prejudice in each story.  The well-intentioned teacher who nevertheless assumes girls or other those of other races can achieve only to certain academic levels.  Or the white group of business friends who may not think they discriminate but do so subtly in their social interactions and thus in their business dealings.  Or the prejudice that is latent in our culture about gay sexual expression contrasted against what is considered normal or straight sexual expression.  Or the level of “looksism” in our society – the subtle but pervasive ways we judge people based on weight and physical appearance.  Or the attitudes some men and women still have about how females dress themselves.  Men can often appear in parks or public places dressed in shorts – with no shirt – but women who dress in tight or revealing clothing are supposedly asking to be raped.  What about the subtle racism many of us have towards persons of color here in Over-the-Rhine.  In an area with many men who know how to repair cars – most locals need that knowledge since many lower income families drive older cars.  Why would a woman or any of us react with concern when a group of African-American men come to our rescue – versus a group of white men in coats and ties – who probably know nothing about car repair?  Or, finally, what about the degree of “fem-phobia” or “mascu-phobia” that is imposed on the different genders.  Even if one is a gay male, many of us believe he should not look or act feminine.  And the same holds true for lesbians – she should not look or act in any way that is too masculine.

As we sit here, each of us might think that such thoughts and attitudes are not ours.  We do not hold such prejudice nor would we ever act like those in the stories I just told.  And yet, I know I do.  I know that very feminine or flamboyant appearing or acting men make me uncomfortable.  I will treat them with respect but I silently note to myself how different they are.   I know when I walk outside these doors and down Main Street alone and am approached by a few African-American young men on the sidewalk, my pulse quickens.  I am tense and afraid.  And I know I have asked my daughters to be careful about how they dress and to consider that many men have only one thing on their minds.  I implicitly tell them their apparel might lead to rape.  I also know how I feel about being thin and supposedly healthy.  In the back of my mind, I am silently assuming that persons who are significantly overweight are unhealthy – even though that is often a fallacy.  Deep in the darkest recesses of my own heart and mind linger attitudes that are racist, sexist, looksist and fem or mascu phobic.  I am, truth be told, a closet bigot.

What are the silent and unacknowledged prejudices you hold in your hearts and minds?  If the truth sets us free, as Jesus said, can we experience our own personal “Revelation” in order to correct our attitudes and resulting actions?

The short story for this week, by Flannery O’Connor, deals with the idea of overt and subtle racism.  At its core, any form of discrimination comes from a human need to feel superior to another.  Whatever it may be, the dark side of human nature seeks to reduce others so that one might be feel more normal, smarter, prettier, thinner, wealthier, or just simply better.  This is played out in the waiting room scene in the story.  Mrs. Turpin, the main character, bases her judgement of others in the room  on their appearance, social status and race.  She clearly believes she is superior to African-Americans, to so-called white trash and to those who are ugly.  She does not perceive her thoughts to be in any way discriminatory.  By her stereotypes, African-Americans are lazy and inappropriately arrogant, lower class whites are uneducated and lack any socially redeeming qualities and those who are perceived by her to be ugly are almost as bad.  God blessed her by not creating her to be black, white trash or ugly.  By implication, in her warped understanding of Jesus’ teachings, anyone born black, white trash or ugly has been cursed by God – people who are as unworthy of the blessings in life as they are of God’s love.  Indeed, as her thinking implicitly goes, if God loved such people, he would not have made them so lowly.  Mrs. Turpin finds she shares such beliefs with the stylish woman in the waiting room.  The two women barely hide their contempt for the other white woman in the room – a woman who is not as wealthy, educated or refined as the other two.  She and her family are deemed white trash.  But even as that woman must suffer the scorn of discrimination and prejudice by more affluent whites, she too expressed vile contempt for African-Americans.  Out of a need to feel superior to someone else, she reflects a mindset that somebody has to be of even lower status than oneself.

In the Biblical book of Acts, which describes events that take place after the resurrection of Jesus, there is evident tension between the more Jewish followers of Jesus who seek to keep the new faith a part of Judaism and its many dietary rules and regulations, and those who profess an openness to non-Jews, gentiles and their customs.  Paul best represents the latter.   Peter and James, two disciples of Jesus, represent the former – those who saw Jesus as a strictly Jewish prophet – one not open to non-Jews.

One day, Peter has an epiphany when he sees a vision of a sheet lowered from heaven, full of all sorts of animals and fish – most of which were unsuitable for consumption based on Jewish Kosher law.  As he saw this vision, Peter hears the voice of God telling him to eat all of the animals in the vision even though many were pigs or types of shellfish – ritually unclean and unavailable to Jews.  Even further, God tells Peter not to call ANYTHING impure that God has made.  Implicit in this revelation to Peter is the idea that NO food and NO person should be considered unclean or impure.  All persons – whether Jew or gentile – are open to receive the love of God.

And this is much like the revelation experienced by Mrs. Turpin.  As she pours forth her contempt of blacks, poor white folk and the ugly, Mrs. Turpin is herself viewed with contempt by the stylish woman’s daughter, ironically named Mary Grace.  This girl openly sneers at the racist views of Mrs. Turpin.   Finally, no longer able to control her anger, Mary Grace hurls a book at Mrs. Turpin, hitting her just above the eye, and in words filled with fiery indignation, tells her she is an old wart hog from hell and to return from whence she came.

Evident throughout the description of this climactic scene is the symbol of eyesight – that of Mrs. Turpin whose sight is made blurry by being hit on the head, and that of Mary Grace whose eyes are piercing and ablaze with righteous fury at the smug, arrogant and racist words of Mrs. Turpin.  Mary is clearly cast in the role of an angry Biblical prophet much like Isaiah, Elijah or John the Baptist.  To Mrs. Turpin, Mary and her outburst seem to be a message from God.  “But just what is that message?” cries Mrs. Turpin to God.  Has she not been a pious, Bible reading, faithful follower of Jesus?  How dare some strange girl, or God Himself for that matter, tell her to go back to hell?   As she goes to feed and clean the pigs she and her husband raise, animals even the poor white woman said she would refuse to raise because they are so dirty, Mrs. Turpin realizes the same epiphany the Biblical Peter had.  If she is to judge others, then she too is a dirty pig.  What right does she have, as just another of God’s creatures, to judge another person or their actions?  The Biblical admonition, “judge not, lest ye be judged”, likely rings in her head.  Mrs. Turpin is literally struck dumb as she comes to realize that she is, indeed, no better and no worse than an old wart hog, an African-American, a poor white woman or anyone else. God will judge her as surely as she has judged others.  And, indeed, he has.  God has condemned her previous thinking to hell.

But lest we find any of ourselves in the smug position of reacting with approval at Mrs. Turpin’s comeuppance – bigots deserve such judgement – we must examine our own hearts and minds.  Forms of subtle racism and discrimination perhaps cloud even our supposedly pure, innocent and progressive minds.  Whatever form it takes, how many of us must admit to ourselves we too judge others?  And that judgement comes mostly from our eyes and the appearance of the other.  Is someone too feminine, too rich, too poor, too black, too overweight, too unkempt, too unclean, too ugly, too Asian, too Muslim, too unlike a “normal” person?  Do we treat such people the same as we too wish to be treated – according to the one Spiritual ethic on which all religions agree – the Golden Rule?  As some homeless folk from the streets outside often come in and ask to use our restroom, I find myself cringing and silently thinking to myself, “We are a church.  We cannot say ‘no’ to this person wanting to use our restroom.  But, oh, he or she is so dirty or so smelly or so drunk that our nice and clean restroom will be soiled.”

My friends, I daresay that open and overt attitudes of prejudice are better than the insidious but hidden and subtle forms.  At least, in the case of open racism, we know what we confront.  The power of Flannery O’Connor’s “Revelation” story – if we allow it to have that power – is not in the moment of truth Mrs. Turpin has; the calling out of nasty racism.  It is in the lesson we might learn.  Just as she too thought herself better than others, the same may well hold true for many of us.  We might think ourselves superior to her.  We are not.

If nothing in the universe created by the Divine hand is unclean, than all are deserving of our total love and respect.  The unattractive, the Muslim, the immigrant, the feminine acting gay guy, the overweight, the conservative, the liberal, the female, the transsexual, the old, etc. etc.  Everyone.  All people. All creatures.

I pray that we might each have our own epiphany moments – times when we clearly see ourselves as human and as imperfect as the next.  We all require growth and regular heart check-ups to measure our own hidden prejudices.  As we see them, we must confess them and bring our prejudices into the light of day.  Others should know of our struggles to eliminate such thoughts from our minds.  In the clean and open air, we can be washed of the dirt in our own attitudes.  Let us, in the silent hours of self-examination, see that we too are bigots in our own way, no better than any white sheeted Ku Klux Klan member.  May we have our own moment of profound revelation…

© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, All Rights Reserved

An anonymous writer once said that when true lovers kiss, they are focused on nothing else.   The other becomes the whole universe, time and place are lost.  The moment lingers into eternity.  There is just the kiss, lingering, passionate and overwhelming.

Who among us has not experienced or desired such a kiss or felt such an emotion?  We can literally feel in those times, the hormones coursing through our veins, our sight is blurry, our pulse quickens, the hairs on our arms and backs of our necks stand up and every touch is electric.  Our lover has no equal in our mind.  He or she is the focus of our desire, need and dependence.  Most of our thoughts turn his or her way.  We become obsessed and convinced we have found the true one for all eternity.

The power of these emotions are burned into our minds and hearts.  We call these feelings “love” and convince ourselves it is not only genuine but ours to hold onto and tightly hug forever.  There are few faults in the other – so we tell ourselves.  And our lover often says the same thing to us.  We have happened across perfection – two souls destined to be together since the beginning of time.

Is this love?  Is it lust?  Are these the feelings we often associate with a honeymoon phase of a relationship?  Is this the kind of love we find rational and enduring – or is it based mostly on feeling and emotion?

In the short story we will consider this week, Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love”, we are confronted with a view of contemporary life where love is not easily defined.  Indeed, the characters in the story are at a loss about the subject – they struggle to understand just what constitutes this elusive emotion we all talk about but often cannot define.

As we read in the story, is love like the possessive, destructive and ultimately lethal form of passion shown by the unseen character Ed, Teri’s ex-husband?  He was jealous; he beat her; he threatened to kill her if she spurned his alleged love; finally he killed himself since he could not have her.  Despite all of this dysfunction on his part, Teri insists Ed loved her.  It was genuine love she repeats to her unconvinced friends.  Indeed, she seems to appreciate that form of love over the stale love she has with her current husband.  For our sakes, can obsession really be love?

Or is love more like that between Mel, the character who talks the most about it, and his second wife Teri?  These two, who have had previous spouses and other lovers, have settled into an uncomfortable five year relationship – engaging in the petty sniping and open hostility at the small faults of the other.  Their words of affection for each other are forced and unconvincing.  They annoy the other far more than they charm.  And yet they profess their love.

Does the narrator Nick love his new wife Laura, whom he describes as his best friend?  She is easy to get along with, he reports.  They touch and hold hands and speak with gentleness to the other.  They might still be in the honeymoon phase of marriage but there seems to be a lack of depth or crackling passion between them.

Or is true love that which is between the old couple described in the story?  Severely injured in a car crash and confined to hospital beds with bodies swathed in bandages, we hear about the old man who tears up and cries because he is unable to see his wife – even as she lies in a bed next to his.  Mel, Teri, Nick and Laura are entranced by this story even though they are mystified by it.  In a culture that professes love for celebrities, cars, brands of detergent and other people who come and go from our lives as quickly as we can change our relationship status on our facebook pages, what do we say about two seniors saddened and depressed because they can no longer see the other?  Is that the kind of love we deeply desire – the kind of love felt when we first say we have found it and hope to hold onto forever?

And yet, as the character Mel asks, is love ever permanent?  Each of the four characters had previous spouses.  He contemplates the love he once had for his ex-wife Marjorie whom he now hates with a passion – so much so that he fantasizes about filling her house with bees so she can be stung and have a lethal, allergic reaction.   He would first make sure his children were out of the house – reflecting for a moment the kind of unconditional love most parents have for their children.  What happened to Mel’s love for his ex?  Where did it go?  We might also ask what happened to the love Mel once had for Teri, his current wife?  He professes it is still there but what turned it into a jaded and tense relationship?  Will that happen to Nick and Laura and their love?  For those who lose a lover to death and then find another, did that love also die?  How can we have eternal love if most of us would seek another lover when our current one dies or if we break up?  Mel asks all of these questions to his friends.  Both they and we squirm uncomfortably.

According to the Buddha, just as our love has a beginning, eventually it will also have an end.  We should rejoice while we have it and understand that love, along with everything else in life, is impermanent.

In so many ways, this speaks to what we read about in Carver’s short story.  The characters begin their conversation about love in a sunlight infused room – toasting each other over shots of gin in a moment of happy togetherness.  As they discuss the topic of love and begin to recognize its elusive qualities, its ability to come and go, love’s dark sides of obsession, hate and even its end when lovers are pulled apart by tragedy, the light drains from the room and from the characters themselves.  The entire scene changes.  At the end of the story, as Carver writes, they sit in the dark, confused and bewildered, hearing their separate heart beats but lacking any real connection.

While I am the last of people to offer advice on love, I find in Carver’s story profound truths about the nature of love and life.  Just as we discussed last week our need to let go of past regrets and hurts, the same holds true regarding our perspective on love.  It is said that human nature craves security, predictability and permanence.  We are averse to change even as much as many of us, in this congregation, claim we are progressives.  We yearn bygone moments in the past – the comfort of the known versus the risk of the unknown.  In love, we often want much the same.  We hold onto notions that love should be wild and passionate and ever constant in our lives.  True lovers never hurt each other.  They never change.  They never are indifferent or bored or forgetful.  Great dreams of “happily ever after” linger in our minds and we expect it to come true.

What we come to realize, like the characters in Carver’s story, is that love is not like that.  While modern lovers seem willing to jump from one relationship to another, even those who enjoy long term relationships experience the pain of love and loss.  We grasp at love like our youth obsessed culture grasps at staying young – we refuse to accept that it changes.  The Buddha even likened our craving for permanence in love to being in a sinking boat and trying to hold onto the water.  Love hurts.  Love changes.  Love will end.

As soon as we recognize and accept this however, the better able we are to understand the spiritual implications of real love.  The irony of finding happiness in our love lives is to let it go.  We must set our lovers and our expectations of them free.  Indeed, we must even let go of being in love.  We must let go of our unrealistic demands – that the excitement and lust and intensity of love will be ours forever.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh, the wife of the famous aviator, once said that, “the only real security with love is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not even in hoping. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting it as it is now.” Adding to that idea, Eckhart Tolle, an author of books on spirituality, writes, “the moment we see how fleeting everything is – and don’t resist it – something in us feels spacious and peaceful.” Whether intentional or not, Tolle echoes Jesus who said that, “Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.”

Much like letting go of past hurts, regrets, mistakes or guilt, we must let go of past dreams and expectations for love.  By doing so, we find the happiness and joy we seek.

Sadly, this epiphany is not available to the characters in our story.  They seem paralyzed and in the dark about how to define real love and then how to find it.  Even in their discussions, they are mostly unable or unwilling to self-examine what they are doing – failing to fully appreciate the love they share at that moment.  That kind of love exults in the present and is content.  The Islamic mystic Rumi wrote hundreds of years ago to his lover – sometimes assumed to be another man, “Come on sweetheart, let us adore one another, before there is no more you and me.” The only real love Rumi and his sweetheart can experience is in adoring each other now.  Too often we obsess about what we once had and what we hope to have in the future.  In doing so, we ignore the love we actually have, right in front of our faces.

As I said earlier, whatever I have to say on the subject of love does not come from my own expertise in finding the kind that many of you experience or have known – the kind that endures over decades and not years.  I am one like each of you – seeking and groping for truths about love and life that will enable happiness, meaning and fulfillment.   I want to live and thrive.  I want to love and be loved.  I want to serve and find meaning in helping to change the world for the better.  I want to be around friends and people who are not afraid to change for the better.  It would be too easy today to simply expound on the great ideals of love.  We all know what they are.  Constancy.  Passion.  Respect.   Service.

But those are expectations and dreams.  What kind of love do you have in your life right now?  Accept it and be thankful for it.  I do not support embracing destructive love like the kind described in the story between the unseen Ed and Teri – the kind that is emotionally or physically abusive or overly possessive.  I talk about accepting the kind of love many of us find in life – it is gentle, easy, we are not swinging from the chandeliers in all forms of ecstasy, we even argue and negotiate.  That love is a long way from our honeymoon time – and a long way perhaps from what we expected.  Even in singleness, we often find that our hopes for love keep us trapped in craving and expectation for what we lack.  Such thinking can lead to bitterness and depression –  which is ironically much like that experienced by those who are not single but whose past expectations for love have changed.

Instead, we can realize there is abundant love all around us – it is here for our taking.  I cannot love Ed 9000 miles away in the same way I can when we are together.  But I can love friends and family – all of you – who are here, who are in my present.  I can love Ed differently, but also in the present, over the phone and by e-mail.  In doing so, I find I am content and happy.  I have to let go of what I want and find contentment in what I have.  Even now, even here, I am richly filled with love all around me.  I daresay that is true for every person in this room.  In this moment of time, in this little place in a corner of our universe, there is love happening between spouses, partners, new lovers, old lovers, friends and family.  Look around you.  To the one next to you, to the one across the room, love is not yesterday nor is it tomorrow.  Let all of that go.  Love is right now.

“Life Choices”

© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, All Rights Reserved

Because of some sensitive content in this message, it is available to congregation members only.  Please e-mail thegatheringcincinnati@gmail.com if you would like a copy sent to you.

© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, All Rights Reserved

If you were to meet a never married, childless man in his mid-thirties, who still lives with and is close to his mother, hangs around cheaters, petty thieves, prostitutes, the mentally ill, unemployed, and adulterers, who himself has no job and no possessions, likes to drink and party and is a member of a fringe religious cult, what would you say about him?  Given that description, I would probably think to myself that he is a bit strange and not someone I would befriend.  And if I heard that at a young age he was arrested, charged with a capital crime and executed, I would be even more inclined to think he led a sad and tragic life that did not amount to much.  As someone who, in my own grandiose vision of myself, likes to think I am part of society’s mainstream, this man is someone who I would not emulate.  He would not be my role model for success or normalcy.

And yet, as most of you have already discerned, this man that I just described fits the life history, as we know it, of Jesus.  However much the Bible contains supernatural tales and allegorical myths that were intended more to instruct than be literal history, Jesus was likely a real human who lived and died two-thousand years ago.  Descriptions of his life, his teachings and the impact he had on society after his execution indicate that he was a flesh and blood man.  The supernatural figure called the Christ, who performed numerous miracles and rose from the dead to now be God, is another matter.  Jesus the Christ was an invention to mitigate the seemingly loser aspects of Jesus the man’s real life.  Why would people want to remember or honor a man conceived out of wedlock, who never built or acquired anything of value, who enjoyed the company of other outcasts and who was executed in a manner reserved only for the worst kinds of criminals?  As his followers believed, no history book would remember this person and certainly no religion could be created around him.  Instead, he needed to be re-made into a god-man.  And so he was.
But that being the case does not mean the real-life Jesus was a loser.  Indeed, the very loser qualities that seemed to make his life an embarrassment to his followers, are instead the traits of a genuine hero.  He succeeded in life in ways that few have matched.  Absent his Christ status and power, Jesus remains a remarkable and truly amazing person.  His teachings about peace, forgiveness, love of enemy, compassion for the outcast, service to the poor and sick and hatred of hypocrisy still resonate around the world as profound and breathtaking.  While he may not have been a god, his ethics and the way he led his life point to the Divine.  Jesus is history’s most famous loser who rose above and, indeed, embraced his “loser” label to truly succeed.  In that way, he remains a role model for us all.
As we saw in the opening video clip, our song for today is from the currently popular television show Glee.  Like any good show, it has achieved a loyal following and its devotees often call themselves “Gleeks”.  Many say it is the show’s unabashed feel-good themes that make it popular – especially in our economically depressed and worrisome world.  Most importantly, the show highlights the generally happy and positive lives of students in a Lima, Ohio High School Glee club – kids from a small, mid-western town who could be described as outcasts and losers.  There is the adopted Jewish girl who dreams of being a star, the wheelchair bound kid, the flamboyant gay kid, the African-American overweight girl, the dumb blonde, the pregnant girl, the tough, rebel guy, etc, etc.  All join the Glee club, which is seen in most high schools as nerdy and one no athlete, cheerleader or popular kid would want to join.  And the Glee kids are ruthlessly teased, bullied and splashed in the face with “slushees” – colored, shaved ice concoctions people that are used as weapons against those perceived as a loser.
But these kids thrive and succeed.  They find in themselves the creative and joyful energy to sing, dance and perform.  They perform in numerous competitions and often win – bringing to their school and to themselves the kind of positive recognition the sports teams or cheerleading squads are unable to provide.  And, as we just saw, they fully embrace their loser status.  They face the same hurts and pains of any marginalized person or group but they transform their lives and their thinking into something positive, celebratory and genuine.
If you heard or read my last two messages – the first on optimism and last week’s on authenticity – this week’s song and theme focuses on how any of us can transcend life’s setbacks, depressions and loser qualities into something good and happy.  Indeed, using Jesus’ life as an example, what did he – and other successful, so-called nerds or losers – do in life that enabled contentment?  Even further, what can any of us do to find that elusive life of true happiness, peace and joy?  Instead of dwelling on what make us unhappy, what helps us thrive and exult in the pure thrill of living?  To put it in a youthful vernacular, what rocks our world or knocks our socks off?
Working in the 1950’s, a well-known psychologist named Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania pioneered research into positive psychology.  Instead of focusing on the causes of mental and emotional dysfunction, he encouraged the study of what helps people find and nurture innate talents so that they happily thrive.  What thoughts and actions make even a normal life extraordinary?  How might so-called losers become winners?
As we examined two weeks ago with the Dolly Parton song “Light of a Clear Blue Morning”, there is power in optimism.  This is not blind and irrational positive thinking that is naive and patronizing.  Useful in positive psychology, this philosophy is called “hedonics” and involves the ability to be upbeat, dream big and focus on the good in life, in oneself and in others.  Jesus saw lepers as people to be hugged and touched, prostitutes as loving and decent, criminals as inherently good, sinners as worthy of forgiveness, the sick as otherwise healthy – all people, especially the outcast – as beautiful and holy.  Jesus embraced life and enjoyed dinner parties, wine and the company of all kinds of fun-loving people.  He dreamed of a better world and he set out to make it so – through his abilities to love, teach and care for others.
Many of the so-called loser kids in the Glee show practice the same ethic.  They dream of being stars, they are confident in their abilities, they see each other in a positive light, they enjoy life through song, dance and the usual highlights of teenage living – love, good times and romance.  Indeed, the show itself embodies “hedonics” – its characters celebrate life which in turn allows viewers to experience fun and inspiration.  One is rarely sad at the end of a Glee show.
Besides practicing a form of hedonics, Dr. Martin Seligman also proposed practicing the psychological theory called gratification.  This involves finding satisfaction in creativity, beauty, excellence and perseverance.  When we are creative – in music, art, cooking, writing, gardening, dance or speech, we discover something unique inside ourselves.  We have the power to birth something entirely new – a piece of our souls to behold and admire.  From the first cave paintings by early humans, we as a species thrill at the creation of types of art that often has no utilitarian purpose.  Such forms of self-expression are made to simply be experienced.
As an example, Jesus told many memorable and quite eloquent parables designed to teach and be remembered.  Such stories are believed to be authentically from the man Jesus.  They were creative expressions of his life that made him loved and admired.  Each of us identifies with the poignant story of the prodigal son, the good samaritan, or the wedding feast.  In them, Jesus painted timeless word pictures of great beauty and universal wisdom.
The Glee kids may be labeled losers but they have legitimate talent as singers and dancers.  Through such gifts they are able to evoke feelings of joy, longing, grief, love and compassion.  As one gay character sings “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”, he beautifully interpreted it to the love he has for his father who openly and proudly accepts him.  The cast brought new, contemporary power to John Lennon’s song “Imagine” as a plea for social justice and they exuberantly sang Maddona’s tune “Like a Virgin”, representing their own teen angst and sexual awakening.
This personal creativity found in positive psychology can be realized in any one of us.  From insightful words in personal diaries, to moving piano pieces played here each week, to photographs we take, to the meals we prepare, to the gardens we tend – there is in each and every person great art waiting to be unleashed.   Happiness is found in its creation – both for ourselves and for those who experience it.  Who among us is a loser when we are capable of bringing beauty into our world?  To take liberty with President Kennedy’s famous saying, let us not ask what the world has or has not given us, let us instead find happiness in the talents we have and the creatively we give the world.
Besides using hedonics and personal creativity to build positive psychology, Dr. Seligman also encouraged finding personal meaning.  This involves building community, spirituality, knowledge, justice or compassion in others.  We live to serve not just ourselves.  We were encouraged by Jesus to love other people as much as we love ourselves.  As he said, to do this we must teach the child, soothe the sick, visit the prisoner, comfort the bereaved, clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and speak out for the marginalized.  At any age, in any state of mind or health, rich or poor, we can each find personal satisfaction and happiness by doing good for others.  Indeed, helping other people is one way we are both selfish and selfless.  We help ourselves as much as we help another.  I know I repeat this far too often, but it is a core value of which I must constantly remind myself and which I believe must be central to who we are as individuals and as a congregation.  We exist, we live, we find purpose, meaning and real joy in giving to others – both financially and with our time.  This is not an option in life – it is a necessity and a duty.
Too often, religious descriptions of Jesus paint him as a man of sorrows.  Seen in a religious light as angry and condemning of a hypocritical and sinful world, this view of Jesus saw him as resigned to his sacrificial death on a cross.   Paintings depict him as somber, serious, stoic and even sad.  Such depictions offer a false view of the man – one who I contend saw the opportunity and possibility in life and in this world.  While he was not content with the way things were, he set out to change them – to bring solace, comfort and happiness to others and to teach people how to do the same.  His vision was one of optimism – the Kingdom of Heaven is here and now!  Lets embrace goodness, mercy, love, peace and happiness.  Lets have fun.  Lets party.  Lets stop obsessing over the petty details of how to look good and instead focus on actually doing good and being good.  Life is not a pain filled waiting room for that big, puffy cloud called heaven.  Life is a playground for us to help build and then enjoy.  Jesus may have hung on a cross but he was not resurrected to leave us and rule from above.  That is the stuff of myth written by men with a religious agenda.  Jesus was instead resurrected in the hearts of his followers, in other prophets of history and in us.  He was not some sad-sack loser who found greatness only by becoming God.  Jesus was a great and successful human being who worked to transform himself and the world into a happier place.
An old anonymous saying states that nobody is born a winner and nobody is born a loser.  We are what we make ourselves to be.  Winners in life are not those who die with the most things or the most money.  They have not amassed the most power or achieved the most fame.  They have, instead, built for themselves a reservoir of contentment.  Such people are at peace with themselves and with the world.  They find beauty in each person and each living thing.  They know who they are; they have embarked on journeys of fulfillment – doing the work they were made to perform; they have loved deeply and loved well; they have given of themselves and their resources in service to others; they have celebrated and laughed; they have created beauty and art.   We can each wondrously make ourselves into persons of charm and grace – never an outcast, never a misfit, never a loser.  In you, in me, in people across the earth – there are only winners waiting to emerge…

© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering UCC, All Rights Reserved

“Born This Way” Video

Service-Program, 07-10-11

 

To listen to the message, click below.  Or read it further down.

Who are you?  In the deep, dark night when you lie awake while all the world sleeps, what truths about yourself do you honestly ponder?  What innermost thoughts, dreams, loves, fears, hatreds and inspirations define the essential ‘you’?  And when the light of day arrives, and you move out into a world of relationships, work and human interaction, are you the same person whom you defined in the darkness?  Are your actions and your speech consistent with who you are and who you were made to be?

On this Pride Sunday here in Cincinnati, I hope we might all celebrate the core meaning of this day – one of acceptance and joy for being authentic.  This day is celebrated at various times in various cities around the world as a way to proclaim that no longer will ANY person – gay or straight – need to feel the shame or stigma for simply living true to themselves.  Indeed, the message I hear from Lady Gaga’s song “Born This Way” is one for us all.  To the frightened gay man or woman afraid that friends, family or peers will learn their truth, to the confused soul who struggles to make sense of life, to the one despairing of pain, depression or loneliness who puts on a brave face to the outside world, to the angry one who hates his or her own life and hides such self-loathing in drugs, alcohol or bitterness toward others, today of all days speaks of a need for authenticity.  And joy.  And freedom from the masks that many of us wear.  And most of all PRIDE in allowing ourselves to stand in the light of day and simply be who we truly are – wounded, loving, straight, joyful, young, lusty, black, depressed, atheist, gay, old, white, vegan, fearful, etc. etc.

If we follow the one simple rule of life – to practice the Golden Rule to love others as much as we love ourselves, then there is nothing else under the sun about ourselves of which we should not be proud.  No matter what is true about us – as long as we do no harm to others – we are good and unique people.  And in that distinct individuality of wounds and triumphs, of fears and joys, lies the rare beauty, the uncut gem, that must not be hidden.  Baby, you were born that way…

Theodore Geisel – or Dr. Seuss to most people – once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  Added to such wisdom is William Shakespeare’s admonition in his play Hamlet, “This above all: to thine own self be true.”  Our goal, therefore, must be one of living our truth both to others and to ourselves.  In doing so, we fulfill Jesus’ words that truth will set us free.  We are liberated from the prisons of shame, fear and guilt.

Authenticity then lies in the attempt by any of us to outwardly live according to our inner being.  It involves refusing to conform to cultural, familial or religious standards and traditions that seek to define us.  To live any other way creates a dissonance and confusion in our minds and in our relationships.  Race relations in our nation have long been inauthentic precisely because persons are judged by outward appearances alone.  Sexism, religious intolerance and classism often take the same approach.  Instead of reaching for the spiritual ideal of loving fellow humans as we too wish to be loved and treated, we create false standards and stereotypes about others.  We marginalize and demean in order to somehow elevate ourselves.  Black pride, feminism and gay pride are all manifestations of the same desire to express authenticity – people who claim, own and assert their true selves against the prevailing prejudices, assumptions and false beliefs of others.  Henry David Thoreau remarked long ago that we are all constantly invited to to be who we are.  In that regard, equality efforts and Pride festivals around the country are efforts to fulfill such an invitation.  Individually and communally, we are asked to be real with one another.  No prejudice.  No intolerance.  It is the content of one’s character, not the color of one’s skin, the faith in one’s heart, the love of one’s life or the hidden pain one feels that determines the measure of a life.  If that is indeed so, honesty and integrity calls us to liberate ourselves from the judgements of others and live in truth.  Personal and communal integrity also calls us to honor and care for the truth in other lives.

As I have discussed here on several occasions, I led a life for far too many years that masked parts of my true self as a gay man.  During those years I hurt others as much as I hurt myself.  In my fears, my self-hatred, my inner denials, my hopes to be “normal” and my acceptance of what religion and society told me they believe is wrong, I was alienated from reality.  I was alienated from me.

And when I finally chose to try to be authentic, to live in accord not with what the outside world told me I should be but with who I was born to be, I embarked on a journey of truth and freedom and peace.  As I have mentioned before, I recall the shaking fear I had when I first came out to my eighteen year old daughter Amy.  In one fell swoop I knew the constructs of her life and our relationship might be broken.  And yet, as one whom I love so very much and for whom I would willingly give my life, I knew I had to be honest.  And in that moment that I first told her, Dr. Seuss’ quote was fulfilled.  Someone who matters most in my life did not mind my truth.  As I sat facing her, unsure of her reaction, she simply put her arms around me and so full of youthful grace, said to me, “Daddy.  It’s OK.  I love you no matter what.”  In that moment, as I have said, I as a parent was loved unconditionally by my child in the same way so many children yearn to feel loved unconditionally by their parents.

In that beautiful moment of authenticity with my daughter and with many other times I have had since then, I’ve found the freedom that we all seek.  As much as we are able to reveal the truth of ourselves – the weaknesses, fears and doubts all of us have, the more peace and contentment we will find.  Contrary to the fear and shame we may feel about ourselves, taking our masks off allows the world to see the genuine beauty in us.  Perfection or normalcy is often an illusion created in our dreams.  Beauty, instead, lies in truth.  Beauty is the wounded and depressed one who is not afraid to say so, the gay kid who lives an open life, the alcoholic who confesses and seeks help, the nerd, physically challenged or outcast in us all who claims a certain pride at being different.  Each one is a work of art, a person to behold and cherish and admire.  Baby you were born this way…

Who we are as people – the essence of our souls, personalities and attitudes, are amalgamations of genetics and the influences of our environments.  While we can often change the actions we undertake in life, it is impossible to substantially alter our innate personalities and identities.  Even further, most psychologists, including those of the American Psychiatric Association believe that one’s sexual identity is fixed and not subject to change.  There have been many studies undertaken to determine the cause of human sexuality – is it a trait with genetic origins, pre-natal origins or simply the result of how we are raised along with other environmental factors?  While no study is conclusive, research has shown higher numbers of gays within extended families – pointing to a possible genetic influence.  Research also shows a higher incidence of gay brothers and gay twins thus indicating genetic influence.  Other research points to the influence of maternal hormones during pregnancy as possibly influencing the development of the infant brain and sexuality.  While other psychologists point to life environmental factors as the cause – like how we are raised as children – the weight of anecdotal evidence shows that most gays and lesbians believe they were so from very, very early ages.

Presently, there is no conclusive evidence.  However, a 2005 genome study released by the University of Illinois Department of Psychiatry perhaps best states the reality.  It said: “There is no one ‘gay’ gene. Sexual orientation is a complex trait, so it’s not surprising that we found several DNA regions involved in its expression.  Our best guess is that multiple genes, potentially interacting with environmental influences, explain differences in sexual orientation.  We believe genes play an important role in determining whether a person is gay or heterosexual.”  For all intents and purposes, many scientists, researchers, and therapists affirm Lady Gaga and her song lyrics, baby you were born this way…

My appeal to all of us today is to stay focused on what really matters.  Ultimately gay pride, today’s festival and parade are about celebrating authentic lives for an entire class of people who have been historically denied that right.  More importantly, pride speaks to any of us – gay or straight – about living openly and truthfully as well as accepting all people in their honest and open lives.  Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher, said that “a life unexamined, is a life not worth living.”

And so we must ponder the depths of our souls.  We must be willing to confess and admit our flaws as much as we celebrate our strengths.  We must embrace our differences from what culture might tell us is normal –  in our appearance, our beliefs, and our spirituality.  To the conservative in the midst of a progressive congregation like ours, the call is to celebrate who you are and come out.  To the one worn down by the weight of life, come out and share your burdens.  To the atheist or agnostic in our predominantly Christian culture, celebrate your beliefs openly.  For each of us, be genuine and be real.  Such widespread authenticity will reduce bigotry and challenge the culture to embrace diversity and tolerance.

I hope this ethic of pride in who we are is one we will continue to embrace and practice here at the Gathering.  One of the marketing slogans we will use promotes the fact that we are a diverse and colorful group – a congregation comprised of so many different people.  While we claim a certain progressive theology, that does not speak of our different politics, lifestyles, backgrounds, or even faith.  When I describe this congregation to others, some are shocked that Buddhists and atheists attend and are welcomed at a church that claims to be Christian.  We may be a United Church of Christ congregation but that denomination is also unsure of who and what we are.  All of this speaks to our proud and unique identity but even in that, we are far from perfect.  In any of us lies the hidden secrets we do not reveal, the private pain we believe we should suffer alone, and the beliefs we hold private.

Our celebration today should remind us, then, that pride begins within ourselves.  We must have confidence in who we are.  And our pride must be informed by self-awareness and honest self-examination – to clearly see our strengths and our weaknesses.  In those dark hours alone at night, can we be real with ourselves or do the masks we wear confuse even us?  Coming out of our closets is a process we must ALL undertake.

We must also remain aware of our self-talk – the voice of positive and negative thoughts we speak to ourselves.  How can we have pride in who we are if inner voices tell us we are weak or sinful or hopeless?  We should expose ourselves to inspiration from multiple sources – music, art, drama and spirituality.  How many other opinions and thoughts can we be exposed to?  Finally, we must undertake to practice the ideal often repeated here – life is not just about ourselves, we must serve others.  Pride is not about the self – it is about being authentic and true to the goodness within each person.  If we are truly authentic people, we will have a love, care and concern for the least of God’s children – the poor, homeless, disabled, and marginalized.  It is not enough to have Black pride or gay pride.  We must have pride – i.e. concern for – the condition of all humanity.

Forgive me if this message has figuratively rained on your parade.  Pride is a legitimate emotion for those who have been hurt, marginalized and hated and today is rightfully a happy one.  But pride is truly about authenticity.  We celebrate the authentic and honorable lives of the GLBT community – many of you and myself included.  But this pride, as I have said, is nothing unless it is grounded in authentic lives across the board.  Who am I when nobody is looking?  Who are you?  To thine own self be true – because, once again, baby you are not a mistake.  You were born this way…

© Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, UCC, All Rights Reserved

Service-Program, 07-03-11

Music Video: “Light of a Clear Blue Morning”

With all due respects to Dolly Parton and her positive outlook, it is said that an optimist is one who, as he or she is falling from the Empire State Building, says to himself or herself at the 50th floor down, “Hey, so far, so good!”

And in that joke lies the inherent problem with optimism.  If our lives might be compared to a fall from the Empire State Building, all is relatively good for a time – with beautiful views, cool breezes and lots of exhilaration, but the end will still be the same – a swift and final end.  Is it unrealistic and simplistic to enjoy the fall – and our lives – while it lasts?   And what of other life problems that confront us?  Should we be perpetual optimists who choose to see only the good in life?  Are we gloom and doom naysayers who imagine evil and misfortune around every corner?  Or is there some place in between?

During the upcoming month, I’ve chosen three songs that might inspire as well as entertain us.  Music is like any great art form, it is capable of stirring our souls, pricking our emotional hearts and promoting introspective thought.  I hope the same will be true with the songs I have chosen – “Light of a Clear Blue Morning” as we just heard, Lada Gaga’s “Born This Way” for next Sunday and the TV show Glee’s recent anthem, “Loser Like Me.”

“Born This Way” is an immensely popular contemporary song  by the current pop superstar Lady Gaga.  The song has an upbeat and fun beat while conveying a positive message of self-acceptance.  I hope it will inspire us with thoughts and emotions next Sunday which is also Gay and Lesbian Pride Sunday here in Cincinnati.  Finally, in two weeks, the contemporary song “Loser Like Me” will speak to us of tolerance, strength, and confidence in a world of bullying, teen suicide, and discrimination.  It is an anthem of hope for the outcast and misfit in us all.

So!  Lets make July a month of dancing in the aisles here at the Gathering – or just snapping your fingers to the beat while you remain seated.  Church can be thought provoking and fun all at the same time!

On this eve of the Fourth of July, most Americans share similar thoughts – we’re happy for a long weekend, hopeful for nice weather to enjoy a picnic and also reflective on our nation’s founding.  It is a time of some unity and common purpose in our celebrations – who can feel bad about a birthday party for our nation?  This day of all days should unite us and fill us with good feelings.

And yet, it is apparent to almost everyone that our nation faces many significant challenges.  We are engaged in three wars, our economy is barely emerging from a severe recession, millions are out of work, our national debt is at record levels and leaders are still fighting over whether we will default on our financial obligations.  It might seem that July 4th feelings notwithstanding, there are many ominous dark clouds on the horizon.

What Dolly Parton’s song seems to say, however, is that our attitudes should not reflect such depressing facts about the state of the Union.  Our strength, resilience and positive outlooks will see us through the current times.  Everything is gonna be alright, everything is gonna be OK – as she sings in the song.  Is this just whistling in the dark?  Why shouldn’t we be profoundly depressed about where our nation seems headed?

In personal matters, why shouldn’t we be upset about our finances, our health, our loneliness, our fears, our silent battles with loved ones and with our own worst attitudes?  Life is pretty crappy a lot of the time and for our nation, on its birthday, pretty much of everything seems to be going down the toilet.  Some chirpy song by a well-endowed country singer cannot change any of those facts.  As Norm, on the old TV show “Cheers” once said, “Life is a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear!”

But is that an attitude we should embrace?  Many psychologists and therapists believe that one’s attitude – whether positive or negative – profoundly affects not only our demeanor but our actual physical health, mental well-being and even success in life.  Statistics show that those who face severe health crises, like cancer, with positive and optimistic outlooks, end up healing faster and doing better.  Their quality of life is improved because they refuse to live in gloom.  Research also shows that successful people in life are usuallly optimists precisely because they do not fear or run away from obstacles.  Instead of imagining failure, they dream of success.  They start a business, meet new friends, or move to a new city all with the idea that, like Dolly sang, everything will be OK.  Success thus becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  These people have learned the art of changing the internal dialogue in their minds from that of defeat and despair to thoughts of hope and success.

Contrasted against all of the positive ideas about positive thinking is the understandable notion that optimism is often grounded in myth, falsehoods and naivete.  The great French philosopher and writer Voltaire, writing in his fictional work entitled Candide, poked hundreds of holes in the power of optimism.  Characters in the novel face unrelenting human misery, suffering and evil all while trying to live up to an absurd and comical form of positive thinking.  Pangloss, the philosopher character whom Voltaire satirically used to mock theories of optimism, contends that everything in the world has a good and perfect purpose.  Earthquakes, war, disease, and injustice all serve some greater good according to this character.  Such thinking emerges directly from the Christian Biblical quote by Paul which states that “all things work together for good to those who love God.”

According to prevailing thinking in Voltaire’s day and, as it exists in many religious circles today, no calamity is without a good purpose because a loving God would have it no other way.  Voltaire mockingly has Pangloss say this about the disease of syphilis, which was brought back to Europe from the New World, “It was a thing unavoidable, a necessary ingredient in the best of worlds; for if Columbus had not caught in an island in America this disease, which frequently impedes propagation itself, and is evidently opposed to the great end of nature, we should not have had chocolate.” In other words, syphilis is actually a good thing because, even though it inhibits reproduction, without it, Europeans would not have chocolate – another New World import!

Voltaire brutally mocked religion and Christianity and their pious platitudes encouraging optimism in the face of human misery.  Such religious speech echoes today with the well-meaning but ultimately ridiculous words of some who say, in the face of tragedy, that God works in mysterious ways and who are we to question his motives?  The starvation deaths of little children are somehow OK because a  loving God is in charge.  He will use such deaths, this theology goes, for greater good – like bringing those children to heaven even sooner than normal.

Such thinking is found in the belief that what we have on earth now is as good as we can expect.  Since God created all things, they must be good.  Further, despite our hardships, we can endure them because, if we love and trust God, we will live forever in heaven.  That same fundamentalist ethos is taught to young Muslims who, in the face of little life opportunity, choose the option of a suicide bombing death accompanied by the supposed reward of  70 virgins in Paradise.  Don’t complain.  Be positive.  Your life here and now might be miserable but paradise awaits!

In Voltaire’s time, the Church and many Kings and Queens used such a philosophy to quiet the discontent of their populations living in grinding poverty.  It is used today to encourage the sick, confused or emotionally wounded to have faith, trust and hope for a clear blue morning in heaven.  Even some evolutionary scientists contend that the natural realm is the best we can expect because that is what evolution brought us.  Evil and suffering are simply facts of life.  We can do nothing about it.

The Fourth of July, however, should tell us the exact opposite.  For Americans and, indeed, for many around the world, our revolution 235 years ago represents the idea that humanity can cooperate and work together to bring about a better way.  The Founding Fathers refused to accept the Divine Right of Kings and that such an unjust system was ordained by a loving God.  The human condition could be made better when humanity is given the freedom and rights to pursue their own course in life.

Albert Schweitzer, the great philosopher and explorer of the 20th century said, “An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight… The truly wise person is color-blind.” And Louisa May Alcott, the noted American novelist, said on the subject, “I’m not afraid of storms for I am learning to sail my own ship.” Both persons speak to a higher form of optimism which is not blindly positive with no rational basis for such thinking.  Instead, the ideal is to be optimistic based on confidence and reason and intelligence.  A successful entrepreneur likely sets out to start a new business aware of the many pitfalls that could result.  He or she takes steps to prevent them and has the confidence that everything possible will be done in order to succeed.  One learns to sail ones own ship – as Alcott said – thus relying on an inner determination and ability that all will be OK.   This is not naive and blind optimism.  It is based on reason, courage and intelligence.

Such a form of optimism fights cancer, for example, not with pious acceptance or false hope but with knowledge combined with positive thinking – what treatments have the best chance of success?  How should I care for myself so that I can heal?  What foods should I eat that promote healing?  What doctors and hospitals are best?  How can my friends and family surround me with joy and love during the treatment?  If I refuse to allow myself to wallow in self-pity and depression, I will make informed and positive life choices that will thereby help me succeed.   My optimism will be rewarded by better physical and emotional health because such rational optimism allows for clear thinking and reason based decisions.  Pessimism and negativity, on the other hand, sponsor impulsive decisions.  This thinking creates a vicious cycle because pessimism helps to cause negative outcomes which in turn creates even more pessimism.

Dear friends, my appeal here today for you and for me is to find in Dolly Parton’s song the seeds of a better outlook for ourselves and our nation.  I mentioned two weeks ago my struggle with some recent depression and I know it is caused by my failure to employ a form of reason based optimism.  I will get through the issue I face if I muster some courage, some reasonable planning, greater communication and use the love of friends and family.  Why should I get stuck in feeling so sorry for myself?

And the same must hold true for our nation in the days, weeks and months ahead.  Reason tells us that solutions to our problems are possible and that as Americans we have the ability to find them.  Optimism must bring us to the same demeanor our nation will have on the Fourth of July – one of unity and common sense of purpose.

“Light of a Clear Blue Morning” was played extensively immediately after September 11th, 2001.  Many of us remember at that time the sea of American flags we saw all over the nation – most displayed not as some nationalistic thumping of our chests but as an affirmation of American unity.  We were all attacked, we all suffered and we would all get through the difficulties together.

Such sentiments are sorely needed today.  Our leaders and representatives ought to listen to their better angels and seek resolution, peace and dialogue with each other.  Clearly we are a politically divided nation with passionate views on both sides of the ideological divide.  But our goals are the same – the advancement of the human condition in our nation and around the world.

Our approach, then, must be a humble one – none of us can claim absolute knowledge of what policies or budgets or laws are best.  We each have valid and intelligent ideas but we each must be open to accepting the best of what the other side offers.  Only by coming together to find common ground in solving our problems – not demanding our way or the highway – will we be be able to solve the pressing problems we face.  Only by humbly accepting that those with whom we disagree are also wise can we achieve a national consensus.  Is our goal to be right or to find a solution that works for everyone?  Contrary to what Barry Goldwater said over forty years ago, extremism is a vice.  Compromise by liberals and conservatives, for the sake of cooperation and unity is, I strongly believe, a virtue.

In times of great crisis and stress, our nation has always rallied to the call of national unity.  We see it each time major disasters happen in our nation – whether it be a great depression, a world war, a terrorist attack or the assassination of a political leader.  We have the moral imagination to work together cooperatively.

That is the spiritual essence of optimism: a core belief in the basic goodness of humanity.  It does not naively believe that people will never commit evil acts or that human judgement is always right but it assumes that most people are motivated to work for the betterment of the human condition.  Pessimism assumes the opposite idea that humanity is sinful with evil motivations.  As individuals and as a nation, if we wish to solve the problems that bedevil us, we must accept the proposition that as liberals, conservatives or moderates – we all want what is good for our nation and the world.

This commonality of motivation will invite empathy and understanding.  As a progressive person, I can still understand a conservative wants the same outcomes as me.  Let us sit down then, talk in peace, and hear the words, frustrations, fears and dreams of the other.  Let us walk in each other’s shoes for a time.  In doing so, we will begin to see the light of a clear blue morning – a national dawn of problem solving instead of a dark night of bitter division.   As individuals, as a church, as a community and as a nation, we have so much for which to be optimistic.  May we go forth with the will, the means, the love and the intelligence to usher in a wondrous world of good for ourselves and all creation…

I wish you all the light of clear blue morning!