Author: Doug Slagle

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

My message series theme this month is one I’ve entitled  “A Very Dickens Holiday”.  Last Sunday, today and then again next Saturday at our Candlelight Christmas Eve / Hanukah service, I examine relevant holiday ideas from Charles Dickens’ novels – and particularly his most famous one, A Christmas Carol.

As you know, most of that novel describes its main character’s night-long journey, led by three ghosts, to view his past, present and future.  Near the end of the novel, this character Scrooge encounters the ghost of the future which Dickens describes this way:

The Phantom slowly, gravely, silently approached.  When it came near him, Scrooge bent down upon his knee; for in the very air through which this Spirit moved it seemed to scatter gloom and mystery.  It was shrouded in a deep black garment, which concealed its head, its face, its form, and left nothing of it visible save one outstretched hand…It thrilled Scrooge with a vague uncertain horror, to know that behind the mask there were eyes staring at him.

And thus began Scrooge’s final journey into his bitter and hateful soul.  This ghost first shows him a vision of three businessmen who make light of the death of a colleague – someone few people liked.  They joke that it will be a very cheap funeral since nobody will attend.

Scrooge is then taken to an apartment where he watches as three people wantonly pillage the material items of a deceased man they knew.

Next the ghost shows Scrooge a shrouded corpse and tries to reveal the body.  Scrooge begs the ghost to stop.  He asks the ghost to instead show him someone who feels any emotion over the man’s death.  He’s then shown a husband and wife as they happily talk about a man’s death.  They owed the man money and now that debt will be forgotten.

Scrooge begs to be shown some tenderness associated with death and the ghost brings him to the home of Bob Cratchit and his family as they tearfully lament the passing of their physically challenged son Tiny Tim.  Scrooge is deeply moved but the ghost is not finished.  The ghost, as its last act, takes Scrooge to a rundown graveyard and moves to a distant corner where a moldy gravestone sits with the name Ebenezer Scrooge upon it.

Scrooge realizes he is the one the previous people spoke.  He begs the ghost to erase his name from the tombstone and says to it,  “Good Spirit…Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me, by an altered life!”

The very next moment Scrooge is back in his bedroom.  He hurries across his dark room to throw open the window shutters and exults as streams of sunlight pour upon him.  Scrooge celebrates his change of heart.

I briefly described in my message last Sunday the unhappy childhood of Charles Dickens.  He was born to a large family and his father was a low paid clerk.  Young Charles attended a school for poor youth until the age of twelve when he was forced to quit and work ten hours a day in a factory to help pay family debt.  His father was irresponsible with money.  He and his family were thus locked up in debtor’s prison. 

When Dickens’ father was released after a year, his mother demanded Charles remain at work and continue supporting the family.  Her insensitivity wounded Dickens but he was eventually able to persuade his parents to allow him to attend a charity boarding school.  That experience, however, was equally unhappy.  At school, Charles was beaten and ignored.  He felt the sting of being unloved and unwanted by his parents.  At the age of fifteen, he went to work as an office boy where he advanced, became a journalist, and began a career as a writer. 

The pain of feeling abused and unloved as a child had a strong impact on Dickens.  At the age of 27 he published one of his most successful novels – Oliver Twist – about the life of an orphan forced to live on the streets of London slums.  Dickens focused many of his novels on the challenges of poverty and particularly on how it affects children.  Many of his characters, like Oliver Twist, David Copperfield or young Pip in the book Great Expectations, overcome childhood poverty through hard work and the kindness of strangers.  The sad trajectory of their lives is changed – by their own doing – and by the charity of others.

Such stories of change interested Dickens.  He not only condemned society for its cruel treatment of children, he championed persons like himself who transform themselves into happy and caring citizens.  As he once said about his childhood, “I know I do not exaggerate, unconsciously and unintentionally, the scantiness of my resources and the difficulty of my life… I know that… I might easily have been, for any care that was taken of me, a little robber or a vagabond.”

As I discussed last week, Dickens became a Unitarian.  He joined London’s Essex Chapel after touring the U.S. – where he was as popular as in England.  While in the US, he heard sermons by William Ellery Channing, the founder of Unitarianism.  He was intrigued with the idea that God and Christ are not agents of change in the world.  To rely on faith in unproven miracles, he believed, is a misplaced hope.  He was instead drawn to Unitarian beliefs that people must be the world’s real change agents.

Dickens admired the teachings of Jesus and they formed his spirituality.  The only worthy religion for him is one that teaches its members to always do good for others.  In order to accomplish that, one must first change oneself.  The essence of Jesus’ teaching, and that of Unitarianism, is that people undertake journeys of personal change in order to then transform the world.  Dickens implied that such transformation in himself – from an unhappy youth to contented adulthood – is what helped him succeed.

We read in A Christmas Carol the same kind of transformation in Ebenezer Scrooge.  Much like Dickens, Scrooge is described as being neglected as a boy.  During a visit to his past, we see a young Scrooge who is disliked by other children.  That continues at his boarding school where, one Christmas, he is all alone.  The other boys had gone home, or had been invited to join others.  The adult Scrooge, seeing this vision of his past, weeps for a lonely and sad child – himself.

Next we see Scrooge as a young man who is working for a benevolent boss named Fezziwig.  Scrooge thrives in this employment and finds, for the first time, fulfillment.  That is enlarged when he meets Belle, a woman with whom he falls in love.  Belle, however, eventually rejects Scrooge and chooses to marry another man.  Why?  She tells Scrooge that he had replaced his affections for her with love for work and money.

A somewhat similar story of unhappy youth is found with Jesus.  Dickens appreciated that fact and was inspired by it.  Jesus was born poor.  It’s likely he was conceived out of wedlock – a scandalous rumor that persisted after his death.  Many scholars believe the Christmas story of Jesus’ virgin birth was invented by later writers who not only wanted to make him the son of God, but who also wanted to erase the stigma of his illegitimacy.  Scholars surmise that his mother Mary, as a young 15 year old, was raped and impregnated by a Roman soldier – a common occurrence of the time.

Jesus was an ordinary laborer as an adult.  He lived in the backward village of Nazareth – a fact his opponents used to scorn him.  Jesus was so poor that he did not own a home and lived entirely off the support of his followers.

The circumstances of his life and the compassion of his teachings affected Charles Dickens just as they have affected millions of others.  Jesus the man, NOT the religious and mythological Christ figure, is one of history’s most influential persons.

To be good, Dickens realized, is not to piously pray, attend church and obey obscure religious rules.  To be good is to be peaceful, humble and compassionate.  To be good is to treat and love other people as much as one wants to be treated and loved oneself  – by following the so-called Golden Rule.

But in order to achieve such goodness, Dickens believed individuals and society must change their self focused impulses.  That does not mean one rejects having basic needs met – or that one should deny pleasure.  Indeed, Jesus is described as a man who loved wine, parties and the company of unmarried women.   Likewise Charles Dickens, as an adult Unitarian, was known by the nickname “Master of Revelry.”  His novels, including A Christmas Carol, are full of people enjoying friends, food, drink and love.

The key to goodness is to make obtaining such joys a secondary focus.  My world must not primarily revolve around my desires and a search for their indulgence.  Instead, my life must find its meaning and purpose through service, compassion and making a difference for good.  To do that, I must change.

This process is one we undertake until the day we die.  We must continually grow, self-actualize, learn and be better.  And there is only one purpose for such ongoing transformation.  By understanding that life is an opportunity, and a responsibility, to make things better for others, we thereby build legacies of good on top of past legacies of good.

When we find this true purpose for living, as Scrooge does during his Christmas Eve visions, we see all the ways we fall short and can yet grow.  We perceive the emotional scars we carry from our past, how they hold us back, and then work to heal them.  Anger and bitterness shut off my capacity to love.  A lack of self esteem prevents my talents from being useful to the world.  Arrogance and narcissism leads me to serve only my needs.  A lack of empathy for those who suffer leads me to indifference and cruelty.    

I often quote Mahatma Gandhi that WE must BE the change we want to SEE.  Sadly, the reverse of that is also true.  Failing to heal our inner wounds causes us to be a source of the world’s pain.   We think our personal failures don’t have an impact, but our individual anger, arrogance, inability to forgive, love or show empathy all add to the violence and oppression we see.  It is a sobering truth, but my flaws can be destructive to others far beyond myself. 

What Dickens keenly understood is that our world is only as good, or as bad, as what is in each of our hearts.  When we change ourselves for the better, we change the world.  When we save just one life, we save ALL humanity.

After waking from his nighttime ghostly visits, Scrooge is a different man.  He immediately orders a Christmas goose be sent to the Cratchit home.  Then he attends Christmas dinner at his nephew Fred’s home where he surprises everyone with festive humor and generous gifts.  Finally, he brings gifts to those he’s hurt and ignored.  He triples the salary of Bob Cratchit and resolves to become a second father to Tiny Tim – thus insuring he will get the healthcare he needs.  At the novel’s conclusion, Scrooge is said to be faithful to his word.  He transforms his miserable life into one of happiness – not because he hoards more wealth, but because he gives it, and himself, away. The central message of A Christmas Carol becomes clear: it is never too late to change for the better.

In three weeks, we’ll begin our congregation wide reading and discussion of Ta-Nehisi Coates’ book Between the World and Me.  I hope you will get the book and read it.  In his bleak assessment of our nation, Coates sees little hope for ending racism unless those of us who think we are white fundamentally change our thinking.  Implicitly, he speaks of the kind of change needed in Whites that Scrooge underwent.  Those who think they are white, he says, must confront our nation’s brutal past to see that the very idea of different races is a construct built to oppress one group, while allowing another to prosper. 

       The inner journey that Scrooge takes is one I hope we will take by reading the Coates’ book.  The Holidays call me, just as I hope they call you, to build peace in our nation.  If we ever hope to achieve that, we must extinguish racism along with all other forms of intolerance and hate.  The power of change, if we listen to it, will enable us to throw open the shutters to our hearts and souls.  Every time we do that, every time we extend ourselves beyond what we’ve mistakenly done in the past, we improve life for everyone. 

       The prompts of holiday cheer DO lead to softer hearts, but Dickens reminds us that change, in order to be true, must permanently turn a person 180 degrees from where they once were.  As enlightened as I pray I might be, I am nowhere near complete.  On matters of race, a mind at peace, or a fully generous attitude – these are areas in which I must grow.  I trust each of you have ways to change as well.  For us, let’s remember holiday values of peace, goodwill to all, and giving to others – .and use them to examine our own hearts and minds.  Where lurks the inner Scrooge in us?  Like him, may we become, may we change to be, the kind of people we were all meant to be.

       To you and yours, I wish you peace and joy for the holidays, and new year ahead.

                       

   

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Many of you know that the famous author Charles Dickens was a Unitarian.   Like many people, he was conflicted about his faith and even once quit his Unitarian church and returned to Christianity.  He eventually came back and led the remainder of his life a strong supporter of Unitarianism.

One of the primary spiritual issues that concerned Dickens was the problem of suffering in the world.  Not only did he wrestle with the question of why a loving God – or universal force for good – allows pain, poverty and disease, he was equally interested with the role of religion and society in doing something about them.  Ultimately, his concern was whether good triumphs over evil.  Will some kind of blessing, or silver lining, or good overcome the effects of suffering?  For the purposes of my message title today, will light conquer darkness?

Philosophers, writers and ministers have thought about this question for centuries.  Dickens was no different.  But he had a particular interest in the subject because of traumas he experienced as a boy.  At the age of twelve, Dickens was forced to work for ten hours a day, six days a week, in a shoe polish factory.  He was sentenced to that work in order to help pay back family debt.  His father owed the equivalent of $4000, he could not pay it back, and so off to debtor’s prison he and his family went – with Charles sentenced to work in a factory.

Not only was this deeply humiliating to a young boy, it was a harrowing experience working in a dangerous factory full of adults.  Even worse, his family was sent to the infamous London debtor’s prison Marshalsea – an overcrowded, filthy and violent prison.  For his entire life, Dickens had a deep fear of poverty and an equally deep concern for the poor and marginalized.  In his mind, poverty and ill treatment of the poor were the worst forms of suffering.  Not only were the poor literally locked away – many debtors of his time were imprisoned for twenty years or more – they were also locked into an economic system that perpetuated poverty through lack of opportunity, no access to education, and poor healthcare.

Dickens filled his novels with characters trapped in poverty.  Several of his books included characters locked away in debtors prisons.  Luckily for him and his family, his father received a small inheritance after a year in prison and they were freed.  But Dickens was not freed from his nightmares, nor from a visceral anger at religion and society that were indifferent to the horrors of being poor, particularly those faced by young children.

Implicit in all of his novels was the spiritual question I posed earlier.  What is to be done about such suffering?  How can any God or religion allow poverty?  Is there any hope in a world where literally everyone suffers at some point in life?  Is there any hope in a world where millions cruelly suffer in poverty because others simply do not care, or turn a blind eye to it?  Will good defeat evil?

Dickens found an answer in Unitarianism.  Neither God nor his mythic martyr son – Christ – are the answers.  We are.   

My message theme this month is “A Very Dickens Holiday”.  I want to examine Charles Dickens’ perspective on three themes from many of his novels and, in particular, from his most famous one, A Christmas Carol.  Today, I consider the topic, does light conquer darkness?  Next Sunday, I’ll look at the power of change.  And, at our Candlelight Christmas Eve service, I’ll discuss the timeless wisdom of children.

For Dickens, the teachings of Jesus are one answer to darkness and suffering in the world.  Indeed, for Dickens, honoring the ethics of Jesus solved the problem of celebrating Christmas for those who do not believe in Biblical miracles – Jesus’ virgin birth or his return from the dead.  Christmas need not be a holiday celebrating his supernatural birth, but rather a joyous time to remember his teachings and the way he led his life.   

In a book Dickens wrote for his children entitled The Life of Our Lord, he explained his spirituality.  Religion, for him, is about always doing good for others.  In this way, Jesus was a model human to emulate.  In order to address the darkness of suffering, Dickens said we should, like Jesus, accept and befriend all outcasts – the prostitute, homeless, criminal, immigrants or others.  We must care for the poor and love the unloved.

Dickens said that he trusted no church, temple or mosque that does not purposefully serve such people.  In his mind, the only true religion is one that inspires its members to improve the world.  He called his spiritual beliefs a “Carol Philosophy” – one named after his novel A Christmas Carol. 

Interestingly, Dickens wrote that novel only a few months after he became a Unitarian.  Whether or not his new church influenced the story, it’s clear that Unitarian ideals are found in the book.  God and religious themes are not in A Christmas Carol.  It’s a tale of good versus evil, but the battle Dickens describes is one fought on a human level, not a spiritual one.  Suffering is solved by by flawed people who wrestle with their attitudes of selfishness, arrogance and anger.  Change in the human heart is not prompted by belief in a mythic Savior, but in realizing that darkness and suffering are real – and that the only solution to them is the light of charity.

It might be said that Dickens ironically saw in Unitarianism exactly what Jesus taught and practiced.  Ultimately, Dickens chose to be a Unitarian because he saw it as the only form of spirituality that matched his own.  He did his best to practice his beliefs – financially supporting a home for prostitutes and homeless women, and later founding a school for street children called Ragged House – named for the rags such kids once wore.

Unitarians proudly proclaim they celebrate no creeds, only deeds.  And that’s a  theme in A Christmas Carol.  It’s not religion that heals the world, it’s kindness and love.  It’s people who embrace the light of compassion.  As Dickens once said, “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.”  It may sound trite, but human kindness is the light that illuminates the world. 

Dickens used the character Scrooge to highlight this value.  Scrooge wallows not only in his own misery, he points it out in the lives of others – telling Bob Cratchit, his abused employee, that he and his family are poor, have no prospect of success and are raising a physically challenged son who will soon die.  Why, Scrooge asks, should the Cratchits be merry during the holidays?

Dark imagery in A Christmas Carol illustrates Dickens’ view of suffering.  Scrooge’s offices are gloomy and cold.  “Darkness is cheap”, Dickens wrote, “and Scrooge liked it”.  During Christmas Eve night, Scrooge is visited by three ghosts – symbols of death.  They force him to confront the suffering of his past, present and future.  Scrooge must relive his lonely and unloved youth by revisiting the dark hallways of his boarding school.  He must visit the present day, dimly lit home in which Bob Cratchilt’s family dwells in poverty.  He witnesses their meagre holiday dinner and hears the dire prognosis for young Tiny Tim – that he will not live to see another Christmas.

Later, a ghost takes Scrooge to a dark and crude shack, inhabited by a poor coal mining family.  He later confronts a dim vision of the future – one where Tiny Tim has died, Bob Cratchit cries out with grief, and where thieves scavenge in darkness through a dead Scrooge’ s belongings.  The final image Scrooge must face, in the dead of night, is his own long forgotten grave.

For Dickens, this is not a world ruined by supernatural evil.  Nor is it one forsaken by some god.  Instead, it’s a world of pain caused by neglect, indifference, and ignorance.  It’s a world created by us.

Despite describing this very dark world, Dickens intended to write an uplifting story – one that acknowledges suffering but which contrasts it, and conquers it, with hope and light.

Indeed, the light images in A Christmas Carol are uplifting ones that influence not only Scrooge, but readers as well.  The light of caring is found in the Cratchit home – one warmed not by a small fireplace, but by family love.  It’s found at a bright holiday party where Scrooge’s nephew Fred counsels his family not to despise his uncle, but to have sympathy for him and his lonely, bitter life. 

A light of goodness, in an otherwise dark world, is seen when Scrooge visits the home of the woman Belle, whom he loved as a young man, but who chose to marry another.  While Scrooge remarks on her choice of an obviously less successful man than he, the reader nevertheless sees her contented life in a small but bright home.   Who is richer – Belle and her husband living simply, happily and in love, or Scrooge with his stingy hoard of lonely wealth?

Holiday light is found in the coal miner’s shack Scrooge visits.  Despite the family’s obvious poverty, their shack is lit by a single candle while they celebrate the holidays.  The ghost of Christmas present is not a foreboding presence, but rather one who models the right holiday spirit.  Full of mirth, he wears a crown of holly and carries a flaming torch from which drips kindness and love on all who fall within its light.  Even the physically disabled Tiny Tim is a source of light.  After wishing a blessing on his family as they sit around their fireplace, he remembers to ask a blessing for Scrooge.

On Christmas morning when Scrooge awakens in his dark apartment after a night spent seeing so much misery, he flings open the window shutters and exults as streams of sunlight pour through.  Somehow, some way, Scrooge transformed himself not just by confronting suffering, but by heeding the call to find joy through loving and serving others.  Light wins its victory!

For us, as we ponder the suffering we see in the world – or in our lives- we must resolve to be a solution.  For Unitarians, Humanists, Pagans and others who do not believe in a supernatural god or goddess, the holidays and Christmas can be celebrated because of their implicit values.  Instead of thinking the holidays have no real meaning, Dickens would encourage us to joyfully embrace them.  This is a season of light and joy precisely because it initiates in people a desire to give, serve and love.  That’s a feeling to hold and cherish now – and throughout the new year.

The unique perspective Dickens had about the holidays, and that Unitarians have as well, is that the ONLY thing to spiritually honor is the prompt of human conscience to do good and to be a loving light in the lives of others.  In the season ahead, I want to soften my heart, speak with kindness, reject darkness in myself, love my family, cherish life, and serve the poor.  That’s a holiday true to eternal values, and one Dickens would approve.  Let us strive to make a difference for good in the world.  Let us refuse to give in to the darkness we see and hear.  Let us continually shine as beacons of charity.  Ultimately, it is only by giving away our light that we will find it. 

In the holiday season ahead, I wish you abundant peace, joy…..and light. 

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

 

I’ve probably talked too much in past messages about my mom but I’m going to do so again.  My mom and dad married in 1958 and so, as a woman, my mom assumed the role of a 50’s and 60’s wife and mother.  Generally speaking, married women in those decades worked at home and devoted themselves to being housewives.  Instead of disliking that role, my mom embraced it. 

She was the consummate partner to my dad – working as a teacher to financially support him through medical school, quitting when he graduated, and then becoming an advocate and adornment for him at social functions.  She was also a hard working domestic engineer – what I like to call women or men whose career is to manage a family and home.  Mom raised three children, cooked meals, paid the bills, kept a clean and organized house and was the center of the family.  For me, she was a lioness who protected and loved me even though she knew I was different from other boys.

My mom was also quietly outgoing.  She smiled a lot and has always been unfailingly kind to friends, colleagues of my dad, and strangers she’d encounter.  People just like her natural warmth.  My sister has gently teased her about how she wears a smile as a default – not in a forced way – but genuinely.

Just before my youngest brother graduated from high school, mom must have realized she would soon not have much to do.  And so she volunteered at the Hospice of Cincinnati residence facility in Blue Ash.  She brought her abilities as a wife and mom to that role – showing kindness and a cheerful demeanor to the patients.  She particularly enjoyed meal times when she would make the rounds to sit and talk with patients, mostly about them – their work, families, travels and memories.

Several years ago, when mom’s dementia was in its early stages, she retired from Hospice after twenty-five years.  They have an award for volunteers who serve that amount of time, but they created a special one for mom – someone who’d served at least twenty-five hours a week for twenty-five years.   She’d become an institution.

This past June, when my family moved mom into a dementia care home, we were concerned she would not like it.  Instead, mom amazingly improved.  She’s happy and no longer experiences the frustrations and delusions she had before.  She’s once again in a place where she can help others and be a warm and cheerful presence.  She calls the nurses and aides “dear”, and she rarely asks for their help.  Even though she is frail and has difficulty walking, she tries to help them with their work – cleaning up after meals or assisting other patients. 

In August, the residence Director moved a 93 year old woman into my mom’s room.  And mom’s passion for being a friendly caregiver took over.  Even though this woman’s cognition and mobility is no worse than mom’s, my mother feels it’s her role to watch over and protect Mary.  My mom, despite her Alzheimer’s, is being true to what she’s always naturally been talented at doing – caring for, befriending and lifting up others.

I relate this as a way to introduce my message topic.  This month, the theme for my three messages is to have an attitude of gratitude through sharing our treasure, our time and, for today, our talent.  I believe that in order to be truly grateful, we will only appreciate the things we possess when we give them away.  I’m inspired by my mom – and others like her – who have a generosity gene.  They make me realize how far short I am in having a true attitude of gratitude.

I define talent as a natural ability or skill.  Thomas Jefferson said that talent determines a natural aristocracy.  We are not good because of class, race, wealth or ancestry.  We are special because of the talents we were born already having.  Indeed, any talents that we do have, they are gifts from nature – and not from anything we’ve done.

Pete Rose alluded to this fact when he noted that Willie Mays could throw better than him and Hank Aaron could hit more home runs.  But he, he has enthusiasm and hustle.  As Pete said, “Those are God-given talents too.”

Pete highlighted the intangible talents that people have.  We tend to think of a talent as a skill we can see or hear.  Talent, according to that notion, is an ability few others possess which brings success or wealth.  By thinking that way, however, we demean the less noticed talents like Pete’s enthusiasm or my mom’s caring cheerfulness.

Indeed, my mom confided to me that compared to my father, she had little to offer the world.  In her mind, his skill as a surgeon was far more important than her talent as a warm hearted person.  She implored me and my siblings to channel our abilities into some respected and well-paying career.

And, I tried to follow her advice.  I’ve always loved research, analysis and writing – and I have some ability in those areas.  So I channeled my ambitions in college toward going to law school, believing that profession best expressed my talents.  Instead of immediately going to law school after college, however, I spent a year working in a law firm.  I quickly discovered that a legal career was not for me.  And so I pursued what seemed the next most suitable and well paying profession for my abilities: business.  And I spent the next 18 years working in medical and hospital business administration – but I was not fulfilled.

Mostly by chance, I later got involved in church work – for many years as an active volunteer and Board member, then as a seminary student and for twelve years, up to now, as a paid minister.  The confluence of my talents and my passions finally aligned.  I found a career in my middle years through which I could express my more tangible talents of writing and analysis with my more intangible abilities to relate with people.  And I’ve never regretted it.  I’m blessed to really enjoy my work.

Experts say that is the primary way to identify one’s talent – when you have a passion and love for doing something.  Our talents are those abilities we have which we want to do.   When expressing one’s talent, a person should feel fully alive, fulfilled and passionate about it.  One should find some success at it.  A talent is something good about you that others praise you for having.

One commentator compared a person expressing his or her talent to the natural actions of animals.  Eagles typically fly between 75 and 125 miles a day.  Elephants roam approximately 50 miles a day.  Locked inside a cage, however, they cannot live according to their nature.  Set free to act and be according to how they were made, that is when an eagle or elephant is most beautiful.  And the same is true for us.  Leading a daily life where we do not practice our innate talents, we might as well be in locked cage.

Sophia Loren, the famed actress who, at 82, is still noted for her youthful beauty, once said, “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.  When you learn to tap into this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

She identified what gives us vitality and what will keep us young.  By using whatever talents we have, we will thrive.  And that touches on the spirituality of sharing talent.  To do so is not just a path to gratitude.  Sharing our unique talents is the way we define ourselves.  It’s the way we fulfill our meaning and purpose for living.  We were made to practice what is unique about us. 

My mom was made to be a person who serves others with cheerfulness.  And she’s naturally done that in every phase of her life.  Pete Rose was made to be a baseball player with a hard charging personality.  I was made with some abilities to minister.  None of us, however, should be egotistical about our talents.  They were given to us.  We simply were and are willing to use them.

And that speaks to another spiritual dimension of sharing talent.  Not only should we live out who and what we were made to be, we must use our abilities to pay forward the gifts nature provided us.  We must serve others with our talent.

In one of his well known remarks, Jesus similarly encouraged his followers.  People do not light a lamp and place it under a basket, he said.  People take a lamp and place it on a stand so that it illuminates those around it.  We must do the same with our talents.  We must fulfill the cosmic purpose for our existence. 

We can each shine our symbolic light up until the day we die.  My mom is living out that ethic.  We may not express our talents in the same way forever, but we can teach, encourage, empower, and model our talents to others all our lives.  As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.”

Psychologists encourage everyone to discover and practice their talents.  To do that, we should ask close friends to identify our one or two special abilities.   We should listen to what others praise about us.  We should be willing to try new things.  We should ponder what comes naturally to us and what we love to do.  We should make a list of the ten tangible and intangible good qualities about us – for example, “I’m good at organizing things”, “I give good advice”, “I enjoy hosting and entertaining”, or “I like to help people.”

One should take classes in an area of interest and ability.  One should volunteer in a role that uses a talent.  Above all, one should disconnect from using a talent only in ways that bring money or attention.  We must let go of doing what we think is best, and instead do that which gives us honest joy.  When we do that, we will have tapped into our inner desire to serve, love and thrive..

If we fail to discover and express our individual talents, we have  essentially stolen from the universe the gift of us.  This gift of you is like a sacred trust.  We’re endowed by nature with talent and with that comes the expectation we will use it.  When we don’t, we waste the resources of food, air, water and shelter we consume to survive.   An eagle that does not fly, an elephant that does not roam, a baseball player that does not play ball, a minister that does not serve or inspire, a doctor that does not compassionately heal, a caregiver that does not care – these are terrible, terrible tragedies.

Dear friends, my message series this month has asked us to adopt an attitude of gratitude by sharing ourselves and the things we value most – our treasure, time and talent.  With all sincerity, I ask you to honestly think about ways your heart calls you to generously share these 3 things. 

Too often we believe that when we share, we give something away.  The irony is that when we give, we in fact receive.  MJ Pierson recently reminded me that this congregation will only continue to grow in size of heart and numbers if it focuses not on its scarcity, but instead on its abundance.  The same is true for our attitudes of gratitude.  Our lives are not defined by hoarding.  Our lives are given lasting meaning by what we give.  Only by liberally sharing our treasure, time and talent will we understand how very blessed we are.          

And I wish you each much peace and joy – and a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Introduce Brad Barron and third Sunday every month Social Justice Spark when we highlight a cause or organization we support.  All cash offerings today will go to the organization and cause Brad will now speak about.

  

   

     

 

 

 

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

There is a well known anonymous quote about the value of time.  Perhaps you have heard it.  “To realize the value of a year’s worth of time, ask a student who has just failed a final exam.  To realize the value of one month, ask a mother who just gave birth to a premature baby.  The value of one hour can be determined by asking a single mom who is paid an hourly wage.  The value of one minute might best be judged by someone who has just missed a flight or a train.  To realize the value of one second, ask a person who narrowly avoided a car accident.  And the value of a millisecond can be found by consulting the winner of an Olympic Silver medal.”

Time is a commodity with ironic qualities.  It seems infinite, and yet so very scarce.  Once spent, it is gone.  We cannot replace it.  In that regard, time has a huge value.  But, as economists point out, people often do not act that way.  Using the economic theory of marginal utility, that an item is only as valuable as its LEAST important use, our time is treated by many people as almost worthless.

Applying this theory, our least important use of time is to waste it – perhaps spending time watching some mindless TV show.   Since most of us have wasted time at some point in our lives, it would seem we value it cheaply.  We would never throw away something like gold or diamonds.  But, as my opening examples indicate, time is just like those commodities – it is scarce and precious even though we often use it poorly.

My message series this month is focused on the idea of having an attitude of gratitude.  To achieve that, I suggest three ways.  I suggested last week that sharing treasure – one’s money or material things – is one way to expand gratitude.  Next Sunday, I will examine how sharing our talent – the skills and life lessons learned – as one way to express gratitude.  Today, I consider how sharing the most valuable resource we have – time – is a way to be grateful.

I spent a major portion of my message last Sunday looking at the difference between the cost of something versus its intangible value.  The cost of things we pay for here, for instance, is a set amount.  The value of what we receive here, however, is I hope much, much higher.  If so, then my hope is we will pledge according to the added value we believe we receive.

To that end, I want to give some of my time in volunteering in the same way I give my money.  The cost of a year, a month or a minute might seem trivial but, as I pointed out earlier, they have priceless value to the student who failed an exam, the mom of a premature baby or a businesswoman who just missed a flight.

Determining the monetary cost of our time is easy.  Economists tell us to take the monthly amount of money we bring home, after taxes, and divide that by all of the of hours in a month.  Surprisingly, the average cost of one hours time for almost everyone – including executives and professionals – is depressingly less than $16.

Last Sunday, I used the example shown in a MasterCard commercial to illustrate the difference between the cost of something, compared to its value.  That commercial used the example two tickets to a baseball game, two sodas, two hot dogs and one autographed ball together costing about $200.  But having a meaningful conversation and creating lasting memories with your son or daughter at a baseball game, that is priceless.  As the commercial says, there are some things in life money CAN’T buy.

And clearly, even though the monetary cost to our time is low, the intangible value of our time is very high!

Interestingly, human understanding of time is mostly determined by a religious or non-religious view of it.  According to most world religions, time is something controlled by God.  It was made in order to organize human life.  Time, according to most religions, did not exist before God created the universe, and it will cease to exist when the universe ends at what will be an Apocalypse type finish.  Eternity will be one of peace and happiness for those in heaven, and unremitting torment for those in hell.

As we think about a religious concept of time, we must ask if it sounds reasonable.  Eternity in a place like heaven sounds wonderful, but would it really be so?  Absent sorrow, can we really understand joy?  If one’s existence is unending joy, would there be any need to work, or find meaning and purpose?  If some of the people I know are spending eternity in the fiery pit of hell, would my existence in heaven be so happy?  Indeed, doesn’t the fact that we will one day die add poignancy and value to life?  Can we really enjoy life without the contrasting fact of death?  Ultimately, don’t these questions lead one to doubt a religious understanding of God and time?

The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle had that doubt.  He believed that time has NO beginning or end.  The enlightenment philosopher John Locke believed the same, as do most modern scientists and physicists.   Time is something that can be quantified, measured and defined according to known physical properties – like radiation waves from certain atoms, or the rotation of planets around fixed stars.  Time, according to Aristotle and most scientists, does not exist outside the rational and physical laws of nature.  There is no unseen power that created it or controls it.

And this in an important point.  It supports my belief about the universe, life and theology.  God is not some outside, supernatural force that controls all things.  There is no god that will bring about a better existence.  There is no god who determines the order of our lives. I believe god is us.   It’s we who are the gods and goddesses responsible for building a better earth – for feeding the hungry, binding up the lame, healing the sick and loving family, friend and stranger.  We need look no farther than our own hearts and minds to find the god in each of us.

If that is so, then it is we who have control over the use and value of time.  For instance, we might spend an hour watching re-runs of a TV show like “Gilligan’s Island,”, or we might spend an hour reading the book Between the World and Me, by currently acclaimed author Ta-Nehisi Coates. 

We might spend an hour at a spa enjoying a face scrub and foot massage, or we might cook and serve lunch at a homeless shelter.  The economic cost of those hours of time, as I related earlier, will likely be small.  But the value of each is a different matter. 

Understanding the sting of racism, by reading the Coates book, will help empower empathy, wisdom and awareness – especially towards people of color.  Serving an hour at a homeless shelter will likewise foster compassion and empathy.   The value of hours are priceless.

These hours are invaluable because they have a multiplier effect added to them.  They pay value forward by improving the world far beyond their cost.  We can only imagine the racial reconciliation that could occur if every white person learned to empathize with the struggle of their Black, Latino or Muslim sisters and brothers.  We can only imagine how one lunch could help change the life of homeless youth. 

Last month, I sat and ate lunch with a young lady at the Sheakley Lighthouse Center who had recently learned she was several months pregnant.  She excitedly told me the dreams she had for her child – an apartment in which to live, ways she would read to him or her, and how she would make sure the child always felt loved.  It seems so small, and yet the lunch this congregation provided and served was one way to insure the health of that baby.  The monetary cost of hours given by three people to prepare her lunch and for 19 others was less than $30.  Tell me please, however, what is the value of those hours given?

Interestingly, numerous studies and experts show that the giving of time, through volunteer work, is a way to also add value to one’s own life.  Even though the motivation is to help others, volunteering benefits not just those served, but also the server.  The Wharton School of Business reports in a study of volunteers that most feel they have more free time than if they did not volunteer.  Much like people who donate money to charity feel wealthier than those who do not, volunteers find that giving away their time causes them to better value, and better manage, the rest of their time.

Numerous other studies indicate volunteers are healthier and happier than those who don’t share their time.  A 2002 study shows that persons who volunteer have half the mortality than those who don’t.  Volunteers have less heart disease, lower blood pressure, lower feelings of stress and depression, increased memory and cognition, and greater mobility.

The London School of Economics further reports that volunteers have higher levels of empathy and more social connections than do non-volunteers.  They are also happier.  Levels of self-reported contentment are 7% higher for those who volunteer once a month, 12% higher for those who volunteer bi-weekly, and 16% higher for people who serve weekly.  Study after study concludes the same result: giving away time in service to others has a double benefit – for the recipient and the giver.

I said last week that that this congregation, at least while I’m minister,  will never use guilt, shame or religious bribery to cajole you into pledging money.  We trust one another to give according to how our hearts and minds lead us.  (Nevertheless we have guards posted at the Sanctuary exit doors today to make sure you fill out Pledge form.  Not!)    

Trusting one another to pledge as they can is the same way we trust each other to give their time.   Members volunteer here not because they must, but because they know this congregation is, as we say, a beloved community.  We serve here much like we serve in our homes and families – because we love one another.

One member here who recently agreed to take on a team leadership role told me how honored and privileged it felt to be both asked and trusted for the position.  I was touched by that sincere expression.  The role this person has taken on is one that often goes unseen but is vital to our growth in numbers and our strong sense of community.   

Many volunteer roles here are similar.  They are done largely unrecognized but are so very, very important.  Volunteers here give their time in thousands of ways that insure not just the strength of this congregation, but the strength we will have to touch, serve and change for the better our city and world.

We count the dollars given here but we don’t count the hours volunteered.  If there was a bank account of hours volunteered, however, this would be a wealthy congregation.  What I ask each of us to do is examine the value of our time.  And then I ask us to consider that if we love this place, if we love one another and are grateful for the love we receive here, we will resolve to each volunteer as many valuable hours as we can.  If you want to volunteer but don’t know where, please see me, a board member or Richard Thornton.  There is always much to do for people of all ages and all abilities.

Since we are each proverbial gods and goddesses – responsible for giving, loving and serving others until the day we die – then it is the use of our most valuable asset – time – that will have a lasting impact.  Yes, we can donate our treasure.  But money and things can always be replaced.  The hours, minutes and seconds of time that we share – to tutor a child, serve a meal, act for social justice, offer an encouraging word to another, serve on a committee, or gently be a loving presence in someone else’s life – these are priceless legacies we build on the sands of time.   Let us each insure our time has value, and our hearts are filled with gratitude, by giving some time away to improve our world.

I wish you all much peace and joy!

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Most of us have seen or heard MasterCard commercials.  Their recurring tagline is: “There are some things in life money can’t buy.  For everything else, there’s MasterCard.”  This slogan has been used for almost twenty years – one of the longest advertising campaigns by any company, at any time.  It has won numerous awards.  It’s been translated into multiple languages and shown around the world.  The campaign has flourished under the leadership of four different MasterCard CEO’s.  As many analysts note, the ads takes a simple and universal truth and applies it to real life.

The first commercial in the campaign was shown during the 1997 World Series.  It showed a father and son cheering, laughing and enjoying a baseball game together.  The voice over words to that scene were short and simple.  “Two tickets: $46; two hot dogs, two popcorns, two sodas: $27; one autographed baseball: $50; real conversation with 11-year-old son: Priceless.”  And then the MasterCard logo appears on the screen with the famous tagline.  That’s all there was to it, and yet the commercial became one of the most successful ads ever.

What is profound about the commercial is that it touches on how we might think about money and material things.  As an example, the current Apple I-Phone 7 costs $225 to manufacture, advertise and sell.  But the retail price of the phone, which is never discounted, is $649.  Even for high priced products, that is a huge increase.  Allowing for a reasonable profit margin, an I-Phone should be priced around $350 to $400.  But, despite its premium price, tens of millions of people around the world buy one.

Why do people pay such a price for I-Phones?  Because most consumers believe they add tremendous value to their lives.  For me, I use my I-Phone 6 as my banker.  I’ve not set foot in a bank for years.  I deposit checks, pay bills, and manage my finances on it.  I also use it as my GPS driving guide.  I read the New York Times on it.  I watch movies on it.  I text, email and even write parts of Sunday messages on it.  It is almost invaluable to me.  I am more than willing to pay a high premium for an I-Phone.

Economists say that the goal for any organization is to maximize the value of what they provide that is well above the cost to produce it.  As consumers, we don’t judge a product on the cost of its component parts and the labor put into it.  We judge a product based on the value it does or does not provide.  The MasterCard commercial speaks to this point.  A credit card enables someone to pay for the cost of baseball tickets.  Most games are fun experiences, but they are often barely remembered two weeks later.  More importantly, however, is the idea that a credit card also enables someone to reap the increased value of a baseball game.  If it allows you to share meaningful time with someone you love – your daughter or son for example – the cost of the tickets are trivial.  You’d gladly spend thousands if they helped create valuable lifetime memories.  As Warren Buffet – who is one of the world’s most successful businessmen says, “Price is what you pay.  VALUE is what you get.”

And that frames my message theme for this month of Thanksgiving. How can sharing the three primary things we “own” in life – our treasure, our time and our talent – help us have a stronger attitude of gratitude?  Yes, we should each be grateful for these three life gifts but, more importantly, how does sharing these things help us live with an attitude of gratitude?

  Jennifer Schmahl and Dave Hester just spoke to us about the importance of today’s celebration.  Today is our annual event to share and pledge our treasure in order to insure that this place will be well funded for another year.   As we think about that, today IS a reason to celebrate!

But I also understand how some people might think their church’s pledge Sunday is not one to celebrate.  In some churches, Pledge Sunday might as well be called “Stick-up Sunday”.  In those churches, the minister and other leaders command members to part with larges sums of their hard earned money.  At one church I won’t name, on a recent pledge Sunday, the minister shouted to his congregation, “You all are going to think I’m crazy, but God says give again!  God says give everything; don’t hold anything back!”

The church band then played very upbeat music and this minister shouted, “God says run to the altar and give!”  Members surged forward and gave not just lots of money, but their expensive shoes, watches and diamond rings.

A church like that employs guilt, obligation and religious bribery to cajole people into giving.  God will withhold her blessings if you don’t give enough, they say.  She will reward you if you give a lot.

But an important question needs to be asked.  What motivates such church members to give?  Is it because they deeply want to give?  Is it because they value and are grateful for all of the things they gain from being a member?  Or, are they giving out of compulsion and a desire not to look bad in the eyes of others – or to somehow gain admission to heaven? 

Fortunately, Celebration or Pledge Sundays are not like that here.  Nor is any other Sunday.  We trust one another to give according to what our hearts and minds honestly lead us to give.  No guilt.  No judgement.  No false bribery.

But if we are to use our hearts and minds to guide us in what our annual pledge should be, I encourage us each to remember the universal truth found in the MasterCard commercial.  That advertising message speaks about our treasure – our money and material things – but it also importantly addresses the idea of gratitude for our countless priceless blessings.  Such are things money can’t buy like contentment, health, love, a life legacy, or meaning and purpose.  And, just like those rewards, so too are the blessings we receive here – the kinds of things which money makes happen but which are of intangible value.    

In that regard, perhaps we might re-frame the MasterCard commercial in a way that speaks to the Gathering at Northern Hills.  “Building maintenance and repairs: $10,000; Office supplies, internet and telephone: $7250; Sunday morning music supplies, guest speaker fees and Quimby room hospitality supplies: $6795; staff payroll and benefits: $85,000; empowering and changing lives for the better, Priceless.”

Or, regarding our charitable outreach work, a commercial might say, “Lunch food for 125 children, $256; gasoline to transport the food, supplies, and twelve volunteers, $30; cost of staff time to plan and implement the outreach, $185; cooking for, serving, loving on and eating lunch with 125 kids who have no place to call home, Priceless.”

And these are but two examples of many other MasterCard-like commercials that could be produced about us.  The cost of things provided here are substantial.  It costs a lot to heat and cool our building.  My salary and health insurance make up approximately 35% of this year’s budget.   The supplies we use in our office, the computer and copier we use to help make Sundays happen, they are not cheap.

But the most important line item in those calculations, one that is impossible to put in our budget, is the intangible value this congregation gains as a result of money spent.  What is the value of experiences you have here?  What is the value of the friends you’ve made here and the time you spend with them?  What value do you place on the feelings and experiences you gain from serving on a committee, teaching our children, managing our hospitality or volunteering with us at the Freestore, Lighthouse Center for Youth, UpSpring or Inter-Faith Hospitality Network? 

How much value do you apply to insights or ways you might be moved by a message from me or a guest speaker? How valuable to you is Michael’s music that entertains and inspires you?  How valuable are the many ways this congregation affects all of our lives – how GNH challenges us to listen to our better angels, how it prompts our compassion impulses, how it enables us to serve the least of those in our society?

I imagine the value of all of these things are priceless.  Many of them are hopefully invaluable to you.  They are things that have helped determine who you are, how you think and how you strive to be at home, work and play. 

Our budget for the current year is approximately $150,000.  It will likely be higher in 2017 and, as Dave reported, we’re losing income from no longer renting our space.  Whatever the 2017 budget is, I believe with all of my heart that all we offer and do here in a year’s time, that all we do for ourselves, our families, our children, and those who live on the margins of life – that all of these things add up to a year’s value far, far in excess of $150,000.

If that is the case, then how do we determine what to pledge according to the cost plus extra value that we receive?  The Unitarian Universalist Association has prepared a tool that helps anyone reasonably determine what to pledge based on two factors.  First: what can you or your family afford to give based on annual income?  Second: what is the value you or your family believe you get from this community?

If you will, please look at the Fair Share table that is an insert in your programs.  As you will note on the first page, if one is a “Supporter” of the Gathering at Northern Hills, that means the congregation is a significant part of his or her life.  At the next level, one is a “Sustainer” of the congregation if it is a central part of one’s life.  A person is a “Visionary” if the congregation has a unique or special importance in one’s life.  Finally, one is a “Transformer” if the he or she is fully and totally committed to the success of the congregation.

Once you determine what the Gathering at Northern Hills means to you – which is the extra value you believe you get here – it is then a matter of finding your monthly income level and pledging the Fair Share per cent of that income.   

       For example, someone who considers himself or herself to be a “Sustainer”, and who makes $50,000 annually, can see that the Fair Share table recommends a pledge of 4% of monthly income – or $160.00 per month.  That person has reasonably determined this congregation enjoys a central role in his or her life and that, most likely, he or she believes the value of its services exceeds the costs.  A “Visionary” or “Transforming” giver believes the value received greatly exceeds the budgeted costs.

The beauty of the Fair Share table is that you determine how much value you believe you get.  The Board has no idea what category you place yourself.  I don’t either.  Only our Treasurer knows who pledges what and is kept strictly confidential.  Ministers can and should speak to the importance of supporting a community like ours.  But ministers should never have access to church bank accounts nor should they know who gives, and the amounts given.  In my eyes, every member and every visitor is equal, no matter what they give.  I am able to treat everyone with the same respect and love precisely because I have no idea who pledges and the amount they pledge.

The ultimate point in this message is to remind each of us that money is a tool by which we pay for goods and services.  As a tool, however, it serves its purpose objectively, but without feeling and heart.  Money is a great tool for determining the cost of things, but it’s imperfect in determining the intangible value of things.  My encouragement to us all is that when we consider the gratitude for all that we have – family, friends, this congregation, life itself – we cannot just think of their costs.  Money can buy a house, but it cannot make a home.  Money can pay for a minister and a church building, but it cannot create a beloved and inspirational community.  If you live in a house that is also a nurturing home because of the people in it, you have a thing of priceless value.  If we are a part of a congregation that inspires and deeply cares for others, then we a part of something with priceless value.

I encourage us each to contemplate the value of this community and then use the Fair Share table to pledge accordingly.  If we do that, I believe the gratitude we have for ALL things in life will lead us to greater contentment, and a realization of the priceless wealth we possess.

And I wish you each much peace and joy.

While Michael plays some background music, let us now take a few minutes to quietly reflect on the value we receive from this community.  At the conclusion of this service, if you wish, you may drop a completed 2017 pledge sheet into the locked box at the sanctuary exit.  Thank you all!

   

Listen to Rev. M.J. Pierson’s message by clicking here:

Samhain 2016

Written by Mary Jean Pierson

INTRODUCTON (MJ Pierson)

In paganism we often honor the directions to form a circle or sphere.  It is our way of recognizing the presence and sacredness of all life and particularly the place in which we perform our ritual.  In addition to the traditional directions there are correspondences.  This is how East has come to be known as Air and yellow, North as Earth, etc.  These correspondences are not universal.  Native Americans use the directions but give different aspects and colors to each direction.

Today, for Samhain, we are going add another level of correspondence talking about the pagan understandings of aging with the many roles women and men play over the course of their life.  Our calling today will include these ages and rolls of humans as we recognize this sacred space.

EAST –YELLOW 

Spirits of the East, colors of yellow, elements of air. 

You represent the formative times of our lives; the maiden, the lad, the youth.  

Learning, discovery, play, development; these are the tasks of the young.

We call upon you eternal child, that you may witness and bless our service.

Hail and welcome!

All: Hail and Welcome!

SOUTH – RED 

Spirits of the South, colors of red, elements of fire.

You represent the productive times of our lives; the Mother, the Father, the Parent.

Creativity, productivity, passion, nurturing; these are the tasks of parenthood towards our children, our work, or the world.

We call upon you eternal parent, that you may witness and bless our service.

Hail and welcome!

All: Hail and Welcome!

WEST – WATER  

Spirits of the West, colors of blue, elements of Water.

You represent the reigning part of our lives; the Queen, the King, the Sovereign.

Mastery, competence, leadership, guiding; these are the tasks of the mature adult, the sovereign.

We call upon you eternal majesty, that you may witness and bless our service.

Hail and welcome!

All: Hail and Welcome!

NORTH – EARTH 

Spirits of the North, colors of green, elements of Earth.

You represent the ageing part of our lives; the crone, the mage, the wise one.

Instruction, knowledge, mentoring, grace; these are the tasks of the wise ones.

We call upon you wise ones, that you may witness and bless our service.

Hail and welcome!

All: Hail and Welcome!

BELOW–FIRMAMENT 

Powers Below, color of orange, element of the firmament.

You represent the warrior; warriors can be found in any age, any gender, and any situation.

Surviving, hunting, combating, seeking justice; these are the attributes of the warrior.

We call upon you warriors, that you may witness and bless our service.

Hail and welcome!

All: Hail and Welcome!

ABOVE – SKY

Powers Above, color of indigo, element of the sky

You represent the soul, the person we are before we are born and after we pass away,

Depth, immortality, faith, essence; these are the attributes of the soul.

We call upon the souls, that you may witness and bless our service.

Hail and welcome!

All: Hail and Welcome!

WITHIN – SPIRIT  

Powers Within, color of purple, element of spirit.

You represent the spirit within, that which ties us each to the other and to the universe.

Ageless, timeless, eternal, infinite; these are the attributes of spirit.

We call upon you spirit, that you may witness and bless our ritual.

Hail and welcome!

All: Hail and Welcome!

Welcoming the Goddess and God

Female (Kimberly Tenai):   “Feminine Devine, Wise Crone, this is your time to rule. Darkness and decay begins to envelope the world and death knocks upon the door. Bring to us this day your wisdom and clarity and envelope us within your love. Challenge us to look into ourselves and reflect upon what we find.  We invite you witness this day to watch over us within our circle.

Hail and welcome.”

All: Hail and Welcome

Male (Brad Baron):    “Masculine Divine, Lord of the grain, thou you leave us for a time, we know that you will soon return! While we mourn your passing we rejoice and await your return at Yule! Through your sacrifice we live and understand that death is a natural part of life. You show us that there is no true death for we shall be reborn. The wheel of life forever turns.

Beyond :  The chalice is already lit, as the symbol of all that is. It is all that is beyond our knowing; beyond male and female; it represents infinity.

Listen to guest speaker Fred Gross’ message by clicking here:

 

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to The Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

There is a story that has spread across the internet about a brothel in Nevada that sued a neighboring church.  While I can find no evidence the story is true, it’s not only amusing, it speaks to my message theme today.

It seems the brothel in question was very successful and so it decided to remodel and expand its size.  Across the street, however, was a conservative Christian church.  As the brothel began construction on its major remodeling, the church responded by starting a payer vigil.  It enlisted most of its members to hold morning and evening prayers in front of the brothel.  They prayed for God to prevent it from reopening.

Only a few days before the brothel was to celebrate its grand reopening, it was struck by lightning, caught fire and was severely damaged.  The church and its members were overjoyed.  They said the fire was a miracle and God’s answer to their prayers.

A few months later, however, the brothel owner filed a lawsuit against the church and its minister.  In the lawsuit, the owner claimed the church’s prayers to God were the direct cause of destruction to his business…..and he sought $2 million in damages.

In its legal brief answering the lawsuit, the church denied responsibility claiming its prayers were not really petitions to God, that their prayers could never cause a fire, and they even cited a Harvard University study that prayer is totally ineffective.

The judge in the case quickly summarized the case.  She wrote, “I have no idea how I will solve this unusual case where we have a brothel owner believing in the power of prayer, and a church, its minister and its members denying the power of prayer!”

The story is amusing and it highlights how many people profess beliefs but do not act according to them.   They are hypocrites.  Indeed, even though I do not think of myself as a hypocrite, when I examine all that I say and do, I find that I am.  Indeed, most psychologists claim nobody acts and speaks in ways that are completely consistent with what they believe.  In other words, we’re all hypocrites in one way or another.

As most of you know, I’ve examined in my messages this October what I call three scary Halloween masks one might wear.   Today, I look at the hypocrite mask which, as I said last Sunday, is perhaps the scariest of costumes because, when considering a hypocrite, it’s difficult to know when the person is being authentic or not.  What do the church members in my opening story really believe about prayer?  If they believe it to be real, why do they not defend it?  Shouldn’t they be willing to lose a lawsuit as a way to prove their beliefs?

But the church’s dilemma is one many people face without realizing they engage in hypocrisy.   How many of us know of a doctor who smokes?  What about a police officer who speeds when off duty?  Or a financial adviser who is broke?  Or a psychologist with significant emotional problems?

On a more personal level, what about some people’s moral value of honesty?  Does that mean they never tell a lie?  What about the value of not procrastinating?  Many people procrastinate all the time even though they believe it to be unhelpful.  While these might seem relatively minor examples, they are inconsistencies in one’s beliefs and actions.  They are examples of hypocrisies. 

Many people are hypocritical in more serious ways.  Consider the point of view that using mind altering drugs is wrong.  Experts point out that alcohol is a mind altering drug, as is caffeine and so is marijuana which many adults, truth be told, have tried.  I, for one, am guilty on that score.  If we believe recreational drug use is wrong, then why do many people use recreational drugs like alcohol, nicotine, caffeine or marijuana – often in ways that are not addictive but still harmful?  Other adults teach the importance of birth control and safe sex to their teenagers, but how many times in their own lives have they not practiced what they believe on that score?

On a more political level, and without getting into nuances of this issue, how many progressives believe in a woman’s right to an abortion but also believe in abolishing the death penalty?  And, the same is true on the other side of that debate.  People who are against abortion are often ardently in favor of the death penalty.

Regarding the major issue of our time, racism, a vast majority of white Americans do not consider themselves racist.  They claim to have African-American friends, they may have voted for Obama, and they would never say or do anything overtly racist.  Indeed, I think most white Americans sincerely want to be anti-racist and pro-equality.

And yet, I also believe most white Americans still hold subconscious racism that is a latent vestige of their upbringing.  I admit to a form of racial hypocrisy myself.  I want to be someone who accepts and celebrates everyone equally.  Intellectually, I have a strong dislike for any prejudice and yet, when I honestly examine my inner thoughts, I know I can have racist feelings. 

I often have to catch myself and refrain from unkind thoughts when I see groups of African-American men hanging around street corners during the middle of a work day.  Issues of unemployment, unequal educations and centuries of white racism are primary reasons for this – not the fact that black men are somehow lazy.  Why is it, however, that I can know this intellectually and still not always think it?

  I am inwardly fearful when I encounter a group of black young men walking toward me on a downtown street at night.  I racially stereotype the black young men as possible criminals in ways that I don’t when I see groups of white young men.

Or, I sometimes mistakenly believe that I’ve earned my place in the world solely through hard work and diligence.  I ignore, in that thinking, the fact I’ve been given all the privileges of being white – attending good schools, being raised in well-off neighborhoods and never having to fear for my safety or my dignity because of my race.

Subconscious racism also causes me to forget that I had all the advantages of an excellent education – much of it provided to me because of where I grew up – in neighborhoods with high property taxes to fund good schools.  In my conceit, I can forget that many blacks do not grow up in similar neighborhoods and cannot attend well funded schools.  I am the product of white privilege.  Differences between my station in life and that of some black men my age is therefore not due to inadequacy on their part.  It’s due to systemic inequalities in how we fund our schools, in our criminal justice system and in politics.  I’m a hypocrite when I believe I’ve fully earned my way.

My point is that most people with thoughts and opinions are hypocrites on some level.  As imperfect people, we fail to fully practice our beliefs – and that causes many of us unease.  We either confront our hypocrisy, or we try to rationalize it.  Experts call hypocrisy “cognitive dissonance”.  A hypocrite’s mind is at war with itself.

When we confront our hypocrisies, psychologists say we take the first step toward growing out of them.  What is important is to be aware of our hypocrisies, admit them, and then find ways to to align our actions with our beliefs.

To do that, psychologists strongly recommend we avoid a judgmental attitude.  When we judge others, we immediately open ourselves to charges of hypocrisy since no person is perfect.  As a great human teacher, Jesus was clear about this.  “Do not point out the speck in someone else’s eye,” he famously said, “when you have a log in your own.”

That teaching is underlined in the story about his confrontation with a group of men who were about to stone an adulterous woman.  “Let the man with no moral failures cast the first stone!” he said.  When no stone went flying, it was clear he had pricked the mens’ consciences.   They had all, of course, sinned. 

The story is one many scholars believe is true.  The story was intended to highlight the terribly hypocritical and misogynist ancient Jewish practice to stone a woman to death for adultery, but not the man.  They based such a practice on the belief that women are the cause for most immorality, including adultery, since it was Eve, and not Adam, who was seduced by the devil.  Jesus, however, was horrified at such hypocrisy.  While he did not absolve the woman from any wrongdoing, the story has him furious at the hypocritical men who sat in judgement of her.  Indeed, he often taught that hypocrisy is the worst of sins.

And Buddhism echoes that teaching.  When we recognize a flaw or failure in someone else, according to the Buddha, we must not point it out but instead ponder how we are prone to do or be the same.  In doing so, we will recognize and want to fix our flaw.  Most importantly, we’ll avoid the hypocrisy of tsk-tsking about someone else’s misdeed when we acknowledge we have similar misdeeds of our own.

One story about the Buddha that teaches self-awareness relates that after a traveler from a far off land visited and got to know the Buddha, he was stunned.  He’d never encountered a person with such honesty and peace of mind. 

“What are you?” the man asked, “A heavenly being?” 

“No.” replied the Buddha. 

“Are you a holy man?” 

“No.” said the Buddha. 

“Well,” said the traveler, “Are you an ordinary person who only appears to be great?” 

“No.” said the Buddha. 

“What are you then?” asked the man. 

“Awake.” said the Buddha.

And that is a key concept for admitting and correcting hypocrisies in ourselves.  We must be awake to our true selves and, most importantly, awake to ways we are hypocritical.  The truth is that none of us are either saints or sinners, but instead fully human in our beautiful and yet imperfect glory.  If we understand that, if we both accept it and admit it – we’ll take off our scary masks. 

As I quoted the Dalai Lama last Sunday, we must be true to our reality.   And it is by facing our reality that we’ll no longer judge others and thereby fall prey to hypocrisy.

The last two Sunday’s, after my messages on scary Halloween costumes of scapegoating and Prima Donnas, several people told me they knew exactly who I was talking about – a politician who I shall not name.  And, truthfully, that politician was the inspiration for this message series. As much as I have said we must refrain from judging others, this politician’s words and actions are so extreme that they do warrant rebuke and disgust.

But, it’s easy to cast stones at this person even though I will not name  the person. I walk a fine line here since ministers and churches must not be political.  With regard to my belief that we must look inside ourselves, I suggest the unprecedented coarseness of this election is due to our collective coarseness.  All Americans have become divided not just by political beliefs but by hate and nasty vitriol.  I invoke the words of Gandhi.  We must be the change we want to see.  If we want to unify our nation and end the hypocrisy of some of our leaders, we must first begin with ourselves.

That means it’s all the more essential to examine ourselves to root out any hypocrisy.  Wearing even a faint version of a mask of the particular politician scares the heck out of me.  I must admit to all the ways I hypocritically assure myself that I’m so good, that I harbor no racist thoughts, that I don’t scapegoat, that I’m not conceited, and that I always treat others with respect.  It deeply pains me to think I’m not only sometimes a hypocrite, but that I sometimes wound others with my speech, demeanor or actions.  In the face of hate, we must love all the more.  We must be even more winsome and true to our values.

My friends, I’m a hypocrite and, forgive me, so are you.  If you agree, then we are both on the road to a cure.   More importantly, it’s a step toward not judging others and offering Instead kindness and peace.   Yes, that politician’s speech and actions toward women, minorities and immigrants are terrible.  But the person – the person – we cannot judge but instead hope for redemption and growth. 

For us, this person helps us by highlighting our own scapegoating, arrogance and hypocrisies.  If we focus on our flaws, and then on becoming the best we can be, we will emerge from behind scary masks and reveal our true, and beautiful, selves. 

 

 

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

The Phantom of the Opera, a musical drama I imagine most of you have heard or seen, depicts several human weaknesses each of us strive to overcome.  Emotions of resentment, jealousy, fear and arrogance consume the play’s characters in ways that are both sympathetic and engaging.

The story plumbs the depths of the anguished Phantom’s feelings about his disfigurement, and his jealousy of the Opera company’s directors whom he believes are less talented than he.  The musical further explores the theme of jealousy in the character of Carlotta, the soprano star of the opera company who has the title of ‘Prima Donna’.  That title is given to the principle singer, usually a female soprano, in any opera company.  As the star, she carries the weight of a production.  If she has a poor performance, the rest of the cast might be great but the opera still suffers.  The audience will be disappointed.  If she has a bravura performance, however, the audience will cheer both her and the entire cast.

For many Prima Donnas, such power, responsibility and fame often influences their ego.  Opera Prima Donnas begin to demand extra attention and more perks because of their stardom.  They know the opera company both depends on their talent – and prospers because of it.  That realization of fame is difficult to manage for most people.  It causes many people to become consumed with their own grandiosity.

In the Phantom of the Opera, that is exactly how its Prima Donna, Carlotta, acts.  She is horrified that, despite a sore throat, she is replaced in an opera by a mere chorus girl named Christine – who goes on to become a star herself.  Carlotta believes she is the star and nobody can or should replace her!  Her arrogance and condescension toward Christine is one of the show’s dramatic highlights.

Because arrogance became synonymous with Prima Donnas, it soon defined not just an opera star – but any person who is demanding, boastful, and conceited.  Someone who acts as if they are the greatest at what they do, who thinks the world should listen to and hang on their every word (kind of like a minister on Sunday mornings!), who expects extravagant attention, wealth and luxury, who believes they are so perfect and great that they are irreplaceable – that kind of person is now referred to as a Prima Donna.

And that definition leads me to the second of my three messages this October on scary Halloween costumes one might wear.  My series is also a fanciful way of examining attitudes we can adopt from time to time but which we want to eliminate, as much as possible, from how we act and think.

Last Sunday I looked at the scapegoat as one scary costume.  Too many people blame others for their faults and failures.  Today, demagogue politicians turn Muslims, immigrants, African-Americans and others into the scapegoats of our time – people to blame for our nation’s economic and social problems.  On an individual level, we can make a child, a loved one or a stranger a scapegoat for our personal failures.  We can also adopt a perpetual victim mentality that refuses to overcome life challenges.  We thereby make ourselves a scapegoat. 

Next Sunday, I plan to look at how the hypocrite is perhaps the scariest of all costumes – a person who purposefully does not act as he or she believes – as someone who does not figuratively walk their talk.

But for today, a Prima Donna is someone who is defined by their arrogance.  While this can come from winning fame and fortune, most experts believe Prima Donna attitudes are formed at an early age.  In some unhealthy homes, parental affection for children is not unconditional.  Instead, it is conditional, and based on a child’s successes or failures – how beautiful or handsome he or she is, the grades they get, or their abilities in a sport or artistic endeavor.  Children learn that they must compete for parental affection and that any imperfection brings ridicule.  Such children learn to manipulate their parents’ perception of them.  They tend to brag, exaggerate accomplishments, and paint themselves as the good child.  And they later become Prima Donna adults.  Dysfunctional parents can shower love on their children who are cocky and boastful – who seem to be successful – and withhold love from quieter or less boastful kids who seem less successful.

Ultimately, psychologists believe Prima Donna attitudes are compensation for insecurity and weakness.  Since everyone has flaws, but not everyone is able to identify and admit to them, Prima Donnas use arrogance as a way to mask who they really are.

Psychologists further say that Prima Donna’s often have lots of friends but most of them are superficial friendships.  Prima Donnas have very few if any close friends and if they do, the relationship often does not last long.  Prima Donnas can be outwardly charming but that is often employed as a way to get something they want.

Prima Donnas are intolerant of people who are different, weak or less than successful.   They generally ridicule and tear down those they deem inferior – all as a way to feed their sense of superiority.

Prima Donnas usually dominate conversations.  Only they have anything important to say – or so they believe.  They often turn a conversation into one about themselves.  They are overly talkative and generally poor listeners.  They prefer to argue and debate instead of engaging in a mutually affirming conversation.

Prima Donnas have a great sense of humor about flaws in other people, but they are unwilling to laugh at themselves and their own everyday foibles.  Any comment they perceive as criticism brings out their insecurities and causes them to lash out in anger.

Finally, Prima Donnas rarely, if ever, admit their mistakes and apologize.  To do so would be to confess they are not as smart, successful or great as they believe.  As most psychologists say, Prima Donna arrogance is a mask for deep insecurity.

One of the problems with identifying classically Prima Donna behaviors is that it’s often assumed that the opposite of arrogance is a type of humility that is meek, self-effacing, and timid.  Many people feel  insecure because they too did not receive unconditional parental love.  Just like some kids respond to conditional love by becoming arrogant, other kids respond by becoming quiet and fearful.  They hesitate to stand out in fear they’ll fail and lose the affection of a parent.   These kids become adults who lack the confidence to do anything challenging.

The kind of attitude that we should strive to adopt is one that most psychologists describe as ‘healthy humility.’   It’s also a spiritual path which I believe leads to self awareness and inner peace.  To be humble in a way that is healthy is to celebrate one’s unique abilities and characteristics while admitting one’s flaws and areas for growth.  This kind of humble person has no need to boast since he or she already recognizes the skills they have.  They have learned not to be consumed by what others think of them since they already love and believe in themselves.  This person has usually been  unconditionally loved by a parent or partner.  They feel love not for what they do or don’t do, but simply because they are a child or person worthy of love and respect.

This is why most psychologists say that healthy humility is an attitude muscle we must work to develop.  Becoming humble is very similar to the Buddhist practice of mindfulness and self-emptying.  We must strive to let go of our inner ego – the part of us that desires material pleasure, the part that gets jealous, and that is prone to selfishness.  By freeing ourselves of most external, self-oriented desires, we will be more at peace about our abilities.  We’ll put in perspective our failures.  We’ll feel greater love toward not only ourselves but others too.

It’s an ironic fact but arrogance is rooted in a lack of self-confidence.  Humility is rooted, to the contrary, in an abundance of honest self-confidence.   Truly humble people have the confidence to know they are special in the same way they believe everyone is special.   Logic and self-awareness leads to such humility. 

We are each insignificant within an almost limitless universe.  We are each only one out of 7 billion humans.  And yet we each are also worthy and valuable.  In other words, you are nothing and yet you are everything.  That dual awareness is a hallmark of healthy humility. 

Humble people listen more than they speak because they want to learn from others.  Humble people are generous because they have no fear about their needs.  Honestly humble people build others up instead of tearing them down – since they have no need to compete.  They are already aware of their abilities.  People who have healthy humility are unafraid to apologize and admit mistakes since they understand that every person fails some of the time.  Love for others leads one to empathize with how one may have been hurtful, and so apology comes naturally to truly humble people.

Once again, its ironic but humble people are strong because they know and admit to their vulnerability.  Without fear of being unmasked as weak, they’re not afraid to try new things, accept people with different lifestyles and beliefs, or even of having someone outshine them.

The Dalai Lama wrote in his book, The Art of Happiness at Work, that a truly humble person understands their personal reality.  He or she knows that they, like every person, has gifts of ability that define who they are as individuals.  One might be artistic, musical, empathetic, witty, funny, gentle, athletic or intelligent – but each has a variety of qualities that not only make them who they are, they make them unique.  With that awareness comes peace, self-confidence and, importantly, healthy humility.

Arrogant people have no awareness of their true abilities.  They inwardly believe themselves to be weak so they exaggerate their specialness.  On the other hand, people who lack self-confidence, who have been beaten down by parents or others who offer only conditional love, they minimize their specialness.  Both extremes, arrogance or timid humility, are unbalanced.  Neither way is good says the Dalai Lama.  It is the middle path, as always, that is best. 

The self-aware, mindful and humble person continually examines their truth – the good AND the bad.  They neither deny their strengths nor do they boast of them.   They neither deny their weaknesses nor are they defeated by them.   They simply ARE – a fully complete, true and ultimately empowered person.

I have to be honest with you.  I’ve had a difficult week in my role as minister.  I was criticized by a few people and that distressed me.  I’ve watched with fear the hurricane that headed toward my house in south Florida and I despaired that I was not there to watch over it.  I’ve doubted my abilities and my work.  In truth, I gave in to the Prima Donna attitude.  I was hurt by criticism because I lacked confidence in the skills I do have as a minister.  I worried about my house because I still hold onto the false value of material things – and I worried about something so trivial compared to the challenges others face.  I doubted myself because I lost sight of what makes me – me.

I still struggle to find the kind of humility that is real – that is not afraid to claim my strengths while seeking growth in areas where I’m weak.  I could be wrong, but I don’t think most people would call me a Prima Donna.  And yet, in many ways, I am – I just wear that costume on the inside.

I tell you these things not to be boastful about how “confessional” I can be.  (It sounds ironic but some people can be arrogant about their humility.)  Rather, I tell these things to you because I believe many people, like me, struggle with finding the right balance between being humble and yet still being self-confident.  The struggle for us all is how to be authentic and celebrate our reality. 

I look out into this room and I see very successful people – individuals who are kind, giving, serving, creative, hard working, intelligent, and strong.  And, I also see a room full of challenged people who struggle with insecurity, fear, worldly desires or anger.

But these contrasting truths are what make us each beautiful and special.  If we strive to be true, to take off any inner or outer masks we might wear, we’ll find the power to be even greater than we already are.  In our self-awareness and honest humility, we’ll be kinder, gentler, more confident and happier.   We’ll have no need to wear an arrogant Prima Donna costume.  With true humility, we will already be so, so, much better.

And I wish you all much peace and joy.

Instead of a normal talkback time this morning, I’d like us to participate in a talkback to ourselves.   You’ll find on the back of your programs three questions that I hope you will now take the time to answer.  Write down the first things that pop into your mind as those are usually the most honest – and I encourage you to be honest with yourself.  I also encourage you to look only at your sheet and not try to see what a spouse or person sitting next to you has written.  These questions and your responses are intended to be about self-awareness – for only you to ponder.

After you finish, please look at what you have written and reflect on how your responses define the special, good and flawed you.  Reflect on how you can live each day with awareness of your answers – fully knowing all the ways you are great, and all the ways you want grow.

While Michael plays some soft background music, let us participate in this exercise for just a few minutes.

(c) Rev. Doug Slagle, The Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved

Approximately three thousand years ago in ancient Israel, Solomon was King of the Jewish nation.  He built what was then considered one of the seven wonders of the world – the Jerusalem Temple.  Each year on the tenth day of the seventh Jewish month, Temple priests gathered to lead the celebration of Yom Kippur which literally means in Hebrew: ‘Day of Atonement.’  Jews from all of Palestine came to Jerusalem for this holiest of Jewish holidays.  Nine days from now, Jews all over the world – even secular and liberal Jews – will celebrate Yom Kippur.

Solomon’s Temple, in ancient times, was an immense edifice built of solid blocks and whitewashed so it gleamed in the sun.  It was divided into several courtyards to separate people of different grades of alleged holiness.  The outermost courtyard was reserved for women – who were considered the least holy.  The next was for non-Jewish men.  The next was reserved for Jewish men over the age of thirteen.  Next came the courtyard for Temple Priests.  Finally, at the innermost point of the Temple, was the Holy of Holies structure into which only the High Priest – the religious ruler of all Jews – could enter.

On Yom Kippur, two goats were randomly selected and brought to the courtyard of Priests.  One goat was ritually sacrificed.  Its throat was cut, it’s blood drained into a large bowl, and its flesh burned on an altar.

The High Priest took the bowl of blood into the Holy of Holies.  This was where the Ark of the Covenant was kept and where Yahweh was said to dwell.  Before he entered the Holy of Holies, something the High Priest only did on Yom Kippur, a rope was tied around his waist so the other priests could pull him out in case he was blinded by the presence of God.  Once inside, he sprinkled the goat blood over the Ark as an annual gift to Yahweh.

Back outside, the High Priest took the other goat, placed his hands firmly on its head, and ritually transferred a year’s worth of Jewish sins and misdeeds into it.  A young priest then took this goat far into the Judean wilderness where he let it go.  In this way, Jews atoned for their sins.  Their anger, lies and moral failures were cleansed from them and placed into the abandoned goat.  From this ritual, the term ‘scapegoat’ was derived to now mean an innocent person who is blamed for the bad actions of another.      

During October, my three messages will focus on what I believe are three scary Halloween costumes we might wear – today, that of the scapegoat, next week, the prima donna, and then finally  the hypocrite.  While these might be actual costumes to wear, they are also attitudes many people practice everyday.  Despite the inherent goodness I believe is born within each person, too often we allow our egos to take control and feed our fears, resentments and selfish desires.  We can become figurative demons – scapegoats, prima donnas or hypocrites – that are frightening to ourselves and others.

For today’s message, the term scapegoat came from the Jewish Yom Kippur ritual, but people of all cultures often blame others for their failures.  Indeed, scapegoating usually increases in times of hardship for an individual or a community.  Women who acted slightly different were accused of being witches during the Middle Ages and Puritan era.  Any drought, crop failure or disease was blamed on witches who were believed to have been seduced by the devil – much like Eve in the biblical garden of Eden.   These women were tortured and usually executed by drowning or burning at the stake.  They were the scapegoats of their time.

During the 1920’s and ’30’s, when post World War One Germany’s economy was in ruins, the Nazi party rose to power based almost entirely on their accusations that Jews, liberals and homosexuals were subverting the power and integrity of Germany.  Hitler appealed to people’s fears and resentments through scapegoating.

Today, demagogues in the U.S., Britain and France target immigrants, Muslims and blacks as a way to appeal mostly to white men who suddenly no longer have all the power.  As scapegoats, immigrants are blamed for unemployment and declining incomes.  All Muslims are blamed for terrorism.  Blacks are blamed for national deficits because they supposedly take more than they produce. 

Psychologists say that scapegoating is a hostile act done to shift responsibility away from a threatened group or person.  It serves the need of the group or person to both feel better about themselves while ignoring ways to correct their own failures.  Instead of doing the difficult work to fix true causes of a problem, it’s far easier to blame and punish another.  Identify a scapegoat and a problem is solved.

Carl Jung, the famous psychologist, said that it is a common tendency for people to shadow cast.  The dark parts of me that I inwardly hate, my insecurities and failures, are shadow cast on someone else, all in order to avoid looking at my ugliness.  “My failures in life are not my fault,” I can smugly tell myself.

Since it’s the fault of others, I can only make things better by venting anger and frustration on, for instance, a parent who perhaps didn’t toilet train me properly, on a teacher who did not recognize my intelligence, gave me an ‘F’, and supposedly kept me out of Harvard, on a spouse or partner whom I believe does not show me respect, or on a hispanic woman who got the high paying job that I deserve.

To punish my scapegoats, I’ll often support demagogues who promise to make my nation great again by ending immigration, outlawing Islam, promoting racist laws to restrict opportunity and equality, or restoring a supposed form of morality.  Hitler was a classic scapegoater.  So were, in American history,  Huey Long, Father Coughlin, Joseph McCarthy, Anita Bryant and Jerry Falwell.     

One problem with scapegoating is that I can both play the victim – while also victimizing others.  In other words, I can make myself a scapegoat, and I can scapegoat others.  The classic scapegoaters I just mentioned did this.  Psychologists say this attitude is fundamentally a problem of control.  Who and what do I believe controls my life?  Do I believe I am outwardly controlled – that other people and forces are responsible for what happens to me?  Do I think my successes are due to luck and my failures due to the malicious actions of others?  Do I see myself as a victim and my life as hopeless?

Or, do I believe I’m inwardly controlled, that I am mostly responsible for my success or failure?  Do I believe I have the ability to identify my deficiencies or setbacks and then work to correct them?  Can I change the way I cognitively think about life – to be a mostly positive, hopeful and caring person?

One funny story from a therapist relates how a husband in a marital counseling session exclaimed, “My wife is totally to blame for all that is wrong in our marriage!”  “Do you really believe she is 100% responsible?” the therapist asked.  “Well, no,” the husband admitted after pausing a moment.  “Her mother is at least partially responsible!”

Experts say those who frequently play the victim, or scapegoat others, believe good events in their lives are caused by luck.  Bad events are caused by other people or pure chance.  Perpetual victims and scapegoaters have difficultly controlling emotions of anger, fear or resentment. They irrationally vent, yell and blame.  They are generally unable to reason and think through an issue.  They usually refuse to look within themselves to find reasons for their failures.  When a scapegoater engages in an argument, he or she spends most time thinking how the other person is wrong – never conceding the other might be correct.  And, when truly challenged, people who scapegoat rarely persevere to find ways to heal and overcome.  Instead, they give up, quit, or end a relationship. 

Simply because some are false victims or stay stuck in victimhood does not mean there are not heroic victims.  A heroic victim is one who finds ways to move beyond and overcome.  In essence, if someone has hurt me, or maliciously made me a scapegoat, do I then always self-identify as a victim?  Or, do I take control of my victimhood? Do I refuse to be demeaned, speak up and re-assert control over my destiny?  Do I protest, do I become an activist, and do I find the inner strength to forgive, change, heal and ultimately overcome?

What inspires me are the true victims throughout history who have refused to play the role of victim.  The steadfast and stoic attitudes of black slaves who held onto their dignity and taught it to their children, the organizers of the underground railroad, blacks who sat at all white lunch counters or in the front of buses, who marched across the Edmund Pettus bridge in Selma, who build vibrant black neighborhoods and businesses, who today march in Charlotte, Tulsa, and Ferguson insisting that black lives matter – such people do not play the role of victim.  They refuse to be scapegoated.

I also admire those who were raised in dysfunctional households but  who find ways to overcome their hurts by looking inward, taking control of their lives, and seek healing through counseling and introspection.  Such persons are victims only in the past.  As self-aware people, they forgive and let go.  It may sound cliche, but we are only victims if we think we are victims.

Victor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote that during the darkest hours of his time in Auschwitz, he could not and did not allow the guards to strip him of his humanity.  For him, that meant to love and serve others.  He intensely focused and meditated on the profound love he had for his wife.  He focused on helping, as he could, prisoners less fortunate than himself.  He wrote of the example of a fellow prisoner in Auschwitz who one day jumped into a large vat in which rancid grease had been stored.  The man rolled around in it and smeared the stinking grease residue all over himself.  The guards derisively laughed at the man.  

      Later, back in the communal cabin, the man took off his clothes and tore them into nine strips, all smeared with grease.  He then fashioned a crude Hanukkah menorah so he and others could light and celebrate that holiday.  The man, like Frankl, defied the Germans, refused to play the scapegoat, and undertook ways to serve and love – instead of also engaging in scapegoating.

Such attitudes are ones any of us can adopt.  We can take off the scary scapegoat mask forced on us by others.  We can assert our control by communicating with the offender, by establishing future boundaries to prevent added hurt, by asserting our dignity and demanding respect, by forgiving, by working to build reconciliation and, most important, by rising above fear and hatred to instead love.

From a spiritual perspective, asserting control over our thinking and the way we live is key to self-awareness, empowerment and peace.  No matter what comes at us – illness, the end of a relationship, genuine hurts caused by others – only we have the power and ability to heal ourselves and overcome.  If we turn inward, we’ll find the strength to fight back non-violently, we’ll recognize the trap of self-pity, we’ll see our flaws and ways we can grow, we’ll let go of our egos and belief that life is unfair and we don’t deserve to suffer like any other person.

By engaging in the task of inner exploration, by taking control over our destiny and our identity as a scapegoat or victim, we can find the keys to more contentment.  Equally as important, we will no longer feel the urge to make others a scapegoat in our revenge.

The mantle of being a great person, the mark of being a great nation, is never in blaming others.  It’s in identifying the faults within oneself and changing them.  It’s in refusing to lash out with anger, frustration and blame at others – even if they truly are persecutors.  By letting go, by forgiving, by serving and caring and loving and healing – never tearing down but always building up – our nation and each of us as individuals will achieve the kind of greatness that endures.

To choose to wear a scapegoat mask, one is truly scary.  Being forced by others to wear a scapegoat mask is even worse.  Blacks, Jews, Muslims, immigrants, women, gays, the physically and mentally challenged – they all know the sting of being a scapegoat.  What is remarkable about these groups of people is they also know the joy of triumph and victory!  To refuse to be a scapegoat, to pursue being a gentle, humble, caring, empathetic, forgiving and assertive overcomer – that is a costume, a robe of truth, that we should all aspire to wear.

I wish you each much peace and joy!

Talkback

Interested in thoughts on how to prevent / stop hateful scapegoating in our nation – to look inward instead of outward – for accepting esponsibility for many of our national problems…..

Closing meditation

Let us close our service this morning with a few moments of meditation or prayer – while Mary plays some soft background music.

We are grateful people – for life, for the beauty of nature outside our windows, for this time together in friendship and love.  Let us depart from here renewed in some way – with enlarged perspectives, with open hearts to friends and strangers, with peace of mind…

May they carry us through the week ahead so that we are gracious, generous and caring.

May we heed the message this day – to find within ourselves the power and insight to grow……to heal……to lift up, but never to blame. (Wait)

Let us now share our peace and our greetings with one another.  Join together in the Quimby room for coffee, snacks and friends.