{"id":3334,"date":"2017-02-13T14:08:43","date_gmt":"2017-02-13T19:08:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gnhuu.org\/?p=3334"},"modified":"2017-02-13T14:10:41","modified_gmt":"2017-02-13T19:10:41","slug":"sunday-february-12-2016-love-literature","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/2017\/02\/13\/sunday-february-12-2016-love-literature\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunday, February 12, 2016, “Love Literature”"},"content":{"rendered":"

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved<\/p>\n

Last month two men, who were referred to me by a friend, asked if I would perform their marriage ceremony on Inauguration day.\u00a0 <\/span>They contacted me just a few days before and so I was hesitant to do it.\u00a0 <\/span>I do not perform off the shelf, cookie cutter weddings.\u00a0 <\/span>I like to meet with a couple weeks beforehand and plan a ceremony that is special just for them.<\/span><\/p>\n

But this couple explained that they had been so traumatized by the recent election that they wanted to do something positive on Inauguration day.\u00a0 <\/span>Having been partners for years, they had often talked about getting married.<\/span><\/p>\n

Their hurry up ceremony, they told me, would not only be a statement of commitment to one another, it would be a statement of hope on a day when division and intolerance were seemingly honored.\u00a0 <\/span>I agreed to officiate their wedding on that basis.<\/span><\/p>\n

January 20th began cold and overcast but by the four o\u2019clock wedding hour the sun had come out.\u00a0 <\/span>We stood at a river-view overlook for the ceremony.\u00a0 <\/span>White, billowing clouds scudded across a blue sky.\u00a0 <\/span>The river sparkled beneath us.\u00a0 <\/span>The heavens seemed to smile.\u00a0 <\/span>A few of their friends gathered to watch.\u00a0 <\/span>Included with them were the son and ex-wife of one of the men.\u00a0 <\/span>As I pronounced them husband and husband, the boy and his mom burst into tears.\u00a0 <\/span>I was concerned that seeing their dad and former husband get married to another man was too much for them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, the newly married couple, the ex-wife and the young son quickly came together in a long and tearful hug.\u00a0 <\/span>The woman later assured me that she and her son were not sad.\u00a0 <\/span>They had cried tears of joy at the beauty of the moment and the fulfillment of truth for a man they still deeply loved.<\/span><\/p>\n

I thought afterwards that such love is what life is all about.\u00a0 <\/span>On a day that many mourned as one defined by the victory of hate over compassion, I was blessed by being with this couple, and their families, who said \u201cyes\u201d to forgiveness, kindness and truth.\u00a0 <\/span>In so many ways, I identified with their feelings.\u00a0 <\/span>I know the pain and heartache that happens with coming out, with divorce, and with a decision that disrupts so many lives.\u00a0 <\/span>I also know the love I received when my own daughters, and my ex-wife assured me of their continued support.\u00a0 <\/span>Love, it seems, is far more than an emotional feeling.\u00a0 <\/span>It’s a gift of self and a statement of goodness when hate or anger could easily predominate.<\/span><\/p>\n

At that wedding I recited a reading that is offered at many weddings.\u00a0 <\/span>The reading has become so common that I sometimes think it trite and I usually prefer not to use it.\u00a0 <\/span>But it has stood the test of time.\u00a0 <\/span>It still resonates and speaks wisdom.\u00a0 <\/span>And so, on this occasion, I thought it appropriate.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In a letter that the Biblical Paul wrote to a Christian church in ancient Corinth, a church that was known for its wealthy and arrogant members who looked down on and mistreated marginalized persons, Paul expressed these beautiful words:<\/span><\/p>\n

If I speak in the tongues of angels, but do not have love, I am only a loud gong or a clanging cymbal.\u00a0 <\/span>If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.\u00a0 <\/span>If I give all I possess to the poor and sacrifice myself and my body, but do not have love, I gain nothing.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Love is patient, love is kind.\u00a0 <\/span>It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.\u00a0 <\/span>It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.\u00a0 <\/span>Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.\u00a0 <\/span>It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.\u00a0 <\/span>Love never fails.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>Paul tells us that love is, indeed, a gift.\u00a0 <\/span>It is a way of telling or showing any person that against all the prompts of selfish instinct, I will be patient with you.\u00a0 <\/span>I will be gentle and caring to you.\u00a0 <\/span>I will feel joy for what you have and what you do.\u00a0 <\/span>Toward you, I will be humble and sublimate my needs to yours.\u00a0 <\/span>I will honor you by listening and serving.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll forgive and forget the hurts you have inflicted.\u00a0 <\/span>Your feelings will be first, mine second. \u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll believe only what is noble and true about you.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll protect you from being hurt.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll trust and believe in your goodness.\u00a0 <\/span>I will do all these things as long as I live.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As I said last Sunday, whatever it is we believe God to be – or not to be – she is a force of love.\u00a0 <\/span>Love is quite simply what defines the universe.\u00a0 <\/span>It embodies all that is good, beautiful, positive and true.\u00a0 <\/span>Its opposite – hate – embodies all that is negative, cruel and false.<\/span><\/p>\n

Leo Tolstoy, in his famous novel <\/span>War and Peace<\/span>, wrote, \u201cLove is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.\u00a0 <\/span>Everything is, everything exists, only because I love.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span><\/b>He tells us in these words what I believe is true about love in general.\u00a0 <\/span>Whether we serve the homeless, volunteer to teach our children, repair our church building, kiss and embrace our partners, sit quietly by a friend, or advocate against racism – we must do so motivated by a desire to be concerned, passionate and honest.\u00a0 <\/span>As Paul and Tolstoy wrote, such prompts, if they be sincere, spring from love.<\/span><\/p>\n

And if that be so, then love is what conceived us.\u00a0 <\/span>It is a creative power that brings all new life, thar stirs distant galaxies, that defines the stuff of reason and truth.\u00a0 <\/span>Love is art, music, science, poetry, medicine, teaching and so much more.\u00a0 <\/span>When we do any loving act for another, we must do it with honesty and pure intent. \u00a0 <\/span>We must <\/span>want<\/i><\/b><\/span> to give away a piece of ourselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In that regard, Tolstoy also wrote, <\/span><\/p>\n

There is no love apart of that love which gives away its soul for a friend.\u00a0 <\/span>Love is only love when it is self-sacrifice.\u00a0 <\/span>Only when a person gives away to another not only their time, but when he or she spends their body and gives away their life\u2026<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>I elaborated last Sunday on the relatively simple concept of understanding the love language of those who are special to you.\u00a0 <\/span>If you were not here, you can listen to or read that message on our website.\u00a0 <\/span>By learning which of the five so-called love languages that our partners, children, friends or colleagues most prefer, we extend to them a gift.\u00a0 <\/span>We consciously choose to love them in way they both prefer and completely feel.\u00a0 <\/span>In essence, we sacrifice what we prefer for their sake – for their sense of well-being and comfort.\u00a0 <\/span>We fulfill, with our deeds, our purpose for living – to let go of the self and love others.<\/span><\/p>\n

Walt Whitman, in his well-known anthology of poems, <\/span>Leaves of Grass<\/span>, wrote this,\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Love the earth and sun and animals,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Stand up for the stupid and crazy,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Hate tyrants, devote your income and labor to others\u2026<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Re-examine all you have been told at school or church,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

And your very flesh shall be a great poem.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>Love, for Whitman, is to sacrifice our lives, our needs, our prejudices, and our bodies for the sake of another.\u00a0 <\/span>In doing so, we love them <\/span>at least as much<\/b><\/span> as we too want to be loved.<\/span><\/p>\n

Writing perhaps the quintessential love story, Shakespeare in his play <\/span>Romeo and Juliet<\/span> shares that sentiment.\u00a0 <\/span>Love comes by chance and is often fickle.\u00a0 <\/span>It can burn with a fiery passion that both wounds and inspires.\u00a0 <\/span>But above all, love is noble.\u00a0 <\/span>It defines itself through the goodness it creates.\u00a0 <\/span>When we see love, when we feel it, when it we give it away, our inner angels prompt us to do and speak even greater good.\u00a0 <\/span>Anger subsides.\u00a0 <\/span>Greed and intolerance stop.\u00a0 <\/span>Our hearts are open.\u00a0 <\/span>Shakespeare writes at the conclusion of <\/span>Romeo and Juliet<\/span> the ultimate purpose of the tragic, all consuming love he described in his play:<\/span><\/p>\n

Two households, both alike in dignity<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

in fair Verona, where we lay our scene,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

from ancient grudge break to new mutiny,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

a pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life, <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

whose misadventured piteous overthrows,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

do with their death bury their parents’ strife.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>The love of Romeo and Juliet, passionate, sacrificial and suicidal, nevertheless inspires reconciliation and an end to the hate between their families.\u00a0 <\/span>It is similar to what the two men I married wanted their ceremony to represent.\u00a0 <\/span>Our nation, riven by anger and intolerance, might be inspired in one little corner of it by the marriage of two people.\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>If so, love will serve its purpose.<\/span><\/p>\n

To any of us as lovers past, present or future, Carl Sandberg also wrote a well known and oft recited poem.\u00a0 <\/span>He wrote this,<\/span><\/p>\n

I love you for what you are, but I love you<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

yet more for what you are going to be.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

I love you not so much for your realities<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

as for your ideals.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

I pray for your desires, that they may be great,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

rather than for your satisfactions,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

which may be so hazardously little.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

A satisfied flower is one whose petals are about to fall.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

But the most beautiful rose is one, hardly more than a bud,<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

where in the pangs and ecstasies of desire are working<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

for larger and finer growth.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Not always shall you be what you are now.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

You are going forward toward something great.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

I am on the way with you<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

and therefore I love you.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Once again, a writer has captured the spiritual truth of love.\u00a0 <\/span>We often define love as the preference we have in a romantic partner, or the favor we have for our children and members of our families.\u00a0 <\/span>It might even be defined as the delight we feel in friends who support, care for and enrich us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But Paul, Leo Tolstoy, Walt Whitman, Shakespeare, Sandberg and other great writers all say something very different.\u00a0 <\/span>Love is not lust.\u00a0 <\/span>Love is not favor or preference.\u00a0 <\/span>Love is not a warm feeling. \u00a0 <\/span>Love is giving your all to me.\u00a0 <\/span>It is me doing the same for you.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s a parent working and struggling to feed and educate their child.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s a lover pouring himself or herself into the happiness of their mate.\u00a0 <\/span>It is our collective nation giving its resources for the well-being of the least of our inhabitants – the undocumented, the poor, the oppressed, the weak.\u00a0 <\/span>It is each of us forgetting\u00a0 <\/span>and letting go any prejudices or fears of Muslims, African Americans, the other abled and political opponents.<\/span><\/p>\n

Erich Fromm, author of the book <\/span>The Art of Loving<\/span>, says it best\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Infantile love believes We love because we are loved\u2026<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Mature love understands We are loved……because we love.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>With those words, I wish you peace, joy and very a happy Valentine\u2019s Day this Tuesday. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span> \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(c) Doug Slagle, Minister to the Gathering at Northern Hills, All Rights Reserved Last month two men, who were referred to me by a friend, asked if I would perform their marriage ceremony on Inauguration day.\u00a0 They contacted me just a few days before and so I was hesitant to do it.\u00a0 I do not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3334","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3334","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3334"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3334\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3337,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3334\/revisions\/3337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3334"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3334"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3334"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}