{"id":320,"date":"2010-06-20T10:42:15","date_gmt":"2010-06-20T17:42:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thegatheringcincinnati.org\/?p=320"},"modified":"2010-06-20T10:42:15","modified_gmt":"2010-06-20T17:42:15","slug":"320","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/2010\/06\/20\/320\/","title":{"rendered":"Father's Day, June 20, 2010, Let's Play!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Message 24, Let\u2019s Play, 6-18-10 \u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

download program: Service Program, 6-20-10<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a9 Pastor Doug Slagle, the Gathering UCC, All rights reserved<\/p>\n\n

A famous quote in the Bible, from the Book of Ecclesisastes, speaks of a time or a season for every purpose in life.\u00a0 There is a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to harvest, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.\u00a0 The ultimate purpose for humans, according to the book, states that \u201cthere is nothing better than to rejoice<\/span>, and to do good in their lives and that every person should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his or her labor\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

On this cusp of summer solstice and on a day when we acknowledge and celebrate men and fathers, I want to encourage us to embrace the theme from this month \u2013 summer fun<\/span><\/strong>.\u00a0 As much as we have examined over the last two weeks getting out into nature\u2019s church and basking in its wildness or participating in the sacred ritual of baseball – as a player or a participant, my message today is a fitting conclusion to this series. \u00a0We spend so many of our Sundays here deep in reflection and serious thought.\u00a0 The point of this series is intended to not only be light and fun \u2013 to coincide with the beginning of summer \u2013 but to also speak to the spiritual truth that fun, play, laughter and recreation are spiritual values and they are important for our well-being.\u00a0 As much as life can be a struggle for many people, we know that is not how it should be.\u00a0 We are to build and help create heaven here on earth for all people and all creation. \u00a0It is a purpose to which Jesus set as his goal \u2013 to remind us that \u201cthe Kingdom of God is at hand\u201d<\/strong>.\u00a0 We are each little gods who not only work for the good of family, friends, and the world at large, but we are to seize this time, as the Bible says, to eat, drink and rejoice in the glories of life.\u00a0 We are to have fun.\u00a0 We are to laugh.\u00a0 We are to play.\u00a0 These are spiritual truths for all of us and, I think, particularly so for men and dads who too often see life as serious, agenda driven and time constrained.<\/p>\n

And those are attitudes I too often exhibit myself.\u00a0 With my two girls here, whom I love more than my life itself, I must admit that one of my shortcomings as a dad was to not play enough with them.\u00a0 Looking back, I wish I had not taken the responsibilities of being a dad so seriously \u2013 to work, save money, plan, and structure their lives in order to prepare them for the hard realities of life.\u00a0 Those are important to be sure and I don\u2019t want to diminish the idea of responsibility.\u00a0 Into that mix of roles that a dad can serve, however, is one of playmate, laugh leader and fun creator.\u00a0 Indeed, for all men and for all people, the enjoyment of life is an essential principle to embrace.\u00a0 The Divine creator has given us life not to dwell on how difficult it is, but to use the fruits of our labor to help others and, importantly, to play.<\/p>\n

Believe it or not, there is a National Institute for Play whose director asserts that for adults, play is an essential ingredient to a successful and happy life.\u00a0\u00a0 Participating in regular play inspires resilience, patience, flexibility, creativity and intelligence.\u00a0 Far more than mere rest or recreation, active and fun filled play \u2013 for the child or adult \u2013 is an emotional re-set button for how we think and act.\u00a0 As Erna Olafson recounted in her message to the congregation about a year ago, there is a lot more involved in playful activities than just fun.\u00a0 Adults and children consciously and unconsciously learn about the ways of life in the midst of play.\u00a0 We learn in playing how to cooperate and how to negotiate with others.\u00a0 We also learn how to be persistent in our tasks and to discover activities that make us happy and satisfied.\u00a0 As noted earlier, we are creatively inspired from play.\u00a0 Sigmund Freud asserted that humans require \u201cSpielraum<\/em><\/strong>\u201d<\/em> \u2013 a German phrase for room or space to be creative and curious.\u00a0 This involves the freedom to be creative by acting out fun-filled daydreams, fantasies and make-believe play.<\/p>\n

Fathers and men can be particularly helpful to themselves and to children by encouraging such behavior.\u00a0 With children, men and, indeed all adults, must not simply promote play but we should be willing to actively engage in it \u2013 amongst ourselves and with our children.\u00a0 Too often adults say they are too busy or too mature to engage in simple games of tag, make-believe or hide and seek.\u00a0 Children, as a result, get the message that their activities are not important or that they are simply immature and must instead try and act like an adult \u2013 serious and business like.<\/p>\n

But the exact opposite is true.\u00a0 In a day and age when I believe far too many children are being robbed of their childhoods by over-regulated and scheduled lives \u2013 ballet lessons, math tutoring, second language classes, soccer leagues, etc. etc. \u2013 we have devalued the importance of and the spiritual ethic of joy, happiness and pure, un-regulated play.\u00a0 Even in pre-schools and kindergarten classrooms, children are pushed to learn academic skills at earlier and earlier ages.\u00a0 They are denied, in the process, the essential activity of play during which they learn life skills necessary to be fulfilled and happy.<\/p>\n

Men and women should engage in play with children and not try and direct it through rules or suggestions.\u00a0 Dads should be willing to play doll with their daughters and<\/span><\/em><\/strong> their sons.\u00a0 Indeed, it is seen as extremely important that boys be allowed to play with dolls as this does not necessarily indicate feminine or gay tendencies.\u00a0 Playing with dolls is a part of make believe and such activities promote creative thinking and the cognitive skill of \u201cexecutive function\u201d<\/strong> which enables one to self-regulate regarding rules, discipline, anger and behavior.\u00a0 In make believe, children talk to themselves about what is appropriate speech and attitude.\u00a0 Indeed, one psychologist suggests that adult self-talk is directly the result of childhood make-believe play.\u00a0 When we internally think about certain situations and how to handle them, we are acting out what we hopefully enjoyed as children \u2013 how to employ reason and common sense in everyday life.<\/p>\n

But play for fathers, men and women need not be all about what we learned from it as children.\u00a0 Playful activity needs to be a part of adult lives.\u00a0 I am far too serious for my own good.\u00a0 I need to let go sometimes and be willing to make a fool of myself.\u00a0 Play for adults reduces stress, encourages empathy, allows for the creation of community, fosters a better sense of humor, generates optimism and improves our immune systems.\u00a0 Being playful and fun spirited enables intimacy between friends and partners and it is a vital ingredient in healthy romantic relationships.\u00a0 We\u2019re encouraged by many therapists not to be so serious about love and sex and to instead add elements of playfulness and role-playing into those areas of our lives.\u00a0 All of this is to promote play \u2013 especially for men and dads \u2013 not just as a command or as something that is good for us.\u00a0 Finding joy, fun and celebration in life is perhaps more importantly a spiritual ethic.<\/p>\n

We so often read in the Bible about Jesus the man who comes across as dour, serious and a major kill-joy.\u00a0 Adults often see spirituality in any form as involving deep introspection, prayer, sacrifice and acting respectable.\u00a0 We come to church, we dress appropriately, we sit quietly and we do as we are told.\u00a0 And we often listen to a minister who tells us how awful we are and how much we need to try and act better.\u00a0 How many of us have listened to a minister wag his finger at us as we literally squirmed in our seats and were filled with guilt and shame?\u00a0 You are welcome to boo and hiss if I ever come across to you as a so-called Preacher or self-righteous moralizer.\u00a0 Believe me, I am as in need of growth in life as anyone else\u2026<\/p>\n

I believe, however, that Jesus was often a wild and crazy guy<\/em><\/strong>!\u00a0 The Bible says that many people of his time commented that he was a glutton and a drunkard because he enjoyed parties so much.\u00a0 Many of his parables included great parties or lavish feasts.\u00a0\u00a0 In performing his first public miracle, he turned six, twenty-gallon pots of water into the finest wine – all to be drunk at just one wedding celebration.\u00a0 He hung out with prostitutes.\u00a0 He allowed one to use her hair to wash him with oil.\u00a0 He told little jokes and spoke in puns as when he told Peter \u2013 a name that literally means pebble<\/strong> \u2013 that upon this rock<\/span><\/strong> \u2013 upon Peter – \u00a0he will build his church.\u00a0 Or when he told many of his disciples who had worked as fishermen, that he would turn them into fishers of<\/span><\/em><\/strong> men.\u00a0 He used funny put-downs of hypocrites when he compared them to whitewashed tombs \u2013 clean and fancy on the outside but dirty and full of death on the inside and when he humorously told the wealthy that it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of needle than it would be for them to enter heaven.\u00a0 Imagine picturing that scenario in your minds!<\/p>\n

Alone among history\u2019s prophets, Jesus celebrated children and proclaimed that anybody who wants to be a part of God\u2019s Kingdom \u2013 heaven on earth \u2013 he or she must approach God like a child.\u00a0 As is so often the case, man-made religions and creeds have turned Jesus into a stern but often sad taskmaster.\u00a0 He was, instead, a champion of life, of joy and of a playful spirit.\u00a0 Kids were his models for how we should act and that says everything<\/span><\/em><\/strong> about what Jesus valued.<\/p>\n

But Jesus is not the only spiritual figure to promote joy and playful celebration.\u00a0 The Buddha frequently spoke of the value of a happy heart.\u00a0 He proclaimed that being joyful was not only a balance against negative attitudes and experiences but that acting in a joyful manner actually transforms our minds.\u00a0 The Buddha said we are to actively cultivate happiness, compassion, love and generosity towards others.\u00a0 When we do, we also become joyful.\u00a0 And this is most exhibited by the Dalai Lama who has suffered greatly in his life yet who is playful and seemingly always happy.\u00a0 Indeed, he states that, \u201cThe purpose of life is to be happy.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

We also see that a playful spirit was encouraged by great spiritual thinkers.\u00a0 St. Augustine and St. Aquinas each promoted play and joke telling as important for spiritual relaxation.\u00a0 The Bible describes, in one of the Psalms, God as playfully using clouds as his chariot and sunlight as his shiny clothing.\u00a0 God brings forth grain for nourishment and wine for our pleasure.\u00a0 And, in a remarkable scene that is endorsed by the Divine One, King David is described as one day joyfully stripping down to his undergarments and then dancing through the streets of Jerusalem \u2013 all in praise for the gifts of the God.\u00a0 I cannot imagine a leader of any nation doing such a thing without large numbers of the population immediately declaring him or her insane!<\/p>\n

I chose this topic on play for this Sunday \u2013 Father\u2019s day \u2013 because I believe it is particularly important for men and dads in our culture to be more involved in the lives of children.\u00a0 The arc of progress is moving ever forward in that direction \u2013 men of my dad\u2019s generation would rarely involve themselves in regular and daily child-care.\u00a0 The mere idea of a house-husband who stays home to raise his kids while his wife works was virtually unheard of, whereas today it is more common.\u00a0 Men are getting more involved in the lives of their children \u2013 from diaper changing to feeding to being quite active in their lives.\u00a0 Even more, however, I call on myself and other men to get involved in play with kids \u2013 to encourage it, engage in it and value its importance.\u00a0 And, as much I say this to men \u2013 and to myself, I say it is so for all people.\u00a0 Play is important!<\/p>\n

We see, therefore, that play and playfulness in people<\/p>\n