{"id":1939,"date":"2013-02-17T15:08:59","date_gmt":"2013-02-17T22:08:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thegatheringcincinnati.org\/?p=1939"},"modified":"2013-02-17T15:08:59","modified_gmt":"2013-02-17T22:08:59","slug":"february-24-2013-the-gathering-goes-to-the-movies-paperman-and-the-laws-of-attraction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/2013\/02\/17\/february-24-2013-the-gathering-goes-to-the-movies-paperman-and-the-laws-of-attraction\/","title":{"rendered":"February 17, 2013, "The Gathering Goes to the Movies: "The Laws of Attraction and the film 'Paperman'""},"content":{"rendered":"

Message 122, Gathering Goes to the Movies, \u201cPaperman\u201d and the Laws of Attraction, 2-17-13\"paperman\"<\/a><\/p>\n

(c) Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, UCC, All Rights Reserved<\/p>\n

In advance of listening to or reading the message, please watch the short film video “Paperman”, the subject of this message. \u00a0Click here<\/a> to watch and scroll down to then play the video.<\/p>\n

To listen to the message, download here:<\/p>\n\n

 <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but I found the short animated film entitled \u201cPaperman\u201d to be sweet and charming.\u00a0 I can\u2019t fully explain why I feel that way – perhaps I like the film because it evokes a sense of nostalgia for a seemingly simpler time, or because it is a silent film and I resonate with art that tells a story without using words.\u00a0 I also identify with the characters – two sweet, slightly clumsy, attractive people who are eager to find love and all the joy that it can bring.\u00a0 I also like the animation in the movie – simple but richly detailed with an artistic flair that does not diminish the realistic depictions of trains, busy streets, drab offices and the innocence of its two main characters.<\/p>\n

Indeed, one of the hallmarks of this film is its groundbreaking combination of hand drawn characters merged into computer generated images – or CGI for short.\u00a0 The animator\u2019s flowing and expressive lines are not only integrated into the CGI, but are also adopted by computer software such that many of the character drawings are a combination of artist and computer.\u00a0 This new art form may revolutionize animation by using technology and the nuanced expression of an artist\u2019s hand.\u00a0 That is one of the reason\u2019s why \u201cPaperman\u201d was nominated for an Academy Award in the best animated film category.<\/p>\n

At any rate, as I said, I can\u2019t put my finger on why I like the film.\u00a0 My affection for it likely says more about me than it does about the movie, its story or its animation.\u00a0 In my appreciation of it, I bring something of myself to that attraction equation – my own personality, experiences and outlook on life.<\/p>\n

And that idea of attraction seems to be one theme in the film.\u00a0 What is it about the young woman Meg that catches the eye of her admirer George?\u00a0 Is it just her looks – her Bambi like doe eyes, her trim and lithe figure, her endearing clumsiness, the cant of her smile, her implicit sense of humor?\u00a0 We don\u2019t really know why he\u2019s attracted to her but we quickly realize that George is immediately smitten.\u00a0 Once he spots her again across an urban chasm, George will do anything to reunite with her.<\/p>\n

During a recent radio psychology talk show about love at first sight, many listeners called in to tell their stories of immediate love.\u00a0 Interestingly, all of the callers with stories to tell about love at first sight were men.\u00a0 Only one woman called in and she forcefully shot down the idea saying it does not exist – that men mistake love at first sight with lustful attraction.\u00a0 Whatever it is, George is clearly enamored with Meg.<\/p>\n

How do we make sense of the laws of attraction?\u00a0 Why are we attracted to our friends, lovers and partners?\u00a0 What lights up our brains, our hearts and, yes, our lust when we find we are attracted to someone?\u00a0 What roles do chance and fate play regarding whom we meet and perhaps fall in love?\u00a0 Are we mere puppets dangling from the strings of fate or biology – destined to meet and unite with whomever is swept our way and somehow turns our heads?\u00a0 Or do we, much like George, also work to influence and change the winds of chance and biology?<\/p>\n

After discussing much more serious movies the last two Sundays, I want to consider today a more lighthearted film.\u00a0 I hope to examine the spiritual dimensions of attraction and destiny in the drama of \u201cboy meets girl\u201d, or \u201cboy meets boy\u201d or \u201cgirl meets girl.\u201d\u00a0 How do the multiple forces of attraction, reason, and fate influence us?\u00a0 Do we have a choice in whom we are attracted to or are there other, more complex factors involved like our genetics, past experiences and even fate?\u00a0 Most importantly, what lessons are there from the laws of attraction for how we act and speak throughout<\/span><\/i><\/b> our lives?<\/p>\n

Writing over two thousand years ago, the Greek philosopher Plato said that humans are governed by three distinct influences.\u00a0 We are governed by our reason, by a spiritual desire to be connected with something greater than ourselves and by our physical appetites.\u00a0 Mostly, he wrote, we follow our reason but, on occasion, the two lesser desires, as he called them, also govern our actions.<\/p>\n

For many religions and, indeed, for us, this begs the question as to whether our free will minds influence our actions.\u00a0 Can we freely choose to whom we are attracted?\u00a0 As we just saw, George did not do a lot of thinking when he was immediately drawn to Meg as she stood near him on the train platform.\u00a0 He saw a girl who was attractive to him in many ways, but it is doubtful he thought much about it.\u00a0 Strong emotions and visceral responses stirred within him and he was head over heels drawn to her.\u00a0 It was not a conscious decision.\u00a0 Indeed, it appears he could not help himself!<\/p>\n

George was obviously physically drawn to her beauty.\u00a0 He also liked her smile and her apparent sense of humor – how she found it amusing to have planted a lipstick kiss on a piece of paper.\u00a0 Intuitively, George liked what he saw not just on a physical level but in her dress, demeanor and probable personality.\u00a0 All of the factors that drew her to him were deeply planted in him by his genetics, upbringing and past experiences.\u00a0 He did not think about why he liked what he saw.\u00a0 He just liked!<\/p>\n

That fact, that we are not governed by our reason in the law of attraction but by deeper and more irrational forces, has particular resonance for me and for many gays and lesbians.\u00a0 The debate over what influences sexuality has not yet been settled but it is clear that none of us make a mental choice about the gender to which we are physically and emotionally attracted.\u00a0 It simply happens.<\/p>\n

Recent science points to the idea that a mixture of genetics and upbringing influences our sexualties.\u00a0 Some scientists have identified a particular area of one gene that suggests a cause for same sex attraction.\u00a0 Others point to slight differences in gay and lesbian brains to account for same sex attraction.\u00a0 Still others have shown that changes in maternal hormone levels during pregnancy can influence sexuality.\u00a0 And others point to abundant anecdotal evidence that says upbringing by a domineering mother or a distant father can influence gay sexuality.\u00a0 Most scientists believe all of these factors play a role in determining human sexuality.\u00a0 Importantly, however, there is a majority consensus by psychologists and other experts that none of us – straight, lesbian, gay or bisexual – are able to consciously or unconsciously choose the deep seated core attractions we feel.\u00a0 We don\u2019t conjure them up from our rational thinking and we can\u2019t forbid them from our emotions.\u00a0 They just happen and, much like in George, we are powerless to stop feeling them.<\/p>\n

Over the last decade, a scientific group called \u201cdeCode\u201d has thoroughly examined the human genetic sequence and identified hundreds of genetic markers for conditions such as diabetes, alcoholism and metabolism rates.\u00a0 What this study is also beginning to show, however, is that genetics are not absolutely determinative.\u00a0 We might be prone to be diabetic but we can affect whether or not we eventually suffer from the disease by our eating habits.\u00a0 In other words, our genes don\u2019t totally dictate our health destiny.\u00a0 Our own rational choices combined<\/span><\/i> with destiny and biology work together.<\/p>\n

And that is clearly relevant in matters of attraction.\u00a0 Just as the film \u201cPaperman\u201d showed us, there are a combination of factors involved in whether or not George meets Meg again.\u00a0 Yes, it is purely by chance that George meets Meg and that his office is directly across from a building where she is.\u00a0 But, George has to then make the decision to do something with what fate has given him.\u00a0 Even with his multiple attempts to catch her eye again, fate plays its tricks to conspire against him.\u00a0 The wind diverts his paper airplanes, a bird crashes into one, another sails into the trash can, still another lands on someone else\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n

The amusing story of George\u2019s efforts is that, once smitten, he does almost anything he can to meet Meg again.\u00a0 He is persistent even to the point of likely losing his job all because of one brief interaction with a woman who deeply stirred his feelings of attraction.\u00a0 In other words, simple attraction is not enough.\u00a0 Fate creates the opportunity but he must seize it.<\/p>\n

Indeed, George lives true to the words of William Shakespeare when he had his character Romeo utter the famous words, \u201cOh, I am fortune\u2019s fool!\u201d<\/b>\u00a0 Much as with Romeo, fate conspired to have George cross paths with Meg and then be deeply attracted to her.\u00a0 George is fortune\u2019s fool in his pursuit, but only to a point.\u00a0 He does not allow fate to determine his destiny.\u00a0 He persistently acts so that his one fortunate meeting with Meg will not be forever lost.\u00a0 As an implicit message in the film, fate gives us a chance but it rarely repeats itself.<\/p>\n

John Galsworthy, a famous English novelist and nobel laureate in literature, once said that, \u201cLife calls the tune, we dance.\u201d<\/b>\u00a0 And that is exactly how George reacts in \u201cPaperman.\u201d\u00a0 If he is to meet Meg again, if his feelings of love at first sight are to be fulfilled, if the tale is to end sixty years in the future as a forever after love story, then George must figuratively dance to whatever tune fate and biology played for him.\u00a0 To use a recent analogy, binders full of women will not open up everyday to drop a beautiful girl next to him.<\/p>\n

Dr. Laura Berman, a contemporary commentator on relationships, says that for us to meet the opportunities that fortune gives us in finding a friend, partner or spouse, we must first be specific about the qualities that deeply stir us.\u00a0 We should not hide behind what we think<\/span> we want or what we believe<\/span> we should want.\u00a0 We must be honest with what we truly<\/span><\/b> and deeply want.\u00a0 And that has resonance for those of us who have had to come out of the closet and admit to same sex attractions.\u00a0 It took me a long time to understand this fact.\u00a0 I was not happy until I confessed to myself the truth of my inner attractions.<\/p>\n

Gays and lesbians should be given the freedom to come out when and how they personally feel best.\u00a0\u00a0 Even so, coming out is a truly liberating experience.\u00a0 As Jesus said, \u201cThe truth will set you free.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Next, we cannot allow fate to set the course of our lives.\u00a0 How much energy do we put into the equation for determining our happiness in life or the person we befriend or fall in love with?\u00a0 We must act in ways that give a nudge to the hand of fate.<\/p>\n

Dr. Berman also says we should learn to embrace empty spaces in our lives.\u00a0 As humans, too often we feel a need to fill a void we perceive – in how we furnish our homes, in long pauses during a conversation or, in our search to find friends and partners.\u00a0 Empty things scare us and so we work to fill them up.\u00a0 This is something I am still learning.\u00a0 I must be comfortable and happy just<\/span><\/b> with myself.\u00a0 Only then can I be comfortable and happy with someone else.<\/p>\n

Finally, Dr. Berman asserts that the law of attraction throughout our lives is defined by the fact that similar things attract similar things.\u00a0 If we are happy, engaged, curious, confident and positive people, we will attract similar reactions and attitudes from others.\u00a0 If we are angry, bitter, depressed and sad, we will likely attract the same.\u00a0 This holds true for how we interact throughout our lives with friends, partners and spouses.\u00a0 As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, \u201cLove, and you shall be loved.\u201d<\/b>\u00a0 We have a strong say in how our life destiny plays out.\u00a0 We help to create our happiness.\u00a0 We must take what destiny hands us and then do the work necessary to build a life of joy and fulfillment.<\/p>\n

Despite that fact, circumstances in life can and do tear us down.\u00a0 Much like we discussed last Sunday with the story of \u201cLes Miserables\u201d, life is often painful and harsh.\u00a0 Cruel people or difficult circumstances hurt us and often prevent us from finding the happiness we seek.\u00a0 But, we also saw how Jean Valjean in that story constantly worked to redeem not only the lives of others but his own life too.\u00a0 We cannot give up on life.\u00a0 We cannot allow hate or misery or past mistakes to define who we are.\u00a0 Redemption and resurrection are ALWAYS possible. \u00a0Just as science is proving, fate and destiny need not have the last word.<\/p>\n

And that is also, ironically, a message from \u201cPaperman\u201d.\u00a0 George redeems his missed opportunity encounter with Meg.\u00a0 He is doggedly persistent.\u00a0 He remained hopeful and determined. \u00a0The same must hold true for any of us.\u00a0 Fate, destiny and biology do their best to order our lives.\u00a0 Other people conspire to define us and set in stone whom they believe we are.\u00a0 But we can, and often do, overcome all of these forces.<\/p>\n

Whatever causes George to be attracted to Meg, whether it be fate, destiny or his own inner feelings, the humor and moral focus of the story is George\u2019s persistence.\u00a0 Even when all seems lost, when the last paper airplane with Meg\u2019s lipstick kiss on it is blown away, destiny and persistence still work hand in hand – George does not give up but defies fate and rushes out of his work to meet Meg in person.<\/p>\n

This is one of the great spiritual mysteries of life – how one second in time can alter the trajectory of our lives forever.\u00a0 We often wonder in amazement how that can be as we also ponder how life would be so different had a fateful event not occurred.<\/p>\n

Rarely, however, do we focus on how our own actions worked alongside our destiny.\u00a0 We are not, as I asked earlier, mere puppets on a string.\u00a0 All of the great and powerful forces of the universe work together, without our input, to shape who and what we are.\u00a0 They help determine our lives and whether we find success or suffering.\u00a0 But, we are not without power and ability to affect them.\u00a0 Indeed, we are the gods and goddesses that ALSO shape our destiny and the future of our world.<\/p>\n

I hope that all of us might act a bit like George in the film \u201cPaperman.\u201d\u00a0 To the people whom destiny has brought our way, to our friends, family members, spouses, partners, lovers, and even total strangers, let us fling upon the air currents our paper airplanes of hope and goodness.\u00a0 Life may set the tune, but we will dance on the wings of love…<\/p>\n

I wish you, here or listening online, much peace and joy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Message 122, Gathering Goes to the Movies, \u201cPaperman\u201d and the Laws of Attraction, 2-17-13 (c) Doug Slagle, Pastor at the Gathering, UCC, All Rights Reserved In advance of listening to or reading the message, please watch the short film video “Paperman”, the subject of this message. \u00a0Click here to watch and scroll down to then […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1939","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1939"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1939\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1939"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1939"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1939"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}