{"id":104,"date":"2010-03-14T11:42:01","date_gmt":"2010-03-14T18:42:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/genevievecritel.com\/gathering\/?p=104"},"modified":"2010-03-14T11:42:01","modified_gmt":"2010-03-14T18:42:01","slug":"march-14-2010","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/2010\/03\/14\/march-14-2010\/","title":{"rendered":"March 14, 2010, Lessons from the movie "Up in the Air""},"content":{"rendered":"

Message 14, Up in the Air, 3-14-10\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

For any of you who have seen Up in the Air<\/span>, you might relate with my reaction to it. \u00a0I both laughed and felt like I was punched in the stomach. \u00a0For me, the movie was visceral in how it affected me. There is a lot of subtle commentary in the movie about contemporary challenges like unemployment, corporate insensitivity and downsizing as well as how technology dehumanizes and isolates us from each other. \u00a0But, as I found with the movie Avatar that we discussed last Sunday, these are the easy messages to draw from the film. \u00a0What I found most profound – and what hit me in the gut – was the protagonist’s search, George Clooney’s character, to find significance and meaning in his life. \u00a0We watch him face a kind of mid-life crisis in which everything he had dedicated his life toward achieving, all of sudden seemed to him small, insignificant and ultimately worthless. \u00a0As I saw him flounder in a life he no longer completely understands, I also squirmed. \u00a0We all face this deeply personal question, at some silent moment – perhaps in the dark of night – when we ponder our lives and ask ourselves “What is the meaning of my life? \u00a0Why am I here? \u00a0What use am I to the world? \u00a0Does anything really matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

As I have said before, I think we will also face these questions some day in the future – when we know that our lives are close to the end. \u00a0Our answers to those questions are likely determined by what we do in the days, months and years leading up to that point.<\/p>\n

On his deathbed, W.C. Fields was found to be furiously thumbing through the Bible, frantically skimming it for some insightful word. \u00a0When asked what he was doing, W.C. replied, “I’m looking for a loophole!” \u00a0And, on his deathbed, the noted 18th century philosopher Voltaire was asked by a Priest if he would like to renounce Satan. \u00a0To which the ever sharp Voltaire replied, “Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies!”<\/p>\n

In our movie to be considered today, however, George Clooney’s character Ryan Bingham has spent his adult life working for a firm euphemistically called \u201cCareer Transition Counseling\u201d. \u00a0He is, in reality, not a transition counselor but a travelling corporate axeman hired to fire people whom corporations lack the courage to face. \u00a0And, being in great demand, he travels the country spending 340 days a year on the road. \u00a0Bingham takes pride in his work and considers himself an angel of mercy to those who are fired. He tells his erstwhile, laid off clients that being fired is an opportunity, a wake-up call and the first day in building a new life. \u00a0Using simple platitudes and understanding words, he softens the blow. \u00a0The film poignantly uses actual laid off people \u2013 not actors – to portray many of those whom Bingham fires. \u00a0They provide real words and real faces to the anguish, anger and sense of betrayal in being let go from a job and career.<\/p>\n

If this part of the movie showcases the human side of the main character, his personal life is anything but normal. \u00a0Living as a single man with no children, little family contact, few possessions and a plain, undecorated white box of an apartment which he rarely sees, Bingham revels in his life spent in airports and airplanes, unremarkable hotels and bland restaurants. \u00a0He proudly lives an unattached life. And the main goal of that life is to become one of only seven people to amass ten million airline frequent flyer miles. \u00a0He does not care for the resulting perks, upgrades or possible free trips. \u00a0He just wants the elite status and the knowledge of having achieved such a dubious milestone.<\/p>\n

But things begin to change for him when he is asked to train a young protege who advocates using remote video conferencing to fire people. \u00a0He meets a woman with whom he begins to have a romantic relationship. \u00a0He is also asked to attend his younger sister’s wedding and thus reunite with family members – many of whom he has a distant if not indifferent relationship. \u00a0These three human interactions cause Bingham to begin to see his life in a new light and to re-evaluate his priorities. \u00a0The movie does not provide a simple or facile conclusion. \u00a0While Bingham comes to see the utter insignificance of his life, he is not able to so easily change it. \u00a0He finally becomes a victim of his own indifferent and casual treatment of others.<\/p>\n

As some of you know, I turned 50 last September and it was a mildly traumatic moment for me. Age is just a number, I continue to tell myself and I intellectually believe that. \u00a0How we act and how we acquire wisdom while retaining youthful exuberance for life is what really matters. \u00a0But the term, “half a century old”, still does not sit well with me. \u00a0A big reason for that is my anxiety over what meaning my life has had and what purpose and value I can still bring. \u00a0I don’t want the answers to my questions of meaning – when I am on my deathbed – to lack conviction or to be devoid of importance. \u00a0I want to live a life that matters to at least one other person. \u00a0I want my life to have meaning and purpose.<\/p>\n

For those who are conservative Christians, the sole purpose of life is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever. \u00a0That is the plainly stated Christian purpose of humans in one of the standard creeds – the Westminster Shorter Catechism. \u00a0As much as I personally disagree with this view of life, I marvel at the passionate adherence to the idea of glorifying God that many Christians have. \u00a0For me, however, this view ultimately does not answer my questions about suffering, significance and love for people.<\/p>\n

Jews define their lives through adherence to the Torah and God’s commands for right living. \u00a0 That, combined with worship and with acts of love towards others is the Jewish purpose for humankind.<\/p>\n

Muslims see life as a test in how we obey and serve Allah. \u00a0Whether or not we ultimately enter Heaven is the answer to our questions about meaning and purpose in life. \u00a0Those who enter Heaven, therefore, have lived a meaningful life.<\/p>\n

For Buddhists, the goal is not to find meaning in life but to end suffering by detaching oneself from earthly desires. \u00a0A successful person then reaches the state of nirvana – which is freedom from suffering and endless rebirth.<\/p>\n

Incorporating spirituality in our lives does offer a level of significance to many people.\u00a0 As much as we are rational and thinking beings, contemplating the mysteries of life are important.\u00a0 That is, I believe, one of our purposes here at the Gathering \u2013 to collectively search and inquire the spiritual realm.\u00a0 Whatever our beliefs are, we acknowledge both an inner and exterior power that is beyond our physical and mental worlds.\u00a0 In this search, we are looking for meaning and purpose.<\/p>\n

I believe spirituality recognizes the mystery at work in humanity \u2013 and this moves us ever onward toward creating goodness and perfection.\u00a0 As we just heard, each world religion has that as its end.\u00a0 But the final goal, in my belief, should be the well being of humanity and of earth itself.\u00a0\u00a0 As I have said many times, we yearn for and we work to build heaven here and now.\u00a0 I believe that was Jesus\u2019 true mission.\u00a0 Salvation and redemption come not through belief in him as a God, but in living out his ideals.\u00a0 Joy, peace, compassion, and justice are such ideals.\u00a0 To that end, therefore, I believe our life meaning must be self-defined and it is, ultimately, a matter of choice in how we live out the ideals of Jesus and many others throughout history who have taught them \u2013 like Buddha, Mohammed, Abraham, Gandhi and Martin Luther King. \u00a0We are who we make ourselves to be. \u00a0Our world is what we create it to be.\u00a0 The meaning of life is shaped by what we choose to make relevant \u2013 love or hate, peaceful contentment or bitterness and self-pity.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

Victor Frankl, a holocaust survivor and author of the book,\u00a0Man’s Search for Meaning<\/span>, writes that our meaning is defined in every moment we live. \u00a0Far from encompassing one unifying life theme, we are an amalgam of life experiences each of which have meaning and purpose. \u00a0This moment by moment living finds meaning not in the collective whole of our lives but in everything<\/span><\/strong> that we experience.\u00a0 Calling it \u201cDe<\/strong>-Reflection<\/strong>\u201d, <\/strong>Frankl writes that from his time in concentration camps he came to realize that the endless pursuit of life meaning ultimately leaves one chasing an ethereal and impossible goal. \u00a0Instead, he encourages a celebratory and joyful grasp of life’s every<\/span><\/strong> moment – even when we suffer or are in pain.<\/p>\n

In a Library of Congress poll, Frankl’s book was selected as one of the ten most influential books of the twentieth century for his insights on meaning and suffering. \u00a0He describes his experiences in Aushwitz when death seemed near and when sadistic Nazi guards harassed and tormented prisoners unmercifully. In the midst of such experiences, Frankl found that both his faith in a future and his deep love for his wife gave him meaning and purpose in those moments. \u00a0Far from degrading him to the point of insignificance, which was the dehumanizing goal of the Nazis, Frankl held onto his own soul and the meaning that he alone gave it. \u00a0He was determined that only he would provide the meaning to his life by the choices he made in reaction to his suffering. \u00a0Instead of allowing himself to be reduced, to feel the sharp stings of torture and to allow them to affect him, he instead soared. \u00a0He imagined his wife, he pictured her face and saw her looking upon him. \u00a0He says that as he gazed at the rising sun one morning during a forced time of fasting – when he was literally starving to death – he saw his beloved wife as a vision that shone in his mind brighter than the sun. \u00a0He concludes that such love, such passion for his wife, gave him meaning in that moment and in many other moments of suffering.<\/p>\n

Frankl writes about this moment, “In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way \u00a0\u2013 an honorable way \u00a0\u2013 in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, “The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory….”<\/strong><\/p>\n

He later adds this insight, “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that\u00a0everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms\u2014to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” <\/strong><\/p>\n

Frankl sums up his belief about how we can discover meaning.\u00a0 First<\/strong>, we can be defined by our deeds and our work.\u00a0 Or, second<\/strong>, we can be defined by our experiences and encounters with people.\u00a0 Finally, the third alternative<\/strong> for finding life meaning is through our attitude when we suffer. \u00a0For me, these three choices for finding life purpose ring as true as anything I have read or heard on the subject. We choose who and what we are by our reactions to the world and people around us. \u00a0We are defined by how we act and how we interact. \u00a0In our world there are women and men who define their lives by hate, greed, intolerance, deception and arrogance. \u00a0The human race also contains those who are defined by peacemaking, joy, compassion, advocacy for human rights and love. \u00a0Each set of lives has meaning. \u00a0Each set has purpose. \u00a0And yet, which group exalts and lifts up the human condition? \u00a0Which group do we celebrate and whose work continues the eternal work of Divine love?<\/p>\n

The Biblical book of Ecclesiastes tells us the following about our purpose and the attitude we are to have.\u00a0 I quote from the NIV translation: \u201c<\/strong>God<\/strong> has made everything beautiful in its time. <\/strong>God<\/strong> has also set eternity in the hearts of <\/strong>humans. <\/strong>I know that there is nothing better for <\/strong>people<\/strong> than to be happy and do good while they live<\/span><\/em>.\u00a0That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in <\/strong>their work<\/strong>\u2014this is the gift of God.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

In my previous work as a Pastor, I regularly visited a woman from our congregation who became so sick and weak that it was necessary for her to move to a nursing home. \u00a0Loureide used to be a beautiful woman who, when she was much younger, had modeled for local TV and print ads. \u00a0She raised a family of several children and had lived a happy and fulfilled life. \u00a0Before her stroke, she was active, and very cheerful. \u00a0She always had a broad smile and an easy and friendly demeanor. \u00a0Near the end of her life, though, she suffered a series of strokes which left one side of her body paralyzed. \u00a0One side of her face drooped and the side of her mouth hung open. \u00a0She was often unable to stop drooling. \u00a0Confined to a wheelchair and only able to talk with difficulty, Lou nevertheless would visibly brighten whenever I came to visit. \u00a0She had a raspy laugh when I told her something funny about an incident at church or when I talked to her about my girls. \u00a0She always asked about my life and how I was doing. \u00a0The nurses who cared for her came to love her deeply. \u00a0She would pat their hands whenever they assisted her, offer hugs to them with her one good arm and thank them for their help.<\/p>\n

I could not help but feel sorry for Lou – even though she did not feel sorry for herself. \u00a0I had seen a fairly vibrant woman become a shadow. \u00a0And yet she was a joy to visit. \u00a0She truly never complained about her condition or her final lot in life. \u00a0It did not seem fair to me that she ended up this way – forced to sell her home and become dependent on Medicaid, living two people to a room and suffering the indignity of being fed and bathed by strangers. \u00a0She told me a few months before she passed that she was quite happy and not afraid to die. \u00a0She was content with her life and felt that she had been immensely blessed.<\/p>\n

When I think about the meaning of Lou’s life, I cannot help but think of her spirit and her happiness –\u00a0 up to the very end. \u00a0She had been a homemaker, a proud mom and loving grandmother. \u00a0Lou had never run a business, been published or made millions of dollars. \u00a0From outward appearances, there was nothing extraordinary about her life.\u00a0 But her life still has resonance and meaning.\u00a0 Just as Victor Frankl refused to allow the Nazi death camps to defeat him, Lou chose to live joyfully and thankfully in each and every moment.\u00a0 She chose to always extend herself to others in her cheerful way instead of sinking into her own problems.<\/p>\n

In the film Up in the Air,<\/span> Ryan Bingham chooses a life of detachment from other humans and from being present in a world of personal interaction.\u00a0 He lives literally in the clouds \u2013 above, aloof and removed.\u00a0 His few moments of connection are when he offers a human face and a human touch to other people. These are the epiphany moments for him when he finds genuine meaning \u2013 when he calms a laid-off employee, when he looks into the eyes of the woman he falls in love with and when he convinces the intended groom of his younger sister to go through with the wedding.\u00a0 He finally reaches the conclusion, near the end of the film, when he says, \u201cWhen you remember the most important moments of your life, you realize you weren\u2019t alone; everyone needs a copilot.\u00a0 Life is better with someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Our lives are bookmarked by our experiences and interactions with other people – from when we are born and descend into the waiting arms of our mothers, to when we take our last breath and walk the journey into eternity with loved ones in our hearts, we are in the company of others.\u00a0 Even as we experience the depths of pain, there are others with us \u2013 either in our mind\u2019s visions – or literally present with us to hug, care and comfort.\u00a0 I want to choose a life and a meaning that embraces other people, celebrates love, laughs in the face of adversity and cherishes every second.\u00a0 Let me pray to the heavens above and to all the angels of the universe that I might grow to be such a person.\u00a0 My meaning and my purpose is to choose each moment of life to serve, to love and to celebrate people.<\/p>\n

What a tremendous joy it is to be here right now \u2013 with all of you.\u00a0 We entered here and smiled a greeting to each other, we sing, we share, we give and we hug in moments of great pleasure.\u00a0 This is life itself \u2013 here and now.\u00a0 This<\/span><\/em><\/strong> has depth and purpose.\u00a0 Let me exult in it.\u00a0 This time.\u00a0 This place.\u00a0 All of you.\u00a0 In this beautiful and loving and wondrous and eternal moment with you, I find meaning.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Message 14, Up in the Air, 3-14-10 For any of you who have seen Up in the Air, you might relate with my reaction to it. \u00a0I both laughed and felt like I was punched in the stomach. \u00a0For me, the movie was visceral in how it affected me. There is a lot of subtle […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=104"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gnhuu.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}